Somewhere In-between

Chapter Four

Each day ebbed into the next, each week passing by as if on replay, though neither the sun nor the moon provided any sense of solace. A new torment flickered within her soul that contradicted who she had always believed herself to be. For days she had been attempting to rationalise her change in feelings that were the polar opposite to what she had always known and had developed to find some sort of weak comfort in. But could it in fact be true that we all have a demon inside of us? A monster that is always leering just beneath the surface, waiting patiently for the chance to rear its ugly head and send everything else into chaos. One thing out of all her thoughts and conclusions remained the same no matter how many times she came back to it; Laura was not prepared to be weak any more. Back on the day at the school, something inside of her had snapped; like a twig that appeared to be strong, yet had snapped effortlessly underfoot; except there had been no tell-tale signs that a change was imminent. No snaps had been heard, she had not become broken. Never would she become broken.

The summer holidays bore challenges of its own. As the final bell rang to signal the end of the school day, the end of the academic year, a joyous contagious mist seemed to weave throughout the children, illuminating their eyes, faces creased with laughter. It was a season that most looked forward to. The mist came to a halt when it reached Laura, though she was largely ignored anyhow. Avoided. Girls and boys alike all paved a way for her when they saw her coming, her presence always starting off a hum of whispers, dipped heads. Today was no different, despite the air of excitement. She walked with an almost arrogant stride, shoulders pulled back, head held high, eyes dead ahead showing no flicker of emotion. This wall was only brought down for her siblings, who both awaited her at their usual meeting spot by the gates. A genuine smile creased her lips in greeting as warmth slipped over her gaze. They exchanged the usual banter on the short walk home; how their days had been, what teachers were frustrating, what homework they had. For almost three months now, Jennifer had not laid a finger on her children; not since the day everything had changed for Laura and the fire that continued to rage within her had reached the surface on reaching 'home'.

Once again, Jennifer had been waiting; the tips of her fingers drumming dully on the kitchen table while her other hand was occupied by a stained glass filled with the poisonous liquid she chose to fuel herself with. Giving Paige and Lucas the usual nod, Laura remained in the hallway, though for the first time in her life she was not bracing herself for what was to come. She could barely describe the new feelings that had seemed to come alive, as if striking a match time and time again, but this time it had lit and the disappointment had ceased. Confusion and determination had taken its place, to the point that when her mother had called for her to come through to the kitchen, she hadn't heard her. Shaking her head to clear the unseen fog, Laura put to bed the little frail and frightened girl and awoke the bitter teenager before walking to stand in the doorway. A sickly sweet smile pulled at her lips, blankly glaring at the woman that had borne her as she cockily tossed her scatty school bag onto the table. The strap chinked against the glass, making the liquid waver within its glass prison. The look on Jennifer's face and the gasp that accompanied the shocked, disgusted expression drew a foreign smirk to fall past Laura's lips. She stood tall as her mother swiped the bag from off of the table whilst stumbling to her feet, not noticing before now how vulnerable this woman was in such a state.

"You idiotic mare! Who in God's name do you think you are!" Spit trailed down Jennifer's chin as she choked out her venom, wiping it away messily with the back of her sleeve before glancing back down to check that her beloved drink had not been wasted.

Laughter filled the room, and it took Laura a few moments to realise that it was encircling from her own throat. The metaphorical tables were beginning to turn and she quite liked the new side that was presenting itself more and more with each passing minute. Walking with new confidence, Laura came to stand in front of her mother, after taking slow deliberate steps, ensuring that her sinister glare never left the face of the one that had, until now, held the reigns of her life. Her heart was pounding erratically in her chest, but she barely noticed it; adrenaline forcing her every effortless move. Laura grabbed the collar of her mother's aging cardigan and pushed her back down into her seat at the same time as she reached for the glass, hurling its contents into Jennifer's face. The woman spluttered in her drunken state, the shock apparently absorbing all of her protests while the first trails of liquid her face had seen in a while trickled down her abandoned skin. Her mouth hung open revealing the decaying infestation that's stench mixed with the sweet aroma of gin, the jump evident under Laura's grasp as she slammed the empty glass back onto the table with such a force that cracks instantly meandered through the beaker that wasn't strong enough to withhold such pressure. The laughter had subsided and in its place came slow and steady breaths. Silence hung heavily between them, but she was far from uncomfortable. Laura took her time to survey her mother, who far from deserved such a title. The woman looked far beyond her years, quivering and frail.

"Pathetic." Laura thought out loud, the one word that seemed to sum up the woman perfectly, holding no hint of emotion in her tone. A catalogue of memories filtered through her mind that only infuriated her more, retching a blood curdling scream from the pits of her stomach.

Breathless.

Shaking.

Laura made an effort to regulate her breaths. In through the nose; out through the mouth; but the tremors in her hands did not cease. Slowly she opened her eyes. Her breath caught in the back of her throat as she found herself to be stood in the middle of chaos. Her eyes darted around the kitchen at the splintered wood, broken glass and pieces of chinaware, crumbs and debris. Laura almost believed that there had been a bombing or an earthquake, until the logical part of her brain clicked into gear and made her realise that she wouldn't still be standing if that were the case. Her eyes finally settled upon a body that heaved gently with sobs that were out of sync with the movements.

She blinked, taking her time to re-examine the scene that she had only ever witnessed from the other view point before now, but never to the extremities that surrounded her now. After mentally checking herself over and concluding that the only injury to herself was a small cut to her hand (from where she had cracked the glass) and a sore knee, a satisfied childlike giggle danced past her lips. Biting at her lower lip could not spare the grin that grew.

Swiping up her bag on the way, Laura went into the pantry and glanced over the sparse shelves before deciding on some ham, cheese, bread and milk, all making their way into her satchel which she then slung casually over her shoulder. As she re-entered the kitchen, she took hold of the broom handle and dragged it over the mess that clattered lifelessly together until it reached Jennifer. Laura let go of the broom and crouched down as it fell to the floor.

"It's filthy in here, Mother. You should start cleaning before you attract vermin." Laura tutted before getting to her feet; turning her back on Jennifer, she left her in a broken heap on the floor; like she had been on countless occasions.

She took the stairs two at a time, avoiding the pile of unlaundered clothes that were strewn across the landing. Closing the bedroom door, she reached for their wooden chair that she propped and wedged under the handle as it occurred to her that the potential repercussions would most likely occur when they were asleep, at their most vulnerable. That night, the siblings enjoyed their feast and for once drifted off to sleep with full tummies.

Ever since that night, Laura had subconsciously been waiting for her mother's reaction to her blacked out rage. Every day when they returned home from school, Jennifer had either scuttled off into the lounge room or had already retired to her bedroom. It was like she wasn't even there at times and so Laura took control of the household; ensuring that her brother and sister received a decent meal from whatever scraps, odds and ends that she could throw together, and they were all clean, tidy and presentable. They laughed together, studied hard with their homework and played games, though the tense undercurrent remained, ensuring that Laura kept on her guard. She doubted that she could live any other way.

On returning back to the house, the three siblings entered the kitchen, abandoning their bags for the time being by the door. Paige and Lucas sat at the kitchen table awaiting their drinks, their squabbles amusing to any that could've seen them. Paige tinkering away about how she was right about something or another; and Lucas responding with raised then furrowed brows before rolling his eyes, still refusing to utter a word. A soft smile graced her lips as she began to pour water into three tall glasses that she had placed in a row on the counter top. It was a few seconds before she realised that Paige's banter had subsided. Laura turned around, looking between the two of them quizzically, who seemed to have noticed something on the table and were now in a silent debate between themselves. Paige reached out, but not in time as Lucas snatched what looked like a piece of note paper and shoved it into his pocket.

Laura carried the glasses of water over to the table and set one in front of each of her siblings before taking a seat herself as she sipped at her water. They didn't move. Breaking the annoying silence, Laura clicked her fingers a couple of times as if she were waking them from a trance.

"Wakey wakey you pair! What was that you were looking at hm?" She tried to hide the amused grin as her teasing gaze flickered between them, but they weren't biting.

"Lukey, gimme the paper?" She asked in a softly spoken tone, though his reply was a firm shake of the head.

Laura sighed as she placed her glass onto the table in front of her and twisted around in her chair so that she could look directly at her brother, her gaze shifting into a demanding stare that mirrored her tone. "Lucas. Now."

Lucas huffed dramatically, a way of him expressing his upmost contempt at being made to comply. He reached into his pocket and gave his eldest sister a look that she couldn't quite place. Was it pleading? Concerned? Angry? Laura didn't have the chance to determine the answer as he threw the paper ball in her direction and fled up to the sanctuary of their shared room.

"Weird.." She muttered, before turning her attention to the paper; her palms smoothed out the creases that revealed a text that instantly tied her stomach in knots, though she was careful to uphold the bravado of assurity in front of her sister, who had remained quiet, hands twisting together on her lap.

'Laura, darling~

Meet me at the lot behind the square, 4pm.

Do try not to be late.

Mom~'

The 'Square' was twenty minutes away.

She glanced at the clock.

It was 3:47pm.