The secretary buzzed his intercom, and Rufus answered. "Sir, there's someone from the Department of Administrative research here to see you," she said.

A Turk? What did they want? Had something else happened? Rufus sighed and shook his head. Then he pressed the speaker button on the intercom. "Send them in."

Rufus unlocked the door remotely, and waited. When the door opened, it wasn't who he expected at all. Reno and Rude were due to meet with him today, who was this girl. Well he knew her obviously she was the one who'd given him the report about the discovery right before…Tseng.

"Sir," she said. Rufus watched her as she approached his desk. She seemed almost…afraid. Like a bird approaching a lion. He almost laughed. What was a girl like that doing in the Turk's uniform? Then again, she did look familiar.

"Oh, yes, you're Rosalind's sister, aren't you?" asked Rufus. He watched as her expression darkened. She didn't like that all did she? Well he supposed he could understand. He would have been livid if anyone referred to him only as Lazard's brother or something like that. Although he had gotten, the President's Son as way of address over the years, and had always been quick to correct them that it was Rufus Shinra.

"Elena," she said, before quickly adding, "sir, uh…I'm Elena of the Turks."

Rufus found it amusing. She was quick tempered, he could tell. A real firecracker, but she was holding back, terrified of saying the wrong thing, walking on eggshells before his authority.

"Right," said Rufus, "so tell me, Ms. Elena of the Turks, what can I do for you? Or rather what can you do for me? I assume you have some reason for being here."

"Yes sir," said Elena. "I…I want to go after the people who killed Tseng."

"What?" asked Rufus. His tone was harsher than he'd meant it to be, and he took a breath. He didn't want to seem upset. He couldn't afford to be upset. There was too much to do now. He couldn't break down. Still, hearing his name, hearing that word…killed.

Rufus didn't think about it, not yet. Later, when he had time.

"It was AVALANCHE," said Elena, "They killed him, and I'm going to make them pay."

"Are you?" asked Rufus. He laughed, he couldn't help it, he lost himself in laughter. Tseng was dead, and this little girl was going to make them pay? Even if she could what would it matter. It wouldn't bring him back.

The girl clenched her jaws along with her fists. "Stop laughing!" she snapped.

Rufus fell silent, and fixed her in a cold gaze. She gasped and brought a hand over her mouth. An apology was on her lips, Rufus could tell, but he spoke first.

"Don't say you're sorry," ordered Rufus. He stood, coming around from the desk to approach her. "If you do, you'll be lying. I do not abide liars, especially liars under my own employ. Of course, I generally don't allow anyone to speak to me like that. Who exactly do you think you are?"

"I-"

"No," said Rufus. He raised a hand to silence her. "I know who you think you are, Elena of the Turks, right. You think you're a Turk. Well I think you're kidding yourself. A Turk would know better."

"You deserved it!" said Elena. "How can you laugh like that?" Tears rimmed the edges of her eyes and her voice cracked. "It's not funny."

"Of course not," said Rufus. It was terrible and utterly hopeless. He laughed again despite himself. The girl looked as though she were about to hit him.

"This is all a joke to you, isn't it?" asked Elena. "Why would care that he'd dead, Tseng didn't matter to you."

It was Rufus's turn to look dangerous. His voice was even, but something in his low timbre suggested barely contained rage. "You assume too much," said Rufus.

"Do I?" asked Elena. She wiped at her eyes. Her jaw was set in a hard line. Even with tears in her eyes she formidable, if anything they only made the Turk seem fiercer. "We're nothing to you, just tools to be used and discarded, and if we die, who cares. You got what you wanted."

"Stop," said Rufus. He took a sharp breath. "I didn't want Tseng to die."

"Then why did you send us on that suicide mission?" she asked, "You knew it was dangerous, if you'd sent more than just the two of us."

"If you had stayed with him like a good partner should!" countered Rufus. He was almost to her now, his eyes locked with hers in a stare down.

"I…I…I only left because he ordered me to," said Elena, "He said you had to know about what we found, and my PHS couldn't get a signal anywhere near the Temple."

"Ah yes," said Rufus. He took a deep breath and looked away. His own jaw was clenched. "I remember, you informed me as much when you called. I asked where Tseng was and told you to get back to him. But it was all ready too late by then."

"It's not my fault," said Elena.

"And it's not mine, so don't come in here blaming me," said Rufus.

"That wasn't my intention, sir," said Elena. She took a shaky breath. The girl was on the edge of sobbing. "AVALANCHE is to blame. Just let me make them pay."

"Why come to me?" asked Rufus. "I'm not your superior. Unless…you all ready asked Reno didn't you?" He turned back around to face her. "And he told you no I presume? Of course he did, it's clear you're unstable. You'll just get yourself killed."

"No!" said Elena.

She must have realized that yelling at him wasn't helping her make her case. She see took another breath and waited a moment to compose herself before speaking.

"All I'm asking is for a chance," said Elena, "please sir. And if I can't handle it, well then I'm worth much as a Turk then am I, so it's no loss to you."

Rufus's expression softened then, and he felt a rare moment of pity. "The worth of a Turk isn't measured by if they can defeat an enemy. If AVALACHE really was behind Tseng's death than it's clear they may be more than any one person can handle. That Cloud claims to have been a Soldier, he wasn't, but from the reports I've read he fights as well as any first class. Do you know what it takes to defeat a SOLDIER first class, Elena? Another Soldier first class, or failing that an army. If I let you go I would be sending you on a suicide mission."

"They have to pay," said Elena. "What do you want me to do? Just let it go? Like it doesn't even matter?" Her voice was cracked, and the words were half sobbed. Rufus took a handkerchief from his pocket and offered it to her, but she refused with a wave of her hand. "I'm fine."

"This is more than just the loss of a comrade in arms," observed Rufus. She wouldn't be this over the edge if he'd only been a partner. Upset, sure, but anyone in any military position understood that death was an occupational hazard. "You're in love with him, aren't you?"

"I…yes," said Elena, "I loved him, and I don't care who knows it or what you think of me."

He raised an eyebrow. It was obvious she cared or she wouldn't so defensive. Still, it was brazen and he hated her for it. Who was she to just declare her love; to so freely speak the words he could never could in all his years, because unlike this stupid girl Rufus had always understood that Tseng was an impossibility. How could Rufus have ever told him the things he felt?

He'd told Tseng that he was like a brother to him, the surrogate father figure guiding him through life, and it was partially true but there was more to it than that, Tseng was his advisor, his mentor, his confidant, but he was also a man Rufus had always wanted from the time he was old to want anyone. He'd never say so, it wouldn't be right to say so, or maybe he couldn't bare the thought of Tseng rejecting him or losing what they had. Well now Tseng was lost forever and Rufus would never have he chance.

"That's not the point," said Elena, interrupting Rufus's thoughts. "Tseng was…he deserves better this! He shouldn't be forgotten!"

It was hard to maintain sympathy as she leveled these actuations. On one level Rufus knew she had no idea what Tseng meant to him, or that her words were aimed right at his hear. Hell she probably thought he was a heartless bastard, everyone else did, or almost everyone. Except…the person who understood him most, who had known him all his life, who'd always been there for him and…and loved him was gone now.

"Your feelings don't matter. What you want doesn't matter. And what's fair certainly doesn't matter, because life isn't fair," said Rufus. "If you don't understand that you're nothing more than a child playing dress up in that suit and not a Turk at all. Hell, if you were half the Turk your sister was." He'd always been good at choosing words that went right to another person's heart, and petty as it was Elena had hurt him, he wanted to hurt her back.

A different sort of look came into her eyes. She'd been angry before, hurt, and half mad with grief but this was different, she looked almost dazed, like a drunk momentarily out their right mind.

Her fist connected with his face, hard enough to shatter bone. Rufus stumbled backwards, reeling from the blow and his eyes clenched shut. It was a wonder he'd managed to stay on his feet. He was aware of the pain, searing hot pain, and the suffocating scent of his own blood. Blood, he wouldn't give her the satisfaction of seeing him bleed.

He still had the handkerchief he'd offered to Elena in his hand and used it to staunch the bleeding. Rufus took a shaky breath as he tilted his head back, letting the blood flow back into his throat. Better to swallow it along with the pain.

Rufus fished in his pocket for a potion and downed it like shot, the way you have to swallow with bitter things, hard and fast. Then the relief came, the sweet tingling numbness as he felt his bones shift into place. The blood stopped. If only everything could be cured by magic, like it had never happened.

He eyed Elena, debating what to do with the girl who'd dared to lay a hand on him. Rufus folded up the bloodied handkerchief until it was small enough to stuff into the empty bottle from the potion. He pocketed the rubbish to throw away later, at the moment he had other trash to deal with at the moment.

She stood frozen as Rufus closed in on her, then raised her firsts again, but feebly. He grabbed her by the wrist and squeezed, but she didn't even struggle. Their eyes met, and Rufus saw her. He knew Elena realized what she had done, and probably realized he could have her killed for less. As Rufus gripped her wrist like a vice, she felt so breakable. Her large hazel eyes were as round as saucers; she looked so scared and sick.

A sigh escaped his lips as he released his hold on her. She was hurt, mourning, just as he was mourning. He'd practically asked her to hit him. It was what he'd needed, but no…it wasn't all he needed, or all that she needed.

Rufus pulled Elena into his arms, hugging her as he'd never hugged anyone. He held her, as he'd have liked to hold Tseng, or rather, as he'd have liked Tseng to hold him. But even as Rufus held her close, she was rigid in his arms.

Shocked and confused, probably, but it didn't matter. All the same he held her, until, eventually, she relaxed and embraced him, burying her head against his shoulder as she wept. Rufus gently stroked her hair, and let Elena cry, her tears soaking the white silk of his suit.

Moments passed and he simply held her. She was so small and soft. Her body was warm, and solid. He wanted someone to hold every bit as much as she needed to be held. He wished he could let himself cry the way she was crying, but he hadn't allowed himself to cry since he was a child. He'd been pushing down his tears for so many years that he'd forgotten how to cry. Still, it was something just to hold her now.

Once the sobbing stopped, he let her go and stepped away.

"Did hitting me make you feel any better?" he asked, managing a smile, as though the blow hadn't affected him in the least.

"Sir, I'm so-"

"What did I say about apologizing when you're not sorry?" asked Rufus. He sighed and shook his head. "If you really want to go after AVALANCHE I won't stop you," he said, "in fact you have my authorization to take a few troopers with you. Just promise me you'll back down if things get out of hand. I can't afford to lose another Turk right now? Tseng wouldn't have wanted you to throw your life away for his sake, either."

Note: This is essentially chapter 2 of "Life is Stronger Than Death" from Rufus's point of view. I wrote this first, because I couldn't figure out how to write Rufus without being in his head. I waited until now to upload this because I wanted people to see it from Elena's perspective before seeing it from Rufus's. It's unbetaed, because as much as I love my beta (love you Licorice!), I wanted to leave this as close as possible to the original version so I wouldn't have continuity issues between this and my other fic/I really wanted to just post this right now, for some reason.