(A/N) I've noticed that when authors write continuations to FFXIII it's mostly set two or three years after the fall of Cocoon , and magically everything is rebuilt into a thriving society. So this is written partly to be a bit different than that, but there is still all the intrigue, deceptions and the somewhat nonsensical conflict that we all love about the FF brand. This chapter is a bit of a long teaser. My idea for this story is mostly thought out, but it's not all written yet so I'll see what happens. It will be segregated into three parts generally. Part I is called 'the Beatniks.'

I apologize for spelling errors and typos. I'm a horrible typist so if you see some send me a message.

So here it is. If you review I'll be more inclined to hasten the next one. If you review...

The Forgotten Gods: Part I: the Beatniks

Busy Doing Nothing

It was all over by then but still some remained. And they, though once mighty, are now lost in strange world.

The sun rose and all across the white expanse the fallen gods lay decimated, lifeless and motionless in a field of death, contorted in their last moments as though they were great statues of those now departed, a fallacy of immortal titans all. One moves among them, one of few survivors of the once powerful line, sees the suffering the destruction of his fellows and offers a hoarse cry for vengeance.

Lightning was impatient, but she was always getting impatient these days. It was becoming a recurrent theme of each Monday morning: get up yet earlier to get in line, and wait yet longer to get the stipend. It wasn't too bad at first, get there at eight-thirty, wait only twenty-five to forty five minutes in the line to the converted GC drop ship, they would give her the gil and she could be on her merry way. The next week she got there ten minutes earlier, but it still about the same plus some extra. So Lightning got there twenty minutes earlier, but it was still the same plus some more extra. She finally gave up at seven a.m., but the wait still kept on getting longer.

She stepped out, only slightly, starring at the horde that was still waiting in front of her to the window. There were still over two dozen in her line alone assuming they're all separate, but it would be a bit of a prayer to hope that more than a few of them were together. And there were ten lines. She looked behind herself, half-glad she wasn't there with all those forsaken souls. The lines went all the way out of the LZ to behind Admin. Building J. She stole some glances of their faces, every one of them with more less the same amazement with their situation. Some were very old, some were very young, most were of medium of the two. All in the same gridlock she was enjoying. And they all had different names, ages, brothers, sisters, moms, dads, friends, all with some unique story of how they survived the greatest disaster in their memory. And it boggled her mind.

"Where in hell are they all coming from?" The curse was whispered, but she realized that enough people around her heard it to draw some disapproving eyes. She felt small tinge of embarrassment. But of course they all felt the same way.

Lightning leaned yet again against the short radio pole she had been standing by for the last part of eternity, glancing yet again at her left wrist to remind herself that she didn't wear a watch. It must be getting on three hours by then, maybe more, she thought, considering how bad her knees felt. She comforted herself that she was almost there, and it was only once a week, but she still fantasized about whipping out her gunblade and turning an orderly handout into a chaotic stick up. That wasn't possible though. She wasn't carrying it with her.

Her mind wandered over the circumstances of the Administration. The Civil Citizenry Admin., the CCA, that was hastily established when the Sanctum met its demise, hence the bad name. It was all made up of the few military heads and civilian officials that survived the downfall of there former home Cocoon. It ran and operated in exactly the same way, with exactly the same people. So the different name was almost wholly cosmetic. That's a cynic's viewpoint, and Lightning knew she had been falling in that camp lately. But there still was one important difference that she quickly remembered.

The orders this time were from people, not from fal'Cie.

Finally! The last of the line-goers that were ahead of her departed with their envelope of gil, and it was her turn. She reached into her side-pack attached her leg, noting the worn edge on one of the straps, and pulled out all the paper work, smoothing out some of creases so it looked a bit more presentable, and she walked up.

"Hello," the man behind the glass window said, betraying his own fatigue over the days work.

"Hi," she handed him the thin bundle of papers. He looked over them for a moment and Lightning hoped that this time he might just give her the envelope without asking her anything, but it never went that way.

"So you requested the stipend last time?"

"Yes."

"Did you spend it all?"

"No and…"

"You noted how much you didn't?"

"…Yes."

"How many in your unit?"

"Two, me and a friend."

"Are you the registered chief resident?"

"Yes I am." She shifted her weight to another leg.

"Are any of you in or in the process of joining the CCA, GC or PSICOM?"

"No we're not…" She breathed deeply.

"Okay. Just a moment." He left going into some back room.

"Yeah…" Lightning turned around leaning against the lower ledge of the window. It was same damn questions each time she did this. The same damn answers. One was a bit of lie. She was in the GC, or Guardian Corps. She quit but it wasn't formal. Although it didn't really matter. Almost all personal data from the Sanctum had been lost in the Fall. It occurred to her then, that perhaps all this work was an effort to rebuild all the data they had lost. Anyway it would only be an issue if she ran into someone that knew her, and that hasn't happened yet.

He finally returned and gave her the stipend, exactly as before. "Okay you get 459 this time. Have a good day."

"Yeah you too." Even Lightning noticed the thick layer of sarcasm on her reply, but the man didn't even bat an eye.

Lightning left the immediate vicinity as prisoner would from his jailers, or rather in her case the fermenting hordes of the former Cocoon citizenry. Why did she always opt to go? She'd really considered just leaving it, subsisting till a more efficient digital distribution system was finally in place. One had been promised to them, a few weeks prior. Lightning knew it had been a pipe dream to keep everyone's hopes up, so to speak, or maybe it was to quell some of the brooding discontent the was under all the people's skin. But there was no way they had the resources in place to do such a thing. The network that had connected everyone in a cashless secure economy went to crystal like the rest of the small moon they had lived on.

Lightning thought about this as she groped the money through the material of the envelope. It was back to the good old greenbacks. Oh joy! And of course they were passed out in pitiful quantities for fear of runaway inflation, but still everything was unaffordable. This was most certainly the wonderful life she had hoped for.

But at least she was free of that hell-waiting-on-earth, for another week at least. And she kept that on her mind as walked out of LZ, back through Bazaar District 1, only about two kilometers to go till she reached her housing unit, and her bed. Maybe next week she could wiggle out of it? It was little to much to hope for, that her "roommate" may actually wake up in time to get inline, which was an ironic use of words considering who her roommate was.

It was a long walk back, but this was something that Lightning could find some pleasure in. Bazaar District 1, or just district one as it really was first called, earned its name for an obvious reason: it had become one of the de facto consuming center for the settlement. Maybe it was because of proximity to LZ, but soon after a significant population was situated, eateries, small shops of various kinds, of course even some pubs had sprung up to service the needs of the recently-refugees. And though it was called Bazaar, it wasn't tents and carts, but decently constructed buildings of albeit crude but clever design. And no sooner had been built that the place became flooded with the residents. Lightning took some confidence from this. At least one part of society would always prosper.

It was busy and bustling though. Lightning found herself playing dodge, duck, dip, dive, and dodge again with the walking groups of people, slipping through gaps and giving quick apologizes for forcing her sharp elbows into a few passer-bys. For Lightning it was times like this that she really wished she had been a bit taller.

She was just finishing the eulogy for someone's lost pride and bruised toe, when a familiar grayish blob of hair appeared to obstruct her path.

"Hey! You're done waiting in line," Hope said, with tone of mild amazement.

"Yeah. Did you think I had gone somewhere else," she asked back.

"No, it's just that you were gone a long time."

"You're telling me about it," she checked her wrist again on instinct, only to scold herself again. "What time is it?"

"It about 11:20."

"Eleven…" She was dumbstruck; it couldn't have been that long. She grabbed his left wrist to check the timepiece he wore, and it read 11:21.

"How…" Lighting began to walk off into the crowd.

"Hey wait!" Hope said, scrambling up beside her.

"Four and a half hours…I was there at seven, before they begin handing it out and…dammit."

"I guess it was really long then, right?" he tried to join to conversation, but it was to no avail.

The storm was there.

"I swear, it's like every person just decided to go in on Monday. Who cares if they're actually scheduled for any of the other days! And they just…fucking keep coming!"

"Eh." Hope couldn't help but just grin sheepishly as the expletive caught the attention of most people around them.

"I'm spending half day just get a stipend. Like I have nothing else to do!"

"Well Light, what exactly else to you have to do?" Hope asked at his peril.

"Hey!" She grabbed hold of the front of his shirt in her fury, glaring into the kid's eyes and Hope winced. "Huh," she sighed, releasing him just as quickly as she had seized him.

"Sorry. It's just a headache every week." She began to walk again.

"I could go next week," Hope chimed in.

Lightning appreciated it but knew it was futile. "You're always asleep at the time to go." She smiled.

"I'll get up. Anyway I have an alarm on this thing," he retorted, while looking down to twiddle with his watch.

"It's alright. I can deal."

"How much did we get this time?" Hopes asked.

"The same as last time. Here," she tossed him the envelope.

"459 that's more than last time."

"Two gil more, and it probably just an accounting error. Those guys are doing it for over three hundred thousand people."

"Yeah, but it's still more," Hope still kept the optimism in his voice.

"Sure."

They walked quietly for a bit, Lightning slightly ahead as Hope walked beside, occasionally stealing glances, trying to get a sense of what was going in the former soldier's mind. It was a bit awkward, but somewhat normal. Neither them were much for small talk, or very good at it. But simple ideas are often the best ones.

"Hey," Lightning stopped as Hope walked around her to see what was looking at. "What do you say we get lunch here?"

Hope looked. It was a new place called Runaway Girl. Had a bit of a modern exotic theme that just seemed odd to Hope. There was just something presumptuous about the way the tables were set, or something like that.

"Uh, you don't think it looks too pricey?" He asked.

"Not really," Lightning responded nodding to a small chalk sign at the entrance. Lunch buffet 2 gil per table.

"Hey imagine that. Lady luck's sure on our side right? Ha!" He said excitedly running to get a table.

"Yeah, sure is." Lady luck brought back some somber memories. Lightning turned around to catch a quick glimpse at the monument, the crystallized remains of her former home, a site of lost dreams and of lost friends. Lightning kept it short though, running in after him remembering that he had all their money for the next week.

As a rule with cheap meals, and Lightning had experience, one shouldn't expect much. But this was one time at least that she could ignore it with impunity. For two gil, they were treated to a lot freshly filet fish spiced and prepared in ways Lightning never knew existed, some thinly cut and seasoned potatoes baked with cheeses into a nice casserole, plenty of rice's, stir fry and even a few deserts. It was actually among the better meals they had eaten in last several weeks, where they been at the mercy of mostly street vendors when Lightning wasn't cooking, or attempting cooking.

"This is great," Hope commented for the third time, as he went to get another helping of the beef stir fry, and Lightning was beginning to wonder if they were maybe over-eating their buffet privilege. They were hungry, and she was wanting some more of seasoned chicken, or whatever meat it was, she had discovered, but still. Best to leave a good tip.

Food was never much of an issue on Cocoon. Though they were captives of the magic wielding fal'Cie, they were well feed and content captives. Even the so-called homeless had plenty and more. Not an empty pot anywhere, even in the army. One could get by greatly without any culinary skills whatsoever. This was all out the door with the New Dawn. Finding something to eat for every mouth of few million refugees was no small task when civilization's entire infrastructure had collapsed with the fal'Cie. Lightning new how to cook, a little bit. Her repertoire was small, and not especially balanced but she and Hope weren't confined to starve or suffer meals that had gone terribly awry. Hope surprising knew some simple preparations as well, though not too far beyond the range a grilled cheese sandwich. With the small stipend that they received they also were limited in the quantity prepared items they could obtain, limited to more raw, Pulsian fruits and meats. But after all they had been through, they were at least used to it. Besides when things became too tight, they mooched off Serah and Snow in their unit.

Nevertheless, the quality of the food was enough that Lightning nearly forgot all about the trouble she had had that morning, and for the first time in a few days was thoroughly sated of her hunger. Hope especially was grateful, and kept going for more long after Lightning lost her appetite.

"Ah. This is great Lightning," he said yet again.

"Yeah, you've told me," she said chuckling as he began to put away his second desert.

"We should tell everyone about this! I mean," he took another bite, "where else are they going to find cheaper meals for less?"

"Yeah well, it's probably just promotional. I'd be surprised if it lasts that long."

"Still, we could get everyone here for lunch. And we'd all only spend two gil total."

"I don't think the owner would appreciate that very much."

"Yeah but…" he made a gargled noise and began to cough, as he had choked on the piece of desert he had place in his mouth.

Lightning turned her head away and covered her mouth, doing her very best to hide the wide grin that was forming there. She pushed his drink toward him. "Here have some water for that throat."

Hope did so, proceeding to empty the entire content of the glass in one drink. Lightning watched and could not contain her giggles anymore. The charm of the moment was just too much. After all the strife this grayed young man had experience at least some normalcy was there, the charms and excitement of the uneventful kind. Even though they had lost everything, moments such as these could make them feel as though they had gained much more than that.

"So Light," the words shook her out of her daze.

"Yeah what?"

"Just what are you going to do the rest of today?"

"Oh," she responded, sitting back her chair. It was a question she was hoping to avoid, but also knew it had to come up. It was the same question they asked themselves everyday this arrived and were settled in the cozy Units. What is there to do everyday when all to do has turned to crystal?

"Lightning?" Hope said when she trailed off.

"I don't know Hope. I hadn't really planned anything beyond this morning," she responded, putting her head and starring into the sky, hoping for some divine intervention

"Oh. I was just wondering. I don't really have much to do either."

"Hm," that was the situation. There were only so many options in a refugee colony. Rebuilding, and more rebuilding, that's what the Sanctum was doing day in and day out. Again and again in a tedious cycle.

"You know it's impressive," Hope remarked.

"What?" Lightning asked, as she was only half paying attention.

"What the Sanctum has done. Or…I guess the CCA. It's impressive how much they've built so fast."

Lightning glanced around at the structures of Bazaar 1, they looked at then at the fairly sizable Administration buildings and then at the under construction apartments and Civic Center toward the edge of the settlement, not the mention the hundreds of thousands of the Units, or Utility Non-Permanent Shelter, to house the few million people that were ready in under a month. It was a lot considering the barely three months since the fall of Cocoon. One could say it was even miraculous.

"Yeah I guess," she agreed.

"I just wonder how, you know?"

"What?"

"It just, seems like it was too quick. Like they knew it would happen," Hope responded.

Knew. The word resonated in her mind for moment. Maybe they did? But how was a harder question. The fal'Cie knew Cocoon would be destroyed, but why would they care to make preparations for the people they were sacrificing? It was a puzzling question.

"Yeah. It does make you think that someone in the Sanctum knew Cocoon might be destroyed. But…who knows Hope? Maybe we're just not giving PSICOM enough credit?"

"Well, I just think it's strange," Hope relented.

"It's all strange Hope. Three months seems like lifetimes ago. I can't even imagine what it would've been like otherwise," she, almost to herself. Fate, it was the least favorite of subjects. The Fall and the events the precedent it, the Purge, the War of Transgression, and the fact that she had decided to stay in Bodhum all those years ago; it was the convergence of these and multiple small threads that sealed their doom, that made them l'Cie and bound them to destiny. It was all strange, all special, if even the smallest thing had been different their lives would be changed for all time. Three months ago she felt as if she had conquered her destiny, become the master of her fate. But it's incredible how fast that feeling can fade.

"I've been thinking," Hope said after a few moments, and Lightning could read the reluctance in his tone.

"Yeah."

"Um, well I think maybe…now that all the fal'Cie are gone that I might…uh," Hope's eyes suddenly became evasive, looking at everything except Lightning, "…you know…join the army."

Lightning waited a moment, making sure she had understood his choppy sentence correctly.

"Oh." She couldn't think of much to say. She didn't really understand the reason for this. Did he feel like he needed her permission? "Does this have something to do with me?"

"No!" he blurted out. "No it's just been on my mind for awhile now. I mean the fal'Cie are all gone now, and I already know how to fight so…" he said eying her for some sort of reaction.

"You'll do fine Hope," she said.

"Really?" he asked, simultaneously knocking some of his silver were on the floor.

Lightning rolled her eyes. "Yes Hope. I'm not just saying. Trust me, the army isn't as tough and brutal as they make themselves out to be. You've already been through a lot more than most."

"Yeah. And I also feel like I need to do something, to, you know, help make things right."

Lightning half admired the naïve the sentiment of his. At least he wasn't becoming cynical like she was. "Don't get too worked up yet. You got a few years to go before they'll let you join."

"I know. It's seventeen right? The age?"

She nodded. "And six months."

Hope took the correction with little trace of disappointment. "How old were you we joined the Guardian Corps?"

"I," it was a natural question. Still Lightning wasn't quite up to talk about herself at that moment. "I was eighteen. It wasn't long after I left school."

"Yeah," was Hope replied with a distant tone.

Lightning understood exactly where he was coming from. During the last three months they had all been busy doing nothing. There was some excitement over the 'upcoming' wedding, however with the whole world upside down the date has been pushed to whenever. At first it was a pleasant reprieve, but it wasn't long before the long days started to merge into each other, and time itself seemed to fly but at the same instant stand completely still. She was beginning to feel anxious about it, and apparently Hope was feeling the same. Lightning regretted that there just wasn't much she could do about it.

"Now that I am thinking about it, have you heard from your dad yet?" she changed the subject.

Hope seemed a bit reluctant to answer. "Uh no. Well not since last week. He's still in Settlement D, as far as I know. He said he would call soon as he could, but the lines keep going down."

"Well it's not so easy to rebuild a communications network for a few million people. Plus D is pretty far away from here," she pondered.

"You think all the creatures out there are taking down the lines?"

"Maybe, but for all we know it could be another fal'Cie not fond of the way we're changing the landscape."

"Yeah, well since when do listen to them?" Hope said jokingly.

"Right. Well, by the time they get the transit systems up, they should be done with most of the housing. I'll bet your dad will be able to get you guys one of the first ones," Lightning said off hand.

"Uh…" There was the sound of something crashing in the restaurant that her Lightning's attention for a moment. "Yeah, but who knows when they'll finally finish all of them right?"

Lightning got sense that he was going to say something else, but she couldn't help but keep glancing toward the source of the noise. Maybe her instincts were just acting up?

Well anyway they had been there long enough.

"Well I'm satisfied. You ready?" she asked.

"Yeah. Are we just going back?"

"Somewhere else you want to go?"

"Oh, nah. Not really."

"You sure?"

"Ah, well…" Hope scratched the back of his head in an almost cookie-cutter display of indecisiveness.

"Do you not want to tell me?"

"No…well actually, Maqui and Yuj invited me to go sight seeing," Hope said sheepishly.

"Sight seeing? Where abouts?" Lightning asked.

"Um…I don't know. I'm actually not sure if that's what they're really doing," Hope admitted.

Lightning wasn't surprised. In many ways those two were typical juveniles. Of all of Snow's compatriots she trusted them the least. But Snow wouldn't let them haul Hope of to anywhere overly dangerous. Plus, Hope wasn't exactly helpless, not after all they had been through.

"Go Hope."

"What"

"I said 'go.' You've been help up inside for the last few days. You should get out. Have some fun," she realized how much like a parent she was sounding at that moment.

"Yeah but…what are you gonna do?"

"I'll be fine Hope. Don't worry."

"You sure?"

"Yes. Go," she feigned some annoyance and Hope seemed to get the picture.

"Uh, okay. We should be back before dark, I think at least."

"Okay," she said and Hope began to walk away towards the south of the settlement. Lightning watched his hesitant progress, waiting for him around, which he did just after a few steps.

"Uh Lightning. About before…um about moving back in with my dad, it's not that I don't want to but…it's just that I've liked living with you…for past few months. It's been fun…I'm mean it."

Lightning's face hung frozen for a moment. She had wondered why reacted that way, but she didn't think that would be the reason. She felt her cheeks grow a bit flushed. It been a while since she had gotten compliment with such sincerity.

"Me too Hope. I've had fun too. Thanks."

"Okay, I'll see ya later," he said, this time running off toward… well wherever he was going.

"See ya," she was really speaking to herself, as Hope was already well outside of earshot.

The seeming recklessness with which he still ran made her rethink the wisdom of an outing with Yuj and Maqui, especially if there wasn't someone going to semi-supervise the lot. But, what of it? She wasn't his mother, and he was as old as she was when she began to off on her own. Lighting took some satisfaction in that fact, and the fact that he was making friends, getting outside now and then, and starting a new life for himself. She was doing a mighty fine job as his sort of "steward," and why not have some pride about that?

Still, she never really did give him an answer to that question: what was she going to do now?

All the world seemed to go by. She stood in the middle of a "street" crossing and took some stock of the hundreds of people milling about in the throng. Most of them were with someone, or several someones. Most were talking, laughing or holding on as to not lose each other. There were obvious fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, best friends and buddies, boyfriends and girl friends, and many more entire households.

What exactly did she have? There was of course her sister, but Serah's renewed romance made things somewhat awkward when she was with them. At least she felt a bit awkward. It was the same is she was wife Sazh and his son, and it was even that somewhat with Hope. The invisible wall that seemed to surround her was all too familiar. It was something Lightning had tired to leave behind, many times. But whether in the form of austerity or shyness, it just seemed to always find its way back to her.

In times like this she missed the rigorousness of the day to day in the GC. But would really be any different?

Still, why wallow in that funk? The blues were always something better sounding we one was alone. And Lightning began to rest of the two kilometers back to her unit.

The grueling-ness of the walk back at least took some of her anxiety away. The Sun had seemed to reach its zenith and just hang like an annoying fly, one in the perfect position so that she would get minimal shade. And of course in the cool of the morning she had overdressed, and was now sweating into the recently cleaned cotton of the worn sweater vest she wore. It already had a bit of an odor. Still she kept the pace high despite the discomfort. She was tougher than this. Normally she would've at least jogged the distance, and she certain she do a dead sprint long enough to reach her unit. Well, maybe not the whole 2k. Her heart rate slightly up and fresh perspiration on her forehead, the relative coolness of the living room was quite welcome.

She went atop the platform, to her door, key inserted, pin entered, door closed, sweater off over a chair, and her ass on the couch as she began to remove her footwear, since her feet by that point of the day were bathed in salty-sweat. They were soon thrown a few meters away, and there is something pleasurable about the feel of carpet on tired bare feet.

Lightning stretched her arms over her head, spreading out her legs, and sinking down in her chair as she did so. With small amount of soreness from standing all day, the action felt heavenly. Lightning let gravity have its way and fell into lying down on the couch. She felt the bulge of the stipend in her satchel, and quickly removed the entire apparatus and placed it roughly on the coffee table before her. All the business of the day was done, she didn't need to have it on anymore. She could relax without fear of consequence; have the only business be the business of doing nothing. And there was nothing to fear in the coming morning.

Lightning looked at the sparse room before, at the few belongings of herself and Hope scattered around. Yes there was nothing to fear, but there was also nothing to look forward too.

"Ahh." Lightning pushed herself up, suddenly bored with the relaxed posture she had taken. She should try to be somewhat productive. Surely there was something she could be doing. Something that could engross her for the rest of the day; something that would after some time benefit her greatly, that she would back upon and be glad she went to the trouble. But like usual the room was as plane as ever.

The units weren't much to begin with. The basic design included a small living area in front, with just enough room for some nominal pieces of furniture. Most came with a television, but there was no broadcast, beyond infrequent announcements by the CCA. There was a stripped down kitchen attached to living area, small hallway connected to two small bedrooms. Small, meaning there was enough room to walk in, lie down, get up and out and not really anything else. Some other versions had a single large bedroom for two, but theirs was the "bachelor" version. A single shower and toilet flanked the ends of the hallway, each next to a sink. That was it.

So what to do?

Lightning looked around enough to convince herself there was indeed nothing of worth, and fell back into laying down, feeling yet more defeated than before. She would just have to find someway to kill the time, and where was that going to come from?

There was something. Well, it would be hard for Lightning to call it something. She got up and fished them out from the disorder of her room. It was just a couple of books, beach reading really, even though they weren't anywhere near a beach since the whole world came to Pulse. She and Hope had chanced by a sort of yard sale, where some vendors where selling off thousands of titles that had survived somehow and made it down to Pulse, at dirt cheap prices too. She guessed that probably the doing the new CCA, trying to give something back to despaired people of Cocoon. Well, she wasn't complaining.

She brought all of them with her to the couch, reading over the covers. She didn't know any of the titles very well, other than they were bestsellers so they must have a little entertainment value. She had chosen them almost circumspectly. She never really bought books for pleasure that often, or almost ever. Unless it was for some manual that she needed, she almost never went into bookstores. Well whatever, it was only to pass the time.

So she picked one up, no better than others and began to read. This one concerned a female protagonist, a sort of run-of-mill romantic comedy. Girl hates life, girl meets boy, girl loses boy, life-changing revelations ensue—breathtaking. At least that was the plot Lighting extrapolated from reading the first five pages. She moaned over a miserable job, and looked forlornly on an equal miserable future, with each event of the day compounding it into a never ending nightmare. Lightning could relate to that. She had transportation issues commuting to her place of work. Lightning could relate to that too. But all the despair over trifle annoyances, that made Lightning want to punch the fictional character.

Even with the pedestrian storyline, Lightning forced herself to keep reading, determined to at least use up an hour with this. And besides it might get better once the exposition is done. Maybe then there be some sort of plot developing, instead of a host of character studies. But after awhile Lightning found herself glancing at her bare wrist again.

Lighting tossed the book aside with a resounding sigh, and went into a nice decrescendo ending with the word, "Fuck."

She was never much of a reader anyway. Her mother was the one with the gene. Serah got it in spades, but not her. It wasn't that she hated stories, but there was something too un-stimulating about reading that she wasn't able to stand. She counted her blessings that she had the wisdom to join the army for her career. Well, she did have the wisdom, once upon a time in Cocoon.

Still there was the question, what was she going to do?

Lightning flipped onto her back still lying on the couch. There wasn't much reason to get up. There were the other books she had but she doubted they would be anymore stimulating than the first. So what?

She could go out, of course. But to where? Visit Snow and Serah, maybe? Sazh and Dajh, probably not. Go out alone to one of the bars, definitely not. There was a lot she could do, the real question was what she wanted.

What did she want for herself? The answer to that was not forthcoming to say the least. It was a question that was not localized to that day even. What about tomorrow? She had not appointments or plans. What was she going to do? What about the day after that? What about two weeks from now? What about a year, where did she see her life going a year from then, a year from lounging about on her couch on her temporary emergency housing? Was all that she had worked for, was all the strife she had gone through from batting gods to defying fate, was that all going to end in a life of early retirement at the age of twenty-one?

Lightning knew that wasn't going to be the case. Somehow, by chance or by design it was going to change for her. She thought of all the myriad of ways, all the things she could do in New World of Pulse. She kept herself busy enough that she didn't even notice that she was falling asleep.

The room seemed a lot brighter, that was the first thing that occurred to her. The wall across seemed ablaze with the reflection from the Sun. Lightning rolled over to her back to it, feeling the moist cloth of her shirt stick her with all the sweat it had absorbed. It was altogether just unpleasant. Enough to tell her it was time to wake up.

"Crap," she complained to herself.

From the way the sunlight shown she could tell that she had been asleep for at least several hours, around four was best she could tell without a watch. Yet she didn't feel rested at all, just a bit miserable. Her head ached slightly, and she felt incredibly thirsty. She hated when this sort of thing happened.

Several cups of water later, she felt a bit better though still very slimy with the layer of sweat that coated her body. She didn't adjust the AC before she fell asleep. She didn't like to use it that much because the CCA charged for excess use of utilities. But it was fiendishly hot in the unit, and she just wasn't going to take it this time. She punched in a reasonable temperature and listened to hum of the fans as the air conditioner became operational. One of the few redeeming aspects of the units, the AC was quick to work.

She took a seat at the small table, away from the window and the sun, sipping her fifth cup of water. She still felt rotten. How could she have let herself sleep for so long? She hadn't felt that lazy in a long time, and she didn't like it.

She pouted with her despair for a few minutes, when the light hum of electrical motors of the air conditioning was interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Great," she muttered. Not that she was against company but she didn't exactly feel presentable. No time to check.

Lightning opened the door half expecting to see Hope standing there. He did misplace his key often, or even his pin combination, so it was usually him. Lightning was half surprised to find instead Lebreau standing there, one of Snow's compatriots. Why in hell was she there?

"Hey neighbor," she said with so much cheerfulness that Lightning's headache got worse for a moment.

"What?"

Lebreau looked Lightning over a moment and seemed to understand. "Oh…sorry. I just thought come by to visit. We live so close together now but we hardly ever talk."

"Okay," Lightning replied. They did live close together; Lightning recalled talking about that with her some months before. She had completely forgotten it.

"Maybe I should've called in first."

"It's fine. I was…I wasn't doing anything." It was the truth.

"Okay well," she held up a couple of bottles of chardonnay and a pair of glasses in bag. "I got booze. You look like you could use some."

Lightning almost laughed. She hadn't looked at herself in the mirror but she could the tangled mess that was on top of her head. And this time looks were right, she was feeling like a mess. It wasn't her habit to relax via drinking but…why not?

"Sure," she propped open the door wide, allowing for easy entry.

"So this is your place. You know it looks exactly like mine, except it's switched," Lebreau said while putting the contents of the bag onto the table.

"Yeah I guess," Lightning said.

"Yeah," Lebreau smiled in agreement. She pulled out the glasses filling two and handing one to Lightning.

"Thanks."

"Don't worry about it. So might I ask what've you been up to? You look really frazzled Light."

"Um, not really anything. I just fell asleep on the couch."

"Oh yeah. Well that explains the bed hair." She took a sip of the chardonnay. "Drink up. C'mon I didn't pour that glass just so you could hold it."

Lightning had just been holding it. But whole scene in mind, two girls with two large bottles of wine holding two full glasses, all made her feel a bit, well, slutty. Especially with way Lebreau chose to dress. But it wasn't like anyone was watching, so why not be daring?

She put her head back and took a bug swig of the glass. It was bitter, just like most alcohol. Her throat seemed to sizzle as it went down her throat. And almost immediately her head "buzzed," and her checks flushed with color. It was just a bit more intense than she was ready for, and couldn't help but cough at the end of it. She really didn't drink that much.

Lightning looked up to see Lebreau clapping her hands while trying to suppress her laughter. "I think we have a winner! You can take it slow Light, we're not having a race."

Lightning tried, but couldn't help the embarrassment. She knew how red her usually pale checks must look at that moment. "I don't really drink that much."

"Yeah I figured, since you're looking after Hope. Though I can't say I wasn't drinking at his age. Where is he anyway?"

"He went out with Yuj and Maqui someplace."

Lebreau rolled her eyes. "Oh." She took an even larger gulp of the wine than Lightning. "Well I'm sure they won't get into too much trouble. Hope I mean. The other two will be lucky if they don't break anything."

Lightning took a sip. "Are they reckless?"

"Not really reckless, but more…stupid. I'm not trying to worry you though. They'll be fine," Lebreau said finishing off the rest of her glass.

Lightning wasn't sure she believed her. "Okay," taking a sip of her own glass. She was beginning to get used to it.

"Here," Lebreau said, "you're almost done with that." She filled Lightning's glass to full again.

"Thanks," she said observing all the alcohol. "Um how much did this cost?"

"The chardonnay? Oh, didn't actually cost me anything. I was buying some glass-wear from this guy in Bazaar and he just threw it in. Said he didn't want it."

"Oh."

"Yeah it was cool. Anyway alcohol isn't that actually that expensive. You can get a couple of bottles wine like these for under thirty gil. It's one of the few things they actually have a lot of."

"Really?" Lightning wasn't sure she believed that either. But she didn't really do much shopping.

"Yeah I'm serious. It's all the other stuff I'm having problems with. Mixes, fruits, glasses, hard wear, all that is a huge headache," Lebreau lamented.

"I get that," Lighting commented. It seemed everyone was a bit frustrated with something. "So you're trying to rebuild your place?"

"Hell yeah. I'm not going to let the end of the world screw me over, right?" She held up her glass to Lightning's.

Maybe it was the alcohol, but Lightning found it funny. "Cheers," she replied, and they both emptied the rest into their stomachs.

"Overall it's going well," Lebreau continued. "Once everything settles down the only thing to do is to scout out a new location. It won't nearly be the same as Bodhum though."

"Well you can't just build a beach," Lightning commented.

"Yeah, yeah. We're on Pulse now. We got that memo right."

"Right."

"Who knows where the ocean even is on this place?" Lebreau added, while taking a sip.

"If there even is one."

Lebreau laughed. "Yeah right. Cheers to that."

They emptied their glasses again.

"Oh," Lebreau began while refilling their glasses. "I guess I should tell you. Snow's saying it's definitely going to be the end of August. You know…" She waved her hands in the air.

"Okay. Just like it was definitely going to be the end of May, or the end of June?"

"Yeah, I know. But he's sure this time. Even more sure than usual."

"I don't see how that's possible," Lightning remarked, causing Lebreau to spit out some of her chardonnay.

"Yeah. Don't worry this time it's much more thought out. By then they'll have the transit lines up between the settlements and the people will be able to move into actual places to live. It'll be much easier to plan things once everything is a little more...uh..." Lebreau grasped for the word, "permanent."

Lightning looked deep into the swirling liquid in her glass. "Sure. I'll just wait for Serah to call me."

"Oh come on. She's your sister. You're going to be a big part of this."

"I'm not exactly a wedding planner," Lightning took another sip.

"So, like the rest of us are? You can still help Light. Besides Serah will want to know what you think."

"I don't know about that," Lightning said, then drank a bit more while looking down at the floor.

Lebreau rolled her eyes. "She will. She does. Honestly the both of you should talk to each other a bit more. Actually get to know your younger sister…"

"After the honeymoon. Maybe," Lightning added.

Lebreau gave up trying to convince her. "Drink your wine!" She ordered, and they both laughed.

Lightning finished her glass, placing it on the table.

"More please," as Lightning spoke she involuntary belched, smelling the alcohol she had just downed on her breath. Normally she didn't balk at that short of thing, but she didn't help but cover her mouth as the embarrassment washed over her.

Lebreau looked perfectly bemused but then chuckled. "Well I think we can say officially that you're drunk. Already too we haven't been drinking that long."

Lightning felt a bit defensive at first. "I'm not," but even she could the slight slur that was beginning to appear in her speech. And from the way Lebreau starred at her and the general "fuzziness" she was feeling she knew the truth. The sun hadn't even totally set yet. "Well, I'm not that bad."

"Yeah," Lebreau sassed.

Lightning suddenly felt like turning the tables. "Hey you've had just as much as me."

"Sure but I have more tolerance."

"Bullshit."

Lebreau smiled widely. "Alright then…" She poured the rest of the open bottle equally in both their glasses. "We're done with this handle." She then reached down and picked up the second, slightly larger chardonnay. "First one to toss it?"

Lightning was positively glowing with excitement at the challenge. This reminded her of the old days in GC. It must be the alcohol. "What does the winner get?"

"How about the loser had to say something humiliating to Hope when he gets back?"

Lightning was bit suspicious but also intrigued. "Say what?"

Instead of saying it, Lebreau took a pen from her waist pocket and grabbed a sheet of paper from a pile of disarrayed forms from the trashcan, wrote it on the back and showed it to Lightning, who closed her eyes and shook her head. Why did she think of that?

"Okay," Lightning agreed.

"Let's drink to it," Lebreau offered. And they chipped their glasses and gulped down the whole contents of their glasses. It stun her stomach a little, but Lightning was ready fro the long haul.

"More?" Lebreau asked.

Lightning nodded. "How many brain cells are we going to kill doing this?"

Lebreau laughed while pouring the wine. "Not enough."

It lasted a few hours. Several hours in fact. They started out fast, a few downing whole glasses but they both slowed it down, lest they become the one to get sick first. They started to reminisce of old times in Cocoon. School stories, stories of drunks in the bar, stories of Lebreau drinking, stories of Lighting drinking (little bit) with the Guardian Corps, story of when Lightning caught Serah drinking, many stories of Snow drinking, anything really to do with drinking was all told, punctuated by a few dirty jokes.

One Lightning particularly liked as Lebreau told it:

"Oh crap, we had this girl to that used to come in bar. Well, we used to say if this girl was a road sign it would say 'Open Trench.'" Lightning laughed for almost half an hour.

Another favorite:

"I was tending, not that long ago, one of our regulars was just completely shitfaced. Anyway this woman, who you know is pretty…big, walks up to the bar and he looks at her and just shouts to the entire bar 'Man the harpoons!'" Lightning almost cried.

The whole even seemed to fly by, spiraling downwards in an endless array of conversations, laughter, and booze, till it left the both of them slumped in their chairs near empty glasses in front of them, both ready to pass out, toss their stomach contents or both at the same time.

"Okay…maybe this was a little stupid," Lebreau said drunkenly at one point, Lightning remembered.

"Yeah." Lightning thought it was a bit of an understatement. She's felt extreme exhaustion in her life a few times in her life, but she couldn't remember ever feeling that spent, or head so, well, 'ballooned.' She still felt like she should drink the rest of glass though and did.

Lebreau did the same. Then poured the rest of the chardonnay into both their glasses. "Well we're done with this handle. I thought…that I had another one though," she commented looking around under the table.

"That was the other one," Lightning reminded her.

"Oh that's right. Ha this was a bit stupid of us."

"I heard you the first time," Lightning replied, and both giggled like the drunken girls they were.

"So when's Hope supposed to get home?" Lebreau asked.

Lightning had almost forgotten about him. She suddenly began to get worried. Didn't he say he was going to be back by now?

"He said by dark. I wonder what happened?"

"Yeah that's those two. They're fine. I bet they ended up going riding with Gadot, or something like that. Snow might be with them too. He'll probably be back late."

"Yeah," even in her drunkenness, she still felt confident that Hope was okay. He's been out alone in Pulse before. He'll stay safe. She wasn't so sure about herself though. She eyed the trash can in the corner. She didn't feel that bad yet, that could change very quickly.

It wasn't so bad though, she philosophized to herself. What was going to be a quiet, tedious and above uneventful evening turned out to be a lot of fun, at least so far. Lebreau and her turned out to be much more alike then she had ever thought before. Though she was sure the alcohol had something to do with that. But it didn't change the fact that they had laughed the hours away together. In truth she was a bit envious of Lebreau. The reason why was because Lebreau seemed to have a plan. She knew what she was going to do the next day. She new what she was gong to do the next week. She had goal in other words and that was the thing Lightning was lacking. That was the thing she wanted most at that moment, something to work toward, something to gain from all the time wasted.

Lightning didn't know but the all the self-examination was appearing on her face, and despite the booze Lebreau took notice.

"Hey! What has you down? Sadness isn't allowed during these things," she mumbled loudly.

Lightning as always downplayed it initially. "Nothing."

"Bullshit," Lebreau retorted.

"I'm fine," Lightning tried again.

"No. You're thinking about something, something and that something's got to go down. But we're drunk so you have to talk about your problems. It's a rule."

The reasoning sounded good to Lightning. "I…" It seemed clear in her mind, but the words to describe it were suddenly hard to come by. "I don't what to do?"

"Oh," Lebreau said sagely. "It's about a guy or…"

"No," Lightning groaned, wringing her hands through her hair. "I mean…you have your place and NORA and Snow has Serah and…and…."

"Oh you're having a pseudo-midlife crisis!"

"Yeah!" Agreed at first but then on second thought she was no where close to middle age. "No…sort of. I don't what I want to do anymore. I used to but…it's all gone now."

"No it's not. Come on Light, you're a soldier. You protected your sister," Lebreau reminded her.

"She doesn't need me. Not anymore," Lightning said with such sadness that Lebreau was tongue-tied for a moment.

"Oh course she does. She's not married yet…and still what makes you think she doesn't need you?"

"She's got Snow."

"Yeah, buy you're her sister. You've known her since birth. You saw her walk for the first time, and all that crap. Snow didn't. Plus he's a guy. You know they don't know anything right?"

Lightning couldn't help but laugh at that. "Yeah but…"

"But what? I don't mean this that way it sounds, but you have bigger balls than any I know. And that's saying something."

Lightning had to put her head in hands at that comment. "Yeah that does sound a little weird."

"I mean it Lightning…well not in that way! Ahhhhh! Let me ask you something okay?"

"Okay."

"Okay. Why'd you become a soldier in the first place?"

"Uh," Lightning groaned again. It felt so long ago, three years. Whole worlds had literally come to an end in that time. Everything was so different back then. She was so different. "I was…protecting Serah, I guess."

"Yeah, but is that it? You didn't have to become a soldier to do that."

"Uh," Lightning felt like she was being grilled. Intense thought and copious amounts of wine were not doctor recommended combinations. "I don't know, I…mmmh," she sort of had an answer but she didn't like it that much. "I wanted to be strong."

"For Serah?"

"Yeah but…also just to be strong. I don't know. I liked the idea of being a tough person. Being a soldier. Being someone that's professionally tough…A that's sounds stupid." And it really did sound stupid.

"I know what you mean," Lebreau said, but Lightning still felt her point wasn't getting across.

"Just…I like knowing how to fight. I like being able to handle myself. And I like advancement...I'm a terrible person."

"No you're not. You're a great person, by any standard," Lebreau complimented very fiercely.

Lightning felt her face get just little more red. "Thanks."

"You're welcome! And I have a solution," she proclaimed.

"What?"

"You should rejoin the Guardian Corps."

"No," Lightning said immediately, almost like a kneejerk reaction.

"Why not?"

"I—they won't let me. I can't, not with the l'Cie thing."

"You're not a l'Cie anymore. Your mark's gone."

"Yeah but…ah…I've killed people. I mean…I fought against them. They're not going to let someone who's done that rejoin."

Lebreau put her head back over the edge of her chair, taking a deep breath. "Let me tell you something. No one remembers any of you. And the Purge, everyone just wants to pretend the whole thing didn't happen. It's pretty much common knowledge that the fal'Cie were using us. So everyone pretty much just wants to forget the past. Trust me, I was labeled a possible l'Cie, and no one in CCA or anything has said a thing when placed an order the other day. Most of the records were lost and those that weren't they've been destroyed. No one cares anymore. No one wants to care anymore."

Lightning had to look anyway from Lebreau's eyes. In one way or another she what Lebreau was saying. It was plain that no one cared about Pulse l'Cie when everyone was living on Pulse. Her face and Hope's had been broadcasted to everyone in Cocoon yet no one had recognized them were ever they went. They were all anonymous. But she was still afraid, that was the truth. After all the laws she had broken, after the god defying quest she had undertaken, she was afraid to go through all that again. It was right at this moment that she realized the contradiction she was harboring: she craved action and adventure, but she was too frightened to seek it out. Hypocrisy was never something she was okay with.

Lebreau noticed the rapid thought going through mind. "Hey I don't mean you have to make up your mind now. I mean…we're really drunk. Just think about it okay?" Lebreau asked raising her class containing the last o f the chardonnay.

Lightning still felt a bit uneasy, uncertain. But she didn't have to make a decision. That at least was mildly comforting. She raised her glass to Lebreau's. "Okay."

"Okay!" And they both drank the last drink, the final nail in the coffin, because Lightning's head and stomach were telling her that the night was about to die. It was definitely the most painful one of the night, but the last one is supposed to go down hard right?

They both gagged and coughed after that one. Lightning found herself laying her head down on the table. She raised it enough to say to Lebreau, "I don't think you should drive home tonight."

"Ha! Yeah, I think we past that point a long time ago. Oh crap…" She joined Lightning with her head on the table for a few moments before looking up at Lightning, who for the first time saw how bloodshot Lebreau's eyes were. "Guess I'm going to be sleeping on your couch for a few hours."

Lightnin then felt the need to be hospitable. "No! You can have my bed. The sheets have just been cleaned. Here." She got up to walk, but lost balanced as her foot was caught in the chair leg sending her into the wall. She could hear Lebreau laughing behind her.

"Yeah. Someone's had a bit too much," she getting up. But it only took one step before she fell into Lightning, the both of them of ending up against the wall. This time it was the table leg.

"Someone else has had bit too much," Lightning retorted. The giggles continued as they made their wall in a series of stumbles to Lightning's small bedroom, where they both fell onto the bed.

"Dammit Light, you could've at least bought me dinner first," Lebreau commented.

Lightning tried desperately not to dignify that with a laugh, as she strenuously tried to get herself up. "Go to sleep."

"Sorry, I had to. Good night!" Lebreau said to Lightning as she closed the door behind her.

It wasn't easy walking. After sitting down for several hours and getting deep into inebriation Lightning's legs felt as sturdy as jello walking the couple of meters back to the living area. She made it to doorway where she braced herself after almost falling. She huddled against it for a moment, letting out the laugh she had held in from Lebreau's joke. That prompted her to think of all the others she had told that evening and that kept her laughing against the wall for several minutes.

She eventually made across the room, where she let herself fall like recently cut tree onto the couch, just like she had earlier that day. Lying down the muddled-ness suddenly amplified. It seemed she could almost feel the pressure of the blood as it rushed through her brain with every heartbeat. But all-in-all she felt elated. What had been a drudgery of a day, turned into a serendipitous evening. It had been awhile since she had that much fun. Lightning could barely remember having another sort of "girls night" as this one. She quickly decided that she probably never did.

She rolled onto her back, observing the room. It was almost exactly the way it had been, save for the wine bottles and glasses, and the sweater she had draped over the chair when had home. The light over the table was still on, but she quickly decided to let Hope turn it off when he came. She took the fact that he had still not come home that he was probably having a good time, hopefully at least no pun intended.

The prompted something that she couldn't place at first. The bet! Both of them hadn't gotten sick, and all the booze was gone. Felt somewhat disappointed and glad. She was disappointed because that meant no one won. She was glad because at least she didn't lose. And she grimaced as she thought about what she would have to say to Hope if she did.

And then there was the other thing, the original problem. Lebreau was right, Lightning knew it. There was no reason to fear rejoining the GC, but she still was afraid. She hated that fact. She had been an l'Cie. She had fought fal'Cie. She had defied fate. And she was afraid of her own past. This wasn't her. It wasn't the person she wanted to be. And she knew there was only one thing she do to rid herself of it, the only question was how was she going to Hope and the others, and Serah. What would they think? That she feared much, much more than death.

"Yeah." It was all things she should about sober though. She grabbed a small blanket that was draped over the couch for decoration, good enough considering how warm it was, got comfortable on her side and closed her eyes.

Her lips curled into a small smile. "Open trench."

"Lightning," someone was speaking, but it didn't occur to her who it was. She was tired. Lightning's head had never felt so heavy. There was no way she was getting up.

"Lightning," he said again in a loud whisper. There was also something else, a slight sense of urgency. But who could it be anyway?

"Light-ning!" A grasped her shoulder and shook her. That brought her bit closer to reality. She groaned, her eyes opening to the dimmed back of the couch, but they begged to be closed as soon as she did.

He by then had groan impatient, and there were a few footsteps right before the blinds above her opened to reveal the penetrating daylight. Lightning winced as though she had been underground for the past month, shielding her eyes as she rolled over away from the window. Whoever it was, he got what she wished. She was awake.

"Ah! Hope? What…" The room seemed so bright she barley see anything. The table, the television, everything was obscured except the shadowy body leaning in toward her.

"Hey! There you are."

"Wh—what time is it?"

"It's just past nine. Uh I just got back actually. We ended up staying at Serah and Snow's. But why are you sleeping on the couch? Who's in your room?"

Lightning was too distracted by the aching of her own head to answers. She had never had a real hangover, first time for everything. But almost on cue Lebreau slowly stumbled out of Lightning's room, looking zombie-like as she scanned the room.

"Oh shit," she muttered as she noticed Hope standing in the center in the room. "Hi Hope."

"Hey…"

"I'm just going to use the bathroom okay," she said, disappearing into the hallway.

"Uh sure," Hope responded.

Lightning sat up, putting her head in her hands. All the fun of the previous night was distant memory. Not only her head but her stomach just felt terrible, almost as though she had just drank of few liters of acid. But that's sort of what she did. She thought to stand up but immediately decided against it. She felt much more inclined to just curl back up on the couch.

"Light—uh," began to ask.

"What Hope?"

"Did you have a party last night?" he asked sounding somewhat worried.

Lightning groaned with a heavy breath. It wasn't a party, by far, but she wasn't exactly sure how to explain it. The growing sickening feeling wasn't helping either.

"No but…" she spied around for the trash can. She wasn't going to be able to hold in for much longer. Luckily enough it was only an arms length from the couch. "…but."

"We just got really drunk Hope," Lebreau answered, having returned from the bathroom.

"O-kay," Hope said awkwardly, eyeing Lightning who was sinking her face lower and lower to the trashcan.

"Did you have a good time?" Lebreau asked.

"Yeah. We flew around the whole Plateau. It's huge by the way, probably over fifty kilometers across. We ended up not getting back till late so we just…" Lightning was listening, trying her best to distract herself from the nausea. But with each word hope said the feeling got deeper and deeper. Lightning's heart began to beat faster in grim anticipation of what she knew was coming. This was not going to be pleasant.

The first bit of bile almost shot out her mouth like a cannon, Lightning felt herself struggling just to keep her head in place over the trashcan The first ended quickly, leaning her gasping and gagging for breath over the mouth. She felt Hope's hands clutch her shoulders as the second wave came, thankfully not as violent as the first but it left her in the same state. This repeated a few times before Lightning was confident enough it was all over. She rolled back onto couch, thankful that the nausea was finally gone.

Hope still had his hands on her shoulders, frantically asking her if she was alright. It was perfectly reasonable, she did sound like she was dying.

"I'm fine," she brushed off his hands.

He wasn't convinced so Lebreau had to come in and reassure him. "She's okay Hope. Just really hungover."

"Alright uh," he scratched the back of his head. "Exactly how much did you drink last night?"

How much, as if she could remember exact liter amounts. "Too much," Lightning said softly lying on her back.

"Yeah. Well everyone's getting together for breakfast right now. That's actually what I came to tell you. But you don't like you're feeling up to it," Hope lamented.

In truth she wasn't feeling up to it, but Lightning was not one to be told that she was invalid. "No, no. I'll go." She paused from the ache that ensued when she sat her self up. "I'll just be a little late."

"Great. I'll go and tell everybody. You're coming too Lebreau?"

"Sure. I'll be along with miss vomit-a-ton here," Lebreau acknowledged.

"Cool! I'll go tell them you and Light are coming. But Light you should definitely take a shower though."

Suddenly the months of familiarity Lightning had shared with the kid seemed a wholly bad idea.

"Hope!"

"Ah sorry," he quickly retracted motioning to leave.

It was then Lighting noticed that Lebreau was eyeing her intently. Nodding at first, but then she started to make a whole series of gestures that to Lightning seemed somewhat drunken break dance. Then she remembered. The wager, the bet, the grand terms of the drinking game they had played that night. The loser was the one who vomited first. First; not limited to that evening, but extended indefinitely into the immediate future. Lightning had lost, and Lightning as now responsible for the execution of the agreement. It was a horrifying realization, and she very quickly thought about ignoring it. Just let Hope walk out the door. That was the sensible thing, since what she was required to say to him was going to give Hope a totally wrong impression of her. Besides she had to live with him. Lebreau, if she had lost would not have to face him the next day. It was an unfair contract. All this went through Lightning's mind. But then again, she did agree, by her own accord. And though it wasn't always true, she liked Lebreau. They were friends. And friends kept bargains with each other, to the bitter end.

"Hope wait!" She yelled, crawling after him on the couch.

"Yeah, what's up," he said so innocently. If only he knew what was in store.

Hesitation came over Lightning again. She looked at Lebreau's prodding eyes for some shred of pity but found none. Her shoulders sank, and she swallowed hard. "I have to tell you something…"

"I'm loving Hope right now," Lebreau said as she wobbled out of Lightning's shower. Hope had been gone for over ten minutes, but she was still laughing over the seen.

"Can we please drop this?" Lightning asked for the who-knows-how-many-ieth time. She had never felt so awkward in front of anyone. And she bet Hope hadn't ever looked so frightened in his life.

Lebreau just laughed harder. No, she wasn't going to drop the subject anytime soon. She almost skipped with delight into Lightning's room to dress herself. Lightning had already showered and dressed and stood waiting for her just outside.

"Well Lightning, if anything you're a good sport. Don't worry I won't tell anyone. And I'm pretty sure Hope won't either." She laughed yet again. "You would probably have to torture him to get him to repeat it."

Lightning hoped that was true. While she didn't mind too much Snow finding, Serah would probably beat her to death if she heard those words. Sazh's probably heard a lot worse.

Just forget about, Lightning told herself. That was the best course of action. That is much easier said than done though.

"Are you ready yet?" Lightning chided at Lebreau.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm just getting my shoes on," the reply came as the door opened. Surprisingly to Lightning, despite the night of heavy drinking, Lebreau looked none the worse, actually pretty good. Maybe that came with experience?

Lebreau hopped into her shoes with the grace of a tap dancer. "Okay let's go."

"Great."

It was a bit of hike to Snow and Serah's unit. In spite of best efforts on their part, and assurances from the CCA, they weren't able to get everyone assigned into adjacent, or even nearby housing. So subsequently Snow and Serah were over a kilometer from Lightning and Hope. Not very far away, but still far from next door, and thus Lightning actually didn't see too much of her sister during the week.

About ten minutes into the walk, Lebreau asked, "So you feeling better now?"

"The head ache's mostly gone. I'm still not exactly awake," Lightning responded.

"Yeah. It's something about the alcohol, but I've known a lot a people who, you know, don't sleep very long when they're drunk. I mean we probably only got around five hours."

"Uh it feels like two." Lightning started to regret agreeing to come. But she wanted to see Serah. Plus, she was hungry.

"Yeah I hear that." They walked for a few moments in silence. Lightning got a sense that Lebreau had something her mind. She knew what it was. "Hey Light, have you thought about last night. You know…"

"Yeah a little bit…" She ended the sentence as though there was more to come, but at that moment she couldn't summon the words. She had examined what she wanted, she had thought about what she felt, then and in the past. It wasn't hard to see that she should resume her career as a soldier. But how to say it? It seemed like such a heavy thing after all they had been through. And even Lightning was uneasy about it.

"Okay. Just checking. I don't want to pressure you."

"It's fine. Actually I've made up my mind." Lightning stopped walking. "I'm going to do it."

The phrase hung in the air for moment as Lebreau took stoke of what she said. Lightning wished she knew what was going through her mind. "Cool. You nervous?"

"No—just a little," Lightning responded avoiding her eyes.

Lebreau put her hands up. "I won't say anything to her. Keep it to yourself for as long as you like."

"Thanks. I just don't want to give the wrong impression," her mind cycled back to the earlier encounter with Hope. That memory was going to stick with her for a long time.

"I understand. But let's hurry up alright, before the food's all gone."

It was another ten minutes of walking of walking before they came upon the zone where Serah and Snow dwelled. It was just shy of the under-construction residential district for the settlement, and the two got a fresh look at the proto-apartments the CCA was building as permanent hosing for the inhabitants of the settlement. It had only been a few weeks prior when the buildings weren't much more than foundations when Lighting had last seen them, but they had made significant since then. It wasn't going to be long before people started to move in. The much larger Civic Center beyond them was also nearing completion. In only a few short months a settlement of hundreds of thousands, or possibly even millions had grown from refugee camp to thriving city. Lightning thought Hope was right. It was miraculous, in a world where miracles don't really exist.

The thoughts drained from her though as they turned from the primary avenue into the line where her sister's unit was. Lightning had done it several times, but she still had trouble remembering which row of units Serah's was on. Good thing she was good at guessing.

It didn't take much more than a couple of steps down the narrowing divide between the adjoining lines of units before it was obvious which was her sister's. They were all outside, with a large rusted-looking outdoor grill next to two a few crates arranged in a long line with a table cloth run over them.

It had certainly been a long time since Lightning had been to something like this. She felt somewhat awkward walking up. There were a lot a people milling about, many she didn't know. She guessed they must be her sister's neighbors. She was momentarily impressed by that fact. Lighting had barely seen most of her neighbors in the units around her and Hope. All nervousness evaporated when Serah emerged from a gap like the Sun from amongst thick fog. Serah immediately ran toward her, getting her in a wide bear-hug before she could escape.

"Hey! You came! Hope made it sound like you were gravely ill. Are you feeling better?" She asked in one great breath.

"I'm fine. Just tired."

Serah nodded then turned toward Lebreau, also giving her a hug. "Hey, how about you?"

"The same as Light. We both got a little drunk last night."

They released each other. Serah had a wide grin on her face. "You'll have to invite me next time." She turned to Lightning and pointed. "I'm old enough."

Lightning tried to suppress the smile as she looked at the ground, and Lebreau and her sister just laughed.

"C'mon, we got a lot of food ready. And more are coming!" Serah cried and ran back into the mire.

Lightning was a bit stunned watching Serah. Not by all the people, but the more the euphoria that seemed to surround her sister. Serah was always a bright person, but never so, well energetic. She was oozing happiness with each word she said. It was enough even to make her wish that she was more like Serah, a little. She then spied Lebreau walking after her.

"Hey, serendipity. Right Lightning?" she shrugged and proceeded to corral herself some bacon and eggs.

"Yeah," was all Lightning could say, and then proceeded to do the same.

There was a lot of food, at least enough to feed more than two dozen people to satisfaction. Lightning couldn't guess where they got all the eggs, and the meat. It was Pulse stuff, but the smell was better than anything she remembered having on Cocoon. Whatever it was, Lightning didn't care. It had been a long time since she had actually eaten breakfast and she wasn't passing this up.

There were no chairs and thus no sitting. Everyone just milled about with mouths full and plates. Lightning found herself exchanging pleasantries with her mouth full as her sister introduced her.

There was an older gentleman and his wife. "Julius Hazard, I was a doctor back in Eden."

"Hello."

"Hello. We absolutely adore your sister." The wife said.

"Thank you."

Another couple was younger and they had small new borne girl with them. "Really nice of you do this. We have hardly any food with the rationing."

"You're welcome." Even though it wasn't Lightning's party.

Eventually they ran into Gadot, who despite his size, Lightning hadn't seen till that moment. "Hey the other Farron. Nice to see ya."

"You too."

"We should hang out more you and me."

"Some other time."

Once the introductions ceased Lightning finally got a word alone with her sister.

"How did you do all this so fast?"

Serah did a bouncy shrug. "We were just planning to do lunch actually with the four of us, you, Hope, and us. But then Gadot and them showed up, and we ended up buying so much food, we just decided to make it a big breakfast. It was spontaneous!"

"How much did you spend?" The question almost sounded like an accusation.

"Hey it wasn't much. We're fine. And you don't need to chip in okay?"

Lightning resisted for a moment, but then had recollections of the chardonnay of the previous evening. One should always accept kindness with grace and civility, she recalled a teacher lecturing her once. "Yeah."

"Alright. I'm going to go and play host," she said and skipped off into the throng of people.

Lightning stood for a moment, observing he the small crowd as she ate what remained of her meal. She wasn't alone for long though. Snow emerged at her side, carrying a fiberglass container that had been converted into an ice chest. "Hello there," the greeted, putting a lot of stress on the 'there.'

Lightning knew he was implying something. "What?"

"Oh nothing just saying hello," he put the chest next to the row of crates.

"Yeah right. What has Hope told you?"

"Not much just said you weren't feeling well," He turned around, opening the ice chest. "…because you got stone drunk last night with Lebreau last night."

At least he didn't relay more than that. Still Lightning had the need to defend her honor. "I wasn't that bad."

"Oh really. So you weren't throwing up bullets this morning?"

Hard to defend that. "What? I'm not allowed to have a few drinks once and awhile?" She threw the then empty plate into a nearby garage bin.

"You're allowed. Just wish I could've been there to see you of all people get shitfaced," Snow responded, while filing s bunch of plastic cups with ice.

Maybe it was the tone, or the just the 'shitfaced' comment, but Lightning found the urge irresistible. She gave him a light jab on his shoulder, right around the musculocutaneous nerve, not hard, she didn't want to cause damage. Snow immediately dropped one of the cups he was holding, scattering ice everywhere.

"Ah! Geeze Light I was just kidding," he said holding his arm.

"So was I," she grabbed one of the cups with ice, and proceeded walked over to fill it with the tang that had just been made.

Lightning managed to keep to herself for minutes. She watched as more of the neighbors came in, picked up plates and then went over the say hi to Serah, who seemed to be on a first name basis with all of them. Now at then she would motion to her, pointing her out to them, but Lightning would just wave and keep drinking the tang. She had to get a few refills. It wasn't long though before Hope finally appeared, with Sazh and Dajh closely trailing. At least she knew these people.

"Hey soldier. Nice to see you after a short while," Sazh shouted as he approached.

"You too," Lightning replied.

"Hey Lightning," Hope said somewhat timidly as he stopped beside.

"Hope," she felt she needed to do more explaining, but she rather have Sazh and especially Dajh, not hear it.

"I'm liking this sister of yours Light," Sazh said as he walked by, touching her shoulder. "A man can't get enough to eat these days."

Lightning just smiled, then turned to Hope. "Hope um—sorry again about the…" She needn't say more.

"Oh it's okay. I get it. It was sort of funny. Kind of."

"Yeah." It was one of those of moments where she searched for something, anything to say. She wanted to let the ice melt a little, sweep the dirt under the rug, let bygones be bygones, erase the whole thing with a joke. But she wasn't that witty, so it seemed. She might as well tell him about her decision though. After all he was having the same thoughts.

"I'm going to get some food," Hope said after a moment.

"Wait a moment!" She said hastily, almost as an order. Hope stopped suddenly, turning his head over his shoulder to look at her.

"What?"

Lightning consciously tried to ease her tone, "I just want to tell you something—something serious."

"Okay. What is it?"

Questions of tact suddenly befuddled her. She felt like she needed to give list of reasons. There weren't really reasons though, but more justifications, it occurred to her. But she then scolded herself for being stupid. She shouldn't pussyfoot. That was not who she was.

"I've thought about it. And I wanted to tell you that I'm going to rejoin the GC. I'm going back to the Guardian Corps," Lightning spoke quickly, looking away from Hope's eyes.

"You are! Really?" She expected that question, but she didn't expect the tone be so…joyous.

"Yeah," she confirmed.

"You're rejoining the army Light?" Snow's voice surprised her from behind her. Since when was he listening?

She shook the surprise off. "Yeah I am," she said, with some purposeful attitude.

Snow threw his hands up. "Didn't mean anything by it."

"That's great!" Serah said, emerging at her flank. Was everyone listening in? "I knew to had be going crazy with nothing to do."

"We'll be able to serve together when I can sign up," Hope commented.

"You have a few meters to grow before that'll happen kid," Sazh interjected. Privacy really is dead. "Overheard. So you'll be a soldier yet again? Hope it works out better than the first time."

"Oh thanks. I'll try to keep the apocalypses to minimum," Lightning sassed.

There was general laughter at the comment. "We're just happy for ya Light," Snow explained.

"If this is your happiness, I don't want to see your contempt," she hit again.

Serah rushed to her then, grasping both her hands. "It'll be just like before!" She cheered gleefully.

Snow walked up and put his arm around her. "No it'll be better than before. No cosmic beings to get in the way this time."

"Cheers to that," Sazh agreed. " Guess I'll be telling the truth from now on when I say 'good luck soldier.'"

"Good luck," the word echoed throughout the crowd, followed by cheers and salutations, as it seemed everyone in the crowd had overheard the conversation. Lightning felt two compelling urges then. The principal one drove her to get out of the spotlight, and the supplementary one forced her to smiled and say thank you to everyone who came to shake her hand. She recalled childhood experiences of being lost in crowds of people, trying to recover a familiar face. She made eye contact with Lebreau, who simply smiled and raised her plastic cup in the air. Anyone could see that it meant "told you so."