He lets out an evil, sinister laugh
A despicable plan he is about to craft
He rubs his hands together and snickers with greed
When his work is done he'll have all that he needs

He's a man who's quite tall, and awful slender
He may be unstable but he's no pretender
Others don't take him as much of a threat
He'll make that a judgment they'll always regret

His hand reaches up and massages his moustache
Mind filled with meanness, revenge, and barrels of cash
He'll get what he wants, and also a quite a thrill
His plans haven't worked before, but he knows this one will

His partner in crime has similar taste
He eats garlic, craves money, and likes to lift weights
However they make a slightly odd pair
They're quite different in looks, but they do not care

They sometimes engage in comical squabbles
The tall one lurches when walking, the fatter one wobbles
They share immense hate for their good counterparts
Their pictures on the wall are covered in darts

They normally get along, but they do not share
And when their plans fall short, at each other they glare
It surely can't by my fault, they always insist
Agree that it's yours, or be hit by my fist!

The slender one thinks up his dastardly plan
Of lawmen and do-gooders, he is not a fan
He thinks he can get rid of the annoying heroes
And come away with a paycheck abundant in zeroes

The King also shares in their blatant disgust

Get rid of the heroes, somehow he must

It's a great opportunity, one they won't miss

The slender one's plan, it goes like this:

The King of the Land, he's also quite bad
Enough of the justice, he's just about had
To rid his Kingdom of heroes, he'll roll the dice
He'll pay these two bad men a hefty price

In return they'll have to defeat the good guys
Only then will they receive their expensive prize
Convinced he'll agree, to the King he proposes it
And to be honest, with the King his plan's quite a hit

In fact, the King is in such great agreement
He offers them more than they had foreseen it!
If they're successful, easy lives they'll lead
They'll have the power to take care of every need

If they fail, however, the evil King warns
They'll be penniless, laughed at, and looked upon with scorn
But aren't they already? What's to be lost?
They'll defeat the good guys at any cost

After they've won, the rest will all cower
For the King will give them a place in great power
So off on their way, the bad guys go
They'll get them this time, both of them know

The days go by without success
But until they find the heroes, they will not rest
One day they hear something, and the fatter one shushes.
He hears someone on the other side of the bushes

Over the shrubs, both of them peer
When they see who is there, they give a silent cheer
Two men sitting around a glowing campfire
With the element of surprise, they've never felt slyer

When the timing is right, they both jump out
The short one flexes and the tall one shouts
The two heroes appear to caught off their guard
This will be a battle fought very hard

They've confronted the good guys many times before
They put up a fight, but the good guys a bit more
In the end, they're always soundly defeated
This time their mistakes will not be repeated

The battle has started, the fists are now flying
Already one of the bad guys is pitifully crying
The tall one just got whacked in the nose
He's actually quite weak, and right now it shows

The short fat one actually knows how to fight
He's really quite tough, filled with strength and might
But the heroes can take advantage of him
He'll need to be quicker if he wants to win

He might be strong, but he's slow on his feet
It's two against one, he can smell the defeat
The tall one gets up and starts to attack
It takes little effort to push him right back

Soon the heroes gang up on the other
The tall one has darted away, in search of some cover
The clouds have let out falling sheets of rain
They're all drenched with water and stinging with pain

The fighting goes on for an hour or more
All while the rain continues to pour
Eventually the bad guys once again fall
This is their most painful loss of all

So much was to be gained, so much at stake
It's too much disappointment for them to take
How couldn't they win? They thought they could
Capture them with handcuffs, afterward they would

Then take the prisoners to face the King
To have all that money would be a wonderful thing
Who cares what would happen to the good guys?
All they would care about was their colossal prize

But they'll never see it, their handsome reward
Maybe they should have threatened with long sword
What were they thinking? Win by fist-fight?
Looking back, they must not be too bright

Maybe, they think, they just aren't good enough
Perhaps they should give up, being villains is tough
All these defeats have a common theme
But the tall one has another flawless scheme…