i love this anime. no, really.

Noise.

A style of musical expression.

A genre of stereophonic insanity.

Though one could hardly call it music.

But noise was exactly what Kanata and Kureha found one day, as they dug through an old satchel buried under a pile of jumbled, decaying schooldesks while traipsing about on another "assignment". Miraculously, the old, old vinyl disc was unbroken. Also miraculously, Kanata was un-stupid enough to remember that they had an old machine from the previous age that could make music from this disc.

On second thought, it was Kureha who recalled such a device. And she thumped Kanata on the cranial plates when Kanata looked at her stupidly and said, "Eh?"

That aside, Kanata eagerly returned to their home base with their treasure, Kureha all the way griping that this was stupid and pointless yet running just as fast and just as energetically as Kanata was. Finding Noël standing around half-asleep and staring blankly into space, they dragged her along, found the machine, plopped the disc onto it, then cranked it up. Two seconds later, their ears melted.

But then, Kanata was inspired.

~ . ~ . ~

The next morning, as the warm sun rose over the land, and the crisp, clean morning air blew through the town, Kanata stood upon the parapet of the old clock tower. Bugle in hand, her face looked determined as she prepared to send the day's welcoming sound into the skies over Seize.

Only today, Kureha and Noël stood with her - Kureha armed to the teeth with pots, pans, sheet metal, scrap metal, and any other kinds of metal junk she could think of, plus one very large, 55-gallon steel drum without the lid, and Noël carrying a large sack of assorted noise-making doodads.

Thus began the debut of the first-ever all-girl noise band of the Helvetia Army:

1121-3.

It was Noël's idea to actually give themselves a name...and also to make it look like a part number.

Readying herself, Kanata drew in a huge breath. Then she let her voice rip across the sky.

"I Love Dolphins! 1234!"

Instantly Kanata blew a barrage of fierce, random notes from her bugle, Kureha slammed the metal drum against the tower, against the floor, and bashed it repeatedly with an iron skillet, and Noël stood calmly in place while blasting a long, loud shriek from a whistle.

Five seconds later, they all stopped at once.

But the show was just gettin' started.

Kanata filled her lungs, then yelled out the name of their next song.

"I Love You! 1234!"

Kanata's notes were louder, fiercer - determined as she was to express the depths of her love through sheer vocal pressure. Kureha began yelling as she bashed things around.

"RRRAAAAAGGGH! HNGHHHRRH! HRRRRGGH!"

Noël stood calmly in place while making a stick of chalk squeal horribly across an old slate.

Six seconds later, they all stopped at once.

Folks in the town down below began to notice that something was very wrong here.

"I Love Candy! 1234!"

Kanata blared random high notes this time. Kureha screamed and crashed around more stuff. Noël stood calmly in place while blowing irritating screeches from a soprano recorder.

Four seconds later, they all stopped at once.

There were an awful lot of blank, mystified looks directed at the girls' old schoolhouse-turned-fort from the town by now.

"Who Wants Some Of My Candy? 1234!"

Kanata blew a fast salvo of low, sexy random notes. Kureha grunted and hammered her drum with metal pipes as fast as she could, twintails flapping about. Noël stood calmly in place, waiting. When the others stopped, she gave a lone toot on a duck call.

One old townswoman drearily covered her face with her hands and decided she was going back to bed.

Feeling a bit embarrassed at the double entendre in their last song's title, Kanata returned to her 'I Love-' theme.

"I Love Music! 1234!"

Kanata blared. Kureha bashed and yelled. Noël stood calmly in place and lit a string of firecrackers. The last one popped just as the others finished, bringing the song to an end.

Filicia sat at her desk, relaxed and having a cup of morning tea. "My, my...they're so energetic," she chuckled pleasantly to herself, hearing the noise coming from above.

"I Love My Bugle! 1234!"

Kanata bleeped and blorted many bleeps and blorts. Kureha made horrid vomiting noises into the drum, amplifying them for everyone to hear. Noël stood calmly in place and beat on a silver triangle, ending their song with a final ting.

Rio, however, was beyond irritated. But being rather undressed and on the toilet, there was little she could do at the moment.

"I Wish I Could Play My Bugle Better! 1234!"

And she played it very badly indeed as Kureha snarled wildly with her head in her drum, banging it from outside with a pipe wrench and half-deafening herself. Noël stood calmly in place and blew a party horn. Over and over again. Until they all stopped.

One cranky old guy riding a bicycle was furious at this desecration of the morning ceremony, getting so worked up that he forgot to look where he was going. "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFU-!" he said, right before bashing into a cluster of trash cans.

"I Love Everybody Of The 1121st! 1234!"

Kureha held her drum over Kanata as she blew a fast spray of random bleats, while Kureha herself howled like a crazed coyote into it. Noël stood calmly in place and pulled and squeezed on a crusty old accordion that was badly out of tune, pressing its buttons and keys completely at random. When the others stopped, she dropped it on the floor. It let out one last sickly wheeze, ending the song.

Kids all over town suddenly started busting out laughing. Uncontrollably.

With the previous song being about her affection for the 1121st as a whole, Kanata thought it only appropriate to play songs about each of the members of her platoon next. Starting with their Commander.

"Filicia-san! 1234!"

Kanata blatted out a speedy bouquet of soft and squooshy notes for their soft and squooshy Commander, while Kureha kicked her drum savagely and beat it with a wobbly panel of sheet metal. Noël stood calmly in place and blew into both her whistle and her recorder at the very same time. As they all stopped, Kureha flung her panel away, sending it into the wall and ending the song in a clatter of metal.

Fussing mothers all over town began scolding their spasmatically laughing children and demanding that they sit down and shut up because they didn't see what was so expletive funny about all this.

"Meganekko! 1234!"

Kanata peppered the sky with wild toots. Kureha merely emitted one long, single, piercing scream into the sky. Noël stood calmly in place and waited until they stopped, then tossed the junky accordion over the parapet and down into the courtyard. It shattered in a final bloot of death.

Husbands all over town began staring lustily at their fussing wives, wondering why they suddenly felt in the mood for gettin' themselves some early mornin' bedroom action.

"Kureha-chan! 1234!"

Kanata blew herself stupid. Kureha went back to smashing her drum with things and growling and snarling. Noël stood calmly in place and lit some whistling fireworks. The song ended as the last whistler went out.

Naomi sat at her table, frowning to herself. That kid gets no glass dolphin from me, she thought.

"Twintails! 1234!"

Kanata blew herself stupider. Kureha smashed and snarled crazier. Noël stood calmly in place and made noises blowing across an open glass jug. At the end of the song she tossed the jug over the parapet, giving "Twintails" a final ending crash.

One random guy suddenly climbed up a tree, poked his head out from the top and began laughing like an idiot. He thought he was having a blast. Onlookers thought he'd just gone nuts. Both were right.

"Noël-chan! 1234!"

Kanata started coughing from all her frenzied playing; her notes sounded as though belched out of a dying carburetor. Kureha was screaming "LA LA LA! LA LA LA! LA LA LAAAA LA LAAAA LA LAAAAAA!" idiotically while slamming her pots and pans around with all her might. Noël stood calmly in place and carelessly scraped a bow across a dinky old violin, making it screech harder than a cat being thumbscrewed. At song's end, she calmly smashed it on a nearby merlon, putting it out of its misery.

Random food fights broke out among the teens at the produce stands in the marketplace, prompting angry shouts from the vendors. "Hey! What do you kids think you're doing!" they cried. "Food Fight! 1234!" the teens fired back as they chucked lettuce.

"Kuudere! 1234!"

Kanata's notes degenerated ever more...which, for the purpose at hand, was absolutely beautiful. Kureha yelled maniacally, sounding like she'd lost her mind...also beautiful. Noël stood calmly in place and blew raucously on a vuvuzela...beautiful.

One lonely, desperate youth had just been about to hang himself that very morning. Then he heard the noise in the sky...and he couldn't resist cracking a smile. Now he couldn't stop laughing. So in the end, he decided not to commit suicide after all. At least for today.

And so Kanata ended up saving yet another life in this world by acting like a complete idiot. Proving that, no matter what she did, she was indeed a very special girl who touched lives.

Rio, however, couldn't have cared two farts about that at the moment as she finally came storming up the clock tower and onto the parapet.

"What the hell are you doing ! ?" Rio thundered.

"What The Hell Are You Doing! 1234!"

Kanata wasn't sure if she was so much playing her bugle as she was massacring it now. Kureha held her drum up before Noël and screamed "YOU SUCK! YOU SUUUCK!" over and over as Noël stood calmly in place and blew her vuvuzela into it, showing no emotion even as she nearly deafened herself.

Slamming her hands on her ears, Rio rushed at Noël, ripped the horn from her hands and threw it over the side, kicked Kureha's drum out of her hands, then grabbed Kanata by the collar and roughly dragged her off.

"Rio-Sempai Is Dragging Me Away! 12-mmmfmf!"

Kanata ate Rio's palm as Rio hauled her butt down from the tower. Kureha and Noël did nothing. Now that Rio was pissed, they already knew that their butts would be next.

~ . ~ . ~

"What I don't understand is how she managed to rope you two into it!" Rio raged at Kureha and Noël later in Filicia's office, while Kanata was off in her room recovering from her punishment - a dressing down unlike any the 1121st had ever seen. Rio had hoped for Filicia to be even just a little stern with them, but no, Filicia sat calmly at her desk, wearing that same glasses-faced grin of hers that she always wore.

Sweaty and still breathing hard, Kureha was sulking. She wanted to get back to screaming and banging more stuff around, even though it wouldn't be possible now.

Noël, however, just looked sleepy. But she replied to Rio in a monotone, "It was fun."

"Fun?" Rio growled.

"Yes," she nodded. And without giving any indication that she was having even the slightest bit of fun, expressionlessly she pulled out her duck call, put it to her lips, and blew it for Rio.

Honnnkk...

~ . ~ . ~

Epilogue (aka Meanwhile, Back At The Church...)

Yumina watched as the giddy Mishio bounced around her. "Ahahahahaha!" the little girl cried. "I wanna hear 'em do it again! Again, again! 1234!"

The priestess could only sweatdrop awkwardly. "E-Ehehehe..."

this fanfic was made possible by Sora no Woto and The Gerogerigegege. Sora no Woto you know about...The Gerogerigegege, you just might be better off *not* knowing about, if you haven't heard of it. but youtube has a selection of some EPs, for the curious. though be prepared for possible ear rape...and maybe eye rape too, depending on the vid. ^_^

also here's a link to a "band pic" of 1121-3 i put together just for fun...loosely based on the style of cover art for some of the Gerogerigegege EPs. actually, it's not even close. but well, the idea started there, anyway:

imgur d o t com s l a s h UqRka d o t png