A/N: Stephenie Meyer owns all recognizable elements of Twilight. I'm not guessing she'd approve of what I've done to her characters, but I like to think she'd enjoy it anyway, lol.

Thanks, of course, to Lacym3, who is awesome enough to drink malt liquor in parking lots and dance the night away with me, as well as keep me enthusiastic about this story and help me make it better. I love you, Lacy.

To Have and To Hold

Chapter 8

Dr. Carlisle Cullen took the test results and medical chart from his nurse before walking into Jasper Whitlock's room. Bella was sitting on the edge of his bed, and she and Jasper were holding hands. Both looked up hopefully as Carlisle entered.

"You got news for us, Dr Cullen?" Jasper asked.

Carlisle flipped through the top few papers which contained the radiologist's reports, and then looked up at Jasper, frowning. "I'm sorry, Mr. Whitlock," he said. "I don't have any answers for you just yet. It looks like I'm going to need to do some more tests."

Jasper sighed heavily. It wasn't the good news he'd been hoping for.

"It seems that you have sustained some damage to your kidneys. How severe it is, and what this means for your health, are answers we won't have until we run some blood tests," Carlisle announced.

"Can I get some kinda hint, what I'm looking at here, Doc?" Jasper asked as Bella squeezed his hand.

"It's hard to say, really. It could be as simple as bruising, which would require nothing more than a bit of rest on your part to heal. On the other hand, we could be looking at kidney failure caused by the trauma you've sustained. In that case, you would need to begin a regimen of dialysis, leading to a kidney transplant."

The news hit Jasper and Bella hard. While it wasn't yet certain, Dr. Cullen's worst case scenario was a very hard blow. While neither had ever doubted the danger of the situation with James, Jasper's escape and their subsequent reunion had given them both a moment where they felt safe. Invincible, even. That moment had just been crushed.

Carlisle, seeing the fear in both of their eyes, gestured to Angela, his nurse, to wait a few moments to take the blood from Jasper, and instead stepped forward, taking a seat in the chair beside the bed.

"Listen, Jasper, I don't want to lull you into some false sense of security here. The reality of your situation is that you've been badly malnourished and beaten, and now your kidneys are showing up dark on your scans. I'd like to hope for the best, but we really do have to prepare for the worst right now. I can promise you, though, if the worst does turn out to be facing us, we will deal with it. Alright?"

There was no question that Carlisle Cullen was an excellent doctor. His medical skills were second to none, but it in was his bedside manner that he truly shone. This was just another example of that.

Jasper nodded slowly and turned his head to press a soft kiss onto Bella's forehead. "Alright then, Doc. Let's do this."
Jasper held his arm out, and Angela, after taking a moment to glance at Dr. Cullen to check for his approval, crossed the room and began the procedure to collect Jasper's blood. Once the sample was gathered, Carlisle announced that he would be back in the morning with the test results, then he and Angela left the lovers alone to begin processing the latest news as well as everything else that had happened to them.

…...

Renee sat in her studio, singing softly to herself as she stood before her easel, taking a moment to admire her work. It was the first time she'd felt the presence of her muse in months; the first time that she'd picked up her paintbrush and creating anything besides a splatter of paint dripping down the canvas after she'd thrown it in frustration.

A smile crossed Renee's face as she realized that she was quite happy with the piece. A few touches here and there and she'd be done. As she set down the brush to pick up a sponge, her smile suddenly faded. Taking another look at the canvas, guilt washed over Renee in heavy waves as she realized exactly why she'd been able to paint again after so long. Carlisle.

Just like the first time he'd walked into her life, Carlisle had awoken her creativity and helped her to find her muse. And she hated him for it. Or, more accurately, she hated herself for it. She wanted more than anything to forget that Carlisle Cullen had ever entered her studio, had ever held her in his arms, had ever kissed her lips. She wanted to be inspired by anything other than the man who had filled her heart, then crushed it with three words. I'm sorry. Goodbye. She repeated the words over and over in her head, trying to banish him from her mind.

When Renee turned back to her canvas, she took a deep, steadying breath and tried to paint again, doing everything in her power to keep Charlie Swan at the forefront of her mind. Instead, she stood staring at the canvas, realizing that, the harder she tried to control her own thoughts, the more impossible it was to paint.

After standing for a few moments frozen in place as she contemplated, Renee closed her eyes, hung her head, and just breathed. When she opened her eyes, she lifted the sponge to the canvas and once again began to sing softly as she re-immersed herself in the painting.

Renee was too caught up in her work to register the sound of the studio door opening and closing as Charlie let himself in. Realizing that she had not yet noticed him, Charlie made the decision to stand back for a few moments and take in her work. It had been so long since he'd seen her create anything in this studio other than a mess; he wondered what had inspired her today.

Looking over his wife's shoulder, Charlie took in the painting. He had been married to the woman long enough to have learned how to look at and understand her work, despite having known nothing of art when they first met.

In the center of the canvas was a heart, upon which he saw bandages and stitching. The heart itself was painted on a background of thick black brush strokes, strokes that had bore the trademark signs of an angry Renee, and was stretched out in its upper part, being pulled in either direction by two hands. Charlie found himself uncomfortable looking at the painting, but he remained silent, not wanting to distract Renee while she was working.

Finally finished, Renee stepped back from the easel to admire her work. She stared at it thoughtfully for a moment, noticing the tiny details that she added without thinking, such as the different shadings on the heart that made it appear bruised. Just as she let the smile cross her lips, Charlie called her name and Renee let out a surprised shriek.

"Sorry," he said as she jumped. "Didn't mean to scare you."

"It's alright," Renee replied, her hand covering her fast-beating heart as she attempted to calm herself. "I didn't hear you come in."

Charlie nodded. "I know. I've been here awhile. You were pretty caught up in your work. Nice to see you painting again," he added with a smile. Renee blushed a bit and fumbled for words, but Charlie pretended not to notice. "Listen," he said, then paused for a bit to furrow his brow and run a hand through his hair. Charlie had just gotten a lot of information from the Whitlock family, and he was pretty damn uncomfortable with most of it. "Did Bella say anything to you, or did you notice anything off about her since her accident?"

Renee shook her head. "Nothing that couldn't be explained by the fact that she had amnesia. Why?"

"The man on the alter with her today? Not Jasper. Jasper's been held hostage for weeks by a twin brother that he never knew he had. And worse, Bella's known that. Almost the whole time. I just..." Charlie shook his head, sighing heavily. "I just don't understand why she didn't tell us."

Walking over to her husband, Renee placed a hand on Charlie's bicep and rubbed slowly, trying to calm and comfort him. "I knew it. I knew that something was wrong with Jasper these past weeks. He was off. But who the hell ever would have guessed this?" Charlie muttered.

Charlie was sick with guilt and worry. He blamed himself for Jasper's injuries, for the risk to Bella's safety...all because he did not follow up on his instinct.

Sighing again, Charlie wanted to take his mind off of the case for a bit. He looked up at his wife's easel and examined her artistry once again. As he stared at the stretched heart and the two hands that held it, he couldn't help but think back to the moment he walked out of his room at the hospital. Renee and Dr. Cullen had been standing too close – they'd jumped in a way that suggested guilt when he'd walked into the hall. Charlie had been questioning whether Renee might have feelings for Carlisle ever since she began fighting him for Edward Cullen's release, but between her actions today and this painting...

Charlie decided in that moment that it was time to start following his instincts again. He wasn't chief of police for nothing, after all.

"Renee, what made you decide to paint today?" he asked, doing his best to make his voice sound merely curious, rather than accusatory.

Renee looked back over her shoulder at the painting, then back at her husband, who could see the wheels turning in her head. "I don't know... I guess, um, Bella's wedding inspired me," she said, stuttering through her reply.

Charlie knew that she was hiding something, but he wanted fact to back him up, so he decided to play it cool for the time being. "Well, I'm glad to hear that," he said, then turned and walked back toward the door. "I'm going to have a beer and relax. I'll see you later, Renee."

…..

Back in his hospital room, Jasper Whitlock was ready to talk to his girlfriend about everything that had gone on while they were separated. He had plenty of questions of his own, and he didn't doubt that she needed answers as well.

Glancing down at the beautiful girl sitting beside his bed, he thought back on James's behavior while he had held him in the basement, and chills went down his spine.

"Bella," he whispered, stroking the side of her face. "Bella, I need to know. Did James hurt you?"

She looked up at him, a single tear sliding down her cheek. "Everything he did to you hurts me, Jasper. Don't you know that? Every day that you were gone hurt me. Every second of wondering whether he would break his promise and kill you..." Overcome by tears, Bella could not finish her sentence.

"How long did you know that he wasn't me?" Jasper asked after Bella had calmed.

"It was about a week and a half after he took you. When he was trying to get out of our house, he knocked me down the stairs. I was unconscious for a few days, and then I woke up with amnesia. Once Dr Cullen allowed me to go home, I started to remember things, a little bit at a time. I figured it out the night that he took his shirt off in front of me..." Bella trailed off, reaching her hand out to touch Jasper's abdomen over his hospital gown.

"Bella," he choked. "Did he?" Jasper couldn't finish the sentence. He wanted to know. Needed to, even, but he could not make himself say the words.

"No," she whispered, shaking her head both to stress her answer and try to erase the memories. "When I didn't see a scar, I knew something was wrong. I faked cramps and he let me be. The next day he realized that I knew who he was. Well, who he wasn't, at least. He told me everything... He showed me your picture and told me he'd kill you if I didn't marry him."

Jasper reached up and grabbed a fistful of his own hair, tugging it forcefully. He was having trouble understanding how Bella had known for weeks and yet continued to put herself at risk. "God damn it, Bella! Why didn't you tell someone? Why didn't you tell your father?"

"I was scared, Jas," she whispered, looking into his eyes, pleading with him to understand. "He wanted me enough that I knew he wouldn't hurt me. But I was scared to death for you. Even if you were away from me, you were at least alive. I was desperate to keep you that way."

"Never again, Bella," he demanded, shaking his head. "Don't you ever put yourself in danger like that for me again. My god, Sugar, when I think of the things he could have done to you..."

Jasper swallowed hard as he slammed his fist against the mattress. Charlie had informed him that James had driven off of one of the cliffs in La Push and that the car exploded on impact. There was little reason to doubt that James was dead, but that didn't make Jasper feel any better. He wanted to bring him back to life just to kill him with his bare hands.

Bella put her hand over his still-tight fist, gently stroking his knuckles with her thumb. "I won't make that promise, Jasper," she said softly. "I do not regret taking a chance to protect you. I'd make the same choice again if I had to."

Jasper closed his eyes and shook his head. It was just like his father told him the first time he brought Bella home to meet them: he had his hands full with this one.

"Baby," she called. "What about you? How bad was it for you?"

He sighed before he spoke. "It was pretty damn awful, to be honest. James came by about once a day to bring food." Jasper grimaced. "If you could call what he brought 'food' anyway. It was usually something more like pig slop on a farm. But when you're hungry enough, you'll eat."

Jasper paused, letting go of a heavy sigh. He knew that Bella needed to know, for her own mental well-being and he needed to be strong for her, but he wasn't sure how much longer he could hold it together. "I was bound to the wall by my ankles, but I could walk around a little bit, just not very far, and my wrists were always tied when James wasn't there. When he was arrived in the evenings, James wanted to make sure that I wouldn't be a threat to him while I was eating, so he'd..." Jasper paused again, steadying himself, determined to hide the waver in his voice. "He beat me pretty badly before he untied my hands. He always left my ankles tied though."

"And then, almost worse than the physical violence, I'd have to listen to him bitch and whine about how awful his life had been while I ate." The last word came out in a choked tone. The memory of James's "meals" passing down his throat brought up a mouthful of bile that he forced himself to swallow back.

"He saved the worst for the end, though. As he re-tied my hands, he'd tell me about you." Just as he had when he'd been in James's basement, Jasper lost it at this point. The recollections of his captor's words filled his head and it was like having headphones blasting death metal directly into his ears. Jasper allowed the tears to fall as he shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to force away James's taunting. "He'd tell me about your body and your voice and the wonderful dinner you'd made for him...whatever he could think of to hurt me worse."

Jasper stopped talking, unable to take any more of the memories, and he realized that Bella had heard more than enough anyway as she shuddered and sobbed into his bed sheets. Seeing her like this, so broken, he pushed back all the bad memories and summoned up all of his courage so that he could be strong for Bella. He reached out and began rubbing her back.
"It's okay, sugar. I'm home now. Everything is going to be okay now."

"You don't know that," she said through her tears. "I could have lost you. I still might... I can't, Jasper, I just can't..."

Jasper decided at that moment that it they had been separated long enough. "Come up here with me, Bella," he said, patting the bed.
She looked up at him for a second, wondering if it was against hospital policy and fearing that she might somehow hurt him worse, but the need showed in his eyes, and Bella knew without any question that she would give this man anything that he needed. She stood up and climbed into the bed, laying down beside him so that her head was in her favorite spot, right against the front of his shoulder, her face nestling into his neck.

Jasper sighed happily, relieved to finally have the love of his life in his arms, but his moment of peace was quickly interrupted by her giggles.

"What?" he asked.

"How long has it been since you had a shower?"

"You are so lucky I'm stuck where I am because of all these damn tubes and a nightgown that shows my ass, sugar..." Jasper said teasingly, only to be answered by more giggles.
"I love you, Jasper," she whispered. "Even if you do smell terrible."

Jasper tilted her chin up towards him, and leaned down, speaking against her lips. "I love you, Bella." Then he pressed his lips to hers and was finally home.

…..

Edward Cullen sat at his piano, absently playing Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata as he wondered whether the flowers he'd ordered had been received. He knew that his stint in the town jail so close to the beginning of their relationship was not necessarily helping his case, but Edward knew that he had put enough into his efforts with her before their separation that she'd come back. She might need a bit of persuasion, but she'd be back. After all, he was Edward Cullen.

Feeling a bit smug, Edward finished the piece and moved directly into Rachmaninoff's Prelude in C# minor.

"That's one of my favorites, you know," Esme called from the front door as she entered the house, setting her purse on the end table and carrying several containers of food back to the kitchen.

Edward furrowed his brow as he watched his mother, thinking it was a bit odd that she returned with the food that was meant for his father, but continued to play. He'd get answers when she returned to the living room, he was sure.

A few moments later, Esme sat down on the couch to the right of Edward's piano and lost herself in the music for a moment. The moment did not last long, though, as Edward stopped playing at the end of the song and turned to face her.

"Did you find out anything about the wedding, mother?" he asked.

"No, your father was...busy. I didn't get a chance to talk to him." Esme shook her head and sighed. She was still quite disturbed by the sight she had encountered at the hospital. All this time, Esme had been certain that Renee Swan had tried, and failed, to seduce Carlisle. After the scene at the hospital, however, Esme wondered if Renee had ever stopped trying. Even worse, she wondered if Renee's efforts were still failing.

Fighting tears, Esme stood up. "I'm sorry, son. I've got quite a headache, and as much as I'd like to spend your first evening home with you, I think it's better if I go lay down." She walked over to her son and kissed him gently on the forehead. "I'll see you in the morning, Edward," she said.

Edward watched as his mother walked down the hall to her room. He thought that she seemed a bit off, but hoped that it really was only the headache that she mentioned. Wanting to respect that, he decided not to play his piano anymore, and instead sat down on the couch to picked up the remote. He didn't really want to watch television, after all, he'd been in jail for weeks. There were several other...activities...that he'd much prefer to engage in.

He had barely clicked the power on when his phone began to ring. He reached for it, hoping that it might offer him a better alternative for the evening. Glancing down at the caller ID, his lips turned up into a salacious smile.

"Hello, Victoria."

A/N: I'm excited to hear what you think...

Next time, on To Have and To Hold, Jasper gets his test results, we see why Victoria is calling Edward, and there is a meeting between a Swan and a Cullen. Which ones? You'll have to wait and see.