Title: Fortune cookie madness.
Author: Kidishcaresh
Pairing(s): 3x4
Word count: 1862
Author notes: This is dedicated to StandingOnTheRoofTops for being an awesome person in general and helping me come up with the idea. The fortune cookies can be found on a site called rinkworks dot com / said. It has all kinds of funny things there that people did or said. RoofTops is making the second vid in this series of funny one shots and perhaps the fourth if I don't beat her with my funny label fic that I'm planning! ^^ Be sure to read hers as well!
Summary: Five boys, one free bag of fortune cookies and some really wrong fortunes.
Disclaimer: I own nothing except my OC's.
Chapter 1,
"You will find a bushel of money. Okay…well that's a welcome fortune…not bloody likely, but hey." Duo murmured munching on the remains of a fortune cookie while opening the next one.
He'd gone out in the middle of the night to the 24/7 store across the road from Quatre's spacious house to fetch himself some snacks to tide him over till morning and the store clerk had given him a free bag of fortune cookies. Upon his confused look the clerk had mumbled something about a mix-up in shipping and now being stuck with 200 000 fortune cookies they'd never use and couldn't return. Duo had shrugged and gone home.
Quatre blinked hearing soft snickering from the TV room. He knew Duo was up watching movies and ignored it in favor of using the restroom. He was about to head back upstairs when he heard a plastic wrapper being opened followed by a snap, crackle and more snickering.
'Humorous snacks?' Quatre thought blinking. He shrugged and once more turned to head up the stairs.
"Your family is young, gifted and attractive. Hm smart cookie, all though does it count if you're not blood related?" Duo's voice was heard from the TV room. This drew Quatre's attention and the blond quickly snuck over to the room. He glanced through the half opened door and smiled.
Duo was laying on his belly, his braid draped over his shoulder and down his arm to the side, a mountain of fortune cookies lay before him and 2 discarded wrappers laid to his left. He was opening a third wrapper and placing it with the other two. Another snap and crackle resounded as Duo broke the cookie and stuffed it in his mouth before unwrapping the fortune paper.
"Maybe someday we will live on the moon! Uhm…hate to break it to you buddy, but we already do." Duo mumbled. He heard a soft snicker and grinned.
"You know, it defeats the point of spying if you make noise Quatre." he said happily. Quatre chuckled and joined Duo on the floor by the cookies.
"I wasn't spying, I was merely coming to see what you were laughing about." he said in his own defense.
"Hmm, well now you know. Wanna join? I got a free bag of fortune cookies from the 24/7 across the street. Apparently there was a little mix-up with the shipments n now the poor guy is stuck with over 200 000 fortune cookies and handing em away for free." Duo said gesturing to his mountain. Quatre grinned and grabbed one. He opened the wrapper and snapped the cookie in two stuffing both halves in his mouth before opening his fortune.
"Your smile will tell you what makes you feel good. Smiles can talk? These fortunes are pretty lame…" the blond mumbled eyeing the piece of paper.
"Yeah, but kinda funny too, maybe that's why the fortune-cookie factory messed up the shipment hehe. Don't panic. I'm reading lame fortunes from a cookie…what is there to panic over? They're not gonna eat me right?" Duo said looking around suspiciously. Quatre couldn't help himself and forgot to be quiet about laughing. He finally got a hold of himself and grabbed his own.
Down the hall Wufei had just emerged from the kitchen with a bowl of ice cream. The bowl was already half empty by the time he left the kitchen. He heard Quatre's laughter and the rustling of food being unpacked and frowned. He wondered what was so funny about the blonde's snack that he laughed like that. He then heard Duo's voice speaking clearly and gravely.
"Avert misunderstanding by calm, poise, and balance. Hm, yup nothing like balancing an unbalanced misunderstanding…but what's poise have to do with it?" the braided boy's voice was heard saying. It was followed by Quatre's and his rich laughter.
'What are they doing?' Wufei thought setting his now empty bowl down on the kitchen table a moment before chasing down the tow laughing boys.
"Simplicity and clarity should be your theme in dress. Does that mean I should go Au natural from now on?" Quatre said reading his latest fortune. Wufei frowned at this as Duo laughed.
"I'm not sure Trowa would like that too much." Duo commented.
"Hm, I guess you're right…not outside anyway. In the house is a different story though." Quatre murmured. Wufei shook his head and pushed the door open.
"What are you two doing here?" he asked looking down at them. He had little choice; they were on the ground after all. Quickly he sat down with them.
"Fortune cookies, I got a whole bag for free. They're pretty lame; it's amusing to think of a retort to them. Here try one." Duo said grinning and holding one out to Wufei. The Chinese youth took it and once he'd unwrapped it and popped the cookie in his mouth he opened the paper. His eyes barely read the text before he found himself choking on his cookie and Duo and Quatre helpfully patted him on the back.
"What's it say?" Quatre asked confusedly.
"Ssoorrrryy,, dduupplleexx sswwiittcchh oonn. Whoa, TOO MUCH INFO!" Duo yelped after he read from the paper Wufei had dropped as he choked on his cookie.
"Ack. Eww!" both Wufei and Quatre said at the same time.
"NEXT!" Duo said loudly.
None of them noticed when Trowa walked in and sat down with them until the boy picked up a cookie and calmly opened it.
"You are magnetic in your bearing. Oh Ouch, better get myself some protective wear then." the quiet boy murmured. The other three burst out in laughter and Quatre grabbed the next cookie.
"Face facts with dignity. Uhm, sure as opposed to facing it with what else?" the blonde said tossing the read paper on the heap of wrappings and fortunes.
"Strike iron while hot. Err NO! Seriously that's just stupid. Who in their right mind would even strike an iron; hot or cold?" Duo said shaking his head. They all laughed as Trowa grabbed the next one.
"Never kiss an elephant on the lips...okay, eww…" Trowa said shuddering. The other three just snickered.
"Ignorance never settles a question. True, but it does answer so very many…" Wufei said having taken another try.
"You are going to have some new clothes. Great now fortune cookies are stalking me…" Quatre sighed shaking his head and grinning as the other three doubled over laughing.
Heero frowned as he heard more laughter from somewhere in the house. The other four boys had moved to Quatre's master bedroom. It wasn't ever used because the bed was so big Quatre felt like he'd drown in it, but now he'd found the perfect use for that bed. The heap of cookies lay in the center of the bed and each of the boys had taken up a place around the pile. They were happily enjoying their fun game; unaware of Heero's early return from his mission. Heero shook his head and made his way upstairs. He had to write a mission report for J, but the laughter drew him to the master bedroom. He had to know what they were doing in there. Just a quick peak he promised himself. Just a quick check and then leave before they knew he was back so he could get to his report.
Sadly Heero never got his quick peek. No sooner had he snuck over to the door or the laughter had drawn him into the room and onto the bed. Within a matter of seconds the messy haired teen was sitting on the huge fluffy bed munching on fortune cookie and reading out loud the fortune it had yielded.
"There is a true and sincere friendship between you both." Heero read. Quatre snickered and even Wufei tried to hide his amusement.
"It's true you know? He does have a sincere friendship with his laptop." Duo giggled. Heero shoved Duo off the bed and grabbed another.
"Hey! No fa-hmrf!" Duo began to protest only to have an empty fortune cookie shoved into his mouth curticy of Heero.
"You have an unusual equipment for success, use it properly. Okay…sure…" Heero mumbled tossing the fortune on the heap. Duo just snickered at the innuendo.
"You have a potential urge and the ability for accomplishment. Wow…perverted fortune cookies…" Trowa said grinning. The other four laughed at this.
"My turn, in youth and beauty, wisdom is rare. HEY! Now that's just plain rude!" Quatre said reading his fortune and tossing it aside instantly with a huff. Heero laughed at this and picked another cookie for himself.
"I cannot talk right now. Even fortune cookies need to sleep sometime! Hn, lazy bastard…" he muttered glaring at the fortune before tossing it on the heap and watching as Wufei picked one next.
"You will find a thing. It may be important. I found this fortune cookie and sadly it's not important." Wufei said sighing for dramatic effect like Duo had earlier. The other four laughed and Heero snatched up the second last cookie from the bed.
"Hey it's got text on both sides, let's see. You have an important new business development shaping up. Give me a break I just got back…and the other side reads…Learn Chinese: I need money - wo xuyao chyan. Okay…and that will be helpful when exactly?" Heero shook his head and yawned some. The two week mission without sleep followed by these fun fortunes had left him worn out.
Trowa snatched up the next cookie and stared at his fortune blankly.
"You and your wife will be very happy…but…I'm gay." he muttered shaking his head. The others laughed at this.
"Yes and I take offense to being called a wife." Quatre said picking up the final cookie.
"Food is sex. Uhm…." he said turning red now.
"I'm telling you these cookies are damn perverted. Well I guess I better drag Heero to his bed now." Duo said shaking his head as he got up and gestured to the now sleeping messy haired boy who grinned in his sleep.
"You'd best. Maybe I should go buy some snacks and see if I can't get us some more of these. They're pretty funny in a wrong sort of way."Quatre said as he tossed the fortunes and the cookies in a nearby trashbin.
Okay that's all R&R please? Also check StandingOnTheRoofTops for the next part of this set of stories!