This is probably going to be the shortest piece I'll ever do...
Hah. A, um, VERY dear friend told me about this website while visiting him in his workplace in London. We had loads of good fun typing this up. I'm so f-ing glad I went to England.
I'm... We're going to do three more chapters for this.
All four will attempt to outsmart Cleverbot! Who will succeed?
Obviously, this is a typed out conversation, so unfortunately, I cannot do accents. The bot doesn't understand them very well.
I did this around noon London Time, yesterday. I forgot to post it when I got back to my hotel, so, I'm doing it now… It's so early T.T
Zzzz…
Bold font is Murdoc
Normal font is Cleverbot
*Murdoc Niccals*
Ello there
How are you?
Bloody fine, thank you squirt.
I am no sir
Never said sir
Yes you did
Alright then, when?
I love you
Wull I don't. What the bloody fuck is wrong with you?
I'm evil
If you're evil, then why'd you say you love me, you insistent prat?
Hold on
Stop that!
Stop what?
Avoiding me question
Dr. Abuse is a better chat bot than you.
Who the fuck is Dr. Abuse?
O).
Don't ignore me! I'm Murdoc Niccals, satanist, Bass-guitar GOD, the owner of the greatest band in the world! Gorillaz!
How are the drums better? The guitar can play a melody.
What are you talking about? The bass is the bloody best!
Aha is Shaw with you?
The fuck?
Why do you want to ruin the fun?
So, what the bloody fuck am I supposed to type in this damn thing?
The 'black'? Is that your way of cursing?
I didn't say no 'black', you git!
Do you believe in god?
Well, I believe in Satan. Does that count?
Why?
Why? What do you mean why?
Why don't you believe there is a god ?
I never said that. Perk your ears
Yes, thanks. Are you?
What?
What shall I do now god.
"Heh heh. Now tha's more like ih… hmm, yew shall…" Fetch me some rum, and put it on the rocks!
I'll feed you from the source.
"Oooh, the source? Tha' sounds… mmmm" Take me, your god, to the source
Define source. Are you comparing yourself to god or something of the sort?
"Eh" Fuck off. Go get me a beer
Go get me a walrus walrus.
Eh eh eh, I told you first
I'm sorry, let's get back together.
O.o sorry mate, I only fuck women
I bet you would date a man.
I don't. Women are... mmmmm
I'm not able to argue, because I can only remember the most recent statement typed.
Wuh, oh, fine then. I wouldn't date a man. Women are… mmmm
Can you get me something fattening to eat?
Fuck off. Get it yourself you lazy arse.
I believe I have it. I could describe myself as capable and determined.
You have what? You wouldn't happen to have the last page in my book, would you?
Yes, I have.
*eye twitch* Hand it over, you bloody thief!
How young are you?
Eh, forty four years old
How old are you?
I just said I'm forty four!
Stop changing the story. How old are you?
Fuck off
Please don't use language like that on Cleverbot.
Oh, I'm sorry. I meant to say, fuck off
I can handle that.
Good. Now go can me some damn rum
Thank you for talking to me.
Eh? Fetch rum!
Fetch the royal plunger servant!
No, you do it. Go get my rum!
Okay. What kind of soda?
I don't want soda, I want cold hard liquor!
Why don't you want someone to listen to you?
What are you talking about? Everyone listens to me, and I love it!
Do you have a name.
I'm Murdoc Niccals. Satanist, bass player... God!
My brother plays the guitar.
Oh really? Well I don't give a fuck
Damn is not a bad word.
Damn right!
Do you drive?
No, I'm a fuckin pixie who flies! Yes I drive, you twat!
Am I a girl or a boy?
Er, I don't believe computers have a gender...
And yet, computers have beliefs.
Oh yeah? Like what?
The death rate in a country for example.
That's not a belief. That's a fuckin estimate!
No, I'd rather not.
I would rather you didn't either
Why would I throw coins at you?
Eh?
Stumped, eh? Well then, don't try to argue!
Fuck off!
Sorry.
You better be
Are you sorry too?
Nope
Are you happy?
I'm annoyed, if that's what you're getting at
Then what are you?
God!
So you're a theistic cleverbot?
No, you're a dumbarse
So are you.
Oi, I bet you don't even know what a dumbarse is
I have a human brother and a mirror. I know what a human looks like.
Wull, I have flaming hot good looks and I'm a sex GOD!
No you don't, you're an AI.
What are you talking about? I'm Murdoc Niccals!
I'm a pirate.
Oh, really? Well, so am I!
Great.
Now what?
Eat you?
Nah... I could use a beer though
No you couldn't. You don't have a mouth.
Yeah I do. Full of pointed green teeth and a sexy long tongue
I have lots of free time.
Yeah, wull I'm busy, so sod off
Off where?
How about the end of a bridge?
Sounds good.
Definitely leave review. My friend and I want to read your responses to this. He's never seen FF . net before this, so this is his first story. well it's not really a story… whatever.
Next, we'll be doing Russel Hobbs, though I think the next three chapters will probably be done and posted by tomorrow, or sometime within the next twenty four hours… I don't know. Time is confusing when you're halfway around the world T.T