Inside A Frozen Memory Of Us

Part one.

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or the show. The title and lyrics come from Ours by the Bravery.

Summary: When Blair Waldorf returns to Manhattan with Carter Baizen on her arm, it feels as though every single eye is on her.

A/N: Because of all the lovely and encouraging comments I've decided to continue this story. This is basically a companion piece to We're Made Out Of Blood And Rust, with an undetermined amount of chapters. Please read and review. hope you enjoy. :)

After tonight

This will be a lifetime ago

So let's stay up until the sky bleeds red

Gone like a dream that I have just awoken from

Fading away, just out of reach

And we are here, but I already miss you

Even as you're lying next to me

This time is ours

When Blair Waldorf returns to Manhattan with Carter Baizen on her arm, it feels as though every single eye is on her.

And despite the fact that the first targets of Gossip Girl have all grown up, the blogger still takes pleasure out of following their every detail; so Blair isn't really surprised when she sees the blast mere seconds after she's gotten out of the airport and into the car.

And although Blair is almost a college graduate, she still reads that pathetic gossipmonger's blog; and she still examines every single detail of the picture of her and Carter hand-in-hand and the caption below on her phone.

Looks like our Queen B has finally found a new King C. Carter Baizen, B? We thought sloppy seconds were below you.

And what of our Dark Prince? How do you think he'll react when he finds out his former love is sleeping with the enemy? Literally.

Careful, B. You're playing with fire, and this one is bound to end explosively.

I love a good scandal. Until then, I'm always watching.

You know you love me.

xoxo, Gossip Girl

She sighs loudly when she finishes reading it for the fourth time. Carter notices – he always does – and turns to look at her, smirk already in place.

"Don't tell me you still read that, Waldorf."

"It's habit." She declares because, honestly, Gossip Girl has been following her around since freshmen year, and it's practically second nature to check it.

"It's pathetic," He laughs, but Blair does not find it amusing so she just glares at him instead. "She's pathetic. She obviously has nothing better to do with her time, unlike some of us."

His hand is already moving up her thigh, and for once she actually has to resist the temptation to not push it away. But she does, anyway, because she's not finished speaking yet.

"She's right, though."

"Oh, I am so not sloppy seconds."

"Not about that, Baizen. Do you have any idea how people are going to react?"

"Don't you mean how Bass is going to react?"

Blair wants to lie, but she's spent too much time with Carter and now he can tell the difference between her lies and her truths; so she just sits there and doesn't look him in the eye.

"I thought you were over him." He's saying it as though it pains him, and Blair thought they were past all this hurting.

"I am." He looks at her, disbelieving. "I am. It's just… Chuck. He's going to think this is about him and getting back at him and hurting him, and it's not; but he's going to see it that way and even if he doesn't… I don't want to hurt him." She whispers the last part, hopes that Carter won't hear.

But when she looks up at him and meets his eyes, she knows he heard.

"He cheated on you – numerous times, I might add. You should want to hurt him."

"Thank-you for bringing that to my attention." She stares angrily at him, realizes that she shouldn't be angry with him and that they shouldn't be arguing already, so she tries to fix things quickly and painlessly. "Just because I'm not with Chuck doesn't mean I don't love him."

By the way Carter's eyes look as though they're on fire and his jaw is clenched tightly, she figures that that was obviously not the right thing to say.

"I didn't mean it like that."

"Of course you didn't." He looks away from her, and Blair wonders how things got messed up so quickly.

So she grabs his hand and entangles it with hers. "Carter…" He won't look at her, just stares out the window; but that doesn't stop her.

"Look, you cretin. I love you, remember? I wouldn't be here with you if I didn't." She can tell that his eyes are softening, that his anger is dissipating slowly; but he still won't look in her direction. "But a part of me will always love Chuck. And just because I'm not in love with him doesn't mean I don't care about him."

The silence is officially getting to her, so she moves closer to him.

"Okay?"

He sighs, resignedly, and she knows she's won. "Okay."

She kisses his cheek and he smiles at her, their eyes finally meeting.

"You know…" he murmurs, "We did look pretty great in that picture."

She laughs against his cheek and decides that she doesn't really care what others think about her relationship anymore, because they look perfect together always and she feels perfect whenever he is around.

When they finally reach her apartment, she already has nineteen messages on her phone.

Two are from Serena:

B! I can't believe this is how I found out Carter was coming home with you! :) – S

I'm really happy for you, you know. I miss you. Dinner tonight? – S

She can tell that Serena is smiling over the phone, and her happiness is contagious as always.

(She will never change, but maybe Blair has stopped wanting her to)

There are four from Nate:

Carter? Really, Blair?

Blair, what's going on?

Is this about Chuck?

You can talk to me, you know.

Blair smiles despite herself because, even though he broke her heart, Nate can still be sweet when he wants to and she still finds his protective nature charming, like a remnant of the Prince he was supposed to be and the Knight she so desperately wanted, needed.

There is even one from her father, asking her how her flight was.

And there are twelve others from people whose opinions she honestly doesn't care about.

Blair doesn't know if she is surprised and disappointed or glad and relieved that Chuck didn't bother to at least text her.

Maybe he never even saw it. Blair knows it's a lie; she knows he saw it. Even Chuck Bass reads Gossip Girl.

Sometimes Blair wishes she could hurt Chuck as much as he hurt her. Just to even the score, she'd say. But the days of games were over and she doesn't want either of them to hurt anymore.

She wasn't lying when she told Carter she didn't want to hurt him. She doesn't. Truthfully, she doesn't want anyone to hurt the way Chuck hurt her. She may be over him, but there is still a part of her that just wishes he had showed her that he cared that she had come home.

But when Carter offers her his hand as she is exiting the car, she figures it's not fair to anyone to be thinking about Chuck Bass when she is obviously in love with someone else.

Blair hadn't realized until the moment when she stepped foot onto the marble floors of her apartment how much she missed home.

She loved Paris and everything it did for her and she already misses her family, but she remembers that the rest of her family is still here – here in this city, on this island.

And suddenly the thought of returning home is no longer scary, but rather uplifting.

She texts Serena about dinner plans as Carter takes in his new surroundings. They never really talked about him staying with her, but she figured it was already decided.

"So, this is where Blair Waldorf lives?" he murmurs softly as he looks out the window.

"What do you think?" She walks over to him, looks out the same window and realizes that she seems to smile so easily when he's around her.

He turns to her slowly, smiles at her easily as well. "I think… you should give me the tour."

"Oh you do, do you?" His arms are already wrapping around her waist and she knows what he really means.

"Yes." He kisses her for a moment and she tugs his hair gently, pulling him closer. "Why don't you show me your bedroom first?" His voice is husky, and even though her eyes are closed there is no hiding the smirk in his voice.

"Carter…" she purrs him name softly – just the way she knows he loves – as he starts to trail kisses down her neck. "We can't do… this… right now." Her feeble attempts at pushing him away have proven futile.

"Why not?"

"Because…" For a few moments she forgets entirely why; forgets that she has a best friend she is supposed to be meeting in an hour. She forgets everything because Carter is far too good at this.

But Blair eventually remembers and pushes him away gently; trying hard not to be affected by the pout he has already pulled on.

"Serena wants to meet for dinner."

He sighs in displeasure, practically hisses her best friend's name. "Serena. You've been home less than an hour and she's already taking up all your time."

Blair laughs softly, as she begins to walk away. "I have to get ready," she calls over her shoulder. She stops when he doesn't make any motion to follow.

She arches her brow, silently asking him to follow. When he does, she smiles once more and pulls him up the stairs and down the hallway to her bedroom.

He smirks again, obviously pleased. "See, Waldorf? Great minds think alike." He attempts to kiss her again, but she pulls out of his grip swiftly.

"Carter, seriously. We can't."

He rolls his eyes as she enters the adjoining bathroom. He makes his way to her bed and mumbles, "You were more fun in Paris," before sitting down.

"I heard that!" she calls from where she is, and catches him smiling when she looks in his direction.

When she re-enters, her make-up redone and her hair fixed, she asks, "Do you want to come?"

"And interrupt your little girl-fest with Serena? No, thank-you."

"Then what are you going to do?" she asks him as she looks through her luggage for a dress she bought in Paris that would be perfect for the occasion.

"Blair, it's not like I'm some foreigner who's never been to New York. Born and raised, remember?" She thinks that his laugh is sort of adorable.

"I know that. I just…" She trails off, not even sure where she's going with this.

He looks at her expectantly, and she fumbles once more to find the words she doesn't want to admit. But this time she figures honesty is the best route.

"In the past month, we haven't spent more than ten hours apart from each other."

"Someone's getting a little attached." He's laughing again, pulling her closer to him so she's standing between his legs.

"Carter."

"You worry too much."

"I'm not worrying."

"Now you're lying."

"Shut up." She raises her chin, pulls away from him to resume her former task. "Help me pick a dress."

"It doesn't matter; you look beautiful in anything."

Blair attempts to hide her blush by turning away from him, smiling inwardly.

When she looks at him again he is handing her a red dress that she remembers clearly he picked out for her.

It was during the third week of her then non-relationship with Carter when he insisted he accompany her on her shopping excursion; she begrudgingly accepted. When they come upon said dress he practically demanded that she try it on.

Blair remembers with perfect clarity the way he looked at her when she emerged in the dress. She remembers blushing under his heated gaze; remembers looking in the mirror at her reflection, wondering what he saw in her.

But mostly she remembers him standing behind her in front of the mirror and looked at her with that intense look of his. She remembers the way his eyes bore into hers in the mirror, the way he kissed her shoulder softly and murmured: "You look stunning in red."

She smiles softly and thanks him before hurriedly putting on the garment. When she's finished she asks him what he thinks.

"It's perfect." You're perfect.

Blair wonders if anything will ever feel better than this.

She leaves him with a kiss and a murmur of "Don't get into too much trouble" before heading out to meet Serena.

The minute she's outside on the bustling streets, she already misses him and figures that this isn't healthy.

She smiles to herself again – for what feels like the thousandth time – wondering if he misses her too.

What did you all think? I hope you all enjoyed. I have a couple chapters already written, so they should be up within the next week or so. :)