A/N: This idea wouldn't leave me alone until it was completed! TA-DAH! On a side note, I actually know someone named Veda and its a badass name. * Real Talk. *
"So let me get this straight, Noah." Rachel stood in front of her locker, holding a grape slushie that Puck had just handed her. "You only dated me because we happened to share the same faith?" She watched as Puck rolled his eyes and handed her a straw.
"No." His eyes shifted. "I mean yes, we share an understanding that only two fellow Jews can share, but c'mon, that's not the only reason."
"Oh, really?" Rachel frowned, looking down at the melting beverage. "What other reason was there, Noah? It sure wasn't to improve your reputation." She looked at him sternly. "Were you just trying to get in my pants?"
"What the hell, Rachel?" Puck's face turned into a scowl. "I don't know what your freaking problem is! You're the one..." he lowered his voice, "you're the one who broke up with me. Also, you didn't even want me to touch your boobs". This time, Rachel rolled her eyes at Puck.
"Are you still not over that?" She sighed, "technically you did 'cop a feel' as they say. I just kept you from doing it for very long."
"Over the shirt. Doesn't count, Berry." Puck smirked. "Did you just say 'cop a feel?'" he snickered.
"Noah, can we get to the point? I know you want something." Puck looked down at the slushie in Rachel's hand and motioned.
"Aren't you going to drink that? I bought it for you." Rachel opened the straw package and stuck the straw in and took a large sip.
"Is that satisfactory, Noah?" Puck sighed and leaned up against the lockers.
"Listen. I need to ask you a favour." Puck crossed his arms and then looked into the big brown eyes of the girl in front of him. She was sipping her slushie out of the corner of her mouth, and if Puck hadn't been Puck he might have found it cute. Maybe.
"Yes?" She said, closing her locker and locking it tight with one hand, still sipping the slushie with the other.
"It's actually kind of fucking funny. I think you're gonna laugh."
"What's funny?"
"I mean, it's actually fucking hilarious if you think about it, that she's thought this for so long, but..."
"What is it, Noah?"
"I need you to come over for dinner tonight." He said quietly, eyes drifting across the busy corridor. Rachel squinted and looked up at Puck in confusion.
"Well I'm honoured your asking me to dinner at your house, I'm naturally curious as to why it is so pertinent that I make an appearance..." Puck looked at her as if she was crazy.
"You couldn't have just said why...?" Rolling his eyes again, he took a deep breath. He had to get this over with. She was going to find out, either way. So he had to do it now. Tell her quickly. It was like pulling off a band-aid.
"My mother..." Rachel was sure he had said something after those first two words but he'd trailed off and mumbled his way through the sentence.
"I'm sorry?" She asked him, and he grimaced.
"Mymotherthinkswe'restilldating." Puck got out and gave Rachel a moment to digest his words.
"What?" She asked and he was afraid he was going to have to say it again. And then:
"What!" She exclaimed, and he knew the words had sunk in. "Noah Puckerman, how on earth does your mother still think we are dating?"
"Uhh..."
"We dated for one week! Last Fall! And Quinn...she had your baby! She lived at your house!" Rachel was shaking her head wildly and waving the slushie he'd given her around in the air.
"Yeah. About all of that. I may have told her a little white lie...that kept getting bigger and harder to explain."
"It doesn't make any sense, Noah! Whatsoever!" Her voice was so loud, he knew everyone in the hallway was now staring at them.
"Would you stop, Berry? You're acting like a psycho!" He pulled her gently by the arm, but she resisted and pulled away. Leaning his head back against the lockers he closed his eyes. "My mother thought you knew about Quinn and that it happened before us so we were trying to work through it."
"Noah...why didn't you just tell your mother we broke up when we broke up!"
"It would've broken her heart, Rachel. When she heard that I was dating a Jewish girl and that it was you...Rachel Berry, fucking singing superstar...she was fucking singing in the shower. Singing. My Mother. In the shower."
"Noah..."
Puck's eyes and voice softened as he spoke to Rachel.
"She's like, proud of me, Berry. My mother...and lord knows I don't give her much of that. I mean this whole Quinn thing was fucking awful...Just come over for dinner tonight. One dinner. That's all I'm asking for." Rachel was finding it hard to resist the expression on his face.
"Then you can go back to your precious Finn. And I can go back to being fucking badass and banging every chick in the school without my ma fucking nagging me about it." Rachel grimaced. So much for the vulnerable Noah she had just gotten a glimpse of.
"That's disgusting, Noah." He just smirked at her.
"So you'll come?" He asked her, hopefully, and Rachel sighed.
"Fine...I guess it could be good practice for my future career in acting." Puck smirked.
"8 o clock." He began to walk away.
"But we are telling her that we are broken up. Tonight. No buts. No exceptions. Your mother is a very kind woman, and I will not support this tangled web of deceit." Puck's eyes widened in horror.
"Rach...please." His eyes darted around again, making sure no one was watching him as he got down on his hands and knees and began to beg the girl in front of him not to quote "tell his mother, she'll fucking kill him." and then began to offer his services in exchange for her silence. Rachel started to blush and make exclamations of outrage as she ushered the boy to his feet.
"Noah! Fine, I won't tell your mother. And I'll go to this dinner. But this is the only time. And you are going to have to tell her eventually..." Puck nodded.
"Much much much later." His smirk returned. Rachel looked down at the melting beverage in her hands.
"Thanks for the slushie." She managed, taking another sip.
Puck turned around and nodded at her. Walking backwards, he said, "Hey... don't forget to wear your knee socks."
"Why? Do knee socks make me look more Jewish?" Rachel looked at him cluelessly.
"Nope." Puck said gruffly. "I just miss them. They're fucking hot."
Cheeks turning red, she rolled her eyes. Rachel turned around and took another drink of her slushie. She tried to ignore the heat rising in her body. Any feeling other than inconvenience right now would be crazy. Wouldn't it?
Rachel stood in front of the mirror in her foyer, taking a last look and smoothing down her skirt. She had no idea why she was so nervous. Maybe it was because she had to lie to Veda Puckerman's face about dating his delinquent yet strangely charming son.
It definitely had nothing to do with being around Noah Puckerman and his lovely arms. And being around his inappropriate comments that weren't completely unwarranted. And the fact that during the Journey medley at Regionals when he sang his solo, she'd had a fleeting daydream about ripping his clothes off. She was pretty sure that was just her crazy teenage hormones. She had a boyfriend. A nice boyfriend who loved her, and who she had been in love with forever. So what if Noah was an attractive young man? She could exercise self control.
She was just heading out the door when she ran straight into a warm body on her porch.
"Noah...? I thought I was going to meet you at your house." Closing the door behind her, Puck put a hand on her lower back and guided her down her walkway to the sidewalk.
"Yeah my mom pretty much ordered me over here to do the "gentlemanly thing" and come pick you up. And that woman is scary, so I'm obviously going to listen to her." Rachel smiled.
"Well, you really didn't need to. You just live down the street..."
"Oh believe me, I needed to." Puck scoffed, "I didn't want to hear about it everyday until the end of time..." The two teens walked down the street towards Puck's house. They had sunk into a semi-comfortable silence when Puck spoke again.
"So what did you tell Finn?" Puck saw Rachel's eyes shift uncomfortably.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, Finn and I might be talking and shit again, but we're not exactly bros, and you two are like attached at the hip...It's sickening."
"I just said I was studying." Rachel shrugged. He gave her a look. "What? It's the truth. I finished all my calculus homework before I headed out."
"Really...?" Puck said in observation as they reached his house. "Finn didn't want to hang out? It's Friday night."
"I was protecting his feelings. He wouldn't have understood why I was helping you." Puck turned to her.
"Why are you helping me?" Rachel couldn't answer that question, and just opened her mouth like a fish, no words coming out.
Puck stared at her intensely and she saw a smile slowly creep across his features.
"Look...Rachel...thank you for this. Just...thanks." Rachel smiled back. As Puck's hand reached for the doorknob on the front door of the Puckerman residence, he turned to her one last time.
"Just so you know, I go to your house all the time. Last weekend, you, me, and your two gay dads went to some shitty musical on Broadway". Rachel's smile disappeared and she began to gape at him.
"Noah...!" She protested, and Puck slipped his hand into hers, dragging her into the house.
"So, Rachel, sweetheart, we haven't seen you around the house in a very long time..." Puck, Rachel, Puck's mother, and Puck's sister Sarah were all sitting at the rarely used kitchen table, about to start eating. "I was beginning to think you didn't want to come over here." Veda Puckerman had a giant smile plastered on her face. She shot a stern look at Puck. "Noah is always going over to your place...and I'm working all the time..."
"Oh it's not that I don't want to come over here at all, Mrs. Puckerman..." Rachel smiled brightly at the woman. "It just happened that way, I guess." She picked up her fork. Veda smiled back and picked up the serving dish in front of her.
"I don't cook very much," She said, "but this is a special occasion." Rachel smiled again, then looked tentatively at the food the older woman was shoveling onto her plate.
"Is there...meat in that?" Rachel asked timidly, and the woman shook her head.
"Of course not, honey. Noah, here told me you were a vegan. Personally, I think you need more meat on your bones, but at least your not eating pork everyday, like Noah...It's not kosher at all, oy vey."
Rachel gave Puck a strange look. He just shrugged back.
"Ma, you eat sweet and sour pork all the time, so don't try and guilt trip me." Puck shoveled some food onto his plate and stuck some into his mouth. Veda just glared at her son, and then turned back enthusiastically to Rachel.
"I'm so sorry I wasn't able to go to your Regionals performance last year, but I hear it was incredible. My Noah singing, and you, Rachel,- I'm sure were spectacular, you have the voice of an angel." Rachel smiled again.
"Oh well thank you so much, Mrs. Puckerman."
"a Jewish angel..." Veda continued, her eyes glazing over a bit. Puck groaned.
"Ma..."
"You know you can call me Veda if you want...I'd prefer it. I mean you have been dating my son for quite awhile now, haven't you?"
"Yes, I suppose so." Rachel nodded, nibbling on her food.
"How long has it been, Noah? A year?" Puck looked at Rachel and smiled insanely wide.
"Yep."
"Well you two must be getting pretty serious then, huh?"
The silence was thick as Rachel and Puck both got very uncomfortable. Puck's little sister sat oblivious, in her own world, trying to feed some of the plate to her doll.
"Well...I don't know if I would say that, exactly." Rachel said, trailing off, eyes wide. She nibbled more at her food. Puck gaped at her and then stood up abruptly.
"Will you excuse us for a second, Ma?" He pulled a bewildered Rachel up by the arm and dragged her out past the living room and into the hall closet.
"What are you doing?" Rachel whispered loudly as he pulled the string on the light bulb above them. "Why are we in a closet!"
"Because my mother has super Jewish hearing and this the only place in the house she's probably not going to hear us."
"That's ridiculous, Noah. What is your problem? I was trying to eat." Puck huffed and rolled his eyes.
"Whatever. You weren't eating. You were nibbling. You eat like a rabbit."
"Ugh. No I don't" Rachel protested, swatting Puck's arm.
"Yes you do. And what the hell was that about Berry? I thought you were a better fucking actress than that, but apparently not. You're supposed to be crazy in love with was what you agreed to. I thought you were gonna help me out!" Puck waved his arms. Rachel's mouth flapped open and shut in protest.
"Noah Puckerman! Are you implying that I am not a good actress?"
"Out there...Yeah. Out there you were shit. I mean I doubted that you even liked me."
"That is offensive. I am an exceptional actress."
"Then be an exceptional actress." Puck placed both of his hands on Rachel's shoulders."Here's your motivation: I'm the fucking hottest thing on the planet and your totally fucking in love with me. You got that?"
Rachel clenched her jaw and took a deep breath. "You're not going to know what hit you, Noah Puckerman..." Rachel exited the closet and sat back at the kitchen table, Noah following closely behind her.
"Everything okay, kids?" Veda asked sweetly, about to attack her son if he did anything to jeopardize this relationship. Puck was about to respond when Rachel opened her mouth.
"Of course, Veda." Rachel gushed. "Everything's great. Noah just feels kind of awkward sharing his feelings sometimes. He just wanted to tell me how in love he was with me. He wanted me to know for sure how he feels about me. Isn't that so sweet?" Rachel placed her hands over her heart. "And of course, I reciprocate those feelings immensely. I really don't know what I'd do without him. He's the love of my life. Our love story is classic. Star-crossed lovers from different worlds- brought together by music. Like Tony and Maria."
Puck began to choke on the food he had been chewing on.
"Noah, are you okay?" His mother asked, concerned, and Rachel put on her best worried face.
"Noah, pookie, are you alright? Are you choking? I know the heimlich maneuver!" Rachel turned to Veda and laughed modestly. "You never know when it will come in handy."
Puck cleared his throat and took a sip of water. "I'm fine." He managed. "Great." Making a face somewhere between a grimace and a smile, Rachel breathed a smile of relief.
"What do I always say, sugar muffin? Chew your food." Rachel shook her head. "Boys, honestly..." Putting a hand on his shoulder and squeezing it, Rachel giggled.
Puck resisted the urge to laugh.
"I'm so glad you kids are so happy..." Veda was beaming. "Especially with the whole...Quinn incident." The way Veda Puckerman said Quinn's name was like she was speaking of cancer. Rachel actually felt bad for the girl.
"Ma..." Puck protested. "Why do you have to bring that up?
"What?" Veda took a sip of her water. "That you have a daughter out there in the world? My grandchild? I'm sorry if that's important to me..."
Puck frowned, and Rachel suddenly felt bad for Puck too. She knew Beth had been important to Puck. And she knew he hadn't wanted to give her up. That was Quinn's decision.
"Mrs. Puckerman..." Rachel began with a small smile at Puck, quickly changing the subject. "Do you know how talented your son is? He's extremely talented. And he has a large repertoire of music. Very few people are able to competently sing different styles of music and your son is one of them. Neil Diamond, Journey, Frank Sinatra, Sammy Davis Jr, even Marky Mark." Puck glanced over at her with thankful eyes.
"Oh, well I always told him he had a talent for music. His father was in a band, you know...But my Noah is so much better than even him, I think. He's always playing that guitar...feels like he hasn't put it down since he was eight years old and he got the thing for Christmas."
Veda smiled proudly at his son, and Puck fought one himself.
"Oh I wish I'd seen him at Regionals. I heard you had a solo. A solo, my son. Mike Chang's mother was there and she told me you all were so great."
"Yes, well we were cheated out of our victory by corrupt judging...something I did not fail to report to the board of show choir directors."
"Oh I heard. It's mishegas...crazy. But I'm sure you were all fantastic anyway. "
"We were fucking awesome." Puck chimed in, back to his charming self, and Veda reached over the table to slap him over the side of the head.
"Watch your language, young man. Who do you think you're talking to? Your sister is sitting right here."
The three of them looked over to Sarah who had covered her doll in mashed potatoes and ketchup and was completely unaware that anyone was talking about her.
"I think her hearing me swear is the least of our worries." Puck commented eying Sarah wearily. Veda frowned again.
"So when am I going to get my Jewish grandbabies?" Veda laughed at the two teens who were taken surprise by her question. "Oh relax. I'm just kidding..."
Puck leaned over to whisper in Rachel's ear. "She's not kidding."
"Well I have my Broadway career to think about, Mrs. Puckerman," Rachel joked, "so I don't plan on having children for a long while.."
Puck breathed a sigh of relief.
"But after I've established myself as a seasoned actor on the stage, I want to have at least two children. One girl and one boy. And close together. Noah and I will have to move outside of New York and commute, because those cramped apartments are no place to raise children, I know. And I figured we'd visit Lima for summer vacation, and all of the major Jewish holidays. It's very important that Hannah and Ira know their grandparents..."
Puck was horrified.
"Hannah and Ira?" His mother exclaimed. "Those are Jewish names..." Puck could've swore he saw a tear slip out the corner of her eye.
Puck had excused himself to the restroom before walking Rachel home, and she found herself sitting in the living room with Veda.
"It was so nice of you to come over, Rachel. It really was a treat. Please don't be a stranger anymore. You're welcome here anytime." The woman pulled a surprised Rachel into a bear hug, and Rachel had no choice but to return it.
"That means a lot, Mrs. Pucker-Veda.." She corrected herself, smiling at the older woman. Glancing in the direction of the bathroom where Noah was currently located, Rachel sighed.
"Umm...Veda..." She began tentatively. "I was wondering if I could talk to you briefly about something. It's with all due respect but it's about Quinn and Beth..."
Veda's expression saddened but she nodded in acknowledgement.
"I know that whole situation must have been upsetting and rightfully so, but I think that you should realize that it is not something you should blame on Noah, or even Quinn. They were just two kids who made a mistake. And Noah wanted to keep Beth, it was just not...possible. I think you probably know that. He's still hurting over never seeing that little girl again, and I respectfully I just wanted to say that maybe you should cut him a little slack...He really hasn't taken any of this lightly. I think he's really grown as a person from it."
Veda said nothing for awhile, but then she smiled a little. "I'm glad you've told me this, Rachel. I don't know what I've been thinking. It's just...Noah never really opens up to me, I guess I just assumed, well, I don't know what I assumed..." She looked at Rachel curiously.
"You really do care about my son, don't you?"
"Yes." Rachel replied, and it was the first thing she'd said all night about her feelings towards Noah that she knew wasn't a lie. Puck was rough around the edges, but she'd caught glimpses of another side of him now and then, and yes, of course, even if she'd tried to fight it, she cared about Puck. He was a real person, deep down. He was a real person around her.
"Look, uh Rach? Thanks again." Puck and Rachel stood at Rachel's front door, Puck's hands were shoved in his pockets and Rachel was leaning against the door.
"You're welcome." She smiled.
"Even if you said some totally crazy things." He laughed, and hit her playfully on the shoulder, "I'm sorry what I said...you're a great actress. I almost believed that you wanted to have two kids with me named Hannah and Ira." Puck smirked. "But I know I'm hot stuff. So it's easy to pretend to be crazy about me."
Rachel rolled her eyes. "Thank-you Noah, I am glad that my talent was to your advantage."
"Oh baby, it totally was." He leered at her, checking her out, and she swatted him.
"Stop that." Rachel laughed, "I can't believe you told your mother I was vegan. That was actually kind of nice of you. But why?"
"Well, the thing about lies is you have to build them around truths or else your entire web of lies falls apart." Puck stuck his hands back in his pockets. "Lying is a skill I've acquired over the years..."
"Ahh I see..." Rachel nodded, still grinning. "Well honesty is a skill too, you know." Putting her hand on her doorknob, she turned back. "Goodnight, Noah. I guess I'll see you tomorrow."
"Goodnight, rabbit" Puck smirked, jumping down off of her porch. Rachel shook her head.
"I'm sorry I don't shovel my food into my mouth without chewing! How you don't choke and die is beyond me!"
"Anyways, Finn...it's a part that I've dreamed of playing my whole life. Les Miserables is one of the greatest musicals ever written and Eponine is a classic Broadway role.
"That's great, Rach, someday you'll get it." Finn smiled, shoving his books in his locker as Rachel went on about her Broadway dreams.
"Do you really think so?" Rachel smiled sweetly at him and he nodded.
"Yeah." Finn nodded. "I mean, if you really try, you can do anything, right?" His goofy smile lit up his face.
"Thanks Finn." Rachel's smile dimmed a bit, but she didn't know why.
"Hey Bugs." a gruff voice said behind her.
"Hey Puck." Finn acknowledged, and Puck walked past her with a smirk.
"What's up doc?"
"You're so funny..." Rachel rolled her eyes and scoffed. Finn looked at them confused.
"I don't get it." He said, and Puck just shrugged.
"Inside joke." Puck walked away, sharing a secret smile with Rachel.
Still grinning, she added, "Jokes have to be funny, Noah."
"Since when do you have inside jokes with Puck?" Finn asked, watching Puck walk down the hall.
Rachel shrugged. "What? We're friends."
"You are? I didn't know that." Finn squinted. "I thought Puck..."
"What?" Rachel asked.
"I thought Puck thought you were annoying." Finn answered quietly. Rachel's facial expression sank.
"Oh."
"Oh C'mon Rach, I didn't mean to..."
"No, it's fine, Finn."
Frowning, Rachel headed towards Glee for rehearsal. Something was all wrong today that hadn't seemed so wrong yesterday.
Puck was in the middle of an intense game of Super Mario Brothers while sitting in his living room when he heard a knock at the door. He was all ready to ream out whoever had interrupted the greatest game on earth until he saw that the person at the door was Rachel Berry. The same Rachel Berry who had refused to look at him all Glee practice earlier that day, and had took off so quickly after he didn't have time to get one word in.
"Hey." She said breathily, and Puck found himself smiling and moving aside to invite her in.
"Hey, Rachel." The girl in front of him looked nervous, and he didn't know why. "What brings you here? I mean not that you're not welcome whenever you want, baby. You did save my ass on Friday..."
"I broke up with Finn." Rachel let out quickly and Puck took some time for the information to sink in.
"You did?"
"Yes." Rachel nodded and paced into his living room, noticing the game he'd paused, music playing over and over. "What are you playing?" She asked and Puck walked towards her.
"Super Mario Brothers 3.." Puck said as if she should know, smirking, "This is why you're not cool Berry."
" I wasn't aware that video games were the key to being cool...I'll keep that in mind if I want to improve my social status in the future." Rachel smiled, and Puck continued smirking at her.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"What? Super Mario Brothers?"
"No...Finn." Puck sighed, sat on the couch and patted the spot beside him. "Do I have to beat him up? He's my friend again, but I'll do it." Sitting down, Rachel shook her head.
"No, Noah. But that's sweet, thanks." Cringing, Puck leaned back.
"Fuck that. I am not sweet. I'm badass...But seriously why'd you two break up? I thought you guys were crazy in love...He was the Jay Z to your Beyonce or some shit, right?"
"It wasn't right. Finn is always going to be one of my best friends but something wasn't right. It wasn't how it was supposed to be. Did you know the first time we broke up he said he wanted to get back together because it was better than being alone?" Puck chuckled.
"Jesus, Finn is a fucking idiot."
"Can you believe that? You just don't say that to a girl..."
"I love the guy but he's not that fucking bright."
"Finn and I were wonderful in theory, but...that's all we were. A wonderful idea." Rachel felt Puck's eyes boring into her as she spoke.
"Built on a fantasy, huh?" Puck said softly and seriously, with a hint of contempt in his voice as he echoed her own words back to her.
"That day on the bleachers, Noah. Maybe I was talking about Finn, I don't know." There was a comfortable lull in the conversation.
"Do you find me annoying?" Puck snorted in laughter. Rachel didn't find the question amusing.
"Real Talk? Yes." Rachel looked hurt. "You're the craziest person I've ever met. You think you're better than everyone in Glee, you're selfish when it comes to solos and you talk way too fucking much."
Rachel frowned, but then Puck continued.
"But your driven, and you know what you want and while the rest of us fucking waste the rest of our lives stuck in this shit hole, you're going to get the fuck out of Lima. That's not a bad thing, Rach, at all. Besides, Glee would be fucking boring without you."
Rachel finally cracked a smile. "It would?"
"Fuck yes. You're entertaining as hell. And as a side note, I definitely don't mind the short skirts and knee highs. FYI."
Rachel was blushing now. She knew that was as close to complimenting someone that Puck had ever got.
"Thanks, Noah" She said with a laugh, looking down at the pleated skirt she'd chosen to wear today. "You know it's so strange because I'm not even upset about breaking up with Finn. I should be, but...I guess I just know it's for the best."
They were smiling at each other again. This was always dangerous territory. It was like a gravitational pull between them, and they always ended up inching closer and closer.
This time, though, there was no other person standing in the way.
"Noah..." Rachel breathed quietly, and Puck nodded, their noses almost touching. "I know how to fix this web of lies you've created for yourself..."
"Yeah...?" Puck's eyes were focused on Rachel's lips.
"Well in this case, maybe two wrongs make a right. You lied about breaking up with me, so we'll lie about getting back together. I think that evens things out." Puck smiled and shook his head.
"See what I mean? You talk too much." Puck crushed his lips onto Rachel's and heat spread through them so quickly they could feel it in their toes.
When they'd ended up vertically making out on the couch, the two finally broke for air.
"God, I love these knee socks..." Puck stroked one of Rachel's ankles, nipping at the side of her chin.
"Do you say that to all the girls, Noah?" Rachel smiled. Smirking against her neck he replied.
"No, Bunny, just you. Just you."