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"Dammit, Francis!" The thundering of three men's footsteps echoed through the nearly empty streets. The only ones that were actually walking around moved away at the sight of the three as they ran. The man leading was one with long blonde hair who was laughing, being chased by a pale-haired red-eyed man with a beat-red face, who screamed his head off, quickly followed by a tan man with a worried look on his face.

"Come on, Gilbert!" Cried the tan man, holding up a bottle of beer that was dripping onto the street, creating a trail behind them. "He's drunk! He didn't know what he was doing!"
"I don't fucking care!" Screamed the red-eyed man, "I'll get him! It's bad enough he stole my cell! Sending THAT to West tears it!" As soon as he managed to get close enough, he yanked at the back of Francis's shirt, making him stop in his tracks. The tan man didn't realize this, and his forehead collided with the back of Gilbert's head. The force of it made him fall back, hit his head hard on the street, and spill the beer all over his face and the ground.

"Eh..."

"Toni!" Francis and Gilbert shouted, and knelt down to their friend. They stared in amazement at the large bump on his head, and Gil quietly mumbled 'holy shit' about how we managed, in his awesomeness, to give someone that much of a hit and barely feel anything himself. But at Francis' next move, the man forgot all about his awesomeness to kick the french man.

"The fuck are you doing?" Gilbert shouted. He knew he shouldn't be shocked with everything that happened when he was around Francis, but he couldn't help it. Every single time he was around Francis, the day ended up strange, albeit hilarious. Licking Antonio's face definately qualified as one of these things.

"I don't have anything to clean it up with, and if he stays passed out, he'll choke on it," Francis replied. Amazingly, he had a point. With him being naked...Gilbert sighed, somewhat ashamed of the fact that he actually forgot that he had been chasing a NAKED man down the street.

"Hold on, lemme just..." Gilbert took off his jacket, and looked back to his friends. He stopped dead in his tracks, watching Francis lock lips with Antonio. "The...THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?" At the noise,

"Mf...Mumf?" Antonio opened his eyes, which grew as wide as a deer's when he realized what Frances was doing. While he attempted to push away, he stared at Gilbert, begging for help with his eyes. Not knowing what to do, Gilbert looked around at the now completely empty street. To his last resort, he lifted his jacket and began beating Frances with it.

"OW!" Francis screamed, and let go of Antonio to clutch his own head. "I was just-" He looked over at his Spanish friend and mumbled with too much nonchalant, "Hmn, you're awake."

"Damn right, he's awake!" Gilbert snapped and sighed in relief. "Jesus, this is why we always get kicked out of the clubs." He looked back at Francis with a grimace and threw his jacket at him. "Put some clothes on, idiot."

Antonio rubbed his sleeve across his face to wipe up the saliva and beer left on his face. He sighed deeply, followed by a laughing fit. He lay down again, still laughing. Gilbert and Francis joined in, their laughs booming louder than their footsteps had.

"So," Francis asked after the laughing had stopped, "What next?" The three exchanged glances. After moments, Antonio shrugged, and Gilbert grinned. "Eh? What is it?" Francis asked, watching Gilbert.

"Pranks."

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Thus, The Bad Touch Trio began their series of pranks on all the countries, ranging from perverted to just plain hilarious.

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The three sat at Antonio's house, sitting on barstools around a small table that had various things on it, including chili peppers, a large amount of tequila and other alcohols, as well as tomatoes, cheese, and the dough of a few uncooked pizzas.

"Remember, you have to make it look really good," Antonio scolded, throwing and spinning pizza dough and watching Francis and Gilbert attempt to make a pizza. "It originated in their country. They'll know if it's false!"

"Yea, yea, we know," Gilbert said, throwing tomatoes and cheese onto another piece of dough. "This shit's gonna be hilarious."

"Gil~bert," Francis said seductively, a grin on his face as he poured various alcohols into a cup that used to be full of coke. "What're you going to do? I have Feliciano, Antonio has Lovino You have nobody, unless you'd like to threesome with m-"

"Shut up, pervert!" Gilbert snapped, his face as red as the tomato he had just thrown at Francis. "We aren't going to do that! The plan was to make them never want anything spicy again!"

"Aw, look how embarrassed he is," Antonio laughed, glancing at Gilbert. When a tomato was thrown towards his face, he easily caught it and smashed the dough into his face. "Don't worry, Gilbert," he said, "We'll get to Lizzy and Roddie soon."

Gilbert shot his friend an angered look, which both Antonio and Francis laughed at. His face turned redder by this, and he pushed his friends away with a disgusted look. "Don't touch my ass!"

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Gilbert, Antonio, and Francis high-fived each other with grins. Antonio and Francis held a few boxes of pizza, while Gilbert rang the doorbell. After a minute, Lovino answered, a scowl on his face. He examined the situation with a raised eyebrow. "What the hell are you three up to?"

"Don't be mean!" Antonio said with a smile. "We just brought some pizza. Thought you'd like it."

"We can make our o-" Lovino stepped back as Gilbert opened the door wider, gripping the doorknob from the side of the door opposite to him so Lovino wouldn't close it. "Come on, Toni forced us into making them. You could at least try it!" Lovino swatted Gilbert's hand away and closed the door.

"Bastards. I can tell what they're up to," the Italian muttered. He glanced at the clock and rubbed his eyes with a yawn. "Nng...!" His eyes widened, and he began rubbing more. "The fuck...? Ow...SHIT! SHIT! SHITSHITSHIT!" he rubbed his eyes furiously and ran to the bathroom, catching the eye of a worrisome Feliciano.

"Big brother? What's wrong?" He asked. He turned and walked over to the door when the doorbell rang again, confused when Antonio, Gilbert, and Francis pushed him aside and walked in.

"You should really wash your hands after touching doorknobs," Antonio said when he walked to Lovino. He pulled at the angry boy's hair with a grin, "You never know what there'll be pepper juice on it." He got out a piece of wet cloth and dabbed Lovino's eyes with it, getting a strange enjoyment in the punches that he was getting from the angry Italian.

"B-bastard!" Lovino growled as he washed his eyes out. "The fuck is wrong with you?"

"We're what's wrong with him," Gilbert laughed, patting Francis' back. "Right, Fra-"

"Gilbert, what are you doing?" Ludwig asked as he moved into the room, his arms crossed and a disciplined look on his face. The three stopped in their tracks, slowly realizing that they wouldn't start as much shit as they'd hoped.

"W-West?" The trio watched at Ludwig walked outside calmly, and walked back inside with a hose in his hand. "What're you doing...?" Within a second, the bulky man flicked on the hose, which made the three go running out the door from where ever they had been standing. The twins stared quietly as Ludwig followed them out, being sure to spray them all equally.

"FUUUCK!"

"IT'S FREEZING!"

"MY HAIRRRR!"

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PLEASE REVIEW/COMMENT

After watching a few Bad Touch Trio amvs, I got the idea for this. These three have been my latest obsession, and their adventures are so damn hilarious to write. Even if the manga doesn't have them canon, they're pretty much accepted as it. Hmn, their first prank wasn't very successful. Wait till the shit they get into next time with Elizabeth and Roderich...
If you have an idea for a prank or which character you want pranked next, tell me. I'll try to fit them in~ Also, please point out if you see an error.