Written 12/10/09 for lilmimichan's challenge on Lunaescence. Crack and OOCness follow~

"S-so let me get this straight," Tsuna mumbled quietly, his cheeks as pink as ever. "You want me to dress up like a girl as part of training?"

"That's right," Reborn said, his back to the baffled mafia leader. "It will be a test of disguise: someday you will need to infiltrate the enemy's territory undercover. I've already called Haru over to help you with your outfit. May the best guardian win."

"I don't believe this…" Tsuna ran his fingers through his hair and sighed.

Reborn smirked, his eyes hidden in shadow.

Gokudera's eyes bulged out of their sockets. "Whoever wins this test of yours will become the Tenth's permanent right-hand man?"

Reborn nodded his head and laced his fingers together. "That's correct."

"Then I'll just have to beat everyone else!"

"Whoever wins will get a new pair of boxing gloves," Reborn explained, sipping his tea.

"Sounds like… fun," Kyoko said with a wary smile. "Let's prepare your outfit now, onii-san."

Ryohei pumped his fist in the air, as enthusiastic as ever. "Yosh! I will dress to the EXTREME!"

"So you want us all to dress up as girls, Reborn?" Yamamoto asked as he cleaned his bat.

"Yes. Whoever wins gets a new baseball bat."

The dark-haired boy simply laughed. "I don't see how Tsuna or the others need a baseball bat. I guess I have no choice but to win."

Lambo had been stupid enough to trick into cross-dressing with promises of candy as the first prize – I-Pin had offered to help, so Reborn didn't need to worry about them for the time being. He needn't bother asking Mukuro to join in the fun, because he already had a beautiful female alter-ego, so that would be counted as cheating. Now there was just Hibari left to persuade, but Reborn knew the right buttons to push.

"If you win, I will let you fight me."

The prefect had simply walked away and pretended not to give it a second thought, though the Arcobaleno knew he would never pass up an opportunity like this. If anyone laughed at him, he would just beat the shit out of them with his tonfa.

'This is too easy,' Reborn thought with an evil grin. He couldn't wait until the next day when everyone would meet at the Namimori Shrine, all glammed up.

"I won't let that turf head or baseball freak win! I won't let any of them win – except maybe Hibari, but that bastard wouldn't dare show up dressed as a girl; it would ruin his reputation," Gokudera mumbled to himself, snapping on some latex gloves and protective goggles. He smoothed out a piece of paper skillfully labeled "Mission Possible!" and looked over the notes he had written not so long ago. For some unknown reason, he began reading his evil plan aloud:

"First, I'm going to mix a bunch of cosmetics with some of my sister's Poison Cooking which I've spent hours grinding up into a thin dust-"

He looked at the purple powder in front of him and held back the urge to retch.

"-and then I'm going to put the cosmetics in these baskets-"

He then held up a bunch of Easter baskets, each decorated with a pretty purple bow.

"-and leave them on everyone's doorsteps! And then when they put it on, the Poison Cooking will work its magic and give everyone… a rash!"

He threw his hands up in the air and laughed maniacally, not seeing what could possibly go wrong with his plan.

Hibari had his own plan, however: bite everyone until they were black and blue.

'Nuff said.

The night passed fairly quickly, and before anyone knew, it was the Day of Judgment. As everyone prepared themselves, one thought stuck in their head:

Who would win the challenge/baseball bat/position of the Tenth's right-hand/boxing gloves/right to fight Reborn?

Find out…

.

.

.

…right now.

Naturally, the first person to arrive at the Shrine was Hibari, sporting his regular Namimori uniform. Not a speck of make-up was to be found anywhere on him, but he was still confident he would win.

Not ten minutes later, Gokudera stumbled onto the scene, his head low with shame and embarrassment. He had managed to borrow one of Haru's spare uniform sets and had even dolled himself up with make-up and tied his hair in pigtails, but…

A huge rash had broken out across his face.

"Damn Bianchi…" he spat venomously. "I don't even know why I let her help me put make-up on…"

Well, at least he wasn't keeling over sick. It's the thought that counts.

Gokudera, having been so caught up in his murderous thoughts, hadn't heard Hibari approach him from behind. "Herbivore."

The silver-haired teen froze in horror. A few seconds passed and he felt a warm sensation running down his leg – shit, not only had he pissed on his ego, but also- oh wait, it was just his imagination. Very slowly, he built up the courage to turn around until he was face-to-face with the cold-hearted prefect, who had his evil tonfa of doom at the ready. However, upon seeing the state of Gokudera's face, Hibari lowered his weapons, deciding that the boy's face was fucked up enough already.

It was safe to say that Gokudera remained a minimum of ten metres away from Hibari.

Five minutes later, Yamamoto and Ryohei showed up together, also wearing the Namimori girls' uniforms, but with very little make-up. Yamamoto had a blue bow in his hair and Ryohei had a pink one that they had both borrowed from Kyoko.

"Oi, what happened to your face?" Yamamoto inquired, noticing the unnatural redness in Gokudera's skin.

"He always looks like that, don't you octopus head?" Ryohei jeered.

Gokudera gawked. "Y-you guys don't have rashes! Didn't you get the baskets I put on your doorsteps?"

"Oh, that was you?" Yamamoto blinked innocently. "We decided not to wear any, just in case it was a trick."

"I-I don't believe it… Yamamoto's prettier than me…" Gokudera curled up in a small ball and rocked back and forth, chibi tears running down his cheeks. After a few seconds he threw his head back and wailed: "I have failed you, Tenth!"

The other two boys just stared at him. "I think he's finally lost it," Ryohei mumbled.

"Hwahaha, Lambo-san is here!"

"L-Lambo, be careful in those shoes!"

"TENTH!" Gokudera jumped up from his fetal position and literally beamed. His look of admiration quickly died when he realized that his beloved boss had also been forced to cross-dress.

Tsuna went the whole nine yards: complete make-up (dark lipstick, eyeliner, blue eye shadow and blush), a pink flower-print dress he stole from Mama's wardrobe and black high-heels.

And Lambo…

Lambo looked like a little prostitute, his make-up literally caked onto his face and his tiny red dress (that read 'JUICY') as skimpy as anyone had ever seen that was meant for a five-year-old.

"Ehm, T-Tenth, you look…" Gokudera, for once, was lost for words. "…beautiful?"

A dark figure emerged from the shadows. "For cross-dressing and encouraging child prostitution, I'll have to bite you all to death twice as hard.

Everyone tensed up when they heard Hibari's callous threat – Tsuna even 'eeped' like a girl. Gokudera had forgotten he was still there

Lambo decided it was appropriate to say the stupidest thing possible for that situation. "You wish, girlfriend."

"L-Lambo!" everyone apart from Hibari – who looked even more annoyed – said in unison, stunned at the child's behavior.

"Say cheese."

Everyone turned around in surprise.

Snap.Reborn stood there with his little green camera, a wide smirk on his face. He grabbed the photo after it developed and lifted the hand with his camera up; it then morphed into Leon, who jumped on top of Reborn's hat and made himself comfortable.

"Now you all have to obey me, or else I'll show this picture to everyone.

"W-what?" Tsuna stammered, his eyes as wide as saucers. "B-blackmail! You organized this so that you could blackmail us into obeying you!

Reborn's smirk remained. "Now you all should have the will to train twice as hard."

Hibari 'fu-n'ed and took his leave; he had better things to do with his time than hang around a group of sexually confused minors.

In a way, Hibari had won the fight. He never dressed up.