Hattori Heiji and Kuroba Kaito in Jail

"Now you boys just think about what you've done."

With that, the police officer slammed the barred door to the cell. The taller of the cell's two occupants let out an odd sort of squeak that seemed out of place coming from a strong, broad-shouldered seventeen-year-old just under two meters tall.

"My father is goin' ta kill me," this boy said hoarsely in a thick Kansai accent.

His companion, a wiry, paler teenager with a shock of unruly black hair, sat down calmly on the bench in the small grey cell, crossed his arms, and snickered mischievously. "Hattori-keiji's son in the clinker, what a scandal…" His bright blue eyes flashed as he made tsk-ing noises with his tongue.

The first boy was not listening; his normally dark skin had gone very grey and he was wistfully clutching the bars of the door with a nauseated expression on his face. "He's goin' ta kill me."

"Aren't you supposed to be upholding the law, not breaking it?" the second boy grinned.

"I can't believe I let ya talk me inta this."

"Detectives shouldn't get arrested, Heiji-kun, it's not good for their reputation."

"My father's goin' ta kill me."

"Sons of police chiefs shouldn't get arrested either. It's not proper."

"That'll be my last murder case ever. My own."

The blue-eyed boy laughed again. "I wouldn't miss that. Hattori Heiji's last performance!" he swept his arms expressively over his head—and then abruptly the grin faded from his face and he glanced appraisingly at the first boy. "You peaked early, didn't you?"

At this the first boy whipped around and lunged at the other. He seized the front of Kaito's sweater and lifting his lighter frame bodily from the bench. "You stupid Kaitou, how the HELL did you EVER talk me into giving you a ride!"

"Oi, oi!" Kaito waved his hands placatingly, a nervous grin on his face. "Don't blame me for your disregard of traffic laws—" he broke off suddenly, eyes widening as if he had just heard a brilliant joke. Slowly, a broad grin unfurled itself across his face. "Traffic laws…"

"What the hell's so funny—" Heiji growled. "What the hell is—"

Without warning, Kaito burst into peals of laughter. "We broke traffic laws!" Heiji dropped him in shock, and the smaller boy fell limply to the floor, clutching his ribs.

"Ya crazy ahou—what're you laughing about? This is serious!"

"I got arrested…" Kaito gasped, laughing madly, "for speeding…I got arrested…for speeding!"

"Ya just realized that?" Heiji growled ominously, stepping aside to keep out of the way as Kaito writhed madly with joy.

Kaito gasped something about "incompetent police" and "most wanted thief in Japan," then the rest of his words were drowned out by another loud cackle.

Slowly, the thunderclouds drew back from Heiji's face. "Oh. I guess that's kinda funny. In a really twisted, illegal way."

"Kind of!" choked Kaito, managing to right himself, an affronted look on his beaming face. "I've stolen a blue diamond from the Queen of England! And they've arrested me for speeding!"

A reluctant grin spread across Heiji's face; Kaito's laughter was infectious. Wryly, Heiji said, "Irony's a bitch, ain't it?"

Kaito's response was another howl of side-splitting laughter. "They didn't even search us! They didn't even search me! Can you…can you believe—"

"Why should they have searched you, Kuroba?" Heiji frowned suddenly down at the squirming boy before him. "Whaddya have on you?"

"N-nothing," Kaito laughed, then rolled limberly to his feet as Heiji attempted to tackle him.

"What is it?" Heiji shouted, lunging again, but Kaito was too quick; he ducked under Heiji's arm and scampered across the tiny cell.

Heiji turned around—Kaito's hand was held out, as if waiting for a 'high-five," but a dark green cut gem sat on a handkerchief in his palm instead. Heiji gaped, staring from the jewel to Kaito's face.

Kaito grinned. "It matches your eyes, Hattori-kun."

A cracked egg would have cooked on Heiji's face.

"KID!"

…

Down the hall, two on-duty guard cops exchanged glances over the rims of their coffee mugs.

"Why d'you think he's calling him 'Kid?'" the first officer said slowly.

The second officer shrugged, too occupied with his newspaper to care.

The first officer took this as a hint to shut up, and did so, staring unseeingly instead at the front page of the other's newspaper. If he head read the banner, however, the officer might have been interested to see: KAITOU KID PULLS ALL-NIGHT JEWEL HEIST. OFFICERS STILL IN PURSUIT.

…

Back in the cell, Heiji had quickly given up on chasing Kaito, having realized that even if he retook the gem, there was nothing he could do with it. So instead, the detective had been reduced to sitting cross-legged in the center of the cell, head in hand, watching as Kaito, lying flat on his back on the bench, play catch with the emerald.

"Ya know what the worst of it is?" Heiji said flatly, watching the gem sparkle in the light filtering in through the bars as it fell back into Kaito's hand.

"What's that, Heiji-kun?" Kaito asked gleefully.

"You're probably safer in jail right now than on the streets."

Kaito's face was all teeth. "Last place they'd look." He tossed the gem up again.

Heiji sighed. "Irony is a bitch."

Kaito just laughed.

…

**Don't ask me how Heiji knows his identity. It was a request for a friend :)