Hi! This is my first Maximum Ride fic…so be nice and review! And let me say this for the entire story, I DON'T OWN ANYTHING! Also I am making up the date of the 20 years!

June 17, 2010

Dear Max –
You looked so beautiful today. I'm going to remember what you looked like forever. And I hope you remember me the same way – clean, ha-ha. I'm glad our last time together was happy.
But I'm leaving tonight, leaving the flock, and this time it's for good. I don't know if I'll ever see any of you again. The thing is, Max, that everyone is a little bit right. Added up all together, it makes this big one right.
Dylan's a little bit right about how my being here might be putting the rest of you in danger. The threat might have been just about Dr. Hans, but we don't know that for sure. Angel is a little bit right about how splitting up the flock will help all of us survive. And the rest of the flock is a little bit right about how when you and I are together, we're focused on each other – we can't help it.
The thing is, Maximum, I love you. I can't help but be focused on you when we're together. If you're in the room, I want to be next to you. If you're gone, I think about you. You're the one I want to talk to. In a fight, I want you at my back. When we're together, the sun is shining. When we're apart, everything is in shades of gray.
I hope you'll forgive me someday for turning our worlds into shades of gray – at least for a while.
You're not at your best when you're focused on me. I mean, you're at your best Maxness, but not your best leaderness. I mostly need Maxness. The flock mostly needs leaderness. And Angel, if you're listening to this, it ain't you sweetie. Not yet.
At least for a couple more years, the flock needs a leader to survive, no matter how capable everyone thinks he or she is. The truth is that they do need a leader, and the truth is that you are the best leader. It's one of the things I love about you.
But the more I thought about it, the more sure I got that this is the right thing to do. Maybe not for you, or for me, but for all of us together, our flock.
Please don't try to find me. This is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life, besides wearing that suit today, and seeing you again will only make it harder. You'd ask me to come back, and I would, because I can't say no to you. But all the same problems would still be there, and I'd end up leaving again, and then we'd have to go through this all over again.
Please make us go through this only once.
I love you. I love your smile, your snarl, your grin, your face when you're sleeping. I love your hair streaming out behind you as we fly, with the sunlight making it shine, if it doesn't have too much mud or blood in it. I love seeing your wings spreading out, white and brown and tan and speckled, and the tiny, downy feathers right at the top of your shoulders. I love your eyes, whether they're cold or calculating or suspicious or laughing or warm, like when you look at me.
You're the best warrior I know, the best leader. You're the most comforting mom we've ever had. You're the biggest goofball, the worst driver, and a truly lousy cook. You've kept us safe and provided for us, in good times and bad. You're my best friend, my first and only love, and the most beautiful girl I've ever seen, with wings or without.
Tell you what sweetie: if in twenty years we haven't expired yet, and the world is still more or less in one piece, I'll meet you at the top of that cliff where we first met the hawks and learned to fly with them. You know the one. Twenty years from today, if I'm still alive, I'll be there waiting for you. You can bet on it.
Good-bye my love.
Fang
P.S. Tell everyone I sure will miss them.

Dear Fang,

I never really thought that I'd ever use this journal, the cover is the ugliest color of pink I've ever seen…then again, I think all pink is ugly. Do you remember when Nudge gave it to me the first Christmas after we left the School? She was so excited, I never had the heart to throw it away…It's kinda sad what's it's going to be used for though. My one-day-a-year crutch. Yep Fang, I' going to write in it just one a year for the next 20 years…or until I…God, it's hard to say it…expire. And if I should die before I can meet you I'm going to have one of the flock take it to the cave and leave it for you…if any of them are still around.

I guess you've seen the letter; I didn't have the heart to throw it away so I glued it in here. If you look on the back (inside) cove and the very last page, I glued two of the pictures from Total's wedding there. One is at the reception and the other is the one my Mom took at the altar of all of us: me, you, Iggy, Gazzy, Nudge, Angel, Total and his lovely bride. (HA) We looked so happy, it's hard to believe that only a few short hours later we were all crying about the letter. Yea, everyone cried…even Iggy…God, it almost killed me that letter.

I really don't know what to say…I go from swearing at you to crying because you left \ to swearing again. The letter also makes me smile…through the tears. I'm glad you love my snarl because when I see you I'm got to beat you up…then I'll feel better.

I really don't know what to say so I'm going to build up the wall around m heart and get back to the real world, even if it kills me.

Max

P.S. I love you.

Well there's entry 1…I know it's short and choppy but Max is grief stricken and confused…like it's going to be perfect! Please Read and review! I really don't know when the next entry will be up (I have two other stories going so…..)

Thanks, Agent Striker