Dearest Darlingest Bang You're Dead,

If you hadn't guessed this story is for you. Yes I am perfectly aware that it's past 2am in our morning and fanfic will show the wrong date for this because of time zones. But I have literally stayed up all night on this and I wanted to get this up for when you woke up. Anyway HAPPY BIRTHDAY! And I hope you like this because I spent ages on it and I even sacrificed my love of reviews by uploading all the chapters of a multichap fic at the same time (but I'm sure anyone who loves me will review all my chapters anyway (HINT HINT READERS)) and I hope you have a great day

Lots of love Dee

PS: Fiyero gives you a birthday kiss (which is the best present in the world)

Dearest Darlingest Auntie Ozma,

I do not believe that there has been anything more horrific in the history of Oz! I have been subjected to cruel torture at my new University! I believe that my headmistress (who is an ugly old hag who looks like a fish) is jealous of my good looks and popularity and has therefore decided to punish me despite my goodness. I am completely outragisifyed!

Firstificaltionally, she refuses to tutor me in her sorcery seminar which had been my soul reason for attending Shiz anyway. I don't think she even read my essay which would have shown her that I was that 'someone special' she was looking for and she wouldn't have given away my place in the seminar to…

Well actually that brings me to my second point which is even worse, oh auntie it's most terrible, it's my roommate. Now firstly I wasn't even supposed to have a roommate, my family are quite rich enough to pay for my own private room but the headmistress decided to pick on me again and now I have a roommate who is not only the most antisocial unpopular hermit I have ever met, she's GREEN! No really green, how am I expected to live with this abomination? I don't think it's physically possible! And as if anything could even possibly get any worse this green freak has taken my sorcery lessons, and she hadn't even thought about a career in sorcery beforehand and now she's all suckyupy to the headmistress and wants to help the Wizard! I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate HATE her!

Oh Auntie Ozma, I want to be good, but how can a possibly be under such horrible and torturifyed situations?

Please help me,

Popular But Annoyed

xxxoxxx

Oh deary me, what a terrible situation! At times like this I find the most preferable tactics are to try and make the best out of a bad situation. Perhaps you could try some of the yoga poses recommended by our peace and relaxation expert on page 32. Alternately you could try and discuss some of your problems with a trusted teacher and see if she could get the message onto your head teacher in a more subtle fashion. And a third and rather controversial strategy may be to talk to your roommate herself, despite all the traits you dislike maybe there is a friend hiding behind the rather unlikable exterior or at least if she dislikes the situation as much as you do you could agree to work together to get out of it.

I wish you the best of luck darling, I'm sure an intelligent girl like you will get on fine.

Lots of Love Auntie Ozma

xxx