A/N: Uhm, yeah. As far as crack!fic goes, this is pretty darn cracky. Watch out for MATURE CONTENT. It kind of snuck up on me. Also, that punny title is all Lody's idea (who was also a big help with editing and plotting this out right). As always, this story is femslash. You've been warned.

Bonus A/N: Guys, this is my 69th story! And since we all know the type of author I am, it deserved to be something special. This story is definitely that, and then some!

Disclaimer: Not mine. Never will be. Heartbroken.

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BI(TE) CURIOUS

1987

Sixteen year old Megan Russo lightly bopped to the music, Cyndi Lauper's She-Bop, as she let her eyes wander over the crowd in this under-eighteen club. The floor was packed wall-to-wall with teenagers , each sporting wild hair and even wilder outfits, all jumping around and having a good time. It was the kind of crowd Megan liked best; one she could feel a part of without immersing herself in it, one that would take her mind off the rest of her life and let her just relax.

And relaxing was exactly what she planned on doing when she entered the club. She needed some alone time, away from her two insane brothers, their pranks, and her overbearing parents. She was tired of her brothers getting into her things, tired of her mother telling her boys would be boys, tired of her father telling her to pipe down because the game was on. She was sick of being looked down on just because she was the girl. She wasn't the girly girl her mom wanted her to be, wasn't the boy or the wizard her dad wanted her to be, wasn't the sibling her brothers wanted her to be…and she was sick and tired of all that disappointment. She just wanted to be herself, and so every so often she came out to places like this looking for a little something to take her mind off of her troubles. Getting lost in the crowd, being around people who didn't care what she was or wasn't, it was liberating.

Usually a group like this would leave no room for personal space, for being alone, but being Megan Russo had its benefits. Her reputation preceded her and most of the kids in here were giving her a generous amount of space, almost an entire foot on all sides.

In this crush of bodies it was nearly impossible to move, even with the bubble around her, and so she danced in place while looking for something interesting to keep her attention.

Just then, something interesting waltzed right into her line of sight.

The girl wore ripped teal fish-net tights under a marvelously hot pink skirt, several gold chain belts looped around her waist and dangling from her hips, a tight teal tank top covered with a loose canary yellow bomber jacket, a zebra striped scarf wrapped snugly around her neck, and bright red converse sneakers with the laces undone and tongues flopping around. Her hair was a study in careful hairspray application, it was crimped and fluffed and stood in a boxy halo around the girl's head kept barely in check by purple stretchy headband. Her face, from what Megan could tell under the shifting club lights, was painted with blush and eye shadow with her lips stained a vibrant red. Large hooped earrings swung from the girl's lobes and flashed every so often when light struck them. The girl moved with a predator's grace and people parted before her without even realizing it. That was the kind of presence Megan only wished she could command.

She watched as the girl wove in and out of the seething mass of teens, her body bending and swaying fluidly with the music and around the people as she seemed to be searching for someone.

"Hey, you!" Megan called out, managing to time her call just as the music transitioned into Duran Duran's Hungry Like the Wolf and catching the girl's attention. "Come here."

She watched the girl give her the once over but she didn't fidget, she knew she looked good. She'd chosen black as her main color tonight, as she usually did, and had solid black leggings under a black skirt and black bolero jacket. She spiced that up by wearing a neon green t-shirt and leg warmers, yellow polka-dotted cowboy boots (she'd put the polka-dots on herself and she kept her wand in them, but no one was supposed to know about that), and whole armfuls of various colored scrunchies. Her makeup complemented her outfit perfectly with bright green eye shadow, pink blush, and fire engine red lipstick. She had no earrings, but she didn't need any, they'd have distracted from her permed hair swept into a side pony tail and teased to look just the right amount of wild and defiant.

When the girl finally met her eyes Megan quirked a brow and smirked, her right hand lifting and crooking a finger to beckon the girl while she made snapping noises with the gum in her mouth.

***'***

Juliet had been enjoying dancing through the crowded club and getting lost in it. Her senses were completely overwhelmed, there was so much perfume and hair spray and spilled drinks and body odors and smoke filling the air that her heightened sense of smell was completely useless. The music so loud and pounding that she couldn't hear anything but the thumping bass beats. Her eyes still worked perfectly well though, as did her sense of touch…and she was trying very hard not to taste, she didn't want to lose control and expose herself as a vampire. Though it had been so long since she'd had blood fresh from a human she wasn't eager to explain to her parents why they'd have to move again so soon because she'd lost it and drained some poor sap so she was trying to keep her distance. But there was a certain taste in the air that she couldn't quite identify and she was trying to track down its source because it was driving her crazy and making her hungry.

Appropriate, then, that Hungry Like the Wolf started playing.

"Hey, you!" Juliet heard and looked up to see a girl staring at her. "Come here." That made Juliet curious; people didn't normally call for her, they avoided her. Her natural predatory aura drove them off. So this girl calling to her was extremely odd. She looked the other girl up and down, noting all the black and green and the insolent way she smacked her gum. Juliet liked a girl with a bit of attitude, so she made her way over, never breaking eye contact with the other girl.

When she reached the slightly taller girl she was greeted with a compliment, "Nice outfit."

"I like yours, too," Juliet replied in kind. It was true, she liked that this girl wasn't using a whole bunch of different colors to try and stand out. Juliet wore her colors to blend in, the more colorful she was the less people tended to want to look at her but she still worked to make it all look good and it was nice that was being appreciated.

"I'm Megan." The girl, Megan, stuck out her hand and Juliet grabbed it and shook it.

"Juliet."

"Nice name," Megan said, "for a vampire."

Juliet dropped Megan's hand like it was on fire and hissed, "What?"

Megan laughed, sultry and joyful, "Oh relax. I won't tell."

"How did you know?" This had never happened to Juliet before. She'd never been spotted as a vampire. If humans could now somehow detect her presence than nowhere was safe for her or her parents.

"Your hands are cold," Megan said, "You move like a hunter." She bent close to Juliet and whispered, her breath hot blowing across the shell of Juliet's ear, "And I'm a wizard."

When Megan said that, leaning so close, Juliet's hands reached out and trapped Megan flush against her while she inhaled the girl's scent. Bubblegum, sulfur and herbs, pine. She was telling the truth, she was a wizard. Juliet's mouth hovered right near Megan's neck, breathing her in, her lips lightly brushing skin. Megan had been the source of that taste in the air that Juliet hadn't been able to identify, now that she knew it was easy to recognize as wizard.

***'***

Megan's heart beat rapidly in her chest. Juliet had her trapped in the circle of her arms and was spending an awful lot of time with her face buried in Megan's neck. This could not be a good thing. Not with a vampire.

"What are you doing?" Megan asked, her voice only a little shaky. She might be trapped, but she'd be damned before she'd expose any kind of nervousness or weakness. She's Megan Russo, and she wasn't about to be intimidated by one little vampire. She could totally handle it. She had her powers, she had her wand, there was nothing to worry about. Probably. There was probably nothing to worry about. She could handle this. Totally. And if she couldn't, well, at least it would be exciting.

"Thinking about how much trouble I'd get into if I bit you right now," Juliet nearly growled as she continued, "And how much I wouldn't really care because it's been centuries since I've bitten anyone."

Megan took a deep breath, inadvertently pressing her chest harder against Juliet's own. The idea of being bitten simultaneously frightened and thrilled her, sending a bolt of fear and arousal down her spine, "So do it," she challenged.

It was risky, Megan knew, goading a vampire like this. She was taking her life into her hands and all but offering it to Juliet on a silver platter. But Megan Russo had always been a rule breaker, a risk taker, a boundary pusher, and this was no different. She got an intense thrill out of the danger. The bigger the risk the bigger the reward, and Juliet was one hell of a reward.

Juliet did growl then as she thrust Megan away, her mouth spread open to reveal the barest hint of fangs and eyes wide showing dilated pupils.

Megan noticed those fangs. They seemed smaller than her grimoire pictures suggested they should be. She grinned wickedly as she suddenly knew the reason why and she teased the vampire, "You don't have your adult fangs, yet, do you?"

If vampires could blush she's certain Juliet would be blushing now as she scuffed her feet on the floor and pouted, "No. But so what? What I've got are good enough to put some holes in you!"

Megan sidled into Juliet's personal space, overwhelming her senses again, and looped her arms over Juliet's shoulders and leaning fully into the vampire exposing her neck. She knew she was playing with fire but the game was just too good to pass up. "Why don't you then?" she asked.

***'***

Juliet watched the pulse pound in Megan's neck, making the skin covering the vein in her neck dance.

She had no idea why Megan was pushing her this way, what she planned to get out of it, but she couldn't give in. Biting Megan here meant exposing herself and she couldn't afford to bring that kind of attention to herself.

Her resolve didn't completely hold up.

As Girls Just Want To Have Fun began playing loudly over the speakers, drawing cheers and squeals from many attending young women, Juliet bent forward and attached her lips to Megan's neck. Kissing and sucking, tasting the skin and drawing a surprised gasp from Megan that made Juliet smirk smugly and put even more effort into it.

"That's not biting," Megan pointed out a little breathily while Juliet felt Megan's hand fist in her hair and hold her close.

"No," Juliet agreed, "But it's all I can do." She didn't keep her lips off that flesh for long and soon her tongue came in to play and she was painting Megan's neck with kisses and hickies but no bite marks. While her mouth was occupied she allowed her hands to wander a little and when Megan didn't stop her they wandered a lot more, touching places that made the teen gasp and squirm and press even more closely to Juliet. This close she could smell Megan's waning fear and growing arousal and she felt an answering lust rise within herself and spur her to greater efforts.

"You just said you could put holes in me, why don't you?" Megan asked, her voice deep and husky and distracted as she writhed a little, her body seeking more contact and some relief.

"I can't." Juliet murmured into heated skin, tongue flicking out and getting a taste of salt. She moved up and dragged Megan into a deep kiss, tasting the bubblegum Megan had swallowed at the first touch of Juliet's hand to her breast and something that was uniquely Megan that Juliet couldn't describe. She only pulled away when she knew Megan couldn't breathe.

***'***

"Why?" Megan didn't like that her voice was a breathless whine but she was so wound up she could do nothing to control it. Juliet's hands were pressing and rubbing in all the right places, and being out on this dance floor where no one noticed this happening was making her throb, and she just wanted Juliet to take her. She wanted Juliet to be touching her everywhere, and for her to bite. She wanted the release, the pain, the distraction, and the euphoria she knew would come if she could just get Juliet to bite her.

"I'm not supposed to bite people," Juliet groaned a little when Megan slipped a thigh between her legs, "I have a soul. I'm supposed to know better than to feed off people. Especially in public."

Megan pulled her head back to look into Juliet's eyes. She saw her own lust reflected back. She also saw the humanity her books said vampires shouldn't have, she saw Juliet's struggle with her instincts and her morals, and knew that Juliet spoke the truth. She had a soul.

"But I'm asking you to bite me," Megan pointed out, "So it's not really you losing control or anything. And if we maybe went somewhere more private…would you do it?"

Juliet held Megan's gaze for a long moment, long enough to make Megan think that she might tell Megan 'no.' But Juliet's eyes fluttered closed and she nuzzled Megan's neck, dragging the blunted edges of her fore teeth along Megan's pulse point then up until her lips were right next to Megan's ear. "Yes," she whispered.

That single word jolted through Megan's body and set all the blood in her veins on fire. She separated herself from Juliet in a rush and grabbed the vampire's hand. She said "Come on" and pulled, dragging the vampire towards the exit of the club.

"Where are we going?" Juliet asked, wanting only to get back to kissing and touching the young wizard.

"Somewhere private."

***'***

Megan led Juliet out into the street and continued to pull her along until they reached a small boutique.

"Wait here," Megan told her and ducked inside. When she emerged again she was holding a small bag and wouldn't tell Juliet what was in it, she just grabbed Juliet's hand again and led on.

They walked a few short blocks to an apartment building where Megan let herself in and tugged Juliet up four flights of stairs, through a front door, quietly past a room full of four people watching loud television, and into a room that was obviously Megan's.

She watched Megan lock her door using a spell, set whatever she'd bought on the nightstand, flip on her radio, and then turn back to Juliet with undisguised lust in her eyes. "Now, where were we?" she asked as Culture Club's Karma Chameleon began in the background.

Juliet was not one to turn down such an obvious invitation and hurriedly went back to the work she'd began in the club, taking Megan into her arms and sinking them both into a heated kiss. Her hands took up exploring again, sliding under tight clothes and becoming acquainted with burning skin and raising goose bumps. She thrilled when Megan's hands followed her example and began their own tentative but rapidly more confident exploration.

Soon they were discarding clothes and mapping newly revealed expanses of flesh with hands, eyes, and mouths and taking note of which actions brought forth which gasps, giggles, moans, and sighs muffled by pillows and hands and kisses.

When Juliet's hand slipped between their bodies and burned a path down Megan's torso to between her legs, fingers coming into contact with slick heated flesh, she moaned right along with Megan. She pressed those fingers down and Megan's head fell back against her pillows, her back arched, her hips rolled up to press her groin into firmer contact, her knee bent and pressed her thigh up between Juliet's own legs, and she panted out a "Yes." That was all the encouragement Juliet needed to slide her fingers inside and begin a driving rhythm that Megan's hips met thrust for thrust while she ground herself along Megan's firm thigh.

They moved together, pushing each other closer and closer to release, their bodies shaking and straining as they strove towards mutual pleasure.

Juliet could feel that Megan was close, and she only needed a little bit more, so she sped her pace just slightly and listened in satisfaction to Megan's surprised squeak.

"Juliet," Megan panted, her head still pressed back into the pillows, "Juilet, please."

At first Juliet wasn't sure what Megan was asking for, but then Megan turned her head the side and exposed her long graceful neck while her hand reached behind Juliet's head and tugged her down.

"Please," Megan pleaded and Juliet could not resist.

She drove her thrusts even faster, pushing both herself and Megan that much quicker towards orgasm, and when she felt Megan's muscles tense around her fingers she bit down hard and drew blood sending them both over the edge.

Juliet drank her first fresh blood in centuries as she rode out the tail end of her orgasm. She felt Megan's body relax beneath her and she pulled back and licked her lips. She looked down at Megan's flushed face and sluggishly bleeding neck and felt a deep satisfaction.

Megan opened her eyes and grinned up at Juliet, then rolled over and pushed Juliet down into the mattress and bent her head to begin mouthing her way down Juliet's body. "My turn," she said.

"What?" Juliet asked, a little alarmed.

Megan turned too innocent eyes up to Juliet, flicking her tongue around Juliet's belly button, "Well, you got to eat me" she said teasingly, then concluded, "It's only fair I get to eat you."

She then went back to her task and nestled down between Juliet's legs just as Toto Coelo's I Eat Cannibals began playing over the radio.

Juliet could only appreciate the irony for a moment before Megan's tongue did something that made coherent thought impossible.

***'***

Hours later when they lay together in Megan's tangled sheets and the house had gone quiet Juliet remembered the little stop they'd taken on the way here.

"Megan?" she whispered, knowing the girl was still awake by the feel of her heart beating against the skin of Juliet's chest.

Megan's fingers traced little patterns down Juliet's ribs, "Hm?"

"What did you buy? At that little shop?"

Megan lifted herself to look down at Juliet, her wounds sealed earlier by magic but still shiny with new scar tissue drew Juliet's momentary attention. Then Megan laughed and reached for the bag still on her night table, her body pressing down on Juliet's as she strained to reach it. She straddled Juliet so she could use both hands, one to hold the bag and the other to pull out what was inside. She flourished the small spray bottle before Juliet's eyes.

Pumpkin scented body spray.

The bottle might as well have said 'Universal Vampire Repellant,' Juliet thought wryly.

She was impressed, though, with how well read Megan must be on her vampire lore…a less informed human would have picked up some garlic.

"Just in case," Megan said with a shrug and a grin.

Juliet laughed and rolled Megan onto her back, the bottle fell to the floor. "I'd rather you just stake me with your wand. That stuff is vile!"

"I know." Megan easily looped her arms around Juliet's waist and leaned up to kiss her, "I just wanted some insurance. Girl's gotta be prepared, you know."

"Yeah, sure." Juliet smiled, then mock growled and she kissed her way down Megan's neck, "I'll show you prepared."

THE END

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A/N: I actually hadn't intended it to get all M-rated, but there you go.