Title: The internet is for porn
Fandom: Inuyasha
Author: kira
Chars/Pairs: Sesshomaru and his mother (the underused character)
Genres: Crack!
Warnings: accidental incest
Word Count: 500
Summary: Sesshomaru finds out his mother is into porn amongst other things he wishes he never knew…

Author's note: This took third place at LJ's Hentai Contest

888

"Mother, what are you doing?" Sesshomaru asked.

The lady of the west looked over her shoulder at him. "I'm surfing the net for porn, why?"

Sesshomaru blinked, not sure he heard his mother correctly. "Porn?"

"Yes. It's been centuries since your father's been alive and I still have needs, my son, needs that Toutou-sai is no longer able to meet." She smiled sweetly at him. "Ever since he took Cialis and had a four hour erection, which was heavenly by the way. Damn, that man's hot in more ways than one! Anyway, things were great until his cock refused to go down and well, now it takes me four hours to get him up." She sighed.

"Four hours…?" her son repeated stupidly.

"So that's when I decided to go online and look for something to amuse myself. And found it I have! It's called, fanfiction dot net. There's nothing funnier than a lemon, you do know what that is, my son, written by a fourteen year old virgin and her friends. Plus you can also find some decent stuff, stuff that is…" She sighed dramatically, fanning herself. "And then there is stuff, my boy, that I don't want you going near! I mean the Pikachu porn is bad enough, but there is an author there, one Abraxas Ren… that well, ummm…let's just say your mother doesn't want you to die a virgin." She reached out and took his hand, patting it.

"Mother, why are you telling me this?"

"Because I felt it was my duty as a responsible parent to warn you about the dangers of the internet as well as telling you where to find the best porn. If you'd rather have something visual instead, let me check my bookmarks."

"Please don't, mother…" Sesshomaru resisted the urge to rub tiredly between his eyes.

"Ooh! So you have your own stash, hunh? You are your father's son!" She beamed proudly at him as he gave her a pained little smile. "Care to share? I have some really good yaoi doujinshi, done by the mangaka for Gravitation and Antique Bakery…"

"Yaoi?"

"Oh, so you're not gay? Then why the eye-shadow and the impeccable fashion sense?"

"Mother, how did we go from you looking at porn to my sexual orientation?"

"Oh, come on, Sesshomaru, you spend all that time alone in the woods with Jaken and his pimp-stick of doom, and you can honestly say with a straight face you're not?"

"Mother whether I am or am not is irrelevant."

"If you say so…" she airily replied. "So then you'd like some yuri instead? A lil girl/girl action can be hot too!"

"No, mother."

"Well then, be that way! See if I let you use my password to log in at Harry's House of Hentai."

Sesshomaru raised a delicate eyebrow. "You go there?"

"Yes… you too?"

He nodded.

"Ever chat with DoggoD?"

"You're not Spankin' Hot Mama, are you?"

"Oh hell…" they chorused, when it hit them.

"This conversation never happened."

"Agreed!"