Sorry, sorry, sorry! I'm always so damn busy with stuff for university *sighs* I knew studying would be a lot of work, but not THAT much! *glares at professors*

Bored I sat at Elrond's once secret council. Mary pronounced that she would love to accompany the Fellowship of the Ring, but was afraid she could ruin the plot. However the Fellowship argued that she soooo had to come with them, who else could be able to make everything turn out fine?

There was a sudden flash of light. For a second I thought that it had been Gandalf, too annoyed by the rest of his companions and Mary, but no.

In the middle of the council, where up to now had been to podest with the Ring... WHERE THE HECK HAD THE RING GONE? WHERE IS THIS DAMN RING?

"I am Gary Stu."

Huh?

I guess I must have voiced my rather unintelligent confusion.

"Gary Stu! Mary Sue's brother!" I looked at the boy. Yupp, could be Mary Stupid's brother, same eye colour, but different hair colour, most likely simply, because he didn't dye it...

"What do you want, Gary Stu...?"...pid. The last part I only thought.

"Gary! They want me to go on their quest thingy! But I could break a nail!" Mary whined.

"Don't worry, dearest sister! I shall go in your place." Why the heck was he talking in that way? "I shall return peace to this world..." he paused in his speech "...uhm... that is at war!"

Elrond shot up from his seat proclaiming: "You have to be truly valiant to take such a burden on you!"

"I surely am! Though I was not raised to be. It seems to be in my bloodline." He announced and Elrond took a closer look at him.

"I cannot believe my eyes!" And hence I thought elves had very keen eyes... "Surely you can't be who I think you to be!"

"He's my brother! And nearly as perfect as I am!" Mary declared snippy.

"He might not be your brother by blood, if he is who I think it is. Gandalf could it be?" Elrond asked, turning to the Istari.

"Maybe you could be right, my friend." The wizard said thoughtfully and I wanted to strangle both elven Lord and old man.

Out of nowhere Arwen walked right into the commonly known council of Elrond. Gary's and Arwen's eyes met. Sickeningly romantic music was to be heard. Everyone stopped breathing including me, though that was because I was trying very hard not to empty my stomach. And gloriously I won the valiant battle against my dreadful foe.

The two of them clasped hands. And pledged, oh what a surprise, eternal love. Damn! Why am I surrounded by idiots?

"But my father will never allow our love!" Arwen exclaimed, disregarding the fact that her father was just a few feet away from her.

"If Gary is who I think he is, I shall allow your love, my daughter. I think he is, no he has to be the real heir of Isildur! First-born of Arathorn and Gilraen, he disappeared through Saruman's magic. But now in times of dire need, he returned to us. Gary is the rightful heir to Gondor's and Rohan's crown."

"But he," at that Gary pointed at Aragorn, "is going to be jealous of me! And surely he'll try to get rid of me, to get Arwen's love back and get to be king!"

Aragorn interjected: "I would never do such a thing! I didn't want to be a king! I wanted to be... a lumberjack! Leaping from tree to tree, the fir, the larch, the mighty Scots pine...!"

/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/

I shot up and screamed. And screamed. And screamed. And took breath. And screamed some more.

Until one of the twins burst into - I stopped screaming -... the room? I wasn't outside? This was not the not-so-secret council of Elrond?

"What is wrong?" Twin number whatever asked.

"Why would he sing the Lumberjack song?" I blurted out.

"What?" The elf's expression mirrored mine, when Gary had entered in my drea.. nightmare.

I turned bright red. "Oh, uhm... never mind! Ahm, yeah. Sorry. Just a really weird, confusing and scaring nightmare. I don't want Mary to have a brother!"

The elf gave me a wry glance. "No I did neither lose my mind nor sprout another two or three heads, so there's no need for you to look at me as if I had!"

At this the elf laughed. Damn him! I pouted. Yes, that's it! I pouted! I really had to have lost my mind! Gone straight over the edge! My former statement had been made null and void.

"You know," I told him "I think I just went insane and they stuffed me into a padded cell with a 'love-myself'-jacket. And you and Mary and that stupid Gary from my dream! You all are nothing then mere figments of my imagination! But want to know something else? I don't give a damn! I even kinda LIKE this illusion! Yes, I hate Mary and Gary, but I kinda like you and the others that are supposed to be here! I know I have to mess up everything, but it doesn't matter, right?" The Elrondion made an attempt to speak, but I continued ranting "See, it's all merely my mind conjuring images up, so it doesn't matter. Sure as hell I'll continue to clean up after Mary, but only because I want to, or rather because I don't want to have an illusion of a person I detest ruin the illusion of a world I have dreamt going to!"

"You are changing your mind swiftly! You just claimed to be not insane and the next instant you claim the exact opposite. What is it now?" He asked me with a funny mixture of amusement and confusion.

"Oh, let me put it this way: In reality I have gone utter nuts, but inside my dream, inside of this," I said and waved my arms around to emphasize my point, "I am completely sane and determined to fulfill my fuc... ahm my task." I grinned broadly at him. "So any ideas where Mary is? I really don't need a repeat of my dream inside a dream."

"Of course I know where it is. However I think you should first speak with my father." He sounded concerned, hopefully not for me! What am I? Mary-Sue 2.0? Mary-Sue: Reloaded? He's not supposed to be concerned about me, hell, he shouldn't care about me, even if this was just some odd dream I decided to treat as reality.

"Why?" I nearly whined "I just want to clean up after Mary! I even believe, no.. believe belongs inside a church... I even think I found a kind of cure against Mary's curse! I broke the spell she held over you and your brother, didn't I?"

"Yes, you did indeed, however you were asleep for the remaining day and following night. And you should consult my father about your mental state."

"Come on! I told you, inside of this dream, I'm perfectly fine! But if that's what it takes for you to let me do my job, then okay! Lead the way!"

He nodded and tried to grasp me.

"Hey! Hands off!" I shouted at him jumping backwards, forgetting to flutter my wings and dropping rather uhm... let's just say I wasn't the most graceful fairy out there at that moment. And I had once again jumped from believing all of this to be real to thinking it just HAD to be sprung from my insaneness.

The Elrondion gave me a skeptical look, which I returned by rolling my eyes. "Come on, whichever twin you are! I can get there all by my insane little own."

He, however, didn't relent and picked me up from the floor, I requited this by sulking and not uttering another word to him. In hindsight, maybe he was happy about that… So we went to Lord Elrond's study in silence.

Now that I was for once not busy annoying someone or looking after Mary I could really notice and enjoy Imladris' magnificence. Yet it somehow didn't feel completely right. Was it my insanity? Mary's presence? Something else?

By the time we reached Lord Elrond's study I was quiet sure – yeah, you may call me prejudiced – that it was due to Mary's presence. Elladan/rohir – yay me! I found a way to not need to know who's who! – knocked at the door and we were asked to enter.

"Please, take a seat." Was the first thing Lord Elrond told us. So his son found himself a chair of some sort and I simply flopped down onto the desk.

"I see you have awoken." No, duh! I'm a hologram! THE HOLOGRAPHIC UNIVERSE! I thought and fought back the urge to grin. I managed to give a polite smile instead. I wonder, is anyone able to notice the difference between the two on the scale I AM RIGHT NOW?

"Yes. Uhm thanks by the way for our hospitality."

"Mary continues to wreak havoc in this place of quiet and peace." No way! Not the Mary I know. She'd never wreak havoc! I still smiled.

"Yes, I know! But now I know how to break her curse! Isn't that great?" Now I really couldn't help but grin.

"Indeed it is. However it seems that this is the exact reason for your prolonged sleep." Ehm according to Valery, yeppers! The candidate got a hundred points!

"I guess so. But that's far better than having your sons " – at this I glared at Elladan/rohir – "fighting over her like two toddlers would over a… whatever exists in this world, don't know, let's just say… some sweet stuff!" Elladan/rohir glared right back at me, whereas Lord Elrond looked torn between amusement and worry. Amusement won over when Elladan/rohir and I engaged in a battle of glaring. After a few moments Lord Elrond broke the staring contest by saying:

"I believe you should save this ability for dire need."

I blinked and the younger elf declared himself winner of our contest. In return I stuck my tongue at him, before turning to his father.

"Uhm, with Mary every situation is dire need. You have no idea how she can get if there's something she doesn't like…" There was an awkward silence… "Oh no! Please tell me you don't have any idea! I mean come on! How much stuff could she possibly have done during one day and night?" I paused for a second. "Scratch that! It's a stupid question. What did she do and where is she?" I asked expectantly.

"Do not concern yourself with this right now. Elrohir is with her as he, as well as Elladan here, seem to have gained a resistance against her spell." The elf-lord placated me. At least it was nice to know that Elladan was at my side and Elrohir at Mary's. Not too bad for the moment. But…

"How come they are resistant? I mean she infatuated Legolas twice? Thrice? And he still can fall under her manipulative ways."

"I thought, maybe you could explain that!" Elladan sounded bewildered.

"Huh? Why ever should I be able to do exactly that? I haven't studied any kind of magic or stuff. I don't know anything about this! You know, magic isn't exactly real in my world, reality, whatever."

Awkward silence.

"Uhm… whatever did I do to get you to normal? I don't exactly remember that…" I laughed nervously and scratched my head. Elladan simply laughed.

"You yelled a lot of confusing things, then started giggling, before falling asleep on my shoulder. You seemed to have problems saying the word 'canon'. Maybe that was the cause of my brother's and my uncursing?"

"Hm. Possible, I guess. I mean, that's the word for the real storyline and real character of the, uh well, characters." Could it really be something THAT obvious? It's so obvious no one would try it…

I laughed nervously. Why hadn't I tried before?

"And seemingly the only way – no that's not right, Mary's own screech can do that, too – to break her curse of the Sue." And once again I got no special effects.

"Her own screech?" Lord Elrond asked, while Elladan choose to look at me – yet again – as if I had grown a second head. Or maybe a fourth…

"Yepp, during the journey to Imladris she had already infatuated prince Legolas and reduced him to a brain-dead idiot. However when she screeched he returned to normal. And stopped running into trees."

"He ran into a tree? LEGOLAS ran into a TREE?" Elladan nearly fell over with laughter.

"No." I told him "Not A tree." I grinned broadly. "Trees! As in several!"

"I wonder what Elrohir will have to say to that."

"Elladan, right now it really is not the time for your and your brother's mischief." Lord Elrond told him sternly, yet with humour in his eyes.

Uh-oh… poor Legolas…or rather… SERVES HIM RIGHT! But before we get too sidetracked…

"Uhm, what am I supposed to do now? I mean, I don't think I'll be able to run all around Middle-Earth and dissipate each and every of Mary's infatuations! I could try to keep all the persons I know from the story as they should be, but I don't even know whether I'll be able to do that."

It was right then, when the door burst open and a horrified Elrohir stormed in, barely managing to avoid running straight into his father.

"Ada! Help! That creature has managed to bring Legolas under her spell! And it spoke of marriage!"

I sighed. "Yeah, yeah I'll get going. Damn."

And with that I simply flew from the room, muttering to myself how unfair it all was and how the hell I was supposed to get Mary away from Legolas, or rather the other way 'round.

It was only when I crossed ways with a sulking Estel that I had an idea.

"Hey, Estel! What's wrong, kiddo?" I sat down on his little shoulder.

"No one has time to play with me, since this Mary showed up here. Everyone is busy." He pouted.

Cute.

"Well, how about I get you someone to play with, huh? Would you like that?" I am so evil, getting Estel to do my dirty work for me.

"You could do that?" The little boy's eyes lit up considerably.

"Yupp, I can. However I need you to do me a favor in order to be able to do that. What do you say?" I grinned broadly. I had – damn me! Times and times again! Damn me! – however forgotten, how smart this little boy was.

"What kind of favor?" So young and already so suspicious.

"I'm sure you know a way to part Legolas from Mary. Just tell him you need to show him something or run up to him and claim you're lost or stuff like that. I really, really need to speak to him, but I'm unable to do that while Mary is around. Legolas will surely want to play with you afterwards." Oh please, let him buy it! Please! Please!

"Alright. But if he doesn't, then you'll have to play with me." Clever!

"Yes! You've got yourself a deal! So, hmm, your room would be perfect! No one would think he'd hide there and should be easily able to get him there. Alright?"

"Fine!" Estel shouted, already running off.

/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/

You know, I didn't exactly know what Estel'd do. He told me afterwards so maybe I should tell you later – or not at all – but I think it's too funny to do that. And furthermore it fits right now in the timeline. So that's what Estel told me he'd done:

/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/

So Estel ran off away from the fairy, in search of the blond elven prince.

He had to search nearly every part of Rivendell, when he didn't find the searched for elf he even ventured out to the rim of the wood. There he found Legolas, sitting under a tree, clasping hands with Mary. The two of them exchanging vows of eternal love.

I'll let you guess, which ones are Legolas' and which ones are Mary's.

"Sun of my life! How could I have ever lived without your shining light in my life is far beyond me. Our love shall be endlessly."

"OMG! You're SO sexy!"

"Fairest of all ladies, I am still unable to believe that you chose me to spend your live with and share your love. I shall endeavor to make your choice worthwhile!"

"OMG! You're SO hot!"

Estel ducked behind a bush to set his plan in motion:

He bend down and smeared dirt across his tunic, pants and in his face. – I have to say, children are very resourceful, if they want someone to play with! – Then he spit in his hands and smeared them over his cheeks and rubbed his eyes, until he thought he had to look like he had just cried.

Then he crept a few steps backwards, got up and ran up to Legolas and Mary.

He threw himself in Legolas arms, who had to be quite baffled by the armful of sniffling child.

" 'm so glad I found you! I was playing outside alone, because no one has time for me! And I fell out of a tree! And I don't know where home is! I got lost!"

"Hey, you little brat! Get lost! This is my Legolas! Not yours!" Mary sneered at him.

"Please!" The little boy whined. "Can you please bring me home? I won't disturb you again! I just want to go home!" He sniffled again.

"My love, it shall not take long. I promise I'll return to you immediately. How could I remain in the presence of the kindest and loveliest of all ladies, if I refused to help a lost child. Surely someone of your kindness would not want to have anything to do with me, if I didn't help little Estel." The elven prince exclaimed smitten.

Mary merely giggled "Just make sure you're back soon to tell me how great I am!"

And so Legolas took Estel's hand in his and they walked together back to Rivendell.

However when Rivendell came into sight Legolas wanted to go back, because Estel would surely be able to find his way back from there on.

So Estel simply made a show of stumbling and falling and hurting his foot. And then he made Legolas carry him to his room.

A/N: That's it, once again. My, aren't children resourceful?