A: so here is my second fanfic for Black butler. I do realize that Ciel is a little OOC, but this is years later, and you should listen to "rockleeist" version of the song "why can't I even dream?" on youtube. It gives a greater inpact. OK so on to the fic!

Disclaimer: I do not own Kuroshitsuji or its characters.

Desperate and so lonely, I've looked for you.
And left behind all that I had ever longed for.

Ciel stood in front of his bed room window, in only his night shirt. Night had befallen again, and the full moon shone brightly in the sky. Ciel coughed slightly; blood appearing on his hands. Frustrated, the boy threw open the window, letting the cold winter air into his bedroom.

Cold winds scream through my ears like a banshee.
A freezing chill-
A pain that still will forever haunt me.

"Bocchan, the cold air will only make your condition worse." Said a voice behind the earl. Ciel turned around to see his faithful butler, Sebastian, standing in the doorway. Sebastian made his way across the room to slowly close the window.

Ciel scoffed and turned away from the demon. "Not that anything will make it better." The boy muttered, wiping the blood from the corners of his mouth.

Yet I have made it here
Running through all the fear.
The sadness in my heart
retains the pain.

It had been a year since the completion. Sebastian had tried to take his soul, but something had stopped him. His love for Ciel. The demon began to live with the earl, not only as his butler, but also as his lover. The next six months were heaven for the boy and Sebastian, but suddenly it had turned for the worse.

Ciel had caught a deadly disease.

And if I fall, I've learned
That I may not return.
None of my love remains.

This disease eats away at your organs until they shut down and the only thing left is eternal sleep. Sebastian had done all he could to find a cure, but it was too advanced for the era. Although he was able to find a medicine to ease the pain. The butler had resolved to stay beside Ciel till the end.

Yet I have made it here.
Make this pain disappear.
My one and only, Prince Charming.

Although Ciel did not agree.

And still I wonder,
why can't I even dream?

Sebastian slowly walked over to Ciel and lifted him bridal style to the bed. The butler placed to covers over his small master, then turned to leave but was stopped by a small hand gripping his shirt. Sebastian smiled warmly and crawled into the bed and pulled Ciel into his arms so his face was buried in the butler's chest. Suddenly the young earl began to have a coughing fit. As the coughing subsided, the boy looked down at his hands, seeing his blood splattered all over them. He started to laugh as his eyes began to blur.

"Sebastian?" Ciel whispered.

"Yes, Bocchan?" The butler soothed the boy by running his hands through his hair.

"Please take my soul."

Tears fall like a rainstorm I barely see.
A twisted grin broken within.
Am I going crazy?

Sebastian stopped his menstruations and glared down at Ciel. "Bocchan we've been over this, and the answer is still no." The boy had requested his death multiple times and it had pained him to see the strong willed earl give up so easily. "I will not let you end your life so early."

Yet I have made it here
Bearing this love, my dear.
Bearing the weight of it
upon my knees.

"I love you too much Ciel." Sebastian said in a soothing voice.

At this Ciel began to sob. "Sebastian, no one is allowed to take my life. Not the angel, not the shinigami, and it will certainly not be this disease! Only you!" He paused, snuggling closer to his lover. "You're a demon and thus will live on past me. You will eventually forget me, but my soul will be a reminder of me. Forever within you."

"I will not forget you." The demon hugged Ciel tight to his chest. "Never."

And if I scream your name
It's not returned in same
I bed, forget me please.

Ciel chocked back sobs. "Please Sebastian! Before it's too late."

The butler sighed painfully. "Ok, Ciel." He said his name in a whisper as he tilted the boy's head up.

Yet I have made it here.
Make this pain disappear.
My one and only, Prince Charming.

The early looked straight into his butler's eyes. "You know ever since I met you I have always had only peaceful nights. There were no nightmares, yet there were also no dreams." Sebastian stared at his lover. "I used to ask myself 'why can't I even dream?'" Ciel questioned as the demon looked away painfully.

And still I wonder,
why can't I even dream?

"Maybe now I can dream." The earl smiled for the first time in years. "Goodnight, Sebastian." Ciel closed his eyes.

And still I wonder,
why can't I even dream?

"Goodbye, my lord."

A: …..gosh I don't know what to put at the end. I always write happy and fluffy…..oh jeez, well remember to review or fav, please?