Author's Notes: So, there are some pretty cool ladies that have birthdays this month. The awesome Missus_T and put together this awesome Let Them Eat Birthday Cake challenge. Since I had some spare time, okay not really just a cute little plot bunny I let escape, I scribbled up this ficlet for the birthday girls! It features the Alcide and Sookie from It's Your Song. It is completely silly and makes almost no sense, but that's why I love it. Happy birthday to all the birthday girls!
Disclaimer: I do not own SVM or the characters. I just put them in silly hats and gave them cake!
Party Hats and Serenades
APOV
I don't know why I let Sookie talk me into this. That was a lie, I know why I let myself get talked into this. All she had to do was bat those blue eyes at me and I was a willing puppy. If I wasn't so over the top, insanely happy in love with her I'd be disgusted with myself. As it stood, I'd pretty much do anything for her. Including this.
Currently I was standing in the backroom of Merlotte's, waiting for the signal to come out. I let Sookie dress me, because again, she gave me the blue puppy dog eyes. Actually, I shouldn't complain about her choice of outfit because it is something that I'd normally wear. Except for the happy birthday hat. That I protested over but lost. Not because of Sookie's puppy dog eyes, but because of Justin's. Apparently the five year old thought the hat was, in his words, adorkable. Where had he even learned a word like that?
Quinn came strolling through the door and took one look at me and doubled over in laughter. I growled at him. "Shut up, ass."
"I'm sorry, Alcide, but the hat," he gasped with breath and started laughing again, "It's precious, princess!"
Again I growled. "Knock it off, it's part of the plan."
As he continued to laugh, I seriously considered taking off the white cone shape hat that had fluffy feathers attached to it at the top and around the bottom and shoving it up his ass. See how he liked the princess then. But I didn't, because as Sookie explained, the hat had a purpose.
I was going to be the laughing stock of Merlotte's when I walked out but I kept reminding myself that the birthday girl was a friend of Sookie's and was in love with me. Not IN LOVE with me, but in love with me, as she was a huge fan. According to Sookie, her friend was responsible for starting up the fan club. Who knew that orginator of the Alcide Herveaux fan club lived in Shreveport and had gone to college with Sookie?
Sookie arranged all this, the party and the birthday surprise, for her friend because, in her words, Lindsay flipped the fuck out when she learned that Sookie and I had a past, and now a future together. Lindsay had burned up the phone when she learned that juicy tidbit because Sookie held out on her. I was witness to this particular phone call and watching Sookie cower as she was reamed over the phone was truly the most amusing thing I've seen all year.
So that is why I was currently pacing the length of the hallway, wearing the princess birthday hat, and snarling at Quinn. I didn't mind the hat so much, but did he really have to give me shit over it? Wait, this was Quinn, of course he had to give me shit.
Then, because I'm evil and fully support the friends shall suffer with you movement, I ducked into Sam's office and came out. Before Quinn had time to react, I had slapped the hat I held in my hand on his head and slid the elastic string under his chin to hold it in place. I took a step back and eyed my friend. Then laughed my ass off.
Quinn was now supporting the same style of hat as I was, except his was a soft powder pink. It was the most insulting thing I could do to him. Quinn might be gay, but he was a big manly gay. Making him wear a pretty pink princess hat was pretty fucking hilarious.
"I'm going to kill you," Quinn grumbled.
I gave him a shit eating grin. "No you aren't. You wouldn't. You will fix a smile on your face and go out there with me when the time is right."
"But Alcide," he whined, "It's PINK! I don't like pink!"
"But it makes you look so adorkable," I cooed while struggling not to laugh at the way his face screwed up, as if he was in physical pain from having to wear a pink hat.
"What the hell? Adorkable? What kind of pansy ass shit is that?" Quinn stared at me in shock.
I blinked. Had I really used adorkable? Well fuck me I had. Shit, I'll never live that down. So I did what any self respecting man would do, I pinned it on the kid. "Justin's word, not mine."
"Then it is safe to say that it is cuter and less girly when he says it," Quinn pointed out.
I nodded. "I'll keep that in mind."
Note to self, don't ever use the word adorkable outside of conversations with my son. It will never end well.
Sam stuck his head in and the grin he was sporting when he saw us was enough to have Quinn and I glaring at him. "You two ready?"
"Do I really have to go out like this?" Quinn asked in his whiny voice, "It will ruin my image."
"If I go out like this, you go out with this."
"Fuck you man, fuck you."
"No that's Sookie's job now," I shot back and he snorted.
"She must be doing something right if she got you to agree to this."
I just smiled smugly.
Then my smile faltered, just a little, when Quinn said, "You do realize that this is a bar of drunk people, who are fixing to get a free mini concert and there are going to be camera phones. You singing Happy Birthday in that silly hat will be on YouTube before the night is over."
Why did he have to remind me of that? I had to remind myself that this was a favor for Sookie, that her friend really deserved it after all the hard work she put in to starting and maintaining the fan club, and that doing this only reminds the fans that I'm as human as the rest of them. It was a mantra I've been repeating all day.
I gave Quinn a cocky grin. "So what, it's going to be fun."
"I seriously can't tell if you really mean that, or if you are just fucking with me," Quinn mumbled as we grabbed our guitars.
"I really mean it." Once I squashed down the embarrassment of wearing a princess hat, I really did mean it. I loved giving back to the fans. "Think, Quinn, when have we ever done something this silly and fun for no reason? Buck up buddy, I'm sure Lafayette won't mind the pink. He likes pink."
Just the mention of the flamboyantly gay cook had Quinn glaring at me. I thought it was hilarious the way that Lafayette was slowly growing on Quinn. They made a cute couple. They'd make an even cuter couple if Quinn ever got off his ass and asked Lafayette out.
Sam had been listening to the banter the whole time and finally laughed. "You two were made for each other."
Two glares were directed at him and he held his hands up in peace. "Come on out, boys, the ladies are waiting."
That's right, ladies. Every single person that filled up Merlotte's was a woman, with the exception of Lafayette who was also good friends with Lindsay, so he got a free "have a dick, get in free" card. Instead of strippers, and Amelia actually suggested that we strip, Sookie was giving Lindsay Quinn and myself as a birthday present. I'd feel cheap if I wasn't aware of the major brownie points this was getting me and the fuckhot sex I'd get to have with my lady later. That's right, I am ruled by my dick. Sookie could ask me to castrate a bull if she promised to sex me up that night. On second thought, maybe not castrate a bull, just the thought of that had my own balls shriveling into little marbles.
Quinn snapped his fingers in front of my eyes to get my attention. "Focus, snookums, focus."
"Bite me, princess," I snapped back.
Sam held the door open even as he laughed. We strolled through and stopped dead in our tracks. Merlotte's had been transformed from friendly neighborhood bar and grill into something with a vagina. There were at least thirty ladies gathered around the stage that stood in one corner. Streamers in a myriad of colors hung everywhere. Balloons in girly colors and sparkles bobbed from where they were tied on the back of the chairs. Every single woman wore a feather boa to match the balloon on their chair. All wore hats that matched Quinn's and mine. Except one, the birthday girl.
I had one moment to wonder if Sookie had gone back to her high school days before the women converged on us. Holy shit they were excited. And well lubed from the look of all the empty shot glasses that were cluttering the tables. Drunk women. Fantastic. I caught Sookie's eye as Quinn and I went through the motions of greeting each woman. The birthday girl hung back with Sookie and I was pretty sure there were stars in her eyes.
I winked at Sookie before turning my attention back to the other women. We chatted with them a bit before moving towards the stage. Sookie had already moved chairs away so that the women had room to stand. I followed Quinn up the stage and turned to concentrate of making sure that my guitar was ready to be played. I was starting to get into the zone I went to when I sang and wasn't paying attention until I heard a low wolf whistle.
I turned and the term eyefucking came to mind. I'd heard of it, certainly seen it before, but never like this. Everyone was staring at me with a bit of a glazed look in their eye. Sookie was bent over double from laughing, leaning on Amelia who was wearing a broad grin. I felt like I had just been visually molested.
Even Quinn was snickering until I arched a brow and looked pointedly at Lafayette, who was giving Quinn a bit of an eyefuck of his own. I had a moment to laugh to myself about the look of absolute panic that crossed his face before Sookie was jumping up on the stage next to me.
"Alright, everyone, we all know why we are here! It's Lindsay's," and she dragged out Lindsay's name, "birthday! To celebrate Alcide," and she laid a hand on my shoulder, "is going to give us a little concert."
"HELL YES!" a voice cried and laughter rang out. I searched the crowd and found the culprit standing next to Lindsay. Her dark hair was pulled back in a ponytail and her eyes raked their way down my body behind her glasses. Then she winked at me, causing Sookie to laugh and scold playfully.
"Hands off, Liz, you got your own."
"Yeah," Liz agreed with a sigh, "but I can still look."
Lindsay nudged her with an elbow. "Hush so he can sing!"
"By the way, cute hat," Liz called before falling silent.
I rolled my eyes up heavenward and prayed for the best sex of my life after this. Sookie must have known what I was thinking because she leaned close and gave me a kiss on the cheek. The kiss was chaste, but her hand sliding down my back to squeeze my ass was not. I gave her a mock glare as she jumped off the stage to stand next to Amelia, Liz, and Lindsay.
I stepped up to the mic and did my thing. "I'm told that there are several July birthday girls with us today, not just Lindsay, so happy birthday to you all. Linds, Sookie is very sorry she never told you about me and hopes that this makes up for it."
I watched Lindsay's eyes light up when I began to play the opening chords to The Dance by Garth Brooks. Sookie had filled me on some of her favorite songs so I could serenade her. Since this was supposed to be a special moment, I kept my eyes on Lindsay's. This was actually kind of fun, giving a private concert for friends, well Sookie's friends.
After that song, we performed several more, switching between slow romantic ballads to quick upbeat songs. Quinn even stepped up to the plate and delivered a outstanding rendition of To Make You Feel My Love. The final song we sang, well I, was Living with Regrets. I swear that by the time I let the last note die away, there wasn't a dry eye in the house. Maybe I shouldn't have sang that particular song. But even with the tears, there were grins and thumbs up, and, courtesy of Liz, several cat calls and "Sookie is one lucky bitch!"
After giving everyone a moment to compose themselves, Quinn leaned down and offered his hand to Lindsay and pulled her up on the stage. I dragged over the stool and motioned for her to sit. When she looked at me in confusion, I winked. "What's a birthday without cake?"
Lafayette came up on the stage with this huge cake. He had really outdid himself with this one. It was massive, probably an overkill, but it looked fucking delicious. It was in the shape of a camera, since according to Sookie, Lindsay liked to take pictures. Since women were always so secretive about their age for some reason I didn't understand, there was only one candle on the cake. The cake was placed on a small stand and the candle lit.
Before the birthday girl could blow out the candle, I held up my hand. Making a big deal out of it, I removed the girly princess hat from my head and positioned it on Lindsay's with a wink. "Happy birthday, princess."
We sang the Happy Birthday song to her and she blew out the candles. Quinn gave her a silly grin, if I didn't know any better, I'd say that he had himself a couple of shots when I wasn't looking. Or maybe he was getting in the celebratory spirit. "So what did you wish for, sweetie?"
Lindsay flushed bright red and shook her head. Which of course brought a chorus of demands for her to share. After several minutes of chanting, she finally mumbled something I couldn't really hear. Quinn, who was standing next to her, threw his head back and laughed. "Oh I think that is something we can make happen. Alcide, get your ass over here. The birthday girl wants a kiss."
I heard Sookie giggle as my eyes went wide. When she gestured for me to go on and give her a kiss, I walked over and said gallantly, "Your wish is my command."
I'm sure that Sookie just expected me to give her a quick peck on the cheek, but you only have a birthday once a year. I leaned down and dipped Lindsay back and gave her a true Hollywood movie kiss, which resulted in lots of hoots and whistles, and a completely dazed expression on Lindsay's face. I should go into acting.
When I looked at Sookie after releasing Lindsay, she was hooting with the rest of them. Not exactly how I expected her to react. I had an idea and almost hesitated, but when I saw Sookie giving Lindsay a thumbs up, I thought what the hell. I called out, "Everyone who has a birthday in July get up and get a kiss."
I caught Sookie giving me the stink eye as almost every single lady in the bar stormed the stage. I'm pretty sure that not all of them had birthdays, but I didn't say anything. I gave each one a chaste kiss on the cheek, not wanting to push Sookie too far. She was okay with the cheek kisses, but when it came to be Liz's turn, she turned her head at the last minute so my lips grazed hers. When I arched a brow at her, she just gave me an innocent 'who me?' look. I think I heard Sookie growl and Liz muttered, "You are welcome!"
That made me turn my head so Sookie wouldn't see my grin. The party dwindled down and when it was finally over, Sookie and I headed home. When we got home, instead of being upset, Sookie complained that I didn't give her a birthday kiss. I gave her a birthday kiss, and a whole lot more. By the time I was finished with her, she only had to the strength to breathe, "Best. Birthday. Ever."
Author's Notes: Ta-Da! *does a Vanna White sweep of her arm* Alcide kisses for all! Plus cake and silly party hats! You might have noticed that this o/s features a character that hasn't been introduced to IYS yet, so this is just a preview of what's to come. I hoped you enjoyed my romp into sillyness, I did! Now, for the birthday girls: LindsayK, Lubadub, ericizmine, nycsnowbird, seastarr08, Zhivago3, and Kristin Elizabeth. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!