Disclaimer: I own nothing but the story.

~ Chapter One ~

~ A Shot To Kill The Pain ~

Oliver Oken looked down at his arm, the needle shaking in his hand as he bit down hard on his lip. He tried to tell himself a long time ago that it would only be the one time, he just needed it right now, just one more time.

He heaved a deep sigh, closing his eyes before piercing the needle into his skin – just like he had done so many times before. His heart beat getting faster as he felt that familiar feeling wash over his body once again.

It was as though he was breathing for the first time, seeing things right for the first time, hearing it all correctly – he was on top of the world for once. He wasn't Oliver Oken anymore, he was someone. He was someone else, some different, someone better.

He inhaled sharply, his breath trembling as he looked around the room, relaxing back on the couch. He laughed to himself, tracing the needle mark – they were all too easy to hide.

He looked down at his hands, shaking his head at the blurred version before closing them once more and leaning back.

No guilt. No pain. No fear. No sadness. No panic. No chaos. Nothing.

Just this once; he kept telling himself; I won't do this again. But he knows as soon as he comes back down, it'll start all over again – the longing, the need, the want. It will all come back and he'll be back here, telling himself it was the last time. Just the second time.. just the tenth time, just the thirtieth time.

He's lost, he doesn't know what to do. He doesn't know how to love anymore, he doesn't know who he wants to be. He wants to be Oliver Oken – Lilly loves him that way, he has friends, a family. But the years of fame have changed him too much. The parties had never been the cause, they were just a reason. It was him – there was something wrong with him.

He bites down on his lip, thinking about it, there had always been something wrong with him. The flash of anger comes quickly, his hand grabbing the closest thing to him – a glass – and he throws it across the room. He smiles at the sound of smashing glass before calming down again.

He has everything, friends, a life, a job, a beautiful girlfriend, and one moment of weakness and he's back to where he started. Back to that stupid teenage boy who thought fame was everything, back to the life he hates. He's back to Oliver Oken, the overnight superstar.

But, an addiction is an addiction – it all hurts the same.