Disclaimer: I don't own Loveless.

Note: I own Kannazuki Shoukou and Shimotsuki Rittou.

Hikari Maiden: Kannazuki is God month. Gods gather in October for an annual meeting at the Izumo Shrine. Shoukou is October 23rd. Shimotsuki is frost month. It's the first frost of the winter. Rittou is November 7th, the first day of winter.

Ai

By: Hikari Maiden

Kannazuki Shoukou laid on her back, arms bent behind her head. She stared at the ceiling with frightened, pale, blue-green eyes as tears fell from the rims and slid along her cheeks and chin. She sighed and closed her eyes. As soon as she closed her eyes, red splattered onto her face. She gasped as her eyes shot open and widened. More red splattered onto her face and she saw a bathtub full of red liquid. She saw blood run along the side of a shower. She saw blood drip from a showerhead. She sniffled, coughed, and whimpered, "Blood. I see blood." Her head began to throb and she began to feel dizzy and sparkles began to invade her vision. She began to breathe heavily. She saw something too quick to get anything, but bodies and blood. Then, she saw a girl run up some stairs. She saw her from behind, from the top of the skirt, to the bottom of the feet. She seemed scared. She breathed heavily. She seemed to run away from something, from someone. She wore a dark, green, knee-length skirt and black leggings. She wore black, dress shoes. She saw blood run and drip everywhere. She whimpered, "Blood. I see a lot of blood." She saw herself with blood all over her body. She moaned, "Ow. Hurts." She saw the girl again. She watched the girl run. She squeezed her eyes shut, pressed her hands against her ears, and curled into a tight ball on her right side as she screamed, "Stop it!" She opened her eyes a little. She weakly said, "Please. I beg you. Go away." Her eyelids felt heavy and she felt tired. Her body felt weak, so heavy, it hurt to move. I'm scared to close my eyes. She struggled to keep her eyes open. No! I'll see blood again!

I heard her scream. Is she all right? Concerned, Soubi entered her bedroom. "Kannazuki-chan?"

She jumped with a gasp and screamed. Then, lay there, and trembled all over.

He sat on the bed beside her. "Are you all right?"

She gulped and rubbed at her tears. "O-Onii-sama?"

"I heard you scream. Are you crying?"

She sighed. "I'm a mess. You probably consider me ridiculous."

He shook his head. "If you screamed and cried over a harmless butterfly, I would."

She smiled and shook her head. "Um-um. You'd consider me mentally ill if I told you."

"This may come as awkward to you, but you kindly accept Ritsuka for Ritsuka and me for me. Now, I kindly accept you for you."

She sighed and rolled her eyes. "Soubi. Awkward. Come on. I'm a white belt when it comes to social."

He reached towards her and gently placed his hand on her shoulder. "Come on. What's wrong?"

As soon as she lifted her head from the pillow, her head throbbed and the room spun and sparkles invaded her vision. She pressed her hand against the side of her head, twisted her fingers in her thick, blonde bangs, squeezed her eyes shut and clenched her teeth as she bit the lower, right corner of her lip and laid back down. She mumbled, "Nngh…Ow…"

He reached over and gently pried her fingers from her bangs. "You'll tear your hair. Relax. Whatever it is seems to worsen when you fight it."

She hissed in pain and fear. "I saw something. It scared me." Images of what she saw flashed through her min again. Tears rushed to her eyes and she sniffled and whimpered, "Lots of blood. Bodies. Myself covered in blood. A girl, who seemed scared, who seemed to run from something, from someone." She sighed and closed her eyes. "I'm scared by the images that flash inside my mind. I don't understand what they're trying to tell me. It seems I understand my persistent feelings and my persistent thoughts and my persistent nightmares when it's too late, when something awful happens. I get so confused, it wears me out. I feel unable to completely rely on my persistent feelings, my persistent thoughts, and my persistent nightmares, and I feel unable to completely trust most people."

Little lamb found her way to a man she loves and loves her back. However, little lamb walks on a thin line between light and dark. Will little lamb wander from the light and fall into the dark, once again? Will she feel as if she has been stabbed in the center of her heart? Will she feel unbearable pain inside the center of her chest? Will she feel a stone in the center of her stomach? Will her heart crash at the bottom of the darkest pit and shatter? Will her torn heart bleed endlessly? Will she drown in her endlessly shed tears? Will her heart harden and turn cold? Will she be numb to any emotion of love? She's childish for her age. She's been hurt. There's still a lot to heal. He smiled and whispered, "Little lamb."

"Hm?"

He grinned. "Shimotsuki-kun went to the store. Guess what he went buy for his special girl?"

The image of a small cup of banana ice cream entered her mind and she smiled and sat up. Her face glowed as she licked her lips. "Oh, yummy!"

He chuckled. "I knew that would cheer you up, banana fanatic." She's so kawaii.

Confused, she asked, "Where's necko boi?"

"Ritsuka's not feeling well. He's in the other room."

Her face lit up with an idea. "Hey! I know! Does he like tea, or coffee? If so, what kind?"

"He likes green tea."

"'Kay! I'll make him some!" She darted to the kitchen. When I help someone and succeed, my heart feels light, warm, and fuzzy. It feels I've accomplished something great.

Suddenly, she felt as if her breath had been sucked in and she stood still struggled to breathe. Can't…breathe…hurts…suffocating! Her lungs hurt as if they didn't have enough oxygen. Her heart pounded inside her chest and it hurt. She felt something thick move inside her chest and she coughed. She recognized the smell and she remembered the only person there at the moment, who smoked. Did I warn him? Did he forget? Her head throbbed and she coughed more and she coughed harder as she crumbled to her knees and the pan of boiled water tumbled from the stove.

Ritsuka dashed towards her and he quickly pulled her back.

Desperate, she choked out, "Rit…su…ka…-kun… Can't…breathe…hurts…suffocating…smoke…" Please. I beg you. Understand.

"Are you all right?"

Soubi entered the kitchen, cigarette in mouth.

Really desperate, she choked out, "Onii-sama…"

She said, "Smoke." There's no fire. The only "smoke" is Soubi's cancer stick. "Soubi. Your cigarette."

My cigarette causes this to happen? "Oh." There are times when she irritates me and I just want to slap her. Other than that, it's difficult to want to hurt her. She's so big-hearted. I want to protect her as if she were my biological younger sister. He found a nearby ashtray and put out his cigarette. "This is the first time this happened. What's wrong?"

She sighed with relief and tears of gratefulness hung in her eyes as she hugged Soubi. "Thank-you, onii-sama! I love you so much, onii-sama!" She placed a gentle smacker on his cheek.

Ritsuka laughed. "Okay, now, this is just too funny!"

She quickly wrapped her arms around Ritsuka and pulled him towards her in a hug. Then, she began to rub his kawaii menuu cat ears. "Onii-sama is cool and he's a good guy and deserves precious, beloved baby brother Ritsuka-kun! Ritsuka-kun so deserves onii-sama!"

Ritsuka told her, "You're something else, you know that?"

"My little Ritsuka-kun kawaii and cuddly!"