Author's note: This is my first Degrassi story. Ever. I was inspired this season the second I saw Adam. The more we found out about him, the more I wanted to write about him. This particular story takes place after "I Just Don't Know What To Do With Myself" and before "My Body Is A Cage." I tried to be as accurate as possible with details, but I made a few little things up for dramatic purposes.

Plot: Adam is slowly establishing himself both as a person and as a part of the Degrassi school community. He's managed to make friends and enemies in the short time that we've known him. His biggest challenge is yet to come though, as a friendship teeters on the rocks due to Adam's secret and unexpected newfound crush on one friend.

Rating: MA for language, violence, and explicit sexual content in later chapters.

I do not own the show or any of the characters.

Adam Torres had never expected that hiding his secret at Degrassi would be this hard.

After Lakehurst had shut down, Adam and his step-brother Drew were home-schooled for a year. He remembered his mother's words to him.

"Until you can sort things out, Gracie, we're keeping you at home."

"Adam. Don't call me the 'G' word, mother. Call me Adam."

"Yeah mom," Drew chimed in, "I want a step-brother, not a step-sister."

Adams mom promised she would refer to him as her son so long as he attended weekly therapy sessions to ensure that that's really what he wants: to be male. Adam hated it. His therapist would talk and talk and ask one stupid question after another.

"Did you identify more with males as a child or females?"

"Guys, I guess."

"Did your parents allow you to dress in male clothing at a young age?"

"My clothes were kinda all over the place."

"Have you thought about having the proper surgeries to complete your transformation?"

"I don't have that kind of money and I don't really want to answer that question."

"Is your family comfortable with your new gender status?"

"My mother hates it. My grandparents and cousins don't know."

"What about your brother?"

"Step-brother. He supports me, I guess."

"A lot of your answers seem to have 'I guess' in them. Are you starting to have doubts?"

"About what? No. I don't know. Aren't you supposed to be helping me figure that out?"

"I'm asking the questions, Adam, please stop being so rude."

"Sorry Ms. W, I'm just really sick of all these questions. I don't have any new answers; you don't have any new questions. How about we just move on?"

"You know I can't do that Adam. How are you finding Degrassi?"

"Good. I like it there. I get to be myself, I get a new start. I'm just...happy."

"You don't sound sure of yourself."

"Fine, how about you tell me how I feel? Since you seem to know more than I do."

"Adam just answer the questions. You were starting to make some progress there. You've never mentioned being happy before."

"That's probably because the last 50 times you asked that question, I was too pissed off to respond correctly."

"Fine. Moving on. How many female friends do you have at your school, now?"

"Two. Maybe one."

"Do you have a girlfriend yet?"

Adam never responded to that question. It had become a pattern with him and his therapist, Ms. Watson. She would randomly select questions out of her piles of cue cards and when she thought they were starting to make some progress, she'd ask 'the' question. Adam would shut down instantly and leave without saying a word.

He hated her for that. She made him feel awful for everything. She questioned his every move, his every 'uh'. Any hesitation, any smile, any frown. She questioned everything and it bothered the hell out of him.

It wasn't bad enough that his mother was too embarrassed to go shopping for clothes with him in public, or go to restaurants, now he had to sit down with this quack and discuss all the things going on in his life that couldn't be brought up at home and that he didn't want to talk about. Not with her, not with anyone.

Drew was the first of the step-siblings to get his driver's license. When Adam tried to follow suit, his mother flat out refused. "You have legs, you can walk to school." Drew, knowing full-well that his mother was being unfair, split the cost of an old car with Adam and drove him to school every day. Drew was the only person Adam had been able to count on since he became Adam.

That was until he met Sav, Eli and Clare.

Degrassi was the exact fresh start Adam and Drew were both looking for. Drew had big dreams for his ability to play sports and he was hoping there might be a possible female cohort in his future. Adam needed to be somewhere where he could be the person he felt most comfortable being. Not having to pretend to be happy to appease his mother.

Lakehurst hadn't just been a problem for the boys because of the fire. Prior to attending Lakehurst, Adam's gender status had been grounds for them being booted out of seven other high schools. Adam felt bad about it, but Drew being the good brother that he was told Adam to just be happy. "Just because they don't get you, doesn't mean you shouldn't be who you want to be." Drew had said that to Adam on their first day of Lakehurst. Adam was going to find a way to make this year work. If that meant keeping his secret to himself, he would do it if only to not have to make Drew change schools again.

The boys had never had problems making friends. Girls flocked to Drew like seagulls to bread. That's how it appeared to Adam anyways. Adam attracted more controversy than anything else, but he was going to give making friends his best effort this year.

Adam met Eli when they were both participants in a contest to try to win backstage passes to the Dead Hand reunion concert, by keeping their hands on a truck. Adam and Eli being the last two left, decided to split the tickets. They each got two tickets instead of four. After they won the tickets, Sav asked them to both help unload the truck. Adam wasn't able to hold onto a stereo system and he dropped the stereo which busted the truck's tail light. Eli managed to fix the tail light and the three attended the concert together.

Hanging out with Sav and Eli made Adam really happy. He'd missed out on hanging out with friends during his year of homeschooling. His mom and dad forbade him and Drew from having contact with and/or visiting their former Lakehurst friends. Drew found ways of seeing his friends behind their backs. Adam lost contact with everyone.

Adam had no qualms with anyone except Fitz and his cohorts. Fitz had some sort of silent vendetta against him. Adam hadn't told Drew. He knew if he did, Drew would try to start something. Adam refused to ruin the new school year for both of them with stupid drama, so he kept quiet about the bullying. He didn't know where the anger towards him had come from but if it wasn't for Eli, Adam's nose would have gotten up close and personal with Fitz' fist.

Eli's pal Clare wasn't so bad. She was nice to Adam, but she was a little too paranoid over Eli's actions towards Fitz for Adam's liking. Eli was older than Clare and had demonstrated that he could do more than just look after himself and his friends. He had verified that with the fake ID he'd given Fitz. According to Degrassi gossip, Eli had quite the reputation for not taking things lying down and not giving up without a fight. Adam didn't know exactly what Eli had done, but he knew that it would be better for him to just stay on his good side.

After Eli stood up for Adam against Fitz flying fists, Adam had grown to really respect Eli.

Here's a guy who doesn't know me from a hole in the wall, sees that I'm ready to stick my neck out for him and pull a few punches of my own, and he's more than willing to return the favour. And now he actually considers us friends. Adam could hardly believe his luck. If we could just keep Fitz at bay for good, this could actually be one of the best school years ever.

"Adam! We've gotta get going man! I have an early practice this morning." Drew called down the hall.

"No problem, Drew. I'll be down in 3 minutes or less." Adam called back. He shoved a few books in his backpack, checked his hair for the fifteenth time, grabbed his hat and ran down the stairs.

"Bye Drew." The boys mom gave Drew a kiss on the cheek. Drew rolled his eyes at Adam then went out the front door.

Adam didn't even glance at her as he went through after Drew. He and Drew hopped into their car and sped away.

"So how'd your date with the quack go this time?" Drew asked.

Adam shrugged. "Same old same old. She asks stupid questions, I give stupid answers. I don't think she's listening half the time anyway."

"Do you want her to? I mean you tried to fight mom tooth and nail not to go. You sound like you don't mind it anymore." Drew stared at Adam, waiting for an answer. "Well? Which is it?"

"I just..." Adam punched the dashboard. "I don't know Drew. It's not 'helping' me any. I haven't changed my mind about who I am or what I want, but every time I go there she questions everything and makes me feel like a crazy person. Whatever. No matter what way you spin it, she's the quack. Not me."

Drew smiled. "Mom's so stupid for making you go through with that crap week in and week out. And dad's even stupider for not saying anything. I mean we both know that nothing I say makes a difference, but at least if dad had said something, she might have reconsidered before deciding to try and ruin your life. She should just be happy that you're alive, you have a personality, and you don't totally hate her yet, and she could move on already."

Adam laughed. "So really? Football at 7:30 a.m.? I thought an athletically intellectual brain didn't even begin to function until at least 9:00."

Drew punched his step-brother playfully on the arm. "8:30 man, give me some credit. And I'm meeting Alli. Getting some make-out time in before class starts."

"You are such a guy..." the words spilled out of Adam's mouth before he could stop them. "I mean uh..."

"It's all good, bro. No fronts with me, no pretending. Say what you wanna say, I'm not judging you."

Adam was grateful that Drew changed the subject. "So you and Alli are getting serious, aren't you? I think it's been just over a week and you haven't mentioned any other females. That has to be a personal best for you."

The step-brothers laughed. "Yeah, I dunno. Things are ok for now and..." Drew paused.

"Just ok? C'mon give me something real, Drew. Is she a good kisser?" Drew nodded. "Are you looking for more than just...kissing..." Adam stopped talking again.

I feel so awkward asking Drew anything! What the hell is the matter with me?

"Dude it's alright. Cool out. Why are you so spastic this morning?"

"I'm...I dunno. Scared? Worried? Any and all synonyms for those two will about do." Adam slumped a little in his seat.

"You worried that someone might figure you out?"

"Yeah, and I'm worried about the reaction afterwards. I just...I still want people to like me, you know? I'm sick of all the schools being the same. I don't want us getting kicked out. Not again." Adam sniffled a little. He didn't want to cry, especially not in front of Drew. He could feel the tears starting to well.

Having Drew as a step-brother had its pros and cons. Most of the time, Adam couldn't remember what the cons were because Drew spent a lot of time sticking up for him. The thing he knew for sure, and that he was truly grateful for was that having Drew on his side, supporting him no matter what, made life a heck of a lot easier to live. Drew didn't take crap from anyone. That gave Adam enough confidence to at least attempt to stand up for himself, as opposed to just lying down and taking whatever whoever could dish out.

Adam spotted the now familiar chain link fence and quickly rubbed his eyes, trying to act cool, calm and collected. Drew nudged him. "Everything good?" Adam nodded. "If you need me, come find me. I don't want you dealing with anyone's crap on your own." Adam smiled at Drew.

They parked in the school parking lot and went their separate ways. Adam headed towards the library while Drew walked towards the bleachers to meet up with Alli. Adam walked quickly through the empty hallways to his locker. He grabbed a notebook and closed the door quietly. He hadn't noticed Fitz behind him, watching his every mood.

Adam took a short cut to the library, Fitz followed him. Just as Adam reached for the library door, Fitz pushed his head straight at the glass. The glass didn't shatter but Adam thought his nose might have. It's not even 8 a.m. What the hell is his problem this early in the morning? Adam slid down the glass onto the floor into a pile. He clutched his face in agony. "What's wrong, Fitz? Didn't get your beauty sleep last night?"

"Funny kid. I'll let you in on a little secret: Eli Goldsworthy isn't getting away with what he did to me. Since you happen to be associated with him that makes you a target as well. You might want to start looking over your shoulder. I guarantee someone will be waiting there to give you a hard time until Eli gets the message. Feel free to share my words of wisdom with him." Fitz kicked Adam in the stomach then walked away laughing.

Adam tried to pick himself up and walk the pain off, but he was closer to tears then he had been in the car. The pain was too much for him to be able to concentrate on righting himself. Whatever it was that Fitz had against him and Eli, he wanted Fitz to move on already and just leave them both alone.

While Adam was lying on the ground trying to figure out how to pick himself up, Clare walked by.

"Adam? Is that you? What are you..." Adam looked up at her weekly. "What happened to your face? It was Fitz wasn't it? Oh god. Can you walk?" Clare knelt down next to him. She pulled some Kleenex out of her purse and handed it to him. "Adam who did this? Was it Fitz?"

Adam opened his mouth to respond but Fitz beat him to the punch. "Well hello, Clare-bear. Fancy seeing you here."

"Back off, Fitz. You're lucky I don't go tell Principal Simpson about this right now." Clare was angry. She stood up and looked Fitz directly in the eye.

"I dare you. I dare you, Clare. Tell Simpson anything you want; it's not going to help your friend here. Or Eli for that matter. I owe them some major payback for what they did to me. If you want to make it worse, you go right ahead, I won't stop you. Say whatever you'd like. I promise if you rat me out, I'll make their lives and yours a living hell for the rest of the year." He moved so the he and Clare were practically nose to nose. "Got it?"

"Got it," said Clare sarcastically. Fitz didn't scare her. "Get away from me, Fitz."

He began to turn his back to her then changed his mind and spat an inch away from her feet. They glared at each other until Fitz finally left.

Adam was a bit embarrassed that he hadn't been able to stand up for himself, but he was grateful to Clare for having shown up. "Thanks Clare. D-don't worry about me." He attempted to stand up. The blood from his nose was still drizzling down his face.

He'd made it onto his knees then he fell over. Clare knelt down beside him again. "Should we go see the nurse? I don't mind skipping first period if it'll help you get back on your feet. And besides, I really don't think your teacher will mind if..." He tried to stand again, so she pulled his right arm across her shoulders and slowly helped to pull him to his feet.

"Clare I'm fine, really. I just want to go to homeroom, get through the day and go home."

"But what about your nose, Adam?" Clare was surprised when Adam pulled away from her and began trying to walk. He was barely able to take a step before he was overcome with pain. "Adam, what's wrong?"

"He kicked me." Adam said through clenched teeth.

"What should I do?" Clare was beginning to get worried. She was hoping Eli would have arrived by now.

"I've got him, Clare." As if by magic, Eli suddenly appeared at Clare's side. "I'll walk him to class, don't worry. See you at lunch?" Before Clare could process and respond, Adam and Eli began to walk away.

I hope you two will be ok. Clare watched longingly as the boys walked away, and then looked at her cell phone. Ah the perfect distraction: an in-class test. She ran up two flights of stairs just making it before her teacher could close the door on her.

"So did you go looking for Fitz or did he come looking for you?" Asked Eli.

"He...found me. He's pissed at us, Eli. He said he owes us major payback for the fake ID and he's not gonna stop until we give in."

"Well that's interesting," said Eli grinning. He caught Adam looking at him. "Not that I'm happy that you got hurt, I just find it amusing that he wants to fight us both when he clearly knows it was all my idea. I think I'm going to have a talk with him at lunch. See if I can't get him to drop this stupid grudge once and for all."

Adam tried to take a deep breath but it was getting harder and harder. "Eli can we stop? I can't breathe." Eli walked them over to a bench and lowered Adam onto it gingerly.

"He really did a number on you, huh?" For once, Eli was completely stone-faced and serious. "You might want to pop into the bathroom really quick before you go to class. That blood isn't just going to evaporate."

"Uhm Eli? What if Fitz doesn't stop? I mean...what if you threaten him or talk to him or whatever, and that just makes it worse? What are we gonna do then? He threatened Clare too."

Eli stared at Adam in disbelief. "Did he now? Well you know what then, Adam? This means all out war. He can pick on us all he wants. We're guys, we can take it. But Clare? If he lays a single hand on her, he's a dead man. Are you with me, Adam?"

Adam looked at Eli, a whole wave of emotions washing over him all at once. He didn't want to disappoint Eli by seeming like a chicken, but he knew he wasn't strong enough to take on Fitz or Owen or any of the other school goons. Adam nodded. "I'm in, man. We stick up for each other."

Eli smiled one of his many mischievous smiles. "Excellent. We'll wait for Fitz to strike first. Then we'll make our move. You ok to keep walking, Adam?" Adam nodded and Eli helped him up. They continued making their way to Adam's class. When they got to the door, Adam leaned against the wall and Eli began to walk away. Adam reached for the door handle. "Adam?"

"Yeah Eli?"

"Don't tell Clare, ok? You know how she feels about fighting. I don't want to upset her unnecessarily. Right now this plan is need-to-know."

"No problem, Eli."

Eli nodded. "See you later."

"Yup." Eli walked off. "See you." Adam sighed, opened the classroom door and walked in slowly.

"Excuse me, Mister Torres. Not only are you late for my class, but you seem to be having trouble with your nose." Said the teacher. "Would you like to offer some kind of feasible explanation or should I just book you for detention and send you to the nurse?"

"Whatever you feel is fair, sir." Adam said quietly.

"You don't seem particularly upset about your situation. Did you do your essay?" Adam nodded. "Very well. No detention for you today but you really should go see the nurse about your nose. Would you like someone to come with you?"

"Nope. I'm good. Thank you, sir." Adam pulled his essay out of his bag, put it on his teacher's desk and walked back through the door. Adam sighed. He had actually been looking forward to getting to class today. Guess what I want doesn't matter as much as I thought it did.

He began slowly making his way down the hall to the nurse's office. As long as I don't run into anymore snags, the rest of the day should be ok.

That's all for now folks. Hope you enjoyed the first chapter :)