Isabella wouldn't pick up the phone. I'd called her a million times and left her pleading messages, begging her to speak with me. I even sent her another cupcake pussy bouquet, but she had sent it back without comment.

"Dude, are you still moping about the spastic girl?" Carlisle barked at me after the third day. I supposed I really had been subdued; the love of my life - my sweet, big-tittied angel - was ignoring me. I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep. The giant corndog dicks on sticks that had been special ordered even came out shrivelled and sad. All of my cock creations had the same look... as if my misery subconsciously couldn't allow anyone or anything to be happy either.

I grunted in response to Carlisle, and he rolled his eyes, high-tailing it out of the kitchen before I started sobbing, which I had done every single day at least once, and it had nothing to do with my Albert or my tooth. My tooth felt fine now, and my Albert was healing up, even though I couldn't stand the sight of it because it reminded me of a fleshy, dark-haired beauty who was stomping on my heart.

Fairy Butch appeared above my head, crossing his ham-hock thighs daintily after he hopped up on top of the refrigerated case. I thought he was going to start singing or something - I'd had a steady stream of sad-bastard music rolling through my head for days, explaining my penchant for suddenly whining out the chorus of You Were Meant for Me - but he just eyed me warily.

"You know you can probably have sex by now, right?" he asked abruptly, nearly falling off his perch.

"Shut up, man." I felt like a smacked ass for talking back to a fucked up delusion, but I was so far beyond having any sort of pride I had contemplated coming to work this morning without showering the stink of depression off myself.

"Oh, get your shit together! So she sent back your pussy cakes and won't take your calls. Big deal. You need a grander gesture. Something big. Something heartfelt. Or, well... you could switch teams." Fairy Butch licked his lips lasciviously and then disappeared with a lewd twirl of his hips.

I half-considered the idea of sucking cock and then shook my head. Fairy Butch no doubt had a nice set of moobs, but they were nothing in comparison to Isabella's perfect titties. I was only interested in one person's sexy bits, and those were my beloved Isabella's.

He had a point, though - maybe it was time to step up my game. I had to get her back. I had to. My career as an erotic baker obviously depended on it. I eyed the sad excuse for Witch's Teat Tea Cakes; they were deflated and pathetic with wrinkly nipples. It was more than just my job, though. I loved her. Being away from her was killing me.

I threw down my pastry bag in disgust and unbuttoned my whites. I couldn't be here. No, this was the day I would get back my Isabella, my little sugar booger. She would be mine. It didn't matter what I had to do.

Peeling off my coat with grim determination, I made my way out to the sales floor. Carlisle idly doodled stick figures with huge tits on a piece of scrap paper.

"What's up, Edward?" he asked without emotion. He didn't even look up.

"I have to take the day off."

His head snapped up, his eyes taking in my stony, resolved face. Or maybe he was just noticing the dark circles of sleeplessness there.

"Well, it's about fucking time, douchenut. Go tap that ass. I can hold down the fort."

I ignored his implication that I was about to go and fuck my delectable dumpling and tossed my jacket behind the register, leaving the Pink Cookie without a word. I had no plan, but I decided to start with the root of our problem: Dr. Newton and his assistant, Jasper.

-({})-

"But you said I needed to man up."

Jasper giggled and put his hand on my knee. "No, I told you to nut up. But I was wrong - she doesn't want you to hurt her."

"What?" My eyebrows drew up in confusion.

Dr. Newton sighed, his feet dangling off the floor as he sat next to Jasper on the chairs in his waiting room. "He's right," he said kindly. "After we left your apartment, Isabella told us all about you. She's upset that you think she's been doing something untoward with me."

"It's really not that freaky, you know." Jasper withdrew his fingers from my leg and played idly with Dr. Newton's hair. "A little drilling here, a little Novocain there. It's a really common thing. I enjoy the suction myself, but that's - "

"Uh, what Jasper is trying to say," Dr. Newton shot a withering glance at Jasper, "is that Isabella will come around if you just let her know you understand her philia, and you accept her and love her without reservation."

"Everybody just wants to be loved for who they are," Jasper added, smiling fondly down at the diminutive dentist next to him.

"But I do love her without reservation," I protested and tugged at my ridiculously unruly hair. My heart felt like it was beaten into a gelatinous mush by a Cuisinart, and my hair now matched. Surely Isabella's friends could see that my intentions were pure. "I love her," I repeated pathetically. "I just want the chance to explain to her how I feel. She needs to know I'll accept every part of her."

Dr. Newton smiled fondly at Jasper, sharing a moment I was pretty sure I didn't want to understand. "Yes, Edward," he said kindly to me, "I do believe you. Unfortunately, Isabella is really hurting right now… I'm not sure she'll listen to reason."

"Please?" I begged like a complete schmuck. "Please let her know how I feel? I can't stand the thought of her in pain. She has to know! She has to understand the, well, frankly insane depth of my feelings for her. Honestly, there's nothing I wouldn't do to prove my love for her."

"Nothing?" Jasper's eyebrows practically raised off his head.

"Nothing," I insisted, throwing myself at his gargantuan feet.

"Gianna," Dr. Newton suddenly called to the receptionist. "Clear the afternoon for me and fetch me scrubs and a coat in size…" he appraised me carefully and concluded, "large."

"Oh! This should be fun." Jasper grabbed me by the wrinkled collar of my shirt and frowned suddenly. "You smell like a turd," he explained thoughtfully. "Mind you, a sexy turd, but still... you're going to need a shower before we do anything."

The sweat of my desperation had obviously made itself known. After all, I had showered this morning, and it wasn't as if my toiling at the Cookie had taken a lot out of me.

"Oh, certainly," Dr. Newton agreed. "Of course he'll need a shower first. Jasper, why don't you go prepare the equipment while I show our guest to the bathroom?"

"You have a shower on site?" I asked warily.

"Yes, indeed! I work long hours, you realize." He ushered me out of the main reception and through a labyrinth of tiny exam rooms boasting malevolent-looking silver trays of what could only be described as medieval torture devices. If I hadn't already been distraught with heartache, the plethora of dental instruments surrounding me would have brought on a full blown panic attack. It didn't matter. No torture could be worse than losing my angel.

"Clean yourself up and put on the scrubs," Dr. Newton instructed when we reached the bathroom.

"Yeah, okay." I took the clothing and towels he passed to me but didn't move.

"We don't have all day, Edward."

"Right... sorry. It's just that, well, why am I putting this on? How is this going to fix things between Isabella and me?"

Dr. Newton huffed impatiently. "You're going to prove to Isabella you understand and accept her. Everything about her."

"I'll do anything," I vowed. I couldn't imagine a request I wouldn't fulfill if it meant getting my sweet cream puff back.

"That's good, because the three of us are going to drill Isabella this afternoon."

Without thinking, I grabbed Newton's collar and lifted him several feet off the ground, effectively pinning him against the wall so we were eye-to-eye. "No one drills Isabella but me," I seethed.

"But... you're... not... a... doctor," he barely managed to say. I may have been pressing a little bit on his windpipe. He coughed and wheezed.

"She's mine," I raged with just enough common sense to loosen my grip on his neck. "At least, she was mine..."

"Put me down, Edward."

I lowered him carefully off the wall, my hands still shaking. Dr. Newton straightened his collar and scowled at me. "This is why she's so mad. Immediately you suspected something unsavory was going to happen."

I lowered my forehead shamefully into my palms and raked my fingers through my hair. "By drill her, you mean... her teeth?"

"Just one tooth." Dr. Newton nodded. "A shallow cavity. I'll do the drilling; you'll do the filling."

"I'm going to... fill her?"

"I think she'll enjoy it."

My dormant cock stirred to life, twitching at the prospect of being reunited with his mistress. I would've explained to him that he misunderstood the dentist's explanation of what was going to happen, but he couldn't be reasoned with. He wanted her... I did too.

"It's not hard," Dr. Newton said inexplicably.

"It is," I disagreed, and my cock nodded against the crotch of my pants. I cupped my junk to rearrange things.

"Er- no. I meant the filling. It's not difficult." He muttered something about me being a perverted freak and shuffled down the hall.

He was right, of course. I was a perverted freak. As soon as I was alone, the need to relieve myself was too great to be ignored.

Quickly stripping out of my clothes, I stepped under the hot stream of the shower and rubbed the head of my cock gently, thinking about my fingers in Isabella's mouth. Instantly my balls tightened and ached. My Albert ring slid against my thumb. Things were feeling better now, which made me happy, although it reminded me of my captivating crumpet. I alternated between feeling turned on while thinking about Isabella's lips on my nuts and feeling like shit because I was certain I'd never get her to forgive me, despite Newton's plan.

Fairy Butch and Fairy Carlisle tangoed above my head, both of them harmonizing. Pump it up until you can feel it, pump it up when you don't really need it, they crooned cheek-to-cheek. I groaned, slicking my palm down the length of my cock. I used to really like Elvis Costello; now I'd never be able to listen to him again without feeling sick to my stomach. My Isabella would never... but what if she did? What if she did give me a second chance?

My dick hardened further as my grip tightened around the base. The sound of the water beating against the tile of the shower drowned out my heavy sighs and light grunts as I sped up my movements until I was furiously tugging on my flesh cannoli. My ragged breath filled the small bathroom as I came against the wall, and I nearly forgot to be depressed as I realized there was no blinding pain from my piercing.

Feeling somewhat refreshed, I dressed in the scrubs Dr. Newton had provided and gave my cock a pat before leaving the bathroom. Loud groaning came from Newton's office as I neared it.

"Oh, Jasper! God, that feels... oh, yeah. Don't stop!"

I backed away from the door, not interested in interrupting. Far be it from me to judge what others did to get them through the day. My foot caught the edge of a carpet runner, though, and I slammed into a small table in the hallway, knocking an ugly painting off the wall.

"Shit!" I yelled as the frame broke. "My fault! I'll... uh, I'll bring you a plate of Ben Wa Truffled Balls tomorrow to make up for it!"

Jasper stuck his head out of Dr. Newton's office, his hair looking as though he'd stuck his finger into an electrical socket. His eyes flickered back and forth between me and the busted painting.

"Uh, don't worry about it." He sighed and rolled his eyes. "Now will you get in here?" When I hesitated, Jasper snickered. "Oh, for Christ's sake! I was giving him a massage, not sucking him off... although if you'd like to see that, I'm sure we can arrange something."

He looked at his watch and squealed. "No time for that anyway! Isabella is due here in an hour!"

-({})-

I heard her before I saw her. Isabella's breathy voice said hello to Dr. Newton, and Jasper asked her how she was doing.

"Terrible. I miss Edward, but I just... he doesn't trust me, and I can't let myself give him another chance."

"Don't be so sure, honey," Jasper replied. "Life has a way of surprising you."

"Oh, he surprised me, all right," she said sourly. My heart clenched; she hated me. Hated me! "I miss his cock." Her voice was so sad.

She missed my dick? I'd give her all I could if she'd let me. I would ply her with more cock than she could handle - every day, all day.

"It was just so... delicious," she sighed. "Really, the most moist cock I've ever had. And the buttercream!"

I peeked around the corner to watch her eyebrow twitch out of control. She daintily slid her luscious thighs against the vinyl of the reclining dentist's chair, her skin squeaking sharply. I would feed her buttercream by the gallon.

"Well, let's just get you strapped in, okay?" Jasper grinned at my beautiful goddess, and my teeth ground together almost painfully. I wanted to be the only one to restrain those delicate wrists.

"We're only doing a small filling, right? I don't need the cuffs for that, surely?"

"We'll see." Dr. Newton beamed at her, stepping up onto a plastic stool. "Maybe I'll try something new. You should always keep an open mind, you know!"

Isabella nodded solemnly. "Yes, I suppose you're right. Just be sure to warn me if you're going to do a canal."

When Jasper had trussed up my big-tittied angel to his liking, Dr. Newton grinned broadly, pointedly staring in my direction before wielding a drill the size of his head. Had he used that on me? Jesus, that thing looked like it could crack diamonds.

Isabella moaned before the drill even hit her mouth, and I tried not to wince. I only wanted her making that kind of sound when my mouth was on her, but I knew I'd have to get used to sharing her with her dentist. I had to love her for who she was. Twenty minutes later, Jasper beckoned to me.

"Now, Isabella, we have a special guest who will be doing your filling today."

I quickly approached Isabella's head and smiled down at her. She narrowed her eyes at me and then glared at Dr. Newton and Jasper. "Whaaa do yooo fink yer dooin'?" she hissed through her open mouth.

"Don't be mad, my sweet. I... I want to be part of this... for you."

Isabella thrashed in the chair, squealing angrily. "Someone needs her restraints tightened. Edward?" Jasper winked at me. "Be a good girl, Isabella. Edward's gone through a lot of trouble today to learn how to fill your cavity. The least you can do is let him into your mouth."

She huffed indignantly but stopped struggling. I knelt by her side and nuzzled my face against the tender skin of her wrist. "Do you want your cuffs tighter, my sweet, or will you stay still while I fill your hole?"

"Igh-er," she whispered, her mouth now wide open again.

"How's this?" I asked, tightening the restraints gently. "Tight enough?"

She nodded, looking from Newton to Jasper to me, all the while glaring suspiciously but keeping her mouth open like a good girl.

"May I continue, Isabella? The drilling's almost done." Dr. Newton placed the large drill on the table and picked up a smaller one with a long, needle-like bit. "If the pain is too much, use the safe word."

"Okai," she agreed and opened her mouth even wider. I cringed when the drill hit her tooth, but Isabella's eyes seemed to glaze over with lust. Her cries could be heard over the whirring of the drill.

"Does it hurt, my pudding pop?"

"Arhhhhh, Etwart." She said my name like she was going to have an orgasm, her entire body seeming to strain in my direction as her back arched off the chair, and her fingers stretched toward me.

"Keep your mouth open!" Dr. Newton insisted, and Isabella and I both groaned in reply.

"My succulent sugar mound. I've missed you so much." I placed my hand on her thigh and massaged gently.

"Suction!"

"I'll do it!" Jasper trilled, placing a plastic tube in her mouth before I could even react. The shrill scream of metal stopped abruptly and was replaced with the wet sloshing of liquid being sucked through a tube.

"Looks like we're all good here." Dr. Newton placed the drill on the table and handed me a dental gun. "I'll help you guide it into her hole. Just press down the plunger, and make sure the sticky stuff coats the canal."

"Alright." I tried to keep the tremble out of my voice. I rubbed my fingers against Isabella's supple lips and, to my surprise, she kissed my fingers... or at least I think she tried - it was more of a shift of her lips. "I only want to make you happy," I vowed. She opened her mouth widely again and arched her neck, allowing me better access to her hollowed-out tooth. I threaded the wire-like nozzle of the gun inside her hole and pressed tentatively against the trigger.

"Firmer, Edward. Nothing's coming out." Dr. Newton placed his finger over mine and started to press down.

"Buttercream!" Isabella screamed suddenly, and the gun went flying, knocking Jasper in the head. He staggered and giggled wildly.

"What? No, it's cement," I explained.

"Love bug?" Dr. Newton ran to Jasper just as he toppled over.

"Untie me, Edward."

"It's not buttercream, it's-"

"Buttercream's my safe word. I want to stop."

My head whipped from side to side at all the commotion in the room. Isabella struggled against her restraints while the tiny dentist tried to lift Jasper back onto his enormous feet.

"Let me try again, cupcake? I can do this. I want to do this for you." I rubbed the side of her jaw, and she nuzzled against my hand.

"I don't need you to, Edward. I don't want you putting anything in my mouth except your cock."

"I'll bake you a fresh one this afternoon," I promised.

"I wasn't talking about cake." Her eyebrow trembled in an epileptic fit.

-({})-

My apartment was a trash heap. I hadn't cleaned anything since our fight, and my clothes, take out containers, and tear-soaked love notes littered the floor. I hadn't wanted to come here, but Isabella insisted. She said we had to go back to the scene of the crime.

I hadn't even cleaned the broken cock out of the bottom of the sink.

I was mortified as Isabella stood just inside my front door and stared while sniffing the stale, biting air.

"We should have gone to the Cookie or your house," I lamented, making an attempt to gather the empty beer cans from my couch.

"No, it had to be here. And I don't... I don't care if it's messy."

Isabella followed me into the kitchen as I dumped the trash into my garbage can, and she immediately grabbed a sponge from the caddy near the sink and started wiping down counters. I turned and leaned against the counter, watching her with wide eyes.

"What are you doing, my darling dacquoise? You shouldn't be -"

"Are you telling me what to do?" Isabella narrowed her eyes at me and ran the water in the sink, shoving the soggy remains of my dick down the drain before flipping the switch for the garbage disposal.

"No!" I screamed over the grinding gears. "I just want to take care of you! I love you!"

She switched off the motor abruptly and advanced on me aggressively. "I missed you!" she yelled accusingly.

"I... uh, I missed you too." I brushed her hair off her shoulders and gathered it in my fist. "I'm really sorry, Isabella. You have to know - "

"Oh, shut up and kiss me." Isabella's shy grin was back, the perfect pink of her of blush rising out of her shirt and spreading up her cheeks.

"But the apartment... it's a mess."

She hoisted herself up on the counter she'd just cleaned and crooked her finger at me. "Does it look like I care?"

My lips were sucking and tugging at hers seconds later. I figured I should do what she said before she changed her mind. Isabella's tongue was the softest sugar, and I vaguely wondered if maybe I should be gentle with her since I'd just filled her hole. Then I remembered she liked a bit of dental pain and stopped worrying; she'd use her safe word if she needed to stop.

"I need your cock," she muttered against my mouth.

I broke our kiss and licked at her jaw. "I have some extras from your pussy bouquet in the 'fridge." I gasped as Isabella's cold fingers worked the scrub ties at my waist. "That's the best I can do. I... I ran out of eggs last night."

"Screw the pussies."

Oh, how I'd like to. I groaned at her words, still certain she was going to come to her senses and leave me. Isabella slid her hands down the back of my scrub pants to palm my ass, kneading and rolling. Strong hands... she'd probably make excellent bread.

"Isab-"

"I'm serious, Edward. No more waiting or being away from you. What you did for me today... you're perfect for me. Take me to bed and make me your beloved baklava."

My bedroom was the one area of the house not completely trashed by my depression. I buried my face in her neck, nibbling on the hot skin of her throat, and shifted her closer to me with my hand pressed into the small of her back. Her fleshy thighs contracted around my waist, and I could just feel her ankles locking behind me. I hoisted her off the counter, using my free hand to grip around her hips, and staggered toward the hallway.

With each step closer to the bedroom, the muscles in my legs and back screamed. I was a pastry chef, not a weightlifter! Isabella was worth every pain, but I was afraid I'd drop her and ruin the moment. I closed my eyes and buried my nose in her fragrant cleavage, drawing strength from her satiny tits. Resolved, I pressed on and sighed with relief as my knees bumped into the firm edge of my mattress.

I tried to ease Isabella down onto the bed, but strength failed, and I ended up falling heavily on top of her as her back slammed down. She groaned loudly.

"Oh shit! Are you okay?"

"Oh god, yeah! Kiss me!"

So I did. Her lips tasted faintly medicinal, I was guessing from the drill and filling, but I didn't care. She could have tasted like dill flavored earwax and I wouldn't have given a crap. My dick poked at the soft scrub pants, and I could feel my Albert insistently pointing at Isabella. She'd loosened the drawstring, but not enough for them to fall off while I was walking, thankfully. I wondered if it was my new piercing that had thoughtfully kept them up. I'd questioned its usefulness outside of pleasing Isabella, but there were obviously other benefits!

My mind went entirely blank when my wonderful goddess rolled me to the side and reached into the pants, her fingertips gently touching the head of my cock.

"Your piercing... it's... healed?" she asked tentatively.

"Fairy Butch told me I was good to go," I panted into her face.

"Who?"

"Never mind. Yeah, as long as I wear a condom. No bodily fluids except my own for now."

She gently fingered the ring protruding from the slit and followed it around to the hole in my frenulum. "I can't wait until you can fill my mouth with this."

"There are other places I can fill."

Her eyebrow twitched. Did it twitch for me? My heart leaped in my chest. I gently pulled her sweater up over her ribs, exposing her pink bra. Her nipples were hard, poking up at the satin. She moaned when I sucked one into my mouth, wetting the fabric and biting down lightly. It was ecstasy - I was in heaven with my angel.

After that, we both pawed at the clothes the other wore, determined to get naked as quickly as possible. With a final tug of her pants, she lay on my bed, spread out, bare except for a pair of Hello Kitty socks I opted to let her keep on because it was slightly chilly in my apartment. I was sad to see her vajazzles were gone, but maybe it was for the best - while Dr. Newton and Jasper had helped bring Isabella and I back together, I wasn't interested in another house call so soon.

"You skin is like cream, sugar booger," I murmured, kissing each kneecap as I moved my lips up her body, pushing her legs apart.

Isabella's hands snarled in my hair, tugging at me to come closer to her pussy. It was so lovely and perfect, far better than anything I had sculpted in my career. I pressed a lingering kiss to her plump lips, tickling my tongue between them while she squirmed. My hands coasted across her thighs and under her ass, pressing her to my face more firmly as I enjoyed the sweetness of her pussy.

"Buttercream!" Isabella squealed.

I yanked my head away from her. "Oh! Are you... did I do something wrong? Did you change your mind?"

Isabella propped herself up on my bed with her elbows and looked at me quizzically as her ample chest heaved. "What?"

"Your safe word."

"Oh! Oh, no. Not that. I mean, I want buttercream. You have some, right?"

"Well, of course. I mixed up a batch of chocolate buttercream last night." In fact, the only thing currently in my fridge were the bowls of flavored cream I'd been whipping each night we were apart to pay homage to my sugary sweetheart.

"Can I have it? Can I have your cream?"

"Don't move!" I ran out of the room as I yelled and hobbled through my cluttered living room into the kitchen, narrowly missing a mountain of empty Coke cans. Opening the fridge, I piled bowls in my arms and grabbed a pastry brush for good measure. It was another miracle I managed to make it back to the bedroom without wiping out, considering the fact I couldn't see over the bowls of buttercream.

"Oh, god," Isabella moaned when she saw how well stocked I was in sweet treats. She stood and plucked at her tits, just as Fantasy Isabella once had. I dropped the bowls onto my dresser so I could have an unobstructed view.

"I want them," I said pathetically to her nipples, attaching my mouth to her left bud. I teased and licked, and she wrapped her hand around the base of my cock.

"Put a condom on, Edward," she ordered.

"Not yet."

"Yes. Now. Put a condom on and give me a bowl of... do you have vanilla?"

I grabbed a box of condoms from the nightstand and ripped the lid off. Yeah, the box was unopened. It had been a really, really long time since I'd made love. I rolled the latex carefully over my cock, pinching the receptacle end gently in deference to my Albert, and gave Isabella my cream.

"I want to eat your cock," she explained and dipped the pastry brush into the bowl, kneeling in front of me. "Hold still."

"Oh, holy fuck," I grunted. She painted the condom in strips of vanilla until it was covered in sugar and then looked up.

"No body fluids," she explained. "I'm sorry, but I just couldn't wait to have your cock in my mouth." She kissed the tip of my dick, the heat of her mouth through the condom nearly pushing me over the edge. I lost my hands in her soft hair, cradling the back of her head and ignoring every impulse to fuck her mouth. Instead, I gently massaged her scalp.

She engulfed my whole creamed dick in her mouth, sucking and licking until not even a trace of icing remained. My eyes had rolled back in my head, and I was fairly certain I saw both Fairy Butch and Fairy Carlisle applauding and giving me the thumbs up while I panted.

Isabella pulled away, licking her lips. "Thank god you didn't buy rubbers with spermicide. I don't think that would have tasted too good."

I didn't think latex would taste good with or without the spermicide, but I didn't say anything. To each her own. And really, if Isabella had gotten pierced, I knew I'd do anything for the opportunity to get my tongue on her love button.

Isabella slowly slid her body up my leg, her hot pussy pressing against my thigh as she rolled the condom off and tossed it onto my dresser.

"Sorry to waste one, but the last thing I want is a urinary tract infection. I like a bit of dental pain, but I draw the line at burning while I pee."

"That's okay, my darling. I'll never hurt you... unless you want me to."

Her hand was back on my crotch, stroking the skin of my cock. "You really do have a pretty peen."

My chest puffed out a bit in obvious pride. "Oh, uh, well, thank you."

"I can't wait until you're entirely healed." My dick firmed under her touch, her words making my balls tighten and contract. She released me and pushed me firmly against the bed, shoving me again until I fell on my back. "Until then, I'm going to eat your cream off every surface."

I felt a little giddy, and the compulsion to squeal in happiness was nearly too much. Instead I smiled at her gratefully. "The chocolate buttercream is in the yellow bowl."

Her eyebrow twitched faster now, and I watched her discard the cling wrap that covered the container. My dick reached toward her, wanting the warmth of her hand or her mouth or whatever else she might give me. Hell, it would have been happy to be firmly ensconced in her kneepit.

She reached in for a finger full of chocolate cream and gurgled in delight as she sucked it off. I had to admit to being rather joyful about it myself.

"You're a fucking artist, Edward." She plopped a dollop of cream on each of my nipples, and I shuddered from the cold. "I'm feeling rather creative today myself."

More buttercream landed on each kneecap, the tips of my toes, my chin, and my forehead. She dipped the pastry brush into the bowl and drew thick lines across my shoulders and down the line of hair on my stomach. I was slathered in cream, all except for my dick.

With an emotional look in her eyes, Isabella rolled a new condom onto my cock, taking care not to jostle my piercing. I was straining for her now, trying not to move so I didn't bump any of the buttercream from where Isabella had so carefully placed it.

"Stay right there," she ordered, her tits swaying with her movement as she turned and opened another bowl.

"Chai tea buttercream," I said helpfully as she scrunched her face in confusion.

She brightened considerably. That'll go great with the chocolate, don't you think?"

"Oh, uh, yeah. Good combination." My fingers itched to bury themselves into her wetness as she slathered a layer of the cream across her chest, painting lines across the rounded softness of her belly and hips.

"Isabella, you look good enough to eat."

"Yeah, I'll let you get back to that... later."

My dick bobbed again, the light from my ceiling fan shining dully off the latex.

"Do you love me, Edward?"

"I do. I love you more than anything." I grunted as Isabella climbed onto the bed, leaving smears of icing on my comforter, and swung her leg over me. She kept her hips from touching mine but lowered her upper body to my chest, smearing the creams together. She moaned and licked buttercream off my chin. My hands flexed, instinctively gripping the flesh of her ass.

Isabella gripped my cock and positioned herself over me, my brain bursting as she sank down enough to insert my tip into her.

"Is that okay?"

"Okay?" I croaked, squeezing her skin to keep myself from pulling her down. "You feel... "

She inched down further. "Oh god! I can feel the ring!"

So could I - the pressure from her walls was pushing the ring, which felt... not bad, just different. I trembled and shifted my hips just as she wriggled, every last blessed inch of my dick fitting into her firm, hot grip.

She squirmed against me again, her tits sliding slick against my chest. She closed her eyes and kissed me soundly.

"I love you!" she called, retracting her hips and pumping them back down. The slurp of buttercream squicked between us as I slid my thumb along the crack of her plump ass. I helped her set a rhythm, Isabella cranking her hips back and me guiding her hips forward to slam against me. The condom did nothing to dull my senses - I could still feel every groove and ridge of her, and she seemed to like the rubbing of my Albert. My toes started to tingle almost immediately, and my stomach felt fizzy and agitated, tension building in the muscles of my legs.

She moved, I moved. I thrusted, she moaned. She tilted her hips, I grunted. We groaned together as she rolled her hips in a complicated triquetra, leaving me on a knife blade. She came with a loud shout, her inner muscles squeezing me as she froze, her face the perfect mask of pleasure. When she regained control, she sank down on me one last time, and I wheezed, panting as my hips wildly bucked out of control, and I came to the feeling of Isabella licking buttercream off my neck.

Isabella collapsed on top of me, her hair catching in the stickiness on my skin. With a giggle, she pulled a few strands free and laid her cheek against mine.

"Buttercream," she murmured into my ear.

My heart stopped. Was she... was she using her safeword this time? Did she want to stop? I prepared to have my heart broken again.

"You're not safe for me." She peeled herself off my chest and carefully helped me pull out of her. "You have my whole heart."

I breathed a sigh of relief at her words. "I'll guard it forever. You are safe with me."

"I love you, Edward."

I scraped some buttercream from my forehead and combined it with some chai tea cream stuck in Bella's ear and offered her my finger. "Forever, sugar booger."

Fin

A/N: Many thanks to you for sticking with BellaFlan and Mac during this admittedly cracktastic collaboration. A Ben Wa Truffled Ball for you if you review, and maybe we'll slip you a Baker's Dozen if you admit you like it… sugary.

Thanks, too, to JKane180 and Askthemagic8ball, our beta editors, and JewelzP, our prereader, for suffering through the insanity.

I'm sure you're already reading BellaFlan's other fantastic work (this is Mac, so I'm allowed to say that), and you probably want to read the collab she's working on with DoUTrustMoi (I read the first chapter the other day while beta-ing – that shit is hilariously bizarre!).

For Mac, she just wishes to say thanks for all the fish. It's been fun!