Here it is! My first attempt at oneshot! And fluff! Lols. And since, I'm new to this, please be gentle. ^^

With love, MisakiXUsagi pairing... ENJOY! =D

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN JUNJOU ROMANTICA, MISAKI NOR USAGI. I ONLY DO SO IN MY DREAMS... =D

His Heartbeat

This is stupid, I sighed to myself. As soon as I made that little sound, I instantly regretted doing this. Usagi turned on his bed and it was all it took for me, Misaki, looking so stupid standing there in the middle of the room, to stop without even moving a muscle and hold my breath. As soon as I was sure that the Usagi-san was still asleep, I went on.

Really, really stupid. Why can't I just go back to my bed and sleep? Stupid feet. Stupid, stupid habit. I continued walking as quietly as I can towards his bed all the while silently chastising myself for this stupid habit.

Yes. It was a habit. A ritual even. It started one night when I was having a hard time going to sleep and out of impulse, decided to take a peek in his room. Since then, it has become a silent ritual for me. A stupid ritual that I can't seem to shake off my system. I know I have to get through this or else I would not be able to sleep at all.

I don't know what I would do if he caught me. Why can't I just stop? I kept berating myself for being so weak yet when I reached the side of Usagi-san's bed, all it took was one look at the sleeping form right in front of me and all my worries drifted away. He is so beautiful. Especially with the moonlight coming in from the open window of his room, making him shine in all the right places. I wonder how he can look so innocent when he's asleep. Like there is nothing in this world that was worth worrying over. He smiled in his sleep and I felt a lump form at the back of my throat. Softly, tentatively, I reached a hand towards his chest. There it is. That unmistakable thug-thugging sensation that never fails to send shivers to the tips of my fingers, up to my arms, towards my entire body and down to the very depths of my soul. Oh, how much I love this man.

I've been doing this for a month now. Right in the middle of the night, when I know that he would be sleeping, I would get up and go to his room. I do this even when I was so tired from my classes and from my part-time jobs. Sometimes, when I wake up and find myself right where I'd want to be, right in his arms, I silently thank him for saving me the trouble of having to sneak into his room. Those nights, when I am extra tired and sore from… well, from the "activities" that kept us up all night, I would just reach my hand towards his chest and lay there listening to his breathing. Sometimes even counting them and uttering a silent prayer of thanksgiving for having this man who never failed to show me how much he loved me.

And right now, as I lay my hand right there in his heart, I look at him and smile. Careful not to wake him up, I leaned over and softly touched my lips into his. As I got up, I looked at him and out of habit, unconsciously started counting his breathing. No matter how good he is on pretending to be asleep, I would know when he is awake or not. I've memorized every movement of his chest, the slow shallow rhythm as he takes each breath, the fluttering of his eyes behind closed lids, his lashes making long, gorgeous shadows on his cheeks. Yes, even his shadows are gorgeous. Everything about him spells perfection. Though I would never openly admit that to him, I know he sees in my eyes every time I look at him the beauty I see in him.

For the last time tonight, I gently placed my fingers on his chest. I could live just like this forever. Feeling his heart beating and knowing that it was beating for me. He always makes me feel like I am such a treasure to him. That I am so special. Though I would never understand what he sees in me, I'm just glad that he is what he is, stubborn as hell. Because I just don't know what I would do if he would ever listen to my complaints and would just stop treating me like he did. I don't think I could ever live with that.

I need him. As much as I needed to feel his heart beneath my fingertips every single time. I remember the reason I told myself that first night. I just wanted to check on him. He's been extra tired that night working on a deadline for three straight days with only a few hours of sleep in between. I went to check and see if he's already asleep. It was really dark inside his room that night because as tired as he was, he has forgotten to open the windows in his room, something he always do before going to sleep. For a second I was gripped with fear because I couldn't see if he was breathing or not. Panic came over me and I went beside him and only breathed a sigh of relief when I felt the familiar beating of his heart behind my hand where I have placed it on his chest.

I know I would die of embarrassment if he ever caught me doing this but this is something I know I would be willing to do for the rest of my life. I know I will never be able to sleep again without feeling his heartbeat in my palm. He means the world to me and though I know I don't always show him how much I love him, I know he knows I do.

These nights, when I am alone with him, his shadows and his heartbeat, I allow myself to truly explore my feelings for him. Then, they would flow freely. Into my whole being. Sometimes that's all it takes to make me remind myself not to get swallowed by the overflow of emotions. I once remember in our Psychology class, our teacher mentioned that our emotions are controlled by a part of the brain called the hypothalamus. According to her, it is in that part where we feel love, not in our heart. I don't know if I believe her or not. But whether she's wrong or not, I know deep inside the very depths of my soul, I love this person, whose breathing can lull me to sleep every night, with all of my hypothalamus, with all of my heart, with all of my soul, with my very being.

I know it will be a long time before I can finally say these words to him, but right now this will be a secret between me, his shadows and his heartbeat.

There it goes. So fluffy and mushy and cuddly just like cotton candy.

I never really knew how to write about love.

I know Misaki may sound a little OOC here but I would like to believe that this is how he truly feels towards Usagi.

So, there. My first one-shot ever.

Everything is in italics since everything is happening inside Misaki's head.

As I have told you before, I've been having a hard time getting inside Usagi's mind. Maybe we don't share the same wavelength. I don't know.

So there, whatever.

A little love over here, a little love over there. What do we have? PURE LOVE!

Reviews are very much welcome and appreciated. Thanks, minna-san! (Thanks, everyone.) ^^

~~douzheana~~