The meeting door flew opened as the rest of the Akatsuki strutted in, all looking rather exausted. "Well, it is nice to see everyone finally get here," Pein spoke, very angrily. "I call these morning meetings because I plan on seeing my favorite henchmen bright and early, not noon!"

A muttered "sorry leader," escaped most of the member's lipas and one "fuck off" as they sat down. A few passing out on contact with something remotly soft.

"Don't sorry leader me," Pein threatened. "You kept me waiting and I have an important meeting comming up. I don't even have any time to explain the new mission! Just keep up the evil work, I guess. Dismissed." Pein left his minions in the room, all of which were now fell asleep on the table, except for Zetsu. He made this his chance to sample the many flavors of Akatsuki.

He walked over to Itachi and licked his hand, sampling the rare Uchiha meat. Next was Kisame who didn't taste like shark, more of a goat flavor. Zetsu cringed, he hated goat. He tasted almost everyone in the room, Tobi being the only one excluded. Zetsu couldn't find any open flesh and didn't want to suffer 'The Wrath of Mandara' for disturbing his rest. Mandara had grudge issues, Zetsu knew this and tended not to get involved in it. Now that his work was done, he decided to leave, 'accidently' slapping Sasori upside the head on the way out. Why, you may ask. Does he need a reason? He's motherfucking Zetsu, he does what he wants!

Waking up from the infamous Zetsu Bitch Slap, Sasori dragged Deidara out of the room. "Come Deidara," Sasori commanded. "We have to find a perfectly evil lair."

"Sasori no Danna," Deidara yawned. "Why can't we just be evil with the Akatsuki, un?" Deidara did a well needed strech and got to his feet. He quickly started following Sasori through the Akatsuki base.

"Because Pein wants us to promote a good imange with the Akatsuki. How are we going to do that destorying all the art of the world?"

"I wish you wouldn't call it destorying. We are perfecting it, un," Deidara mumbled, arms crossed. They stepped into their shared room, Sasori's side clean, while Deidara's half looked like something exploded in it. Which something has done on more than one occasion.

Sasori dug through his closet until he found his Toymaker puppet. He fluffed up the moustache and alined the monocule a bit. Deidara kicked a few shirts off the ground and pulled up his red spandex. It was wrinkly from spending the morning on the floor and possiably had something growing on the elbow. He examine the fungi, shrugged and rubbed it on the wall.

"You ready," Sasori asked, getting adjusted to his Toy Maker body. He examined himself in the mirror, admiring how evil he looked. He perfected his look by grabbing his best cane. Truly menacing.

"Un," Deidara called, tieing his mask on and thus changing into his alter ego, Un. "I really hate my outfit. So unartistic, un."

"Because it doesn't explode?"

"That and it's red spandex." The pair jumped out the window of the Akatsuki base and into the afternoon sun.

Inside their room, Kakuzu and Hidan were enjoying each other's silence. Just kidding, Hidan's in the room.

"Come on Kakuzu," Hidan whined. "We need a new Zombie Mobile."

"You are perfectly fine riding on my back," Kakuzu moaned.

"Not with that bitch, Yaoi Girl roaming the streets." As if to remind Kakuzu, he pulled out the picture she left behind. Kakuzu snatched it from his hands and ripped it to pieces. He didn't even want to question why he still had that and was carrying it around.

"Maybe you shouldn't be an idoit and jump from buildings."

"That was fun," Hidan laughed, getting lost in memories. The amazing pain of feeling your bones turn to jelly inside of the muscles. Ah, those were the days. But he had Yaoi Girl to worry about! "She will only make you look like the fudge packer that you are."

Kakuzu growled. He could never win. "Fine, let's suit up and look for something."

"Good. While we're at it we should get new costumes. Your green spandex thing is really fucking scary, seriously man. Just because you stole it from some loser doesn't mean you should wear it."

"You don't like seeing a ninety year old man in spandex?"

"I think you answered that yourself."

"Touche."

"Un, we are meeting with a top seller in evil hideout realators," The Toy Maker called. "Be good." The two dastardly villians arrived at a cheery white realtor building. It had balloons outside and the flowers were on the verge of singing they looked so happy.

"Un," Un grunted, following his partner inside.

"Why hello," a rather perky Pein greeted. "I see you two are interested in having a high quality hideout, well you called the right guy." The Toymaker and Un nervously glanced at each other, trying to make out what to say at the fact that their leader was smiling at them while wearing a pinstripe suit. "Don't worry we have helped plently of first time villians get on their feet. I looked over your requirements and have selected a few options." Pein spun around to a nearby filing cabinet and pulled out a folder with 'Toy Freaks' stamped across it. "The first one, is an abonded toy factory. Fits your imange perfectly. Another option I have is a standard issue supervillians lair. While it doesn't promote your imange, it does have all the things supervillians
need. Traps the heroes can easily escape from while you rant about your evil plans, a list of important people you should kidnap to lure the heroes to said traps and a coffee maker."

"I like that," Un stated, releaved Pein couldn't see through their shitty disquises. "What do you think?" Un nudged his partner a bit.

"Well the coffee maker seems nice but I do like the themed lair. Do you have any photos?"

"Yes," Pein said, digging into the folder. He pulled out two photos. The Toy Maker recongized one, which was the Akatsuki's old lair. It got infested with rats which Kakuzu was too cheap to hire someone to take care of and the Akatsuki were much to busy to take care of themselves. While rats did add a nice evil touch, they weren't realistic working conditions. The other photo had creepy toys hanging from the ceiling and a convayor belt in the middle of the room.

"I like that one," The Toymaker excaliamed pointing to the second picture.

"Excellent," Pein cooed. "Make all checks payable to Akatsuki, whom I have no connection with but heard they are very wonderful people."

Kakuzu and Hidan walked up to a shady building in their alter egos. When they stepped inside the dank place a shadowy figure approached them. "Whatcha lookin to buy," he hissed. The pair tried to step closer to see his face, but he retreated to the shadows.

"How do you know this fucker again," The Dude questioned.

"I don't, Kakuzu does," Fluffybeard Gorightly stated.

"Oh. Hey we need a new kickass superhero vehicle."

"Well, I have some nice pogo sticks." The Dude paled, memories of him and his old ride floated into his mind. He left his partner to go sulk in the cornor.

"Dont be so emo," Fluffybeard sighed, with a nice eye roll to match. "The dumbass had one, then broke it."

"Oh, losing a pogo stick is always a rough experience. You have my
sympothy."

"Thanks," The Dude sniffled. "At least someone gives a fuck!"

"We need something cheap and well just cheap."

"Let me see what I have." The strange man rummaged through something and produced some scrolls. He laid two on the ground and formed a hand seal. In a cloud of smoke a bicycle and roller skates stood there.

"Here," Fluffybeard called. "Look at these." The Dude stood up and examined the two things.

"Umm Fluffybeard."

"What?"

"I can't ride a bike."

"You're kidding."

"No." The mysterious man summoned the bike back and picked up the scroll. The Dude sat down next to the rollar skates and kicked off his shoes. He slipped a foot into the skate to realize it was too small.

"Ya have anything bigger?"

"No." The Dude shoved his foot in, possiably breaking the bone. He laced up the skates and tried to stand up. He instantly fell down.

"Fuck, these hurt. We'll take them." The Dude flashed them a sly smile and skated around the room, feeling his bones crush together and the blood gathering in it. "Oh, Jashin. It feels so good," The Dude moaned in sweet, sweet pleasure. This made the shady guy and Kakuzu very uncomfortable.

"Wow," the Toymaker whispered stepping into his new hideout. "This is so evil."

"Un," Un grunted behind a pile of bags and boxes, just his ponytail sticking out. He threw them on the ground and panted for some breath. "I wanted the other lair. It had a coffee maker, un."

"Silence Un!" The Toymaker started to dig through the bags Un carried in and pulled out a block of wood and some knives. "Now, let us build our army of toys."

After a good debate, Fluffybeard Gorightly parted with his money with a miserable attitude. Granted, it was counterfit bills, but it still hurt his soul. He waved bye to the salesman and turned to leave only to see that The Dude was happily rolling around. When he was close enough to the door, Fluffybeard gave him a playful nudge, making his partner crash down the stairs with a laugh.

"Happy now," Fluffybead asked.

"Yeah, yeah. Now it's time for your fashion change." Cheesey 80's music started playing as their surroundings filled with colors. "Fashion montage!" The Dude grabbed his partner and skated off to the nearest boutique.

Suddenly Konan woke up from her rest in the meeting room with a pounding ache in her head. She was wet and covered in bite marks. She looked over at the two others in the room, Itachi and Kisame, to see Itachi in a similar state. The little family killer was sleeping soundly. It was amost adorable. Almost. A pounding ache came to Konan and she held her head in pain. "Yaoi senses," she muttered, running off.

"Stupid motherfucker! You stupid motherfucker! You stupid motherfuck...er," Hidan sang along to the music in the store. Of course the radio station censored out Hidan's favorite words, so he added them.

The Super Duper Zombie Buddies were in an upscale boutique, attractioning attention for all the citizens they 'saved'. The store had to kick some people out because they were getting so close to their saviors. The pair were desperately trying to search for Kakuzu's perfect outfit but have had no luck so far.

"Hidan, shut up," Kakuzu grunted. "Or I'll tell the store clerk to change the station to Christian hyhms." Hidan crossed his arms and fashioned his mouth into a pout.

"Stupid motherfucker," He mumbled. He returned to comb through the racks of clothes while Kakuzu dug through the bargain bin. "Why don't you look at the good stuff," Hidan asked. "How bout this." He held up a fishnet top. Kakuzu's eyes darted right past the outfit and looked for the white price tag.

"No, too expensive."

"Hello gentlemen," A cheery worker greeted. "Can I help you find anything? Can I also have an autograph for my wife, she's a huge fan. You saved her from a bank robbery."

'No, we're fine. Thank you. I'll give you my signature for five bucks,' is what Kakuzu wanted to say but Hidan's voice overpowered his own.

"If we wanted your fucking help we would have asked, dipshit. And tell that slut of a wife of yours to not be a dumbass in a bank robbery, seriously. And you two should totally convert-" The worker stormed away from them. "Asshole. I fucking hate when they do that." Kakuzu ignored him and continued digging through the bin. That's when the heavens opened and decided to grant Kakuzu the happiness he's been waiting for. His eyes became misty as he pulled the garment from under the other clothes.

"It's perfect," he whispered, holding up his dream outfit.

"Ha," Yaoi Girl screamed comming out of nowhere, camera in hand. "Caught you!" She madly started to take pictures while The Dude lunged at her.

"Give me that fucking camera," The Dude yelled, trying to get at her. Yaoi Girl squeeked and ran around the racks of clothes.

"Hello ma'am," the salesman greeted. "Can I help you?"

"Fuck off," The Dude screeched, punching the poor man in the face. "Now fork over that fucking camera! Fluffy, get yo ass over here and help!"

Fluffybeard was still lost in his trance from finding his perfect outfit. So lost, he could only mumble a soft squeek as a reply.

"Nope. I'll give you the picture later tonight. Or just search XXX Zombie Buddies exposed," Yaoi Girl winked. "Now, if you excuse me, yaoi awaits!" Yaoi Girl ran out the front door, giggling madly. After all, she did just catch the Super Duper Zombie Buddies doing the gayest thing possible in the most gay way. She looked at her camera memory, to try to relive the moment. Unfortunately the pictures didn't share her imagination. She sighed at all the photo shopping she had to do.

"Fucking bitch, we just went shopping! And you," The Dude turned around to face his partner, rage burning in his eyes. "You are the most worthless pile of shit I have ever seen!" Hidan panted a bit, trying to calm himself. He felt relief rush over him when he saw what Kakuzu was hold. "But that new outfit is pretty sick."

It seems major trouble escaped our heroes for once as they enjoyed a relaxing day out. Will this peace last? What could the Toymaker and Un be building? Find out next week on another thrilling episode of Super Duper Zombie Buddies.

A/N's: Lawl, made you read a filler. This is Naruto after all. I promise no more fillers. Especially the next chapter. Nope, next chapter is definalty not a filler. Not at all. Song is Stupid MF by Mindless Self Indulgence, the best band ever.