Dragon Age belongs to BioWare. Wonder if they ever regret it?

Up On the Roof

The weakened Archdemon screamed in the background.

"Alistair, I don't want you to die."

He smiled grimly.

"You say that like I'm giving you a choice." With that, he suddenly shoved Ashe, knocking her backwards over the darkspawn corpses he had cagily maneuvered her around. As she floundered to regain her feet, swearing as only an Alienage guttersnipe could, Alistair turned, seizing his blade, and ran for the Archdemon.

He sliced its throat. He plunged the blade into its skull.

Deafening screams.

Flaring light.

Really big messy explosion.

Silence.

Shad whined dismally as Sten pulled Ashe to her feet. She stumbled toward the remains, blinking away sweat and blood, and gazed sadly at the ex-Templar's body.

"Oohh..."

"You're alive?" she whispered in disbelief, and plunged forward.

"You're alive!"

"I'm alive?"

"You're alive!"

"I'm alive!"

"You're...wait, you're alive?"

"I'm alive!"

Crack!

"Ow! What was that for?"

"You're alive!"

"Not if you hit me like that again! What's wrong with you?"

"You're alive."

"Yes, I believe we've established that! I was rather under the impression that would be a good thing!"

"And why exactly are you alive?"

"What? I...huh. That's a good question."

"Yes, isn't it?"

"Huh?"

"Don't 'Huh' me! We both know the only way we were both getting out of this alive. But oh, no. 'I wouldn't touch her with a ten-foot pole,' you said. 'The consequences would be too dire,' you said. 'I'd sooner sleep with a rabid viper,' you said."

"That's right!"

"So after all that you changed your mind and went creeping in afterwards?"

"I did not!"

"Yeah, sure."

"I didn't!"

"Well, it sure as hell wasn't me! I don't exactly have the qualifications for her little ritual."

"Maybe it was Riordan."

"I happen to know he spent the night with Zevran."

"He did?"

"Yes."

"Really?"

"Yes!"

"Ew."

"Okay, so in addition to being a sneaky cheating liar, you're adding racism, ageism or homophobia. Or all three."

"I am not!"

"And don't change the subject."

"I wasn't!"

Sten sighed and stepped aside as the two Wardens headed for the stairwell, picking their way through the carnage and squabbling as they went.

Licking his chops clean of darkspawn blood, Shad stood and shook himself thoroughly. A familiar scent drifted toward him, and he raised his head alertly. From a shadowed alleyway, a golden eyed she-wolf watched the Wardens leave and sneezed quietly, a sound that in a human might have been described as a disdainful sniff. She met the mabari's gaze, and cocked her head coyly.

Shad stayed where he was, his stubby tail wagging furiously in remembrance.

Moonlight. Heat. Coupling.

"Shad! Come on, buddy!"

Happy bark.

A/N: Um. Yes. Well, I blame Natmonkey for this particular plot worm. I'll go stand in the corner now.

But you gotta admit this God-baby's going to look awesome!