I'm glad you exist

Summary: It's August 1st and Vash wishes for his birthday to be kept to being a nice dinner with his sister like always. But this year someone might be joining them.

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Axis powers Hetalia. Because if I did…there would be tons of Austria x Switzerland stuff out there. There actually is a lot out there, you just have to search REALLY hard…it's there in secret places…trust me I have looked and found a ton lololololol ask me if you're interested in knowing where to look lololol

Don't own anything!

A special thanks to Fuyu-ookami for the help in editing. Love you! ^^

…

Prolouge

Another year had gone by. And once again the day that Vash dreaded most had come. He could argue that there were worse days within the year, but at the moment this one took the prize. August 1st. The day that Vash had been born or more appropriately, came into existence. It wouldn't be so bad if his fellow countries didn't send him their empty wishes of good will to him. If not for his sister Lily, this day would mean nothing to him. Lily was the only reason he bothered to celebrate this day with, otherwise he would be alone. However, unknown to Vash, this year would turn out to be one of the best days of his life.

Lily and Vash were sitting in the garden of their small estate, just enjoying each other's company. It was late afternoon when it all began.

…

"Brother….I'm so happy that you put aside your work so we could celebrate your birthday. You shouldn't have to work anyway. You've been working so hard lately," Lily said giving Vash a bright smile. Vash blushed like he normally did when Lily complemented him. "It's nothing, as long as you're happy, I'm happy." He replied. Lily giggled sweetly at her brother. "You silly. You should think of yourself today, not me."Lily commented taking a hold of Vash's hand, giving Vash a warm feeling in his heart. "Yes of course…" Vash replied. Vash always felt a special connection to Lily and it was always evident when she held his hand. Unfortunately the image of Lily disappeared and the face of the idiot aristocrat, Roderich took its place. Vash scrunched his face up at the thought of him. Why did Roderich always have to come to mind at the worst possible moment when Vash spent time with Lily? In fact, it seemed that whenever Vash and Lily were together, Roderich would always come to mind without warning, reminding Vash of the friendship they once had and very much wished to forget. Vash was brought out of his thoughts when Lily stood suddenly. "My goodness brother! It getting late, I should start dinner." Lily said as she ran into the house to get everything ready for dinner, leaving Vash to his own thoughts. Vash's mind strayed once more to the thought of his former friend. Why did the man plague his mind? Vash wished for the past to disappear. This was the main reason he didn't like celebrating his birthday. It reminded him of his past. And of all the dealing he had with his obnoxious neighbors. However, Roderich was the one who made it unbearable to remember. After what Roderich did, Vash felt it was impossible to ever forgive him.

Vash pushed his thoughts aside and went into the house. A half an hour had passed since Lily had gone to make dinner. He could tell from the smell, that dinner would be ready soon. Vash walked into the dining room and noticed there were three place settings on the table. This greatly confused Vash, considering only he and Lily ever ate together. Vash decided to get to the bottom of this. He went to the kitchen, as Lily was transferring the food to serving dishes for them. The food smelled so delicious he almost forgot the question he was about to ask. "Lily, is there a reason you put another place setting on the table?" Vash asked simply, not trying to pry the answer out of his sister. Lily turned and clapped her hands together in delight. "I forgot to tell you…." Before she could finish the doorbell rang. "Oh! I'll get that brother." Lily ran out of the kitchen to the front door leaving Vash rather puzzled. Who could of Lily invited over? She didn't know too many people except their neighbors. Vash walked back into the dining room waiting for Lily and the unknown guest. Vash hadn't taken two steps before he heard a familiar voice. 'No…' Vash panicked. 'Not him…why would she invite him.' Vash's mind started to race. Before he could react, Lily came into the room. "Brother! Look whose here. Mr. Edelstein has come to have dinner with us."

Vash felt his world came crashing down. 'God help me…!'

...

Dinner had come and gone, but Vash simply wished it had never happened. The dinner consisted of Lily and Roderich talking about the latest vacation Roderich had with his ex wife Elizabeta, who by the way are still good friends, which Vash could honestly care less about. Roderich tried many times but failed to get Vash into the conversation, which resulted going into an awkward silence before Lily would change the subject.

With dinner done and being past nine, Vash sent Lily off to bed after giving her a kiss goodnight. "Brother…please give him a chance. He wishes to talk to you." Lily pleaded with her brother as she closed her bedroom door. Vash let out a groan. 'I'm doing this for her' he kept repeating to himself as he made his way to the parlor where Roderich was waiting. When Vash entered the room he found Roderich standing by the piano. Roderich showed desire to play but held back, most likely thinking the music would wake Lily. Vash rolled his eyes. "If you want to play so bad, you may. Lily won't be able to hear it from here. But don't be surprised if it doesn't sound right. We don't use it much." Vash bluntly stated. Roderich looked to Vash and solemnly nodded. "Thank you" he replied, as he sat down on the piano bench while opening the piano cover. He tested the keys for their sound and seemed to be pleased. Roderich composed himself over the keys, as if meditating before he began playing a pleasant melody that Vash couldn't recall but fell victim to nonetheless. The music seemed to flow though his entire being, calming his soul. The room seemed to become stuffy. Vash walked over to the patio doors that lead to the small terrace outside, opening the doors, the beautiful music seemed to follow him. The music that Roderich produced seemed to bother Vash. Roderich and his music seem to stir something rather pleasant within Vash. He didn't want to think of Roderich that way. He wanted to hate him. However, whenever Roderich was with him, Vash found that very difficult. What does this mean exactly? Vash leaned against the railing of the terrace, running his hand through his hair. This was getting to be more nerve racking then Vash first thought. Why couldn't Roderich just leave and this horrid day end?

"Isn't a beautiful night out, tonight?" A voice said beside him, dragging Vash's attention back. Suddenly realizing that the music was no longer playing, Vash was shocked to find Roderich standing beside him. Vash fought to keep the surprise from his voice. "I suppose." Vash replied, feeling the tension in the air grow once more. "I'm sorry if my presence here shocks you, but Lily insisted that it be kept a secret till the last minute." Roderich explained. Vash scoffed but felt calm enough to look at Roderich in the eye. "As long as Lily is happy, I'm fine with it." Vash replied, somewhat lying to himself. Roderich knew this but merely nodded leaving it end as is.

They both remained silent for what seemed to be hours but were only minutes. The silence made Vash tenser than he wanted to be. Breaking the silence. "That song you just played…it was…. nice." Vash said, surprising Roderich. "Thank you Vash. That means a lot coming from you." Roderich responded pleasantly. Vash blushed, and felt the need to make a statement more degrading towards the other man. "But it could've been better." Vash said quickly, not sounding like he truly meant it. Roderich couldn't help but chuckle from watching Vash trying to make him look bad. "I'll try my best to meet your approval next time." Roderich stated chuckling once again.

Vash hadn't heard Roderich laugh in years. It seem that whenever he did hear Roderich laugh, it was always around him. "You haven't change at all…" Vash said, turning away from Roderich, "always laughing." At that statement Roderich froze. He realized just how wrong Vash was. The only time he remember ever truly laughing was back when he and Vash were best friends. When Vash would come to his rescue, after losing battle after battle. Vash always made him smile back then. That was until Roderich changed. Roderich was the one that caused the rift between them. Causing Vash to avoid him at all cost. Roderich felt a pool of sadness come upon him and felt he needed to do something now or this horrid feud between them would never end. Roderich gently but firmly, so as Vash would not struggle, brought the smaller man into his arms. As if commanded Vash jumped at Roderich's touch and started to struggle. "What the hell do you think you're doing you idiot!" Vash yelled. He continued to struggle until Roderich spoke with a gentle voice in his ear, halting Vash's movement.

"Please…stop…" Was all Roderich could say for Vash to cease and become somewhat limp in Roderich's arms. "I know you have every right to be angry with me and you may hate me for the rest of our existences", Roderich spoke softly into Vash's ear. " Just this once, please … can we pretend… to love each other"? Roderich breathlessly ended. Vash's eyes went wide and gathered moisture. 'Why did my heart just leap?' Vash thought. 'Why is my heart beating so fast?' Vash mentally shuck his head trying to clear his mind when Roderich began pressed his face against Vash's hair. Vash's mind ran wild with Roderich's hot breath on the back of his neck as if inhaling his scent. Vash closed his eyes tightly trying to block out what was happening.

"You idiot! Stop that!" Vash demanded yet seemed give up struggling. Roderich placed his forehead on the back of Vash's head, taking in the calming scent of pine. "I will stop…. if that is what you want," Roderich started as Vash sighed with relief, "but that's not what you really want…is it Vash." Roderich added. Vash jumped out of Roderich's hold and turned to glare at the other man face. "What are you talking about you idiot! What would you know of what I want, if anyone would ask me what I truly wanted for my birthday…it would be to never to see you again! And if I couldn't have that I would wish…" Vash paused with hesitation, "…I would wish to have never been born …so that horrible time we had together would never have happened!" Vash finished firmly, the anger in his eyes was replaced with deep sadness, shacking Roderich's core even though having known Vash for so long.

'How could he say such a thing?' Roderich thought. 'He's not thinking.' Roderich grabbed Vash's shoulders, and looking Vash straight in the eye. "Don't you ever say that again! Don't even think it!" Roderich yelled. "You don't mean that! Your existence is vital to the world! Without you, none of us would be the same! And what of Lily! If it weren't for you, she wouldn't exist anymore! She would have died from her depression after the war. She needs you! The world needs you! More than you think it does!" Roderich didn't realize that he was shaking. However, he wasn't done yet. He had one more point to make. "And…as for me…" Roderich started softy, slowly taking hold of either side of Vash's face. "I'm glad you exist…" Roderich admitted full heartedly. "I don't think I've ever been truly happy in life except when I'm with you." Roderich couldn't hold back anymore, letting the tears fall. "You were my best friend…and I admit that this rift between us is my fault…so I'll let you decide what happens next." Roderich breathed, having had held his breath this whole time, Roderich then realized that he had closed the distance between him and Vash's face to mere inches apart.

Vash's eyes had widened with Roderich words. He just stood there staring at the man who had caused him so much pain and anger only to now cause a sense of longing. The moisture in his eyes began to build as he continued to stare into those beautiful violet eyes. Any other day, Vash would have kicked Roderich out of the house. Hell! He would have shot him. However, this wasn't the case.

Vash closed his eyes as he closed the space between them. He finally let centuries of tears fall as he wrapped his arms around Roderich's neck. Their lips locking seemed to fill Vash with a need like no other. This was what his heart had been trying to tell him all these years. To love this man. Roderich's eyes went wide with shock before giving in. Closing his eyes, he wrapped his arms around Vash, returning the kiss with equal intensity. Vash moaned into the kiss, enjoying the taller man's sweet taste. It was intoxicating. Roderich could say the same about Vash. This all seemed so new to Vash however, he could tell that this was not new to Roderich. But that didn't matter to him. In fact he was rather grateful.

They stayed like that for what seemed like hours but in reality mere minutes, resulting in them needing to come up for air. Staring into each other's eyes, knowing nothing needed to be said to know how they felt about each other in that moment.

"I'm glad you exist…" Roderich repeated.

This brought Vash's mind somewhat out of his daze as his face went into an annoyed pout. Roderich would have been concerned, if it weren't for the bright red blush Vash had on his face, making him look quite adorable. "I…" Vash stammered. "I'm glad you exist too…" Vash mumbled under his breath, but Roderich heard it all the same. Roderich chuckled at the statement, making Vash's face turn a darker shade of red. "What are you laughing at?" Vash snapped. About to give Roderich a piece of his mind, Roderich silenced Vash with a gentle kiss; making Vash's anger vanished. "Happy birthday Vash…" Roderich said breaking the kiss. He smiled a sincere smile that he hadn't had since he and Vash were children. This would defiantly be a birthday to remember.