A/N: Alright. So, I admit, this is not my usual bit. Actually, so far away from my alley, I'm not really sure what to do with it. I was inspired by a song I recently discovered, and this was the result. Flames are expected. xD Or at least some skepticism. I haven't watched Firefly or Serenity in a while, so I'm not sure about Mal. The title is a reference to a popular quote on voyeurism.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything you may recognize.

Blue

He'd only meant to ask for her plans once they entered the atmosphere. Months away from any civilized planet, one she could work out of anyway, Mal assumed she'd want to disembark immediately. Past experiences predicted she'd pack up and hightail it off Serenity the moment they landed, but he approached her vessel, just to be sure.

If he was completely honest with himself, Mal just wanted to see her.

Clomping his way through Serenity, he tripped slightly on the stairs leading into her domain and he cursed silently.

"Gorramn stairs..."

Finally reaching the door, Mal paused. Knowing Inara, she'd be highly irritated at his intrusion. Blue eyes twinkled as a boyish grin slid unto his face. "Tickles me pink when she yells like that." Baiting Inara had been a favorite past time of his, until quite recently. She hadn't reacted to any of his snide comments. He hoped her temper would resurface today.

He knocked lightly on the door, before pushing it open and stepping inside. Reaching the threshold to her domain, Mal peered into the room, blood rushing from his face as his eyes fell on the bed. Whirling around, he plastered himself out of sight against the wall next to the entrance, eyes wide.

Gasps echoed throughout the vessel as soft music thrummed in the background, the steady beat of techno music accompanying the intimate sounds coming from the bed.

Mal steadied himself against the wall as his hands fisted in the decorative cloth that hung from the wall. From the brief glimpse he'd gotten from the bed, Inara and River were tangled together in a twist of sheets and skin. The captain swallowed audibly.

"I knew River was an odd one, but I...I never figured..." Mal's thoughts swam in his head, slow and sluggish, as if his head was filled with honey.

Catering to women had never been a problem for Inara, in fact he thought she sometimes preferred it, but this...this was different.

A loud moan reverberated, and Mal struggled to keep his breath steady. His legs felt as if they were made of soft putty, ready to collapse under him at any moment. This was wrong. He shouldn't be here; he ought to leave.

"River..." Inara's voice groaned lowly, the rustle of sheets snapping Mal back to reality.

The urge to turn into the entrance and watch was near overpowering and his hands clenched and fisted into the fabric, pants seemingly tighter than when he entered. Looking down, Mal groaned softly in desperation. This couldn't be happening, not here, not because of...this.

Breathing heavily, he gave into the urge and slowly poked his head around the corner. His legs shook dangerously as River slinked atop Inara, tongue dragging along sweat slick skin. Tanned hands tangled themselves in the psychic's wild locks and hips arched to meet the younger girls.

"Oh...god..Ri..River." Inara gasped, hands scrabbling to find purchase on the sheets beneath her.

River laughed softly above the older companion, and Mal stifled a moan as pink lips caressed the swell of Inara's breast, hands gliding over toned thighs. The ache between his legs was unbearable, and Mal knew that if he were to escape the voyeuristic adventure unscathed, he'd have to leave. And soon.

A delicate white hand slipped between the companion's legs and Inara threw her head back, gasping and twisting. The image of hot, slick skin pressed together was almost unbearable and Mal gripped the wall as he turned to leave.

As if on cue, River lifted her head from Inara's neck and turned to look at him, eyes boring into him curiously. A small grin alighted her face as she observed him before licking her lips. Raising her other hand, she motioned for him to come, Inara oblivious beneath her.

Mal paled, before fleeing the vessel, tripping his way down the stairs. Loud moans followed him, the soft techno music humming peacefully in the background.

The next morning, during breakfast, Mal struggled to look at Inara or River without flinching slightly, the events of the previous night fresh in his mind.

Completely unaware, Inara chalked it up to his usual paranoia at being on a larger planet. "Perhaps if you took an honest job once in a while, you wouldn't have to worry so much."

He sneered at her half-heartedly over the table and looked back down at his food, suddenly very interested in his potatoes.

A foot nudged his and Mal looked up.

River smiled at him from her seat next to Simon, before winking at him. Mal left the table soon after, feeling sick to his stomach.

In his bunk, lying innnocently on his bed, was a note written in elegant, yet spidery script:

Shall I put a welcome mat out next time?