"Konan, Zetsu," Pein called. "Find out why Hidan and Kakuzu leave the base every night."

"Yaoi," Konan questioned.

"That bastard's probably making money," Zetsu growled. "Or doing something Jashin-related."

"Whatever, just find out!"

Hidan and Kakuzu were merrily skipping down a sunny lane -wait I'm sorry- The immortal demons were lurking through a dark alley. Rats were scattering around their feet while the duo moved through the narrow passage. "Too far," Kakuzu hissed, grabbing Hidan's collar and forcefully pulling him back so they faced a cold stone wall.

"How the fuck was I supposed to know! The walls all looks the same," Hidan barked. "If you had two ounces of common sense then you would make our hideout a little easier to find!"

"So Pein can find us and ruin our fun? I don't think so." Kakuzu slid his hand over the bricks and a red circle revealed itself. Kakuzu brought his eye to the orb so it could be scanned.

"Welcome Master Kakuzu," a robotic, yet British voice said. The orb disappeared and a door appeared. Kakuzu pushed his partner in and followed suit.

"Quick put the leather on."

"Fuck Kakuzu you know that it makes my balls stick."

"Dont worry you won't be wearing it long."

"Go die in a hole bastard."

"Are you ready yet?"

"How are you ready?"

"Whatever, I'll just go to the computer and find some videos."

"Kakuzu you know I like the videos, just wait. These pants are so Jashin-damn tight. Why do I have to wear them?"

"Its only for nights, you'll live."

"Yeah, yeah, so what's going on?"

"Nothing much I guess - wait do you see that?"

"Fuck yeah, off to the Zombie Mobile!" Epic music started playing while the Zombies got into the Zombie Mobile! This 'Zombie Mobile' was two pogo sticks that Kakuzu acquired for an absolute bargain at a yard sale. Per Hidan's request to make them more manly, he painted flames on them. The team bounced off into the night.

"Are you sure this is where they went," Konan asked.

"Yes," Zetsu replied. "Don't question me bitch!" The arrived at a familiar brick wall. Zetsu morphed into the ground and Konan transformed into paper to slide through the cracks. When she got to the other side her inner fan-girl was taking over.

"Their clothes are on the ground," Konan said as calmly as she could.

"It smells like leather. Guess you were right." Konan started to wander away hoping to catch some hot undead action. "Let's go tell Pein that Hidan and Kakuzu were the first to go gay. Which means you owe me fifty bucks. I could have sworn Deidara and Sasori would be first." Konan peered through the many doors trying to see something, anything. "Let's go Konan. I don't want to see them fucking." With a sigh, Konan turned into butterflies and left her fantasies behind.

In a related development at an unfortunate twenty-three and a quarter hour bank, Mr. Generic was getting ready to close. He worked faithfully for the company his whole life and was preparing the last seconds of his shift. Earlier in the day his co-workers had bought him a sheet cake and he found himself reminiscing about the chocolate deliciousness. A customer snapped him back to reality and Mr. Generic cashed his check. Four shadows appeared in the doorway and rudely made their way inside. They were clad in matching purple spandex with huge bows.

"Freeze give me all your money," one of bowed people bellowed. The attendees froze and crouched on the ground. Mr. Generic quickly acted and pushed the emergency button. Two purple blobs quickly ran behind the counter and into the open safe that Steve forgot to shut.

"Not so fast villainous scum!"

"It's the Super Duper Zombie Buddies," an annoyingly high-bitched female screamed. "Help us!"

"Oh no," one of the villains dramatically exclaimed. "It's Fluffybeard Gorightly and The Dude!" Yes, Fluffybeard Gorightly and The Dude were here to save the day! Fluffybeard Gorightly was dressed in his usual all pea-pod green spandex outfit he found on a laundry line with his signature beard. Rumor has it that it could lift mountains. His trusty sidekick was in tight leather pants with a black mast on and his usual confident smirk.

"Gee willy Fluffybeard Gorightly," The Dude exclaimed. "It seems we are out numbered! Only one thing to do. For Jashin!" The Dude ran into a man with four arms and the girl. After a quick tussle the girl was knocked out and he was currently engaged in a life or death struggle. Before Fluffybeard Gorightly even had a chance to think about what was going on, two purple flashes were on top of him. He quickly knocked them off and tied them together with black thread.

"You okay, The Dude," Fluffybeard Gorightly asked.

"Yeah," The Dude replied punching the other guy down. The hostages screamed with joy at their saviors.

"Who are you working for," Fluffybeard Gorightly asked.

"You'll never find out," the henchman shouted back. Suddenly, the room filled with a thick smoke and everyone struggled for breath. When it finally cleared the four purple people were nowhere in site.

"Damn it," The Dude shouted. "Well since we saved your lives I want everyone in here to convert to Jashinism right now. I brought bibles and rosaries for everyone. Don't make me slaughter you the next time I see you."

"You are hiding you identity so well," Fluffybeard Gorightly sighed. "We'll take this money as evidence or something. Let's go."

"But, I was about to gain more followers."

"Now."

"Fine. Remember heathens, Jashin can save your soul and let you kill the innocent."

Just as quickly as they arrived, the Super Duper Zombie Buddies hopped away, leaving an awestruck bank.

"Wow," one of Mr. Generic's coworkers remarked. "To think this is your last day working and you didn't even die like the over used thing in movies."

"You're right," Mr. Generic said happily. A bit too happily.

"Are you kidding me, before Deidara," Pein asked.

"Yep, I believe you owe me some money," Zetsu responded. Pein grumbled and handed Zetsu a twenty. "You should tell everyone else. I heard homosexuality is contagious. No it's not! Is it?"

"I don't know," Pein defended. "I'll hold a meeting about it tomorrow. For now get some rest. It's going to be hard with that mental image."

"That was fucking great," Hidan said. "I got at least ten new followers."

"Not to mention the money," Kakuzu cooed holding his two sacks (of money) very tight.

"Becoming superheroes was one of my best ideas ever and I've had a lot of best ideas." Kakuzu rolled his eyes but silently agreed. All this 'evidence' they were collecting really helped his wallet. Not to mention the tee-shirts, action figures, movie deal, comic books - "Fuck Kakuzu, we have to get back to base! It's almost day-break." Hidan started to rip his leather pants off and quickly put on his normal attire. When he looked back up Kakuzu was already properly dressed and had his money organized. "Bull shit, man! Fucking bull!"

Pein called an emergency meeting as soon as he sensed most people were awake. Hidan was the last one to arrive, still in his pajamas, with heavy bags under his eyes. "What's this about Pein," Kakuzu asked with a yawn. Rough night Pein, Zetsu and Konan thought, with the last one enjoying the mental picture.

"Well," Pein coughed. "It has been brought to my attention that one of us is -erm- gay for their partner."

"It's about fucking time blondie," Hidan spat.

"You owe me money," Kakuzu whispered into Sasori's ear.

"I'm not gay, yeah," Deidara yelled.

"No," Pein said. "It's not Deidara. Yet, at least."

"Fuck you, un," Deidara growled.

"To be fair if you want us to know just say it now," Pein stated. "Konan, Zetsu and myself already know." The room was engulfed in an eerie silance.

"Well who the fuck is the fag," Hidan asked. "Is it you Itachi?"

"No."

"Sasori?"

"No."

"Tobi?"

"No."

"Kisame?"

"No."

Hidan glanced at his partner with with frightened eyes. "Your fucking gay for me? You bastard that's why you wanted me to wear leather last - Oh Jashin! I've been shirtless around you and now your old mind is of perverted thoughts of me! Kakuzu, I didn't think you could get any worse than a fucking atheist, greedy sinner but you cease to amaze. Fuck you all, I'm going to cleanse my soul."

"Denial," Konan mumbled.

"You're gay," Sasori blandly asked, stunned.

"Pein," Kakuzu snarled, digging his nails into the table. "When did you find this out?"

"Well I sent Zetsu and Konan to see why you were never sleeping in the base and they found your love shack. For the shake of the underage members and myself I won't go into details."

"You're gay," Sasori blandly asked, still stunned. Tell murderous ninjas I've been fighting crime with the alias Fluffybeard Gorightly Kakuzu thought or that I'm gay.

Will Kakuzu admit he's gay? Will Hidan cleanse his soul? What of the four robbers? Will Sasori's question be answered? Will Tobi, Kisame or Itachi ever get a speaking role? What about Mr. Generic? Find out next week on Super Duper Zombie Buddies!

Author's note: Yeah, probably not going to be a next episode. I have other ideas in mind and shit that needs to be finished. Unless people demand it, it stops here. Anonymous reviews are always on.