When a heart breaks

KC looks at Clare and realizes what a mistake he has made, too late. (like my Gravity story but from KC's POV)

I couldn't help but watch her. Short brown hair, intense blue eyes, porcelain skin almost too white, and her soft pink lips, like little pillows inviting you to take comfort on them. She was perfect. Clare Edwards was perfect. She was smart, beautiful and kind. The most sincere person I have ever met. She was like sunshine personified. I smiled at her. Something about her always brought a smile to my face. She was laughing with a friend. Her laughter was like a cool water to refresh my aching soul. Why was it always we want something we can no longer have? Because you see it was me who ended it.

When I decided to end it, I was so sure I was coming out on top. After all, I was the star athlete, popular, good-looking. I even had a pretty girl who I kinda liked who wanted to go out with me. I thought that if anything should happen between Jenna and I, Clare would be waiting there, on her porch where I left her. Selfish I know. But hey there weren't a ton of guys waiting for jump on Clare as soon as she was available. And even the few that were, Clare wasn't interested in them. I thought as long as she is free, than I am truly on top. But that was before Eli Goldsworthy came into the picture.

My first thought was man this guy wears a lot of black. He was dark and moody. I didn't think he would even look at Clare or for that matter Clare would look twice at a guy who was Gothic and drives a hearse. But she did. I watched her face light up as he walked over. That look. The look that she used to give me. Back when I deserved her, when I was good to her.

Maybe it was a good thing that I broke up with her when I did. That way I wouldn't have to realize that she was too good for me. But then again maybe she was always too good for me, and I never noticed it.

Thinking back on it, Clare was always my voice of reason. She often talk me down form doing stupid stuff. She always challenged me and called me out on my shit. That was one of the many things I liked about her. Then when everyone thought of me as a hero and Clare still called me out on my shit, I guess I got annoyed. But now I would give anything for her to just give me any advice, any at all. But she wouldn't.

Memories are cruel, but you know what's worse? Regret. Knowing that you should've done better, but never be able to change it.

"KC you coming?" my girlfriend Jenna asked

"Yeah" I said but I allowed myself to look back just once.

Clare was always the very best part of me. She brought out a KC that I wanted to be, a KC that I didn't know still existed. I love her, simple as that. At one time, I would have liked to believe that she loved me. I added a silent prayer to a god I don't really believe in, but if Clare has taught me anything, its that you have to faith. I prayed that Eli treated her better than I did. Treats her like the queen she is. I pray she has all happiness that this crazy world has to offer.. and most importantly I pray that he realizes what he has and never lets it go. I turned away and added silently almost like a prayer.

"I love you Clare. I wish you all the best."

Yes when a heartbreaks, no it don't breakeven.