I do not own Saiyuki and I made no money writing this.

I like the way you look at me. The way you look at me, when you think I'm not watching you. But I always keep my eye on you blondie. A guy like you? Who couldn't? Oh, you know you're hot stuff. I can tell. The way you move gives everything away.

I've seen you strut around without your robe, half dressed, leaning back with a cig in your mouth, a beer in your hand and that dirty look in your eyes. That kill-you look. You know anyone, man or woman, can't not want a taste of that.

So pretty. Yeah, you are. But you ain't no lady. A nice romantic time and a nice romantic bed- with you? Forget it. I'd take you to a back alley. Absolutely. No nice words. No sweet nothings. Hell, no. I'd fuck you up against that wooden shack until we bring it down. Are you a moaner? Are you the silent type? Nah. You're a fighter. You'd cuss me out, wouldn't you princess? Call me perverted and disgusting - in between telling me to do you harder and faster. And you'd punch, you'd kick and you'd bite if I didn't.

Am I right?

Look at you, glaring at me. Yeah, I know I'm right. "What are you looking at, idiot?" You know what I'm looking at. You sure do.

I light a smoke and sit back. "I'll let you know." I laugh. "One day."

You pop me one with that damn fan. "Shut up and give me a cigarette."

"You're out, so soon?" Maybe I can help you with that. "Have to deal with my lights."

You lean real close. Man, you tease. I already said you could have one. But go ahead. Treat me to the Sanzo sneer. I bet my come would look great all over it. "Give me two in that case."

Then you pop it into that mouth and press the tip against mine. Yeah, look into my eyes, Sanzo. Right into these eyes. "I'll give you all you need, princess."

Oh, no. Wait a second. "Come on!" So what's with the fan, again?

"Keep your mouth shut or I'll stuff it with-"

I can't- he said- fuck I can't stop cracking up! Or falling out of my chair! Oh, fuck! Stuff my mouth, princess! All night long!

"You drunk, stupid-"

Hey! Your kicks are lame but it still hurts! "Sorry! Alright! Whatever!" Lemme get up. And don't take away my bar stool. Or tell Master we're done. No! Shit, princess. You're a hard, hard bitch.

"I'm not in the mood for this." You glare at me again. Oh, man. I know what you're in the mood for. It's written all over your face. "Go drown in a toilet, you cockroach." And you shove me - by the face- into a table.

Oh, you play so hard to get, blondie.