Things I Am Not Allowed To Do at Hogwarts

A/N: Haha, some fantastic Marauder material in here. Also, Bated readers- I am 98% done with my next chapter, I am sooooo sorry for the long wait. Accept my genuflections and supplications as apology.

#8 I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month."

Sirius snickered, elbowing James in the rib as they walked down the hall. The two sixth year boys were examining the prospects for dates to Hogsmeade. "Sarah McNellan might be nice. She just broke up with her boyfriend so she's desperate, Prongsie."

James rolled his eyes. "How come you always suggest the desperate birds for me."

"All the others know you're hopelessly in love with Evans, ridiculous as that sounds."

"Hey!" James elbowed his friend back, hard. Sirius yelped like a dog, making James and Peter snigger at his distress.

Remus was unusually silent through the whole thing, not even looking over to reprimand his friends for physical violence or even for treating Hogwarts' girls like objects- something he often got on them for. James and Sirius eventually cottoned on. "Hey Moony, what's up with you mate?"

"You're unusually morose," Sirius agreed.

"Morose is a big word for you," Remus muttered, feeling ornery.

Sirius barked a laugh. "'Sirius' is a big word for me."

He got nothing. NOTHING. (From Remus, anyway, Peter broke down in giggles.) Sirius scowled, poking Remus on the cheek repeatedly until Remus smacked his hand away. "Will you stop that?"

"Not until you tell me what's wrong!" Sirius was very mature.

"Is it your time of the month?" James accused, poking Remus' other cheek. Peter and Sirius giggled.

"I didn't think it was, but it must be, he is definitely PMSing," Sirius said thoughtfully, poking Remus again.

The werewolf scowled, swatting their hands away and mumbling something about arrogant twats as he sped away from them, head down.

"What?" James called after him, hands outstretched in supplication. "Just trying to cheer you up, mate!"