After reading fanfiction for years and years I tried writing something myself. Here it is. Tell me what you think.

Snape

There had always been something that bothered me about Severus Snape.

Even back in school.

It wasn`t that he disobeyed me or something. He would always please me in whatever way I wanted. He would carry out any task to my entire satisfaction. He would be down on his knees to suck my cock in most delicious ways anytime. He also would never refuse to let me fuck him up his ass. But there was always this little uncertainty...

It wasn`t that I didn`t have the uttermost control over his body. I could make him writhe in agonized lust begging for relieve. I could make him groan in profound arousal when I hit that spot deep inside of him. I could make him scream. But never my name. And that`s the centre of the problem. Well, don`t get me wrong, I`m not talking about unrequited love. I mean, why should I love this skinny little halfbreed?

It just bothered me, that he didn`t love me.

This is about possession, you know, it sort of angered me, that there was something about him I couldn`t control, I couldn`t possess: his damn heart. Well perhaps I could make it beat faster when I pumped him hard, but it would never miss a beat when he saw me.

I had always been sure that there was somebody else. He must have been thinking of somebody else while he was with me otherwise I can´t explain to myself why he hadn´t fallen for me yet. I spent years in school trying to find out who it was. Of course he would never scream any other person`s name, even in the height of sensory overload. He was way to much in control of himself, the little bastard. And I was really trying hard. I was learning to read his smallest reactions to what I did to him and memorizing what he liked most. I became his perfect lover. I knew all the right spots and how to use them. I was even neglecting my own needs and desires, can you believe that? And still, even though I´m sure I let him experience the most terrific feelings of his sad little life, he never slipped. Oh and furthermore he didn´t reward my hard work with his absolute and undivided love, but we already talked about that…

So I had to observe his every movement of the eye. I sat hours in the Common Room, hidden in some dark corner, waiting for him to look after some girl or guy. He never did it. He just sat there for hours reading in those dull potion books with much more interest than any sane person could comprehend.

But I knew there had to be somebody. I mean, what else could keep him from loving me? Everybody loves me. Well ok, not everybody, but I don`t care about the opinion of some stupid mudbloods, or Gryffindor idiots.

It`s not that I wouldn`t get enough love or attention, you see. Narcissa had always plenty of it, thank you very much. And it wasn´t just her. I had practically half the school swooning over me. I even overheard the occasional conversation of Gryffindor girls, where they admitted to admire my beautiful long blond hair and my tall but slender figure. Alright, so they finished with: "too bad he`s such a snobbish prat." – So what? This still shows that my striking good looks worked even on them.

But not on him. What would I have given to see those pitch black eyes roaming over my naked body with a hungry and admiring look in them. It never happened.

It is really strange how this relationship evolved. At first I was just using him to get me off. We would meet in one of those famous unused classrooms. He was a scared little loner, eager to make big important friends that would protect him. I didn´t even have to force him. I told him to suck my cock and he immediately obeyed. He was down on his knees, his thin lips around my erection and his tongue drawing circles over the head. He gripped the base in his pale right hand and pumped slowly up and down. When I came he swallowed it all without me even having to tell him to. That first time was amazing even though he was still very inexperienced. It was great because I thought I had won. I revelled in the fact that I now had him in my hands.

How wrong I had been…

Now we have been out of school for some time and since then we´re meeting once a month in some cheap little hotel in the middle of nowhere. When some stranger would see us now he would probably think that I´m the one in control. I´m the one on top, pounding hard into him, while he is lying on his back, his legs over my shoulders. He lets out a loud moan while his hands are gripping the sheets. What the stranger doesn´t know is that I´m doing this because I know he likes it exactly that way. He obviously likes the way I´m slamming into him, but he doesn´t look into my grey eyes. His eyes are closed, his head turned to the side. Away from me.

I adjust the angle just a little bit and know his orgasm is approaching. And there it is. I feel his muscles contracting around my dick and see his semen spurt between us. Some thrusts later I join him and collapse exhausted on top of him.

After some moments to catch my breath I slip my limp member out of him and roll to the side. I leave one arm on him and slowly caress his collarbone. He gives me a sarcastic look with one raised eyebrow, wiggles out from under me and goes wordlessly to the bathroom to have a shower.

While I lie there sweaty, sticky and alone in the uncomfortable hotel bed, realization hits me. Hard. I can´t believe it:

This bloody bat is using me for shagging. As a convenient way to get him off. He doesn´t come here to please me, he comes to let me fuck his brains out so he can forget for some moments of bliss about his stupid and probably unrequited love for whoever it is. He is using me. He is using me…

I think I never felt so cheap in my entire life…