"Well, I like the idea of a vacation." Tali muttered from where she sat, which was a rather comfortable lap.

Shepard gave a laugh and squeezed her stomach lightly. "So do I. That ghost may have looked like you, but I enjoy the real thing even more."

"I thought we explained I was the ghost."

"You were? Tali, how could you?"

"I had my reasons." she replied with a shrug. "Besides, Garrus wouldn't stop bothering me."

"At least he didn't coax you into seducing me. That would have been a silly idea."

"Uh... yeah..."

Suddenly, the door to his quarters opened, revealing the turian in question. Approaching the two, he gave a nod to the couple.

"Shepard, Tali."

"Hey Garrus." Tali replied, not paying much attention and shifting in her 'seat' for better comfort.

"'sup scaly."

"Yeah, anyways, whats going on? Elysium still a go or are we going somewhere else?"

"Oh, Elysium is still a go alright. Where else are we going to find a hotel that has decontamination chambers and clean room-style rooms?" Tali lowered her face from both their views, embarrassed by that statement. As embarrassing as it was though, it was true.

"Ever since 'that' time, you two have been spending too much time together. I swear, you don't get enough of each other."

"Why would we?" Shepard asked, tightening his grip on the quarian. "You can never love anyone too much and we're young, so i plan on making the best of what i can with my youth, and since we can live far longer than our late 21st century counterparts, that's a pretty long time."

"Uh-huh. Well, I know exactly what I'm gonna be doing. Turian buffet, here I come."

"A buffet? You're not planning on using the, 'turian must never weigh over 200 pounds' loophole, are you?"

"Even if i wanted to, it would take a pretty long time for a turian to reach that weight level. And even if i did weigh over 200 pounds, no one could beat these good looks." To add emphasis, Garrus performed a pose, stretching one arm in one direction while curling the other in an attempt to show his scaly muscles. A fail at best.

"Yeah... anyways, lets get this show on the road. Tali, if you would."

"I don't want to." the quarian muttered, keeping her arms locked around Shepard's waist.

"Alright then." With fluid motion, Shepard tucked his arms under her, one under her legs and the other on her back. She yelped in surprise but nestled in once his actions came to her.

"I see your not planning on keeping this whole relationship thing to yourselves." said Garrus.

"Of course not. Hell, I'll carry her all day if she wanted. She's light enough. My, is she light enough..."

"Hey, I'm still here."

"I'm sorry, what?"

"I said I'm-"

"Lets get a move on."

...

[Location - Mess hall]

During a boring morning, the team that was gathered around, awaiting breakfast, were utterly... bored. Strangely, Grunt began a conversation not about killing or mauling or anything revolving around 'krogan nature'.

"I hate Mondays..." - Grunt

"But its Tuesday." - Joker replied, raising his head from the table.

"I felt like sharing. Shepard told me i needed to 'socialize' more, so i guess I'm stuck with you, meatbag." - Grunt

"Meat 'sack' is more like it. Sacks always hold something fragile... something i feel like hitting." - Jack

"Yeah, I'm sure you've hit enough 'sacks' in your lifetime" - Miranda.

"Hey, shut the hell up." - Jack

"Both of you shut up. Your giving me a headache." - Joker

"Shut up, cripple. I don't want to hear any of your gay comments. Let the grown-ups have their conversation." - Jack

"This conversation has no meaning aside from violence." - Thane to Samara

"Agreed." - Samara to Thane

"Hey, if your implying i like men, you are dead wrong. I will let you know i am attracted to ladies. 'Female' ladies." - Joker

"Shut the hell up, I've had enough of this." - Jack

"I bet you have..." Miranda

"Hey, suck my di-" Jack

"GOOD MORNING CREW!" Shepard announced, coming from around the corner with tali in his arms and Garrus not far behind.

"Commander... Tali's in your arms... i thought you did that only at 5:30?" - Joker

"Not today i don't. Today i celebrate the beginning of our vacation." - Shepard

"I'm sure we all have our own events to celebrate." - Miranda

"Hey, wheres Jacob?" - Shepard

"Well, he's celebrating Kwanzaa, so-"

"'Sup, gang!" Jacob shouted in joy. Everyone only listened to the first word before ther attention came upon the ancient, tribal-decorated shirt the soldier wore. Its patters mimicked those of ancient african tribes and the hat...

"What the hell man. Where did you get that stuff?" - Joker

"Found it." - Jacob

"You... found it? Who the hell wou-" - Joker

"Hey everyone!" Gardner declared, joining Jacob as he too wore an african-designed tribal wear. And the hat...

"Gardner, your African?" - Miranda

"True dat." - Gardner

"Well... i don't really know how to react to that." - Miranda

"Congratulations... i think. Who told you, you were African?" - Shepard.

"The Illusive man! He was gracious enough to go far into my past as to find out i was of African descent!" - Gardner

"I guess the bastard has a heart after all!" - Joker

...

The Illusive man put down his paper immediately and looked around, slight fear in his eyes. He shuddered slightly and ignored the unpleasant feeling, returning to his paper.

"So, the chef is African... what else is there to add to the shocking moment."

"Nothing i can think of." - Jacob.

The group held a momentary silence before Shepard began walking away.

"I'll see you guys later when the ship lands. Hope you don't do anything stupid while I'm gone." And with that, he was gone... until the ship landed of course.

...

[Time - Not long after... last time. Well, maybe a few hours... Just read the story]

Stretching as he entered the cargo bay, Shepard groaned as he approached Miranda. He noticed Grunt wearing a different colored armor, mostly red and white, but ignored it for the moment. Reaching the XO, he grunted.

"Hey Miranda." Shepard declared, showing his hand. Controversial to Cerberus regulations, Miranda became more 'free' in expressions and met Shepards hand with two slaps and a fist bump.

"Hey." she replied. She resumed watching the krogan, too bringing Shepards intrigue into the tankbred's actions.

"Whats Grunt doing?" Shepard asked upon seeing a poorly constructed white... thing, on the crate near the krogan.

"Doing what he's dreamt of since... he left the tank?" Miranda responded with a shrug. "Actually, he found a Christmas book and i'm certain his hearts grew three sizes in that short minute he read it before eating it. And... well, here he is."

"Doing what?" Shepard asked.

"Har har har." Grunt muttered aloud from where he stood.

"What is he tryi-" - Shepard

"Records indicate it is pronounced 'Ho ho ho'" Legion corrected the krogan, appearing from behind a crate.

Realization hit Shepard, and his response was a smiple one.

"... Oh god."

"Yup. He's Santy Clause. What surprises me even more is that he called the local mall and asked to be their Santa, even threatening the manager if he refused."

"Thats shocking!"

"I know! When did he learn to use a phone!"

...

Controversial to what you may think, TIM has his own ways of celebrating Christmas. Want me to make one?

Not the next one though. Its all about Tali in the next one, as the fans have decided.