It was another day at Duel Academy. Except everyone was all sad and stuff because Jim, Jesse, and Axel were leaving to go back to North Academy; where they come from apparently, which makes perfect sense since two of them have southern accents. Jaden was bawling, because Jaden is a sissy who cries a lot, like when he fought the Seven Shadow Riders, the Light of Ruin, and Yubel. Chazz was all angsty and emo under a tree, because he is like a vampire and can't go into the light, and was muttering "Chazz it up!" under his breath. Syrus and Zane were on the ground, ignoring everyone else as the contemplated whether or not their Japanese names have u's in them. Hassleberry was off doing strenuous exercise to keep his huge muscles, because it's extremely difficult to draw a card without straining something. Alexis was trying to decide what kind of shoes she was wearing. "Hmm, it kinda looks like a boot in some episodes, but more like a moccasin thing in others…" No one knew where Bastion was. They lost him in Season 2.

Anyway, everyone left except Jaden and the three transfer students. They stared at each other for a while, then Shirley began chewing on Axel's leg. Axel freaked out and ran onto the ship, Jim following him. Jesse smiled. "Bye, Jay!" he said, waving, oblivious to Jaden's emotional breakdown. He jumped on the ship. It left. Jaden fell into a coma. Syrus found him the next day in the same position as he was the day before, only less talkative. Actually, Chazz had found him first, late at night, when he was out plotting vengeance against his brothers. Because in all actuality, Chazz is a complete rip-off of Sasuke. Anyway, Chazz took the opportunity to do the mature thing and drew all over Jaden's face with a permanent marker. The immature thing was to call Ms. Fontaine for help. Yeah. Screws over your logic, doesn't it? Anyway, when they got Jaden to the nurse's office, Ms. Fontaine had Chazz beat the living crap out of Jaden to make sure he was in a coma, instead of just using special equipment designed for that purpose. Maybe Ms. Fontaine is still angry that Jaden didn't save her from duel zombies in episode one twenty something.

So, once they figured that out, Sheppard decided to call Jesse to do something about it, because Jesse is cooler that Dan Green and maybe even Chuck Norris. "DJG! That joke is way overused!" "Shut up Muse. Quit quoting littlekuriboh." So, um anyway, apparently his duel spirits knew how to wake up Jaden, but to do so Jesse has to make out with his face. So, he did, because according to some people, all the characters want to make out with Jaden, like Syrus, Alexis, Jesse, Yubel, Bastion, and the creepy pirate guy who even went as far as kidnapping him. But I'm getting off topic. So Jesse used Sapphire Pegasus's special ultra mega uber-awesome secret attack of pwnage, otherwise known as…TOTAL LACK OF PRIVACY BY INVADING YOUR HEAD AND SNOOPING AROUND IN PLACES WE KNOW WE ARE DEFINITELY NOT WANTED! "But DJG, all the Crystal Beast's attacks have some kind of crystal reference in them!" "…Fine. Be that way!" So Jesse used Sapphire Pegasus's special ultra mega uber-awesome secret attack of pwnage, AGAIN, otherwise known as…CRYSTAL TOTAL LACK OF PRIVACY BY INVADING YOUR HEAD AND SNOOPING AROUND IN PLACES WE KNOW WE ARE DEFINITELY NOT WANTED ATTACK!

So Jesse, Sapphire Pegasus, and Ruby Carbuncle all went to Detroit…I mean, Jaden's head, and found him, like, right away. But Sapphire Pegasus shot him because he was mad that they had to ride on a boat to get back to the Academy. And Sapphire Pegasus gets seasick. Jaden pouted. "You could've just taken a bus!" Sapphire stared at him. "This is an island! Bus…?" Chumley popped out of nowhere. "That is my line!" Jaden fell to the ground and started dying. "Not really! You were just there when I originally said it! Quit trying to sound cool, no one likes you!" And then he went 'bleh', which is the classic way people die in amine or manga. Jesse face palmed. "You realize the whole reason we came here was to save Jaden, not shoot him." Sapphire looked at the ground. "Oh, yeah." Then Yubel came by. "Hiya, Anderson! And his stupid talking horse! By the way, that wasn't Jaden, that was some hippy voodoo crap left over from when he dueled Belowski!" Then she/he/it flew away, not even questioning why Jesse and Sapphire were there. "Stupid trassexual. I knew that already!" Sapphire said. Jesse looked at him. "You mean you knew that, so that's why you shot it, so it wouldn't hurt us?" Sapphire looked around. "Yeeeeaaah…let's go with that."

So they ran around for a while, until they found a huge lake of eeeeeeeeevvvviiilll. Sapphire Pegasus snorted. "The water is cold and stuff! And the real Jaden is under there, drowning as we speak! I say screw 'im!" Jesse growled at him. "No. I have to save him because apparently I love him and if Spiritshipping doesn't exist, half of the Yu-Gi-Oh GX fics will disappear and slowly, this category will disappear due to lack of interest. And then I'd be bored." So Jesse dove into the water, even though it should have killed anyone who touched it or whatever, but since Jesse is a mixture of Chuck Norris, Dan Green, and a Powerpuff Girl. (Come on, his duel monsters are a mix of jewels, ponies, kitties, and Arnold Schwarzenegger!) Jesse saved him. And they came back to reality and stuff. And Jaden woke up. "JadenIluvu!1eleven!" Jesse screamed into his face, using the power of text-talk. "AndInoeuluvme2,cuzuwentin2acomacuzileft!eighty-four!" Jaden snickered. "Actually-"*flashback* "Wait…what the heck is that? No! No flashbacks that take up half the episode, I'll just tell him-*flashback* "Dang nammit!"

*Flashback*

Jaden was all sad because Jesse left. So he decided to have Chazz teach him how to be depressed and emo. So they sat down and angsted for a few hours, then a random piece of paper flew into Jaden's face. Jaden read it and fell into a coma. It said: Attention Duelists! Dorothy has regretted to inform me that Pharaoh ate all the fried shrimp in the school, and we won't be getting more until you all graduate. Sux 2 B U. Then Chumley walked by and read it, only since Chumley is high on grilled cheese, to him it read something like this: Attention grilled cheese! Dorothy has grilled cheese to inform grilled cheese that Banner's stupid cat ate all the grilled cheese on planet Earth and grilled cheese is extinct. And by the way Chumley, NO GRILLED CHEESE! So Chumley also fell into a coma, only Chazz pushed him into the ocean. 'Cuz that is the mature thing to do. So Jesse and Jaden got together, and they all lived happily ever after. Now review fast or die slow.

DJG: "That may be the most depressing thing I have ever written."

Muse: "It's called crack for a reason."

DJG: "Good point."

Muse: "I hope someone flames us, I really do."

DJG: "Why?"

Muse: "So in the next chapter we can humiliate the living daylights out of them by giving them their own OC and having horrible things happen to them."

DJG: "Oooh, good idea!"