She Prayed for Death to Take Her

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Inuyasha.

-oOo-

As Kagome fell back down the well for the final time, her heart closed and became cold as the final lingering image from the past stabbed like swords through her – Inuyasha and Kikyou, descending into the abyss together, leaving her alone.

It was the end of everything, as far as she was concerned.

-oOo-

Inuyasha shivered, body, heart and soul cold as he'd never been when he was still alive – hell wasn't hot, it was frigid, dark, and empty, and the only company he had in that place was Kikyou's soul. The problem was, she was almost colder than hell itself, and it gave him no comfort to be near her – not like he'd thought it would.

It had truly only been vengeance and hatred that had made her drag him here – it wasn't because she'd wanted to be with him, she had just wanted to make sure he suffered; since she was dead, he should be, too, was her reasoning.

His mind flashed back to memories of Kagome, and even though he was with Kikyou, it was only memories of the future-born miko that gave him any comfort now. So he did the only thing he could do in this lonely, empty place – he closed his eyes and drifted in dreams of the past, and of her. At this point, he didn't even care that it angered Kikyou that he had such an escape, and he simply ignored her hateful presence, lingering always in memories of warmth and light – and love.

In that way, centuries passed...

-oOo-

Then came a moment in time when the stillness that was hell stirred; another presence was upon them, and a tiny bit of light pulled back the dank darkness of the pit he and she occupied. Curious, as he hadn't been since he'd been brought to this place, he opened his eyes and watched as the King of Hell himself loomed over the two souls in the darkness. He opened his mouth, but couldn't speak – his soul no longer remembered how.

It seemed, however, that the master of that place understood his questions, even unspoken. "I have come to take this ragged piece of soul, and return it to the world above – it is time for her next incarnation to be born. She will find that her selfishness and hatred will only cause her great suffering in this next life. It is just too bad that this particular incarnation, called Kagome, must suffer so much for the sins of this wretch. But that is her fate."

Inuyasha was alarmed. Kagome? She's going to be born? But... what's the fate that's so bad? She survived, and went home! How is that bad?

For a moment, Kikyou's soul fought the summons, not wanting to leave, fear taking her at the words of the Master of Hell, but she had no choice, and Inuyasha watched helplessly as her soul disappeared, heading back into the world of light for her next life.

And now he was completely alone... though he wasn't surprised to realize that really, it felt no different than with Kikyou there. He had been alone since the moment he'd made the choice to leave Kagome.

The blank features of the King of that place turned towards him. "Soon, in the blink of an eye to those of us who exist here, the soul that was Kikyou, and which is now Kagome, will be here once more."

No! Kagome doesn't belong here! Hell isn't the place for someone like her – how could the kami do this? Her heart was pure! Inuyasha was horrified – there was no way that she deserved such a fate... it wasn't fair at all.

"Her heart is already here, hanyou. When you left, her heart lost all of its light and every bit of its warmth. It died when you did, and even though you just always assumed she would be safe in her own time, in truth, there is danger everywhere. She needed you to save her... but you weren't there, and in the end, she didn't even fight for her life, she just accepted death, and passed on."

Inuyasha wasn't even aware of the tears that were suddenly running down his cheeks, his own soul darkening with horror and guilt for the choice he had made – and the consequences that Kagome would pay for it. He couldn't even imagine a Kagome without the light that had shone so brightly from within, and that he had been the one to cause its extinguishing, was painful beyond belief.

"It was not just yourself, hanyou, but Kikyou as well. The woman was only concerned with her last life – but she was short-sighted, and she is now paying the price for that. As Kagome, she is suffering her actions from the past right along with the rest of the girl's soul."

How long does she live after... after I leave? His eyes were shut tightly – he was afraid of the answer.

"Fifteen years."

Does she ever find happiness? he almost begged. Find someone and have kids or anything?

"I have said her heart died with you, did I not? No – she never even looked. She couldn't."

Inuyasha broke even further, then, anguish eating at him, and his whole being wishing he could go back in time and change what he'd done. He choked.

How... how does she die?

"I will show you," the master said, gesturing, and before him, a light opened up, and he could see Kagome – and her world.

His shock was complete at what he was seeing. Her eyes were hollow, empty, her face almost slack and there was no real expression to be seen there. The mobile features and bright smiles she'd once had that had so captivated him were gone, and she looked thin – unhealthy. She was dressed in dark, somber colors, and seated at the foot of the Goshinboku, with her family standing behind her – they looked as haunted as she did, and he had never hated himself more than in that moment.

She was suffering, and suddenly, he understood the Master's words – she looked as though she would welcome death as the only way she had to escape that suffering and pain.

He watched time pass, and her grandfather die, and Sota grow up and move on with his life, and yet, Kagome was stuck, trapped like a fly in amber, unable to move forward, simply existing. He saw her mother's sadness, and understood her feelings of helplessness because he shared them.

And then, he watched as she was taken, and tortured, beaten and then stabbed multiple times, a victim to an insane, murderous human male... and she didn't even fight it. She laid there, and prayed for death to take her, almost eager to get on with the dying. He screamed, then, his voice breaking the silence of the place he was in for the first time since he'd arrived... there was so much blood, and once it was over, to see her crumpled up on the ground like a bloody, broken doll that had been thrown away like so much trash was just more than he could bear.

Why? Why did the kami allow such a fate for her? he wailed, angry at the kami, at himself, and at the fates for the blasphemy he'd seen. And where is her soul? You said it was here, didn't you?

"Did you think that soul would return here to you? You sundered your fate from hers when you chose to follow Kikyou to this place – and now Kikyou no longer exists, only that which is Kagome... or once was." The Master's voice took on an almost taunting note at the horror with which Inuyasha was now looking at him. "She will wander in darkness alone, for eternity – as will you, now. Her soul is too broken to ever regain the light it once held, and destiny has now abandoned her. As has hope... for she has none. She does not even remember what hope felt like."

Inuyasha simply folded in on himself, unable to bear what he was seeing, and the knowledge that he'd been given. He wished to return to what had once been with all he was, and once again, he lost himself in his memories, completely ignoring the presence of the King of Hell – that being no longer mattered.

All that mattered was pain... and the soul of the broken hanyou curled itself around the memories of the miko that he had loved, yet abandoned, and clung to them with all his might.

It was all he had left, and he could only hope that at the very least, Kagome also had those memories to curl around for comfort, as well.

It was his last thought as he once again succumbed to the darkness and cold that surrounded him as his consciousness was snuffed out like a blown-out candle for the final time. He would not wake again.

Owari.

-oOo-

A/N: Dark, cold and angsty – I honestly don't know what's up with me lately...

Amber