Hey everyone. I've been working on this one for a long time now, mostly because its gone through about a million and one incarnations.

Now don't get me wrong, I love the finalie, and I love the implications it has for next year, but I wanted to write a fic in which Peter and Olivia discuss the reasons he went over there to begin with, and so this fic pretends that it really was the real Olivia that made it home.

It's a one shot that turned into a two shot because I can't seem to shut myself up these days. I hope you like it.

Olivia paused on her doorstep, wincing as she stretched to reach her spare key. She was stiff and sore from crossing universes twice in forty eight hours, and the fight with her alter in between hadn't exactly helped matters. And now to top everything off, it was only when she had been sitting somewhat comfortably in the back of a cab that she'd realised her purse was still in the lab, abandoned on Walter's desk. Astrid was of course too busy fussing over Peter to properly watch his father, so God knows what would have become of it by the time she went back to look tomorrow morning.

Her immediate impulse had been to tell the cab driver to turn around so she could fetch it, but as pathetic as it sounded, she'd hoped to avoid seeing Peter again that night. She had meant every word she'd said to him on the other side, and she had missed him terribly these past few weeks, but now that they were all home and relatively safe, she needed some space to think. When Peter had tried to kiss her all those months ago in Massive Dynamic, she'd felt an odd mixture of excitement and terror, and right now she was having similar feelings. Except this time, instead of asking him on a date, she'd decided it would be better to take some time to herself that night.

She tossed the key onto the coffee table and stifled a yawn as she moved through to the kitchen. She reached for the painkillers, and without hesitation poured herself a large glass of scotch to take with them. She'd told the rest of her 'odd little family unit' that she was tired when she'd slipped out the door and it hadn't been a lie. In truth, she hadn't really gotten any more than a few hours here and there since Peter had been hospitalised. However, she just knew she wouldn't be able to sleep unless she took some time to just think about possibilities for the future.

She was worried about Peter, and herself, and the fact that they were very possibly about to tumble into a relationship together. She'd had feelings for him for a while now, but vocalising them hadn't ever really been an option before now. When she'd considered all the drama and danger that surrounded them every day, as well as the pain that still lingered from her last relationship, she'd just decided that some things were better left unsaid.

But then earlier that night, in Peter's apartment on the other side, getting him back had been the priority and she'd finally allowed herself to say the words she was certain he wanted to hear. He'd tilted his head down when she'd leaned in towards him, kissed her back and pulled her close with a single hand on her back. But after they'd broken apart, he'd avoided eye contact as he told her he planned to return to their universe, and the drive to the Opera House had been uncomfortably silent.

His unease hadn't been entirely unexpected. From the day they'd met, she'd known how difficult he found it to trust people and it would be foolish of her to believe that forgiveness would come so easily. After all, he had been so visibly hurt moments before they'd kissed- he'd seemed so pained to learn that she'd known the truth about him for as long as a few weeks. Realistically, one kiss couldn't fix everything between them, but she really hoped he could open up to her soon.

She was startled by a knock on the door and she frowned, hoping that Sam hadn't chosen this moment to check in on her. Her expression quickly turned into a smile however, when she opened it to find a contrite looking Peter standing in her doorway with a sheepish smile on his face and his hands awkwardly stuffed into his pockets.

"I know you said you wanted a few hours to yourself before the next emergency and I thought that I needed that too, but I was just out wandering the streets when I realised that I really, really wanted to see you" he broke off for a second, his head tilted, obviously trying to judge her reaction, but she kept her face neutral, "So can I come in?" Olivia nodded, stepping aside to allow him to enter,

"Drink?" She offered

"Definitely" he agreed.

He followed her into the kitchen, watching with nervous eyes as she poured him a glass of whisky, but it was only when she turned to give it to him that she realised he was standing much closer than he would usually dare. Their eyes locked and their fingers brushed as she handed him the tumbler and a wave of butterflies took flight in her stomach at the slightest contact.

He took a quick gulp of the liquid, wincing as it went down and leaned forward, putting his glass down on the counter beside her. His hand stayed on the surface, and she smiled a little, realising he had effectively trapped her between his arm and the counter. She looked up at him, noting that his eyes were dark, and fixated on her lips, and a little shiver of anticipation ran through her. She'd kissed him first earlier, but she was quite confident that it wasn't going to take him long to return the favour. However instead of closing the gap between them, his eyes flicked left and his free hand came up to play with a strand of her new, darker hair.

"Are you going to keep it like this?" He asked, twirling it between his fingers.

"I don't know" she confessed, "I think I'll probably dye it back." In these past few hours, hair colour had been the least of her concerns.

"Good" Peter's voice was a low rumble that was undeniably sexy, "I thought I liked it better, but I don't. It isn't you." She could only nod as his hand skirted lower, pinching a little of her top between his fingers.

"Now this, I really like. I don't think I've ever seen you in a primary colour before today, but red suits you Dunham." She nearly remarked on how similar his words were to Sam's, but settled for giving him a small smile instead. His left hand fell from her shoulder while his eyes again moved to stare at her lips. She swallowed, trying to clear the lump that had formed in her throat, feeling suddenly, inexplicably nervous. Peter was seemingly oblivious to her doubts and was beginning to lean in. It was only when his hand rose to cup her cheek, much like it had in New York, that the panic really took over. And so, surprising herself as much as him, she turned her head to one side to lean out of his touch.

Earlier that evening, she'd ducked out of the lab so that she could have some time alone to consider what had happened. Nothing had changed since then- she was still just as confused as before and his proximity was doing nothing to help that.

"We need to talk" she breathed. His eyes sought hers, his brows furrowing a little in confusion, before finally he nodded. Without warning, he took a few steps back, taking his drink with him.

"I guess we do." Their eyes met again, and for the first time she noticed that he was just as conflicted as she. She waited for him to say something, but she was only met with silence. She looked down, taking a sip from her own glass for courage, before she mumbled,

"I'm sorry. I really am."

"For what?" He spoke in a curt tone, and when she didn't immediately answer, he continued, "Is this your way of telling me you lied to get me back here?" his voice was steady, but his hand clenching the glass betrayed his hidden emotions.

"No," she answered instantly, "No. Of course I didn't lie. You know me better than that, Peter."

"Do I?" he countered, his eyes now sparkling with the same furious hurt she'd both noticed and failed to realise the significance of back in the hospital before he'd disappeared, "Because I thought I knew you before, and then you decided keep something as big as being from another universe from me." Olivia was still leaning against the kitchen counter, and she couldn't help but think that if she'd just let him kiss her, they'd be having a hell of a lot more fun than they were now. But then they would only have been delaying the inevitable. She would still be scared and shameful and he would be just as insecure and angry.

"I know." She said calmly, "And that's why I'm apologising. When Walter first told me, I gave him two weeks to tell you before I did it myself. It was only as time passed that I found myself more and more reluctant for you to hear it from anyone. I mean look at it from my perspective, Peter. You were practically a nomad less than two years ago, and I was just afraid you'd pack up and go as soon as you heard."

"I've changed. You of all people should know that." He was still terse, but his voice had softened a little and the latter sentence came out more like a plea than a furious accusation.

"You're right" she agreed, "Of course I know that, but you have to realise that there were days were you were the only thing that was keeping me sane. Even though I knew there was only the smallest chance of you leaving, it just seemed like too big a risk." This time it was her turn for her to seek his gaze, only for him to stare into his drink.

"I would have stayed." He said finally, "If you'd come to me at any point before that damn bridge and told me the truth… well, I probably would've had one hell of an argument with Walter, but I would have stuck around for you."

"Peter…" she began, but he merely shook his head and took a further two steps back.

"You're the one who wanted to talk, Liv. And you've said your part, so now it's my turn." He paused long enough to down the rest of his drink, before continuing in a pained tone "You let me believe that the reason you'd been acting so strange was that I'd tried to kiss you. I mean, you just sat there when I basically apologised to you for what had happened. So when I was lying overnight in that hospital bed and I realised that I had to glimmer, and that you had to know… I suppose I just thought there really wasn't any point in me staying any longer." He paused, looking helplessly at the empty glass in his hand. She wanted to pour him another, but she was afraid that any movement on her part would cut him off, and as painful as this conversation was turning out to be, she knew that everything had to be aired now.

"What I mean is you and I are supposed to be a team, Olivia. I could have tolerated Walter's betrayal, because quite frankly it's not the first time he's let me down, but you… that was something else altogether." For the first time in a while, his eyes met hers and she was relieved to see that he no longer seemed to be angry, and indeed his voice was now weary rather than hurt-filled. "But like I said to Walter, you both crossed a universe to save my life, so I don't suppose I have the right to say anything but thank you."

"You would have done the same for me" she answered, and he slowly nodded. After everything they'd gone through recently, there seemed to be no sense in denying it anymore.

"You know why I came here tonight?" He moved to stand beside her, and took the liberty of pouring himself another large glass, "Ever since I was a boy, I've never felt like I've fitted in anywhere...I suppose we know why now, but at the time, it was kind of damaging, you know? I spent my whole adult life lying and running and never getting close to anyone. Working with you was the first time I felt like I didn't have to have a bag packed in case I felt like leaving in a hurry." He paused to offer her a small, but genuine smile.

"At first, I thought it was the pattern and then I told myself it was because I was reconnecting with Walter, but some part of me knew that it was you. It's always been you. So when you said that I belong with you tonight, it felt like this weight had been lifted" he took a shaky breath, and another, smaller sip this time, "but then I decided to go for a walk and I stated to think about how much better off both worlds would be if Walter had just let me die, and that was when I ended up on your doorstep, desperate to see you, because you're the only person that makes me feel like I'm exactly where I'm meant to be." He finished, looking at her a little expectantly. She knew she should be flattered, but her mind kept playing another part of what he'd said on loop, 'both worlds would be better off without me.'

"Don't think that you'd be better off dead Peter." she begged, "You've saved so many people by just being here." However, he shook his head again, and walked backwards again, putting the same old distance between them.

"That's just it. None of those people would need saving if it wasn't for me." She finally managed to catch his eyes, and saw an overwhelming self hatred there that terrified her,

"Peter" she closed the space between them, laying a hand on his rough cheek, forcing him to look at her. He didn't pull away, but he did stiffen and his stare was cold.

"Charlie's dead because I'm alive. And John. And apparently Nick Lane and God knows who else." She knew he was only saying these things to push her away, but they still hit her hard. If that little boy had been allowed to die in his bed, maybe the world would be the way it was supposed to be. But even though she could never have known any different, her universe would have been a bleaker place without Peter Bishop.

At once, tears sprang to her eyes for John, Charlie and Peter alike, and of course for herself, for it seemed that there was no universe where she would be allowed to have all three.

"None of this is your fault. You have to know that" she said thickly, swallowing to rid herself of the lump that had formed in her throat, "Except for the part where you just blindly followed Newton into another universe. That was pretty stupid."

"Yeah, it was" he agreed numbly, his eyes shining as well, "God, I'm so sorry" she had the distinct impression that he was apologising for existing and she really didn't want that. Shutting her eyes for a moment, she fought an internal battle, and the cowardly part of her lost. She'd already confessed how she felt that evening, but she sensed that he needed to hear it again; that he needed her to spell it out for him in undeniable terms.

"You know I love you, Peter" his smile was small, but sincere. He opened his mouth, presumably to return the sentiment, but she spoke over him. This had to be about him, not her.

"And so does Walter, and Astrid, and even Ella's been asking where her Uncle Peter's been recently. You mean so much to so many people, so please don't wish your life away."

"Uncle Peter?" He gave a gruff chuckle, a few tears slipping out as he did so.

"Don't start me" she shook her head, batting away a few tears of her own "I left her with Walter for less than an hour and when I came back, she started insisting that you and I were soulmates. That I'd mended your broken heart or you'd fixed mine. Something like that." Despite the fact that both of their faces were now streaked with tears, Peter's smile grew a little wider.

"Come here." he opened his arms and pulled her into a hug. Without offering any resistance, Olivia settled into his embrace, allowing him to rest a cheek on the top of her head, "I missed you," he mumbled into her hair, "You have no idea how many times I nearly called you."

"But you called Broyles instead" she complained, half annoyed, but mostly just happy to have him back.

"He told you that, huh?" He grimaced,

"Yep. Turns out he has the worst poker face ever," she pulled away from him, but only far enough so that she could look him straight in the eye. Peter smiled, his eyes again flicking down to stare at her lips. This time she said nothing as he slowly leant in, innocently brushing his lips against hers.

There's more to come on Sunday, if you're interested.

Thanks to Jen for betaing for me.