Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto :'(

This fic is dedicated to: 3Blue3Moon3, the one who demanded to do it.

But, hey, I'm glad I did!

Check out my other fics-Sakura and Ino don't just meddle in this one!

Helping the Pervert

Sakura and Ino were currently sitting on the balcony right outside the window in Sakura's room. Ino was completely bored. Currently she was watching Sakura do some work thing or another that Tsunade assigned her.

"That woman needs a life."

"Pig! Don't be mean to my mentor."

"What?" Ino just shrugs when Sakura shoots her a glare. "You know it's true. And babe, you really need to stop hanging round that boy of yours. You're starting to get his attitude."

Sakura sighs, "It's not Sasuke that's the problem. It's all this work. There's just so much of it. Especially when Tsunade's drunk, a.k.a. most of the time."

Ino just sips on her lemonade. "And we get right back to that woman needing a life. What do you say, Forehead? I hear Jiraiya really wants her."

"Jiraiya is a pervert who would date any girl he could get his hands on. He probably only likes Tsunade cuz of her boobs."

"Hmm…maybe not."

"What are you getting at Ino?" Sakura asks, her medical book pushed off to the side, totally and completely forgotten.

"Well they have known each other for a long time and they are good friend even if they won't admit it."

"Yeah, but he probably only wants her cuz she's off limits."

"Well let's just ask Naruto then." Ino gets up and drags Sakura to the door.

"Why would Naruto know such a thing?"

"He got Jiraiya drunk a couple of times." Ino shrugs, worth a try.

And it was a good thing they tried too.

"I can't believe he said that."

"Me neither."

"Alright Ino, let's set your plan in motion." A sigh, "But only as long as it won't drive anyone insane, apparently Neji still wakes up with nightmares."

"But he's dating TenTen."

"But he's completely unstable."

"Whatever, let's just get to my plan."

"Alright what is it?"

"First, we must find out if Tsunade will admit her feelings about Jiraiya. With sake, without it, or-"

"Or we can ask Shizune."

"But that takes the fun out of things." Ino pouts all the way to the Hokage tower where they meet Shizune on her way down.

"Hello ladies." She looks at them suspiciously. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Tell us something and keep it a secret from Tsunade." Ino says, getting straight to the point.

"Umm…should I be afraid?"

"No, of course you shouldn't be. It's just a simple question with Tsunade's well being in mind." Sakura tilts her head and smiles in a way that says do as we say or else.

"Now," Ino says, picking up where Sakura left off, "tell us, does Tsunade like, and I mean like-like Jiraiya?" Both girl lean in, but Shizune grabs them and pulls them to the bottom of the stairs.

"She does, but you didn't hear this from me." The girls grin, this would be relatively easier now that that was done. "But! There is a big but!" Ino giggles.

"You said butt." Sakura sighs.

"You were sniffing my medical potions again, weren't you?"

"Maybe." Ino twirls around and giggles again.

"Shizune what's the big but?" Sakura asks, ignoring Ino's giggles.

"Tsunade doesn't date Jiraiya because she thinks he'll just date her, get in her pants, and be on his merry way again. I hear that's what he did when they were," here she lowers her voice to a whisper, "young."

"Thanks for the info Shizune." Sakura says, dragging Ino out of the tower. "Alright, we got that out, so what's the next part of your plan?"

Ino flips her hair "That's the easy part. Come on, let's get a whole bunch of sake."

An hour later both girls stood in front of the apartment they'd rented and admired their work.

"We are awesome." Sakura states, in awe of their awesomeness.

"Yup. Now let's get the two future occupants." Sakura nods and both girls head off in different directions.

"Hey, Tsunade?" Sakura asks, heading into her mentor's office.

"Yes Sakura?" Tsunade looks pissed, Sakura notes. Must be because she hadn't had any sake for the past two days, even though Sakura had had no idea they were going to do this two days ago, this just fit perfectly. Well what Sakura was going to say was gonna make her real happy.

"Well, I found out where Shizune hides your sake and I thought you might want to kno-" before Sakura can finish, though, Tsunade is shaking her.

"Take me there." And they head out.

"Hey, Perv!" Ino yells from across the street.

Jiraiya looks up, "Who's calling me?" Ino sighs, he could at least hide the fact that he knows he's a pervert.

"Come with me."

"Well why?" He looks at her suspiciously.

"I think I've found someone who will help you with your…Icha Icha series." And immediately Jiraiya's eyes widen and he follows her, no questions asked.

Sakura's waiting in front of the door when Ino and Jiraiya arrive. "Is she the one to help me?" Jiraiya asks, looking hopeful.

"Oh, hellz no. The one you want is in there." Sakura points to the door and Jiraiya immediately heads in.

The two girls immediately lock the front door and set their sealing jutsu in place. Just in time too because Tsunade and Jiraiya notice each other at that moment. Both sprint for the door only to find it sealed.

"You aren't allowed out until you play in the bed." Ino calls through the door.

"Let me out of here! I am the damned Hokage!"

"For only another month! Then Naruto takes over and he'd never do anything bad to me!" Sakura yells from the hall.

Tsunade sighs and slides against the door, defeated. "Wanna come drink sake?"

"Sure."

"What did they tell you to get you in here?"

"Heh…I'd rather not say."

"Lemme guess, new Icha Icha model?"

"Basically. They told you something with sake in the sentence?"

"After being deprived for two days, yeah." They planned it out well.

"Might as well do as they say…" Jiraiya says (after a whole three hours of drinking).

"Might as well, it's the only way we can get out of here. But there's one condition."

"What?"

"Nothing ends up in that dirty little novel of yours."

A sigh, then, "Deal." Both (miraculously) make it to the bed without falling or hurting themselves. "Let's get it on!" Jiraiya slurs.

The next morning as Tsunade is rummaging through the fridge for something that'll help her get through her hangover she notices a note stuck onto the orange juice.

'The apartment's rented out for a month. Enjoy it.

-Sakura & Ino

P.S. The barrier came down as soon as we left.'

Tsunade laughs at the note as Jiraiya enters. "What's so funny?" he asks, wrapping his arms around her. She just shows him the note. He shakes his head.

"Well we've got a whole month; wanna go hit the bed again?"

In response he picks her up bridal style and walks towards the bedroom and drops her onto the bed. Tsunade smiles as she thinks of the confessions they both made last night, but she doesn't think about that for long, soon the present occupies her mind.

"They aren't going to leave that apartment for the whole month."

"Yup."

"Let's go tell Naruto his Hokage duties are starting a month early."

Remember to review peoples!

Let me know if you want a specific pairing.

If I'm not lazy, I just may do it for you. ^.^