Chapter 18

Jacob POV

Alice informed us that Jane had made a decision, she said she had decided to be found. That gave her enough to give us a general area. She said we were going to need to head to the Rocky Mountains. It was far too big an area to search, and she knew it, but we all hoped that with that area as a start things would become clearer.

I listened with half an ear to the discussion of the logistics of heading out, we were going home. Edward and Carlisle wanted to involve the pack, we could cover a lot of ground together, and somehow I think we all wanted to bring this fight to our own turf. Aro and Marcus had decided to join us, along with Eleazar and Alistair. Alec, was with Alice trying to help her focus on Jane. I was exhausted and still weaker than I think I have felt since I first phased.

Carlisle put me into Bella's capable hands, and she was monitoring my blood pressure, temperature and all pertinent vital signs. I could tell by the look on her face things weren't quite right. Bella never could lie, and I knew she was somehow worried about me, as well as her daughter. I had no such luxury. All I could do was worry about the reason for my very existence.

"What?" I asked her.

"How do you feel, Jake?"

"Hollow," I breathed.

"Is that emotionally or physically?"

"Bella, I have no idea what you are talking about."

"Jake, focus. How do you feel, physically?"

"I ache, I guess. My chest is sore."

"Is it where you were cut?"

I was getting annoyed. What difference did it make if my stupid chest ached. God alone knew what could be happening to Nessie. "No, I guess not, it hurts here" I said indicating the center of my chest.

"Damn," Bella growled. "I was afraid of that."

"What?"

"I'm not sure. Carlisle, I need you," she turned to him and beckoned. "I think I hear a murmur, and the rate is off."

Carlisle took the stethoscope and listened intently. His brow furrowed. Then he pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. "Edward, we may have another problem."

Edward was by our side in less than a moment. He too listened to my chest. I was beginning to get annoyed. Why were they focusing on me, we needed to focus on getting to my girl, by any means.

"Do you think that sedation is in order?"

"Whoa! What the hell is going on?" I said standing up.

All of them turned to me at once. Edward was the one to explain. "Jacob, do you remember when I told you about the imprint effecting you physically?" I nodded. "We are witnessing that phenomenon right now. Your heart is so used to beating in tune with Nessie's that it utilizes her beat to regulate it's own. Right now, it would appear that the physical distance between you is leaving your heart searching for the beat is uses as it's guide. That is why we are hearing a murmur. Your heart doesn't know how to beat without Nessie's heart to guide it."

"Well hell, Edward, I could have told you my heart doesn't work right without her."

"Jake, I am not kidding, your heart is physically at risk while you two are this far apart. The imprint physically binds the two of you in ways that we do no fully understand, but we know that whenever one is effected, so is the other. Your heart is apparently responding to Nessie's being gone."

"I don't care about my heart, Edward. I care about Nessie, and making her safe."

"Let me try," Bella said putting a hand on Edward's arm. "Jacob, you need to let us stabilize your heart. We don't know what your heart might do, but I can guarantee you that Nessie's heart is most likely having the same reaction. Can you imagine what her heart might do if something happens to you? Are you willing to risk finding out?"

I sat back down. "What do I need to do?"

"Aro is arranging the jet to get us back home. We think we need to sedate you. At least until we can find a way to stabilize it's beat."

I growled. I did not want to be taken out of the loop.

"I know how you feel, Jake, but remember in doing this, you are doing your part to protect her."

I failed her once already. I won't do it again. Hook me up.

I drifted into a semi-awareness. I was not asleep, but I was not awake either. I was in a place like no other, somewhere in-between. I had no sense of place, or even time. All I was certain of was that I was not alone.

Then I saw an image flash across my mind. It was foggy, unclear, I almost didn't believe I had seen anything. I tried to clear my mind and focus on the sense I had that she was here.

"Jake?"

It wasn't exactly a voice, it was a thought, but it was her. I knew it. It was almost like the pack mind in that I sensed the flavor of the thought, and I relished that flavor.

"Ness!"

The thought was laced with relief and regret.

"Jake, it wasn't your fault."

"Where are you?"

"I don't know?"

"Nessie, are you hurt?"

"I'm not sure. Caius met us when Nahuel stopped running and told me that I had to drink something. I didn't want to, but he was clear that they could inject it into a vein if I didn't co-operate. That's the last thing I really remember. What about you?"

"Jane healed me before she took off,"

"Jane... Healed you? Well that's interesting."

"Yeah, well, I told her that Alec missed her."

"I wish this were real, I wish you could really hear me," her thoughts sighed. I tasted her sadness and her fear.

"Baby, I think this is real. I mean how else would you know that Jane healed me? How would I know you had swallowed a sleeping potion?" I was trying to help her understand that this was happening. " Your folks and Carlisle insisted on sedating me, we are both sleeping right now."

"Why? What's wrong? Why did they sedate you?"

"I guess my heart misses you."

"That's why they sedated you?" Her anxiety was palpable. I wanted to enfold her in my arms and make her feel safe again.

"Apparently my heart doesn't like being without you, but don't worry, we have it under control. How are you feeling?" I wanted to be sure she was alright, without worrying her.

"I don't know. I mean..." she paused taking inventory of her senses. "How long have I been gone?"

"Not sure, I have sort of lost track of time with the ga-ga juice they gave me. We are headed home though. We have an idea of where o look for you, thanks to Jane, again."

"I'll have to remember to thank her."

"Discretely though, okay. We don't want her changing her mind about what she has done. Keep your eyes and ears open, any clue to where you are will be helpful, but more importantly

you focus on keeping yourself safe. Promise me."

"I will if you will."

"Deal."

"Jake," her thought stuttered, "I'm scared."

"I will find you, I swear!"

"I love you."

"I love you more. You are my life, without you I have nothing. Be safe."

"Jake..." I felt her slipping away, the images and essence of her thoughts were becoming fuzzy again. I tried to keep her with me, reaching for her with my thoughts, but she slipped through my figurative fingers. My mind cried out to her, but no longer got an answer.

Nessie POV

There was a brightness behind my lids, they glowed red, and I shied away from the light. My head hurt, that was new. I could not remember ever feeling like this. I scrunched my forehead fighting the instinct to open my eyes. I remembered feeling an almost physical pain watching Jane torture Jake. It took everything in me not to vomit. I needed it to stop, and if that meant handing myself over to a lunatic then that was exactly what I was going to do. I looked Jake in the eyes and willed him to understand, though I knew it was pointless. He would never understand that his life was more important than my own. His protective instinct put me first, and would balk at my doing the same for him.

When I gained consciousness I was in a sterile room. I was lying on a metal surgical table and was shivering from the cold. My head was unclear and I fought to come fully awake. I longed for the comfort I had within that space in between waking and dreaming. The place that I had found Jake.

The sound of a heart monitor beeping nearby became my focus. It sounded off somehow, it was not right.

"Ah, Miss Cullen, welcome back." Caius said from my side.

"Where am I?"

"My research facility."

"What's wrong? Why am I hooked up to that monitor," I asked.

"You did not react to the sedative as expected. You have been out for almost two days. The usual is no more than eight hours."

This thought did not comfort me. Again I tried to focus on the monitor. My heartbeat was generally quite fast, the sound on the monitor was beating at an almost human pace. How could that be my heart? What had Jake said in my dream, " Apparently my heart doesn't like being without you."Was my heart reacting badly to being without Jake as his was to being without me?

"I will send Jane in to assist you in making yourself presentable," Caius said lifting a phone to his ear. "I would suggest you co-operate and behave yourself. You do not possess your mother's shield, I am rather certain that Jane's gifts would be quite effective on you."

With that he left me alone. I slowly lifted myself to a sitting position. The room was stark and looked like one of Papa Carlisle's examination rooms at the hospital. I was still dressed in the button front shirt and khaki pants that Alice had given me to wear to the nature preserve, but there were leads now attached to my chest. I took a deep breath and really listened. The rate was a little slow, but what surprised me was the occasional stutter I heard. I remembered Jake's plea to me"focus on keeping yourself safe."I focused on calming myself and swore to keep my hear beating until I found him again.

I began to peel off the sticky squares as Jane entered the room.

She no longer dressed in the black robe of the Volturi guard. Now she wore a blood red robe that cinched at her waist. Her perfect and pale face was topped by her soft golden hair that still rested in a tight bun at the nape of her neck. There was a difference to her appearance, however. Although her eyes still glowed red, they had a black rim to them now, and an almost haunted look.

"Jane?" I found myself asking, " Are you alright?"

She turned her face to mine and looked questioningly at me. "You are the one hooked up to the monitor, shouldn't I be asking you that question?"

Her voice held no malice, rather she sounded tired. "I know how I am, I was interested in you," I told her.

"What is it with you and your mutt? He's dying and makes the effort to tell me about my brother, you're trapped here and you ask if I am alright?" She shook her head as if she was trying to make sense of it.

"We care about people, it's just how we were raised."

"Then no," she sighed, "I am not alright." She seemed to realize that something was off. "Why didn't you ask me if your boyfriend was dead?"

"Because I know he's not."

"How do you know that?"

Oops, that was a slip. I needed to remember that my connection to Jake was not for public consumption. "I would feel it. Why isn't he dead? You said he was dying."

"Because he told me Alec misses me. I couldn't do it. I didn't want to," she looked defeated.

"Thank you."

"I didn't do it for you."

"I know," I said, "Thank you anyway."

"They want you dressed and upstairs," Jane said almost mechanically as she handed me a dress.

I looked at it. It was pale peach and gauzy. It flowed through my fingers as I held it up. I might have thought it pretty, if I didn't know it was meant to please Nahuel. I stood and went behind the changing screen. I donned the dress and stepped out to face Jane.

I remembered the stories that my father and mother had told me of Jane and her sadistic gift. I had imagined her as a larger than life, menacing force, but here faced with the delicate form of the woman before me I was completely taken aback. She seemed almost fragile.

"I guess I am ready," I said.

"May I make a suggestion?" she asked me.

"Sure," I responded.

"Be as agreeable as you can, and when you have the chance to, slip a few drops of this into Nahuel's drink." She handed me a small vial of clear liquid. "Wait until you are alone, and make sure that you don't over play your willingness to be with him. Caius will be watching you, and it is him you need to convince. Nahuel is an idiot. Caius is the real brains of the operation. He is willing to indulge Nahuel in this, but if he thinks there is anything fishy he won't hesitate to act."

"Act how?"

"I'm not sure."

I realized that his might be my only chance to talk one on one with Jane, and as she was kind enough to help me with this information, I felt she deserved at least a modicum of trust.

"Jane, Jake gave your message to Alec. He's looking for you."

Her eyes sparkled for a moment, then she nodded almost imperceptibly. "Thank you. Come on, you don't want to keep them waiting."

I squared my shoulders and allowed Jane o lead me from the examination room. I would have given anything to be able o keep Jake's thoughts with me as I went. I felt my heart thud against my chest as I thought of him, he was right, my heart missed him terribly.