A/N: This idea was brought on by a prompt. It is the moment that every significant other fears the most...

Also, I don't know why I write everything from Soul's point-of-view, but to me it is more fun this way. Kid will have his chance someday, I promise.

Disclaimer: I don't own Soul Eater. T.T

Intentions

By: tsuki-san16

Soul, being the kind of person he is, is no stranger to being called to the principal's office.

If it wasn't for attempting to cheat on tests or fighting alongside Black Star without a teacher present then it was usually something as simple as skipping class. Not even the studious Maka Albarn could restrain her wayward weapon from doing whatever he wanted.

No matter how many times she threatened him with her infamous Maka Chops.

His frequent infractions on school property were well known to those in Shibusen. Someone as cool as Soul could not be held back by something so stringent as rules. Mind you, he wasn't as bad as Black Star and at least he finished his work when he attempted it, unlike Kid (who, coincidentally, would be top of the class if he could just get past writing his name). To Soul, class was irrelevant, it was what you learned out on the streets that mattered. Books were just not his thing.

In other words, you couldn't feel the rush of kicking someone's ass through reading a book. Honestly.

If there was one thing he learned in all his rule-breaking experience, it was that Shinigami-sama could be surprisingly lenient if you played your cards right. As much as the head of Shibusen seemed like a laid-back, easy-going fellow, Shinigami-sama did not look lightly on people who flouted the rules. He's the one who made them, after all. But as much as he hated rule breaking, he did love entertaining stories. The key to undemanding punishments was to give the most outlandish excuse that you could possibly think of.

Preferably with as much unlucky misfortune you could make up for yourself that fell just short of having yourself die.

And sometimes even further than that.

And so, when Shinigami-sama called Soul down to the Death Room, the scythe spent the walk down coming up with as tragic a story as he could think of (that he hadn't already used, of course). He wasn't sure what exactly it was he was being called down for (although he suspects it was his attempt to cheat by switching out the nutritional information on a bottle of Coke with notes for the test) but he would work around whatever the problem was. He was good like that.

Soul slouched calmly through the guillotine pathway, his hands in his pockets and his lazy grin firmly in place.

"Hello, hello Soul Eater!" Shinigami-sama yelled out cheerfully, beckoning the weapon closer to a blanket lying on the floor with some cushions and a tea set on it. Was this a disciplinary meeting or a picnic? "How are you today?"

"Fine." Soul grunted, flopping down onto one of the cushions and stretching out his legs.

"That's good, that's good! Would you like some tea?" The Death God smiled (Soul thinks), holding up the tea cup with steam streaming lazily out of it's spout.

"Uh...sure." Soul mumbled, a little put-off with the cozy atmosphere. Something strange was going on here and he was not going to let his guard down.

"Tea is very calming, ne, Soul-kun? I like to drink it when I'm feeling particularly...upset." Shinigami-sama said in a disturbingly cheerful sing-song voice.

Soul shrugged. "I don't drink tea often, honestly." he said, turning his red eyes onto the figure in front of him. "But I'm sure you didn't bring me here to discuss drinks."

"Of course, of course!" Shinigami-sama nodded, setting down his cup of tea. "Well I'm sure you know why you're here."

"I know this is hard to believe but I have a very good reason for the incident that occurred yesterday, I promise." Soul began, shifting his position so he was sitting cross-legged. He was back in control, he knew what to do. "You see, I had been studying so much for that test that I was having trouble sleeping. The night before the test I went out for a walk to clear my head. I was then attacked by some rabid squirrels that had obviously been grown by some mad scientist (I suspect Stein). Even though they were trying to kill me, I knew that Maka would be disappointed if I'd killed all those squirrels, rabid or not, so I ran for it. I ended up falling off the edge of a cliff where I hit my head. When I woke up a few hours had passed and I tried to get up but there was this sudden light coming down on me and I was abducted by aliens! They did these awful tests on me, I won't go into detail, but in the process I lost my memory! When I came to I was in the park, naked, some lady was screaming, and I was arrested by the police for indecent exposure. I escaped from my cell using only a toothpick, some salt and a rubber band-"

"Soul-kun as amusing as this story is, that's not why I called you here!" Shinigami-sama interrupted, holding up one of his outrageously large hands.

Soul's eye twitched, wondering why else the Shibusen leader would want to talk to him and a little disappointed that he hadn't gotten a chance to finish his story. He hadn't even gotten to the part with the penguins!

Shinigami-sama sighed before turning a disturbingly demonic look on the weapon. Gone was the cheerful, absent-minded Death God. In it's place was a very troubling and ultimately fearsome look that made Soul's instincts ring in alarm and warn him to run for the hills. Fast.

"What are your intentions with my son?"

Most people, when faced with this question, turn some shade of gray (or go in the opposite direction and flush tomato red) and stutter horribly with various stammered assurances that their partner's virtue would be untouched until marriage and that they would never do anything to hurt the parent's darling child's feelings.

Followed by pledges of white picket fences, twenty children and a cozy retirement.

Soul did none of those things. His brain just completely shut down. Overloaded. Error messages flashed briefly before exploding into a giant ball of utter failure of epic proportions.

"...eh?" Was his eloquent reply.

"It has come to my attention that you and my son are in a relationship. As his father I want to know, what are your intentions?" A deadpanned, straight-faced, no nonsense question.

Soul wanted to die.

This wasn't right, he wasn't prepared! Kid had assured him that no one knew about their little shindig. Hell, Soul was sure that even Maka didn't know about it yet! Soul was an intensely private person and Kid was not the type to yell out to the world about their relationship.

That was Black Star's job.

Soul mentally restarted his brain, waiting for it to reboot while he forestalled his reply by taking a sip of his tea. He was feeling vaguely sick.

Soul cleared his throat.

"Chichiue, I need you to-" Another voice cut in, stopping when he realized that his father was not alone. "Ah, am I interrupting anything?"

Before Shinigami-sama could shoo Kid away, Soul jumped in. "Actually this discussion involves you too." he said, walking over to his lover and giving him a look that was clearly pleading for help. "Shinigami-sama wants to know what my intentions are towards you."

"I see, and what was your reply?" Kid smirked, denying Soul the much needed help that he needed. The younger shinigami was curious to see what the weapon had to say.

Soul glared at Kid. His partner was most likely finding this whole situation highly amusing. Soul couldn't even get him back later with his own parents since he hadn't seen them in years! Well, that was fine, two could play at this game.

"I'd much rather show him." Soul replied with a feral grin before promptly grabbing Kid and yanking him forward, crushing their lips together. Kid responded in kind, forcefully pushing the scythe weapon up against one of the guillotine pillars and continuing to ravish him.

Shinigami-sama's brain just completely shut down. Overloaded. Error messages flashed briefly before exploding into a giant ball of utter failure of epic proportions. He flushed a bright, tomato red (although no one could see and, frankly, no one in his nearby vicinity cared).

"Erm...I'm still here you know." He finally stuttered, holding up his hand.

The two young men were oblivious to the Death God's presence and Shinigami-sama eventually decided to leave them alone (while his brain could still function on auto-pilot) when Kid's hand went up Soul's shirt. He glided away through the guillotine pathway, stopping when Stein nearly ran into him on his way into the Death Room.

"Ah, Shinigami-sama, did you get the answer to your question?"

The Death God paused, glancing back at the pair behind him. Soul's leg was between Kid's and the younger shinigami had Soul's hands firmly clamped above his head. Soul's headband had disappeared somehow and Kid's jacket was unbuttoned and lopsided. Through his haze (and slight horror at the sight of it all) the fact that his son allowed the weapon to mess up his carefully pressed and symmetrical clothes gave the father all the answers he could have needed.

"Not in so many words, but I can tell that assurances are not needed."

"Well who would object? They make such a cute pairing." Stein replied, his glasses glinting.

A/N: And that's that. I'm not sure how I feel about this one, it didn't end up as funny as I would have liked but I hope you enjoy it anyway. :)

If you love Kid/Soul please review! It makes my day. ;)