I had tried to write this story before, but stopped when I felt like something was wrong. I want this to be as accurate a portrayal of Dimitri as possible and my first attempt did not fit the timeline properly.

It is hard to get into Dimitri's head and provide all accurate information as to what we learn throughout the series. If you notice something wrong - misspellings of people's names, misinformation about Dimitri's family, or something wrong about the school, PLEASE let me know in a review or PM and I will fix it.

To those of you who have read this story before, it is Vampire Academy through Dimitri's eyes. BUT, I started a lot sooner than the first book did. I wanted to give Dimitri a little time to himself: How did he get to the school? How did he get that 'God' nickname? How did he find Rose and Lissa?

Let me know what you think...

"I'm so sorry Dimka," my mother's voice was quiet and sympathetic in my ear. I squeezed the phone closer to my ear, imagining her arms wrapping around me in a comforting hug even though she was half a world away. Whenever I was upset when I was little, just being in her arms made the world seem so much better. I wanted her hug like the air in my lungs.

"I know, I'm sorry too," I whispered in the phone. I heard my voice shake and I knew she could hear it too.

"Please do not blame yourself Dimitri. You weren't there - there was nothing you could have done to change what happened to Ivan and I know you know that," she said in a stern, yet still soft voice. She also knew that I was kicking myself for taking the day off. I had told Ivan a million times that I don't need to do anything - that guarding him was like I was on vacation - but he still made me admit that I could use a day off my feet. What really got me was that I spent the day doing nothing. I slept in till noon, ate leftover Chinese in my pjs on the couch as I watched whatever soap was on at the time, and then read a book in my favorite chair.

"Yes, you're right, I know that. I just can't stop asking myself 'what if,'" I admitted.

"What if you were there when the other Guardian and Ivan got attacked? Only God knows what might have happened. I might be grieving for the loss of my only son right now. If you were there and were able to stop the attack, we wouldn't be having this conversation. If you were there and died, then this family would be devastated. Do not dwell on what might have happened 'if you were there' because the fact is there is no way to change the past. The most we can ask of this is that something was learned and we can live a better life because of this. Do not let this keep you from living your life. There is a reason you're still here. Find out what you were meant to do Dimitri," she had switched from sympathetic to passionate halfway through that speech. I took a deep sigh and promised her that I would make her proud.

"We are always proud of you," she said, and I could detect a smile in her voice. "We just wish you can come home for a visit soon."

"I want to Mother, believe me. But I got my new assignment yesterday and I need to get to St. Vladimir's Academy by tomorrow morning," there was a note of indignation in my voice as I said this. Four days ago, my friend and charge Ivan Zelkos was attacked and killed by Strigoi, along with the Guardian that was covering my leave. Two days ago was the wake. And one day ago, I received a package from the Guardian Counsel that I have been reassigned already. This phone call to my mother was the first and only time I am letting myself grieve and miss my friend.

"Don't doubt yourself, I know you will find a home there in no time honey," her endless faith in me surprised me, but I guess that's what any mother will think of their children.

I was about to say something, but I heard my mother talking to someone else in the room as she held the phone away from her mouth. I wanted to talk to my sisters while I was at it, but Mother already told me that they were either out or working already, so I will try again in a few days.

"Dimitri? Yeva wants to tell you something important."

There was a shuffle as the phone was passed to my grandmother and then her heavy voice greeted me. "Dimitri - stay away from the dark haired girl. She is great and will be trouble from the start. As much as I know you will want to, do not let her get under your skin. Trust me; it will be better for all of us if you don't let yourself fall."

"What does that-" I started, I wasn't sure she told me everything that she saw. I know she gets a couple visions of me and she likes telling them to me in code, but what she just said was so vague. There are a lot of dark haired girls in the world.

Before I could get another word out of my mouth, she turned the phone off. My grandmother just hung up on me. I stared blankly, almost willing myself to understand what she just said, but I guess I will find out when a 'dark haired girl' starts getting to me.

Taking one last look at the picture of St. Vladimir's, I gathered the packets, shrugged on my duster, and slipped my Guardian mask into place. I should get used to this mask; I'm going to make it my permanent expression. What was I thinking when I joked around with Ivan all those years? What made me think I could relax? My mother said I had to learn something from what happened to Ivan: I learned that I must always - always - put Moroi first. No matter what I may feel or what I may want. This is the life I will lead, and nothing will change that.