There are certain habits, trends- cliches, if you will- that truly irk me in the Potter fandom. Whether it be among the scribbles on my favorite pairings and characters, or not, they remain. Oh yes, they remain, lurking ever in the shadows, eyes glinting with the thought of feasting on my poor, weary brain.

And so I'll take the opportunity to explain these crimes, committed in ignorance and innocence? Of course I will!

First pairing: Teddy Lupin/Lily Luna Potter.

Not meant to offend. I have seen the pairing executed well so many times. I actually probably commit these crimes... nothing like a dash of fresh hypocrisy, eh? But it's all just something to be funny. :) Enjoy!

But then there are those little crimes...

1) Lily Potter is a Mary Sue.

Lily Luna Potter is constantly rebellious, fiery, and independent. Usually in Gryffindor (she's so brave and daring!) or Slytherin (rebellious, or else a disappointment who only Teddy understands), she's exceedingly beautiful and hot. And while she's very fashionable, she never dresses sluttily (like Victoire). Lily's smart, supposedly deep and wise, mature and intelligent, and generally a wonderful person. Her "flaw" is her Weasley temper- which the author often uses to make Lily all the more cool.
And her real flaw- the author seems unaware- is that she's just as spiteful, manipulative, jealous. Does she ever care about anything but her romantic drama? Do any of these characters? No, of course not.

2) Victoire Weasley lacks any virtue. Or development.

Ah, darling Vicky (who hates being called Vicky). It's really a miracle how the earth can stand to bear such a creature. Incredibly hot (not beautiful, but hot), scantily clad, and a clingy, possessive, jealous, manipulative, good-for-nothing, careless, unloving, selfish, superficial, popular, vain, cruel, cheating, dishonest girlfriend. She hates her family.
Despite having grown up with Teddy, she has no bond, no feelings for him. She uses him for status only. And in at least one fic, she dumped him because his position as a werewolf was bringing her popularity down. Interesting, seeing as her family would have been doing all they could after the War to increase the status of werewolves- but that's beside the point; creative license remains. She's nagging, annoying, absolutely horrid, AND a slut- but he dates her, and sometimes marries her, anyway. Why? It's never actually explained. Occasionally it's implied that he's just so seduced by her, but sometimes he's openly disgusted by her. It's only mentioned why he doesn't date Lily (age differences), but it never mentions why he doesn't just dump Victoire and take out a nicer girl. Lily and Vicky aren't his only two choices!
She hates Lily... due to jealousy.

3) Teddy Lupin is a doormat.

He's a most striking coward and absolute doormat, thinking himself in love with Lily and in lust with Victoire... and yeah, he's not gonna do anything about it but whine to himself.
What will we do with you, Teddy? If you love Lily then stop. Breaking. Her. Heart. It's getting really, really annoying. You see, Teddy, at some point in time you have to work things out and think of everyone else. Think of Victoire (no, not that idiot!) and Lily (awwww) and try to imagine how they're feeling. Lily wanting to hex you into oblivion, and Victoire (unfairly, actually) wanting to hex her into oblivion. It's a pretty little triangle, isn't it Teddy?
So how do you want to hex? At this point, Teddy prob'ly wants to hex me, but let's just skip over that.

4) What the heck is it with the Scamander twins?

Okay, okay, I get it. They're there, could be the same age, amazingly convenient- but that's just it. They're barely mentioned, and in the story they're barely developed! Only to be some sad "we-weren't-in-love-but-I-don't-wanna-develop-why" or "oh-my-god-this-guy-is-a-villain" story.
In fact, they're so superficially developed in some stories I have absolutely nothing to say! ;)

5) *Shudders* Overdone Angst? No thanks!

Yes, I understand that the pairing is quite angsty, with all that drama keeping them apart and all.
But truly? You don't have to italicize and insert 'oh's in every other sentence to get the point across. This is a lament. This is a whine. Again, I get it.
Other than that little bit, the "overdone" quality of the angst sort of comes with the whole story- or maybe it's just that I see the same story again and again? Whatever it is, it sure does drive me crazy.

My wrist is killing me, so for now that is all. I know, short and weird and whiny and annoying. I apologize- I needed to get a short rant out.

Please remember: I have read Teddy/Lily fics with a well-developed and realistic central band of characters, beautifully written, where I'm in awe. I cannot write as well as some of you Teddy/Lily writers, and if I've given you a glowing review -I'm sure I have- it means I admire your writing. Again, in all my favorite pairings (All canon pairings, Lily/Severus, Rose/Scorpius, Teddy/Lily, Teddy/Victoire...) I have little things that irk me.

Next pairing? Teddy/Vic. Oh yes, you Teddy/Lily fans may cackle with glee... :)