Chapter 5 ~ Lily's Fear

~ Quote ~

Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen. ~ Winston Churchill

'That's great!' James announced cheerily, 'it will be fun!' It seemed I wasn't the only one who had suddenly relaxed when they Slytherins left. The entire campsite seemed to breath a sigh of relief.

'But first we have some quick rules to run through, sorting out sleeping arrangements that sort of thing, and then we'll be getting onto activities!' James clapped his hands together and spun to face me. As did everyone else.

Quite unexpectedly I felt peculiar sensation in the pit of my stomach. It was something I hadn't felt for quite a while; I was nervous.

Letting out an awkward cough I began talking. 'Right, well, thanks James.' I paused, looking at all the eyes fixed on me. 'Rules.' I coughed again, not missing the confused look James shot me.

'So, they're basically the same ones we have at Hogwarts, um, with a couple of new additions, due to… um, our…. erm, surroundings.' My face was now bright red and I could feel a trickle of sweat making its way down my temple.

'And I'm going to run through those for you guys!' James cut in brightly, taking the attention off of me. I took a step back and edged myself in beside him, using him like a barrier of protection from the expectation on all the prefects faces.

'Lily?' I snapped out of my daydream and back to embarrassing reality when I looked up to see everyone staring at me. Again.

'Yeah?' I squeaked.

'The tent groups?' he asked, holding out his hand for the list.

'Oh, right. Yes, well… do I have them?' I asked. James gave me an odd look and reached around me to take them out of my hand. 'Oh, I did.' I mumbled, remembering that I had gotten them out of my bag in preparation earlier.

James called the groups out, and handed each one a tent, a map and the first set of instructions. 'So, this is your first task!' James called over the chatter. You have been provided with the first sentence from the instruction manual on how to put up the tent. You also have map. It will be like an orienteering treasure hunt, if you will.' James turned grinning to me, probably remembering how he had snorted at the idea when I first suggested it to him.

'Basically, you should have the first clue on the top of your map. Follow the clues and it will lead you to the second part of the instructions and another part of your tent, for example, it could the poles.'

'What do you mean, 'another part of your tent'?' One boy from Ravenclaw called out. 'Tents don't have parts! You just pull them out of the bag and put them up.' There were a few titters around the crowd; even I let out a small chuckle, but it appeared that the majority of the prefects' really were confused by this statement.

'Er, well, I found this confusing as well at first.' James laughed. 'But basically, muggle tents need assembling. They don't just pop up with the wave of a wand!'

'So how are we supposed to figure out how to make the tent?'

'Well…' I cut across James here, knowing that he was still confused by the entire thing of it.

'Okay. We guessed some of you would have less practise with muggle objects than others. So every group has been given someone who is either muggleborn or grew up with muggles, and so has an alright idea about how these things work. For this particular task I would recommend that when you spilt the group into the assembling the tent and orienteering groups that you leave someone who can work out what they're doing with the tent in the assembling group. But that's just advice and you don't have to take it. '

I abruptly stopped taking when I realised I had been rambling. I turned panicked back toward James and he saved me once again by quickly picked up where I had left off.

'So yeah, that's about it really! The first group who completely and correctly, assembles their tent will be the winner. And yes' James chuckled before anyone could ask 'there will be prizes for the winners.'

Everyone cheered, and I let out a sharp burst on the whistle that was hanging around my neck. 'Begin!' James bellowed, looking way to happy about ordering everyone around. I imagine that's why he loves being quidditch captain so much.

There was a frenzy of activity as the group dynamics were sorted out. The loudmouths all stepped up to be leaders and the quieter students just did as they were told. In less than two minutes everyone had a pair from their group of four running off in search of tent parts. Never mind that the majority of these kids had never learnt to read a map or anything.

Once the buzz had quietened down and the teams that had been left behind as tent assemblers realised there was nothing for them to do now but wait, James tapped me lightly on the shoulder and tilting his head away from the nosy prefects asked if he could have a quick word.

'What's up?' I asked once James stopped walking.

'Are you alright?' he asked.

'Yeah'. I answered, surprised at the question. 'Why?'

'It's just that, well, you seemed kind of nervous back there earlier.'

I coughed to cover my embarrassment but James knew me too well to let me get away with that and just waited patiently for me to answer.

'So, I don't really…do public speaking.'

James raised his eyebrows. 'You're joking, right?'

'No!' I cried indignantly. 'I'm being serious, all those… eyes watching me. It freaks me out.'

'You never seemed to have a problem with eyes every time you publicly rejected me.' He said the words lightly but there was an obvious pain beneath them. I chose to sidestep over that particular mine bomb by pretending I hadn't heard it.

'Yes, but I was usually really mad then, and I wasn't really thinking about anyone looking at me, all I was thinking about was you.' The huge grin that jumped onto James's face told me had taken that completely the wrong way but I decided to let it go.

'Well, you seemed alright when you talking about the tents…? He trailed off.

I sighed. 'Yeah, well, again, I forgot that everyone was actually listening to me, and in my head I was only talking to you.' James cocked his head questioningly at me and I decided that seeing as I had brought it up I was now obliged to admit to the rest of it. 'I was just really happy that I knew something you didn't. I was trying to show off.' I admitted reluctantly, scratching my nose and waiting for James's reaction.

'Well' James sighed. 'You're right. It is hard to find something well, anyone, can do better than me, so I suppose when you get your chance to flaunt it…' I smacked his chest, hurting my hand.

'No, but seriously' he said, his voice sobering up, 'why do you get so afraid?'

'I can't explain it really. How do you not?' I questioned. James shrugged. I guess I just know that I have something to say that's worth listening to.'

'Oh.' The epiphany hit me like a ton of rocks. There was no way I ever going to admit this to Potter, but I knew it to be true in myself; the majority of the time, I didn't believe I had something to say that was worth listening to. Maybe this weekend would benefit me as much as everyone else.

'So does this mean you think I might make a good Head Boy after all?' James grinned stepping toward me a wicked grin on his face.

'Hmm.' I deliberated, taking a few cautious steps backward. 'You may have a few redeeming qualities.' I allowed.

'A few? James spluttered. I think I have more than a few! It appears you have forgotten about my amazing tent building abilities.'

I couldn't help snorting at that one. 'I will agree that you have a couple of things that make you useful.' I smiled allowing to James to edge a bit closer to me.

'Oh yeah?' He murmured playfully, stooping down so that our eyes were level.

'Yeah. For example, you're really great at fetching food.' I laughed when James straightened himself up, a scowl marking his face. It was clear he had thought that conversation was going in another direction. So had I, I reluctantly admitted to myself. And that thought scared me more than anything else.

'Jam donut?' James called from inside his collapsed tent.

'Don't mind I if I do.' I smiled, taking one. The sugary goodness cheered me up immensely.

A/N: So I didn't really find this chapter that good, but I haven't updated in ages and I've been trying to write this for so long now that I think its best that I just post the chapter and move on from the headache of it all.

I really hope it isn't that bad, and everything should be up to standards for the next chapter!

I would really appreciate some feedback on this story though! I think it's funny but I have quite an odd sense of humour so, who knows? Let me know what you think of it!

Love, Anna-Cate xxx