I own nothing of NCIS :(

Here we go! The end of this story arrived and I can't find the right words to thank all of you for your reviews, favorites, alerts and pm. You all have been really important to me throughout these years and your enthusiasm helped me to overcome the writer's blocks I had.

Thank you, Laine3112 and Callisto-HK for your help and support. Girls, you're great!

A special thank you to all my BRs: ErikaaDiLante, ncismom, Headbanger Rockstar, usa123 (thanks for the Marvel movies idea for the State Department Agents' names. Brilliant!). You've been amazing with me and this story!

"Regrets and..."

Epilogue.

About two weeks later.

It'd been sixteen days since the shooting at the cabin in Pennsylvania. It was a bright morning and Tony was driving to NCIS Navy Yard.

It was his first day back in the office and, though he'd be tied to his desk for another week before being allowed to get back in the field, the MCRT SFA was happy and as ready to get back in game as he'd never been in his whole life.

Tony had spent the first ten days at Gibbs' house, since his Boss had invited... correction...ordered him to stay at his place.

The SFA chuckled and shook his head remembering Gibbs' gentle invitation.

"Pack your bag, get into the car. You're coming home with me."

"But, Gibbs..." he had tried.

"Not a word, DiNozzo."

And those four words had ended any further protest or discussion.

They had been ten nice and pleasant days, spent sanding, working in the backyard, walking and jogging in Rock Creek Park and re-training at the shooting range.

Gibbs and Tony spent the evenings on the porch, either enjoying the warm July breeze in silence or talking about everything and anything. Gibbs had surprised Tony by talking almost more than his SFA.

During one of those long talks, that sometimes lasted 'til early the next morning, they discussed Ziva's future.

"So?" Gibbs asked cryptically, startling Tony who choked on his beer.

"So, what?" Tony replied, when he had caught his breath.

"Ziva."

Tony turned to his boss and stared at him with a troubled look. Then he turned his gaze back to the yard lit by the moonlight.

He took a deep breath, but didn't utter a word, pondering what needed to be done.

DiNozzo had thought about Ziva and what she had done many times since their return to DC, but he had never come up with a final decision.

"I talked to Director Morrow and..."

"I wondered where you were this morning," Tony interrupted, smirking.

"He said that it's all up to you," Gibbs finished calmly.

"To me? Shouldn't Morrow be making that decision? She's his employee after all," Tony said, not bothering to hide his irritation. He felt like everyone around him was washing their hands of this mess and unloading the burden of deciding a woman's future on him.

Maybe the old Tony would have thought about it for a few hours and then would have decided without any doubts, but that man had died in Mexico.

In moments like this, Tony realized that he had lost some of his self-confidence and he hated it. He was tired of struggling to get his life and personality back and, every time he felt he was getting better physically and emotionally, someone arrived and destroyed all he had painstakingly rebuilt.

Tony put the bottle of beer down on the floor. He stood up abruptly and winced when the movement pulled on his still-healing wounds. He swayed ever so slightly.

Gibbs shot off his chaise-lounge and was at Tony's side in an instant to help steady him, but his SFA did the unexpected: Tony angrily shrugged off Gibbs' hand.

He left the porch and walked to the middle of the yard. Gibbs stayed on the porch, observing his friend's body language.

It had been a long time since he had seen Tony so tense and nervous. Even when Portman had entered the cabin, Tony had been shocked at first but then he had been tough, sneaky and lethal.

Now his SFA looked like a caged lion. He looked so nervous, it seemed like he wanted to escape from his own skin.

The older man slowly descended the stairs and stopped right next to his SFA. "Tony?" he whispered and tentatively brushed DiNozzo's arm.

That light touch was enough to unleash the storm that Tony felt in his heart.

"WHAT?!" he burst out. "What do you want me to do? Decide a woman's future like God? Decide how to destroy her life?! Because ya know that Ziva's life will be over... and... and," he took some deep breaths as he walked away from Gibbs. "You want me to be her executioner?! How can I decide her future," he turned and looked straight into Gibbs' eyes, "when I don't know what to do with my own life?!"

"Tony, I thought you wanted to get back..."

"Back? Back, where? Back to what?" Tony continued, the words flooding out of his mouth before he could stop them. "Back to NCIS and my life as if nothing happened? Should I erase what happened in Mexico just like that?" he snapped his fingers. "So then you'll all be happy again?!"

"Tony..." Gibbs was taken aback by his friend's reaction.

"Ya know how hard it is for me to act like nothing happened because this is what you all expect from me?" Tony asked, suddenly much calmer. "You can't even imagine how much I'd like to be the man who left DC only a month ago." He swallowed around the lump in his throat. "But I can't." He lowered his eyes and his shoulders slumped. "Gibbs... I can't be that Tony anymore and...and... I don't know what to do to get my life back," he blinked hard, trying to clear the tears that were blurring his vision.

Gibbs stared at his surrogate son, his heart aching. He squeezed Tony's shoulder gently before pulling him into a tight hug.

He could feel Tony's body trembling with the effort of not crying. "I'm sorry, Tony," he whispered. "We shouldn't have pushed you so hard."

"Gibbs, I..."

"Shhhh... you're right. We expected too much and too soon. I know that it's hard...the hardest thing you've ever done. That trip in Mexico that almost killed you, changed you and..."

"No," Tony whispered into Gibbs' neck.

"Yes, Tony, but it's normal. You shouldn't feel ashamed because you can't give us the man we've known for so many years."

Tony looked up at him. "I can't hide what I feel anymore and..." he trailed off, lost.

"Maybe it's time to let people see the man behind the mask," Gibbs suggested.

Tony shook his head and stepped out of Gibbs' embrace.

He looked worried by what Gibbs had just said but the older man didn't let Tony's clear discomfort stop him. "I'm sure that people would be happy to meet the sweet, caring, loyal, honest and ultra-protective man who always had our backs. The man who is always there when Abby needs a hug," he saw a small, sweet smile grace Tony's face. "Or the man that was by McGee's side when he visited Kate in autopsy," Gibbs' voice faltered a bit, "and never doubted him when he killed that cop. You taught McGee how to be a good agent and your teasing and jokes toughened him up so he could face the bad days of our job."

Gibbs dropped his hands to his sides but didn't step away. "And what about the man who wasn't afraid of being beaten and drugged by a terrorist just to avenge and then save a friend?"

"Tony, you've always had our sixes. You've saved all our lives so many times." He tapped Tony's chest with his finger. "You dove in that dirty water to save my and Maddy's lives without a second thought for your safety and scared lungs."

"I was just doing my job, Gibbs…"

"No, that was beyond your job and it's time to take credit for it," the former Marine squeezed the nape of Tony's neck. "Just as it's time to show people the real Anthony DiNozzo. The man only the luckiest ones get to know."

"What if they don't like this Tony?"

"I'm sure they will."

"I'm scared, Gibbs," Tony whispered after a moment, barely audible.

Gibbs pulled Tony into a bear hug. "I know," he whispered into Tony's ear. "But you're not alone. We'll be always by your side and we won't force you to be who you're not anymore."

"Thanks," Tony mumbled.

"Anytime, Tony."

They looked at each other and Gibbs saw a brighter light in Tony's eyes. They slowly walked back to the porch and sat down on the stairs.

"I don't know what to do with Ziva," DiNozzo sighed as he looked at his friend.

"I think you know what you want to do, but you're sure I won't approve it," Gibbs smirked.

"Won't you?" Tony smirked back and saw Gibbs nod.

"But it's your decision and, if this is what will make you feel better, it'll work for me too."

"Really?" Tony asked doubtfully.

"Yep. I told I'd have your six."

"Yes, but..."

"No buts. You decide and we'll make it happen... though I'm sure many people won't like it," he chuckled and Tony did the same.

They enjoyed the silence for a few more minutes, but when Tony yawned, they decided it was time to hit the rack.

They silently climbed the stairs and, when Gibbs was about to enter his bedroom, Tony stopped him by saying, "All the things you said about the man behind the mask and the real Anthony…"

"Yeah?"

"Uhm... thank you," the younger man blushed, lowering his gaze.

"You should thank McGee not me," Gibbs replied and saw Tony frown. "He said those things at your funeral." Tony's eyes widened. "The priest asked if someone wanted to say something and McGee volunteered."

"McGee?" Tony couldn't believe it.

"Yep. He called you his SFA, his elder brother and his best friend," Gibbs said, still proud of his junior agent.

Tony was speechless, his eyes filling with tears. "I didn't think he saw me in that way."

"He didn't either. He realized it when he lost you," Gibbs nodded. "Go to bed, Tony. Tomorrow'll be a tough day."

Next day.

The next morning, Ziva walked into the kitchen to see Tony sitting at the table in front of her. His posture was tense but overall he looked more at peace than he had been over the last few weeks. Gibbs was nowhere to be seen, but both of them knew that the Marine would appear immediately if things didn't go smoothly.

She tried to look calm and in control, but her overly rigid posture and the anger in her eyes said otherwise. She already knew that they didn't want her on their team anymore, but she had the feeling that there was more in store for her. "I thought you wanted to give me a second chance after our talk in the hospital," she challenged him.

"I did," Tony said calmly.

"Now you decided you wanted me off your team. Why?" she pierced him with a furious glare.

"What I learned after that and what happened at the cabin made me change my mind," Tony stood up and put his empty iced tea glass in the sink. Then he turned to face her and leaned against the counter.

"I had to talk to you. I didn't think that—" She tried to justify her recent actions.

"Yep, you didn't think, Ziva," Tony nodded. "You just did what you felt was right for you and only you."

"Say it!" she spat. "Say that you are still angry for what happened in Israel."

"And you still think I deserved it, don't you?" Tony shot back. When she didn't immediately reply, he continued. "Your silence speaks volumes, Ziva."

In that moment Ziva realized Tony could read her like an open book. He knew she needed to make him change his mind immediately or her chance to manipulate him into letting her stay in US and on the team would be over.

"No, Tony. I know that I..."

"Enough," Tony interrupted. "No more lies, no more manipulation, Ziva. Your citizenship will be revoked as soon as you hand your passport to an official of State Department this afternoon." He briefly looked out of the window and saw a car parking in front of Gibbs' house. "Two of their best agents had just arrived." They both heard the bell ringing and saw Gibbs crossing the hallway. "They're here to run you out of Dodge."

The two agents and Gibbs entered the kitchen. "You need to tell us where you want to go. You'll leave from Dulles Airport tomorrow morning and won't have permission to enter the US for the rest of your life," Tony added.

"NO!" she shouted, terror clear in her eyes. "You can't do that!"

In two steps, she was in front of Tony. "You can't do that!" she cried at the top of her lungs as she pushed him violently.

Gibbs and the other two men in the room moved to help Tony, but the SFA had already grabbed her arm, twisted it around and shoved her against the sink.

"That was the last time you hurt me," he hissed in her ear.

"Gibbs!" she called. "Make him stop!" Ziva pleaded, sure that her former boss would help her.

"Agent Rushmore, escort Miss David to her place," he ordered. "Pay attention. She can be very dangerous," he warned the senior Agent. "Gibbs..." Ziva whispered, finally realizing defeat was imminent.

"You have no one to blame but yourself," Gibbs said icily, though his heart still ached for the part he had played in what Ziva had done since her arrival on the team. I should have watched her more closely. I shouldn't have always forgiven her and let her manipulate me. I wasn't a good boss or a good father figure. I shouldn't have gotten her back after the Rivkin incident.

"Sir, we're leaving. Do you need us to do anything else for you?" Agent Barton's voice brought the Marine back to reality.

He shook his head and he and Tony watched the State Department Agents escort Ziva out of the house.

Before getting into the government-issued car, Ziva turned to Gibbs and Tony. She stared at them as if she was trying to imprint their faces in her mind and not forget any details.

They looked at her from the porch and, despite knowing Ziva couldn't be part of their team and their life anymore, they felt a deep sadness for her and what could have been, if she had listened to them and learned from her mistakes.

"Why did you not charge me?" she asked Tony.

Gibbs turned to his SFA eager to hear his answer, because even the former Marine hadn't understood Tony's decision completely.

"Because I didn't want you to spend the most part of the rest of your life in jail and," he took a deep breath. "And because, honestly, I don't want to deal with a trail. I want to close the door on this mess as quickly as possible and forget about all of it," Tony answered seriously.

"Forget about me too?" the Israeli woman asked hopefully.

Tony grinned and bit his lower lip. "No one will ever forget about you...we've been through too much together," he added sadly. "But we'll move on. These last years have been really tough and changed all of us."

"They say we get better with changes though." He said looking at Gibbs, then he turned back and looked straight into Ziva's brown eyes. "When we replaced Blackadder with Kate, we definitely got better. I hope it'll happen again." Out of the corner of his eye, he saw his boss nod his agreement.

"Goodbye, Ziva," Tony said as he turned his back on his former teammate and entered the house.

Gibbs stared silently at Ziva for a long moment. Then he shook his head and followed his SFA into the house, closing the door on the past.

Still thinking about the last time he had seen Ziva, Tony pulled into a spot at NCIS HQ Parking lot.

He locked his car and slowly walked towards the main entrance. Before entering the building, he turned and looked out at the placid river flowing just a few feet away from him. It was a sunny day and Tony felt happy, calm, confident and ready to embrace his life and his work again. Ready to go!

ooo0ooo0ooo

Tony exited the elevator and was welcomed by loud applause from Abby, Ducky, Palmer, all Agents in the bullpen and even Director Morrow.

The SFA stopped as he felt overwhelmed by that noisy ovation.

He knew that the old Tony would have loved it, but this new Tony was no longer the 'showman' that people knew. Plus this applause reminded him of their return from Somalia.

Gibbs, who was standing at Tony's desk, immediately noticed his reaction. He knew that that applause was a bad idea, but he couldn't stop all people who wanted to show Tony their love, support and happiness at having him back. The Marine was thinking about a way to distract his friend and get him out of that now-painful memory, when he saw Tony smile one of his best fake smiles and bow.

The mask in back in place! Gibbs thought. I just hope you won't wear it around your family too.

Gibbs whispered something to Abby, Palmer and Ducky and they all left the bullpen to give Tony some space.

They knew that that night would be a dinner at Gibbs' place to celebrate Tony's first day in the office and it would also be the opportunity to spend some quality hours with Rosa (who now worked at their favorite cafeteria just outside NCIS main gate), Mike, Leyla and Amira, who had informed her mom and grandpa that, when she got 'big', she wanted to marry Tony because he was "funny, handsome and charming". At that announcement, her grandpa had muttered a comment that luckily only Leyla heard, otherwise the little girl would have learned some very colorful expressions.

"Thank you. Thank you," Tony was cheerfully saying. "I know. You just couldn't live without me," he grinned and shot a brief painful look at Gibbs.

They had one of their silent exchanges then Tony began walking toward his desk. "But now we need to get back to work. Bad guys are waiting for us!"

"Da*n! It was hard," Tony sighed so only Gibbs could hear. The older man squeezed his shoulder reassuringly.

"Remember what we said in my backyard," he said calmly. "Never forget it."

"On it, boss," Tony immediately answered with a mischievous grin. A few seconds later, a hand lightly connected with the crown of his head. Tony glanced up at his boss, who was now wearing a matching grin.

"You're officially back, Tony," McGee exclaimed from his workstation.

"Probie!" the SFA called back, holding his arms out wide.

The banter was stopped by Morrow's arrival. He was carrying a tall stack of files that he put down on Gibbs' desk. The team leader gave their Director a questioning look.

"You need a fourth Agent, Gibbs," Morrow explained. "And these are the candidates. Choose wisely."

Then he left, but not before grinning lopsidedly at Gibbs' glare.

McGee and Tony exchanged an amused look then slowly approached Gibbs' desk,waiting for a reaction.

Gibbs completely ignored them and the stack of files. He just kept reviewing a cold case.

The minutes passed, but the Boss seemed completely unaware of the two men who were stealthily trying to adjust the stack of files the Director had brought so they could see the names.

"Need to hit the head, McGee?" Gibbs asked, without looking up from the file.

"No... no, Boss," Tim hurried to answer as he stopped shifting his weight and glared at DiNozzo.

"It's your first day back on the job, DiNozzo. Shouldn't you catch up on the current investigation?"

"On it, Boss!" Tony hurried back to his desk.

"I'll email you all files, Tony," McGee said as he sat down at his desk as well.

They both stayed silent for almost an hour, typing on their keyboards as if they were working really hard, but the Boss knew his boys better than anyone else and was sure that all that typing was just Tony and McGee chatting and planning a way to take a look at those files without being caught.

Gibbs made them wait another thirty minutes, taking a great pleasure in watching their reaction to any movement he made. He even pretended to leave his desk two times just to sit back down again, clearly hearing two sighs of disappointment from his Agents.

After more than ninety minutes, Gibbs thought he had tormented Tony and McGee enough so, with his usual "I need coffee," he left the bullpen. Instead of heading for the elevator, he rounded the corner that lead to the stairs, and stayed there, just out of sight, observing DiNozzo and McGee.

Tony and Tim looked at each other and then checked the bullpen for any sign of their Boss. When they didn't see him, McGee started to stand up but Tony stopped him with a gesture of his head and scanned the room once again.

You don't trust me, DiNozzo... smart guy! Gibbs chuckled.

Both Agents pretended to work for a few more minutes (just to be safe) and while they were looking at their monitors, Gibbs sneaked towards the stairs that lead to the Director office, quickly climbed the stairs and waited.

"Phil, what can I do for you?" Director Tom Morrow asked.

"I've heard Agent DiNozzo isn't charging Ziva David," the SecNav went straight to the point.

"Yeah," Morrow sighed as he rubbed his eyes. He had been expecting this call from the SecNav, but he still wasn't prepared for it.

"Why?"

"You should ask him."

"I'm asking his Director and, to be honest, I don't want to face Agent DiNozzo right now," Phillip Davenport answered and Morrow heard shame in his voice.

"May I ask you why?"

"I should have better protected my Agents from Mossad and Vance," he seriously answered.

"Yeah, you should have."

"So, why didn't he charge her?"

"Didn't talk to him about it yet, but I've talked to Gibbs. DiNozzo doesn't want to destroy David's life..."

"But she—"

"But mostly he doesn't want to go through the trial and re-live the past few years." Morrow took a deep breath. "I can't blame him."

"I've read the reports and watched the video of the attack. If I were DiNozzo, I'd want to forget everything and move on, too."

"Yep," Morrow agreed. Maybe he didn't have Gibbs' guts, but he had been in business enough to know that there was much more. He could sense that Davenport was stalling, as if he had to deliver bad news but didn't have the guts to do it.

"Why did you call me, Phil?" he insisted.

"I got a call from ICE Director and the DoD Secretary," he began reluctantly.

"And?" Tom prompted, though he knew he wouldn't like what Davenport was going to say.

"They want to charge Ziva David. I—"

"WHAT?!"

"I know. I've already told them that I'm not going to let them drag DiNozzo through this mess again. This time, I'll protect my Agent with all the power I have," Davenport firmly assured his friend.

"But they're going over us, aren't they?"

"Yes," the SecNav sighed. "So I came to an agreement with them."

"What are we going to do?"

Davenport slightly smiled at that 'we'. "The Secretary said they have enough proof to get a heavy sentence against David with Mossad's interference in US Federal Agencies' investigations and unauthorized missions on American soil. So they do not need DiNozzo's deposition unless—"

"Unless David's lawyer finds something to save his client," Morrow finished. "In this case, they'll need all team members' depositions."

"Exactly, but in DiNozzo's case, they'll depose him at NCIS HQ in the presence of only a few people for medical reasons."

"Can DoD do that?" Morrow asked in surprise.

"I guess that DoD and the White House know enough doctors to get that medical report." Morrow could hear Davenport grinning over the phone line.

"Yeah. Let's hope they don't need him. Tony's been through enough. He deserves peace now."

"They won't need him. Trust me," Davenport's confidence tickled Morrow's curiosity.

"Why are you so confident, Phil?"

"From what I've read, they're against Mossad, Eli David and his daughter. They've been gathering intel since her arrival in US and, if I were Eli, I would make my daughter leave this country ASAP and never let any other Mossad officer step on American soil for hundreds of years."

"Really? I'd like to read those files," Morrow chuckled.

"You will. A DoD lawyer is going to deliver a copy of them in a few hours."

"Thanks, Phil."

"When you're finished, let Gibbs and DiNozzo read them... it'll help you convince Agent DiNozzo that he won't need to testify, trust me," the SecNav laughed.

"That's the most important thing for me," the Director of NCIS said sincerely.

"For me too."

Gibbs didn't need to wait long. Five minutes later, Tony and McGee shot out of their chairs, ready to dive into all those files.

"Touch those files and I'll shoot you," Gibbs' voice almost gave them a heart attack.

"Come on, Gibbs!" Tony was the first one to recover as he turned towards the stairs.

"Boss, we'd like to help you," McGee continued.

"Last time, you didn't do such a good job," Gibbs scowled.

"But we're more mature now," Tim replied.

"And wiser," Tony added, earning a doubtful look from Gibbs and a nudge from McGee.

"We can do a better job, Boss," Tim tried again as he looked at Tony and widened his eyes, to push his friend to help him.

"He's right. We've learned our lesson, Boss and..." Tony trailed off as he realized what he need to say to 'manipulate' Gibbs. "This is our team, Gibbs." He put special emphasis on the 'our'.

Gibbs knew exactly what Tony was trying to accomplish with those words but decided to cut him some slack because Tony was right. They were a team and from now on they were going to work and behave like a real one.

He made them wait for a long moment and then nodded. "With me! Take the files! Conference room #3!" he ordered as he climbed the rest of the stairs.

"We need a completely different type of woman, Gibbs," Tony said as they walked together along the hallway.

"What do you mean, DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked.

"We should pick a real probie, Boss. Someone we really need to train. Someone who we can help become part of us slowly. A woman eager to learn and not someone who thinks she knows better than anyone else."

"So a smart woman, huh?" Gibbs grinned.

"Pretty wouldn't hurt," Tony added and earned a Gibbs' trademark glare.

"What about a redhead?" McGee suggested.

Gibbs stopped abruptly. Slowly, he turned to his third-in-command and gave him one of the hardest head slaps he'd ever delivered in his entire life.

"No redhead. Got it," Tim nodded as he rubbed his aching neck.

"What about a blonde?" DiNozzo queried as they entered the conference room.

"This is NOT a beauty contest. We've got to check their skills, not their appearance," the Boss reminded his Agents as they sat at the table, Gibbs at the head with Tony on his right and McGee on his left.

"True, Boss. But ya know... looks count too," Tony winked.

"McGee, we need supplies. Coffee, donuts and whatever you two drink."

"On it, Boss," Tim called the usual diner and placed their order.

"This is going to be a very long day," Gibbs rolled his eyes good-naturedly as they all picked a file and opened it.

Before reading it, he turned and met Tony's eyes. His friend was smiling a real smile and his look was bright.

Tony was healing. He understood that it was safe to let his friends see the real him and, with time, he'd regain his confidence.

They were home, safe and sound.

They were a real team and family again.

That is what really mattered to all of them.

The End.

Thank you so much for your support and faithful reading during this very long journey.

Grazie! :)