hope you enjoy the story xx AU teenage Dean and Cas

text in '' and italic are whats going through Dean's head xxx

It was quite a sight for Deans 14 yr old brother as he peered into the basement of his house. Sammy watched his elder brother and his friends drink bear, play jokes on each other and sing along to what Sam saw as crappy music, all the while stuffing them selves with pizza. He envied his brother; Deans Wednesday evenings were different to his; however the sight Sammy was set on was ruby, tipsy after polishing of the wine and up wanting to dance. Sam swallowed and felt the air make its way down his dry throat, he really liked her. As he watched her remove her t-shirt to reveal a tight tank top underneath Sammy starred for too long and lost his balance on the old dark wood stairs. Dean heard the bang and new who it was, who it always was. He stood at the foot of the stairs completely blocking Sam's view.

"Get out Sammy." The very embarrassed Sammy turned and fled face crimson. "Go do your homework!"

Dean shouted after him. The amount he cared and watched out for his little brother was a real turn on for girls, shown by how after this Becky placed her hand on her heart, which meant her hand over her large breasts that were untamed by her low top she pouted a little and advanced to Dean, probably going in for a drunken hug. Dean softly pushed her back to the sofa which she collapsed onto it easily and onto the lap on Chuck. Chuck seized up, he loved Becky has done for years now and she still has no idea, he was in the regrettable 'friend zone'.

Dean chuckled as he sat himself down into the other sofa, next Castiel. Dean's sharp green eyes connected instantly with Cas' deep blue ones and they exchanged smiles. Dean's stomach flipped and gave him butterflies. Assuming that he was hungry he broke the intense gaze between them to grab a slice of pizza, whilst Cas looked away glancing at the wall again. Looking down at the pizza that was starting to burn his fingers, with melted cheese steaming pepperoni hot sausage and creamy tomato sauce that would on any given day make Deans mouth water, he realised he wasn't actually that hungry. Looking back at Cas he felt it again and thought it had to be hunger, it was weird and strangely warming, and Dean wasn't the best at feelings.

Dean ate his pizza whilst looking at the side of Cas' head. Cas often did this, stared at nothing in particular. More than once Dean wished he could see through his friend's eyes, see the world like he did. It was as if whatever Cas was staring at, was just out of reach for Dean to see. This fascinated and frustrated him at the same time, much like Castiel himself. Dean couldn't help but scanning his eyes up and down Cas' full body. Dean unwillingly often stopped at his lips his dry slightly chapped lips that were

'In need of a good kissing,' 'what the hell?' Dean thought why did he think that? okay that definitely went goes in the huge part in his mind labelled 'things I should never tell Castiel ever'; it accompanies the dream he had when the pole dancer had Cas' face, when he watched Cas getting changed for gym out of the corner of his eye, and well didn't look away, didn't feel the need too, their first secret chaste kiss, that Dean dreamed of for weeks after.

When everyone started laughing Dean got snatched back to the basement, his friend's loud cackles sounded more like hyenas than anything else. Dean looked over and laughed also at how dorky Chuck acted as Becky sleepily placed her head on his shoulder, he whimpered slightly at the feel of her breath on his neck. Becky drifted to sleep unaware of the effect she was having.

Cas slowly looked over, not to Becky and Chuck but to Dean, his face was lit up by the smile that spread over his face making his green eyes twinkle and glow. He knew Dean was looking at him he could feel it. Cas could feel it in class too, in the lunch hall and in the changing rooms, Cas didn't mind it just meant it justified all the times he starred at and pined over Dean. Jo, Anna and Gabriel started mocking Chuck as friends do. As Dean stood to fetch another beer, this allowed Cas let out the breath that got caught in this throat that the sight of twinkling Dean.

"Dean, throw us a beer." Uriel demanded he was slummed on the floor the sofa propping him up; he was enjoying watching the turned off TV. Dean looked at him feeling bad for the guy

"Erm I think you've had enough mate" Dean replied, expecting an argument, like he always got from Uriel. Instead he watched his left hand move in front of his face, after concluding he had three, he had to agree with Dean.

Dean smiled as he grabbed two beers and rejoined Cas on the sofa, Cas did not initially except the beer Dean tilted towards him. "I can't have everyone else pissed and you sitting their as sober as an angel on Sunday."

"You under estimate me Dean." Cas could really put it away, he probably had the most out of every one. He had even came around an hour early to help Dean make jello shots, which they consumed most of before anyone else arrived and haven't actually told anyone else they were in the fridge. Since then, for 4 hours he was barley without a beer in his hand. Cas looked at Dean and new he wasn't giving up and took the bottle with a polite but forced smile.

"Cheers mate." Dean said as he clanked the glass bottles together. Dean watched as Cas took a long swing, he watched the cool sparkling liquid enter Cas' mouth and down his throat. Dean watched as a small droplet of water from the ice that kept it cool formed and fell, landing on the front of his neck. The bead of water ran smoothly over his Adams apple that gently moved as Cas drunk.

'I'll lick that off for you' Dean thought loudly in his head 'what!', completely shocked at his mind tonight he can usually control himself, 'I can't believe I thought that', but couldn't stop himself imagining it, he was straddling Cas and running his tongue slowly up his neck catching the water marks on the way. When Dean got to his Adams apple he softly kissed it then return his attention to Cas' pale unmarked neck. He was slow and received a groan or two from Cas who's head was facing the ceiling to give him the space to work, Cas' eyes were half shut and lips parted, his breathing uneven and breathy.

Dean was so into his day dream, that he didn't notice Cas had finished drinking and was staring at him head adorably tilted in confusion. Cas noticed Deans eyes were glazed, very dark and full of lust. Deans breathing now became heavy and rusty.

"Dean" Cas spoke in his usual low gravely voice

'Dean' he imagined Cas moan his name, as Cas pressed his lips against his friend, the kiss was strong and passionate. Cas' hand lifted to his face pulling him closer and closer, wanting all that Dean had. 'I want you' this shocked Dean most of all, it was him that whispering in Cas' ear as he playfully nipped kissed and licked his ear lobe and neck.

Cas was still on the sofa, unclear on what was happening, maybe he should move or try talking some more. He looked around the badly lit room to where chuck and Becky were dozing, Uriel had passed out, Anna and Jo were bitching and Meg and ruby were explicitly dancing whilst Gabriel watched eagerly, too shy to join in. Castiel concluded even though the situation was slightly awkward the best place to be was, as ever, by Dean's side. Dean was staring at Cas' neck the blank lustful stare, made Cas' stomach go tingly.

"Dean are you alright?"

Cas now had Dean pinned to the sofa. Cas grinded his hips into his own and both gasping with pleasure. Cas kissed his strong jaw line, before pulling away from him, he was always concerned for Deans well being 'Dean are you alright?'

"Oh god yes."

He groaned out the words, as Cas was unbuckling Dean's belt,

However it was not until this point did he realised he said the last part out loud, not so loud it was heard over the music, but loud enough so Cas undoubtedly heard. That and the pink tint Cas' cheeks turned. Cas being somewhat of a social retard sometimes didn't get the gravity of Deans words, or maybe it was because he wasn't just imagining begging his best friend to suck his cock.

You can see why at this point Dean wanted the ground to swallow him whole. Cas tilted his head looking deep at Dean as if trying to read his red twitching face. Dean had always felt that Cas could see into him. It was the way he stared and made Deans head go fuzzy and limbs heat up, a very, very worrying thought at this time.

"Good." Cas finally said with uncertainty, there was nothing else he really could say. Dean was locked onto Cas curling the sides of his lips into a slight grin, as if he knew a secret about him, which made Dean feel uncomfortable.

Dean's mouth opened and he was about to speak about well anything, anything would do, just something to stop the weird silence. Before Dean could Cas got up and excused himself. After watching Cas leave, Dean's head fell into his hands.

"What the hell is wrong with me?"

"You really want me to answer that?"

Anna unexpectedly replied as he slumped her self beside Dean

"Piss off Anna; I'm not in the mood" Anna just smiled and looked a him

"Now, now temper, temper, but seriously what's up?" Dean looked at the place he had last seen Cas before he left the basement.

"Nothing" Dean lied to her. Anna having better luck if she was trying to bleed a stone, joined the girls that started doing vodka shots that ruby brought with her.

Dean didn't know why he was so upset, so angry? Dean raked it through his brains why was he angry?

'Cas had walked out on me, Cas had walked out on me. Its good he left gives me time to make up an excuse, but if he hadn't left I could have just laughed it off, and in any case if Cas had never arrived in the first place I would never have thought of him like that, if he hadn't of drunk that beer I wouldn't of started the fantasy, so really its all Cas' fault.'

Dean's logic amazed even himself; of course it wasn't Cas' fault. Dean knew it, he just always had trouble admitting that it was his thoughts, his desire. Cas was the fuel that hit the fire, that when Dean went over it, The fire he felt for Cas had been alight for a while. He happily took the heat from it but never questioned where it came from or saw the flames, until now. It was Cas he saw.

'I am way to drunk for this'

"Dean you wanna play?" Asked Meg just before taking a shot and giving him an enticing wink, well at least it was supposed to be.

"Maybe in a bit" Dean waved his arm at them as he turned and started to walk up the stairs, his absence going unnoticed by the girls. Meg, at the best of times slightly rude so drunk she was downright obnoxious, the other two were simply to far passed it.

When Dean reached the top of the stairs, we walked out of the dark door frame that lead to the basement and stood of the hard wood floor of the kitchen. There was a sound of the loo flushing and a lock being unlocked. Cas soon appeared to his right received a smile from Dean, glad he didn't just walk out and go home in the middle of the night, but there was the silence again. As Cas and Dean stood there, the silence was deafening and pounded in his ears.

"Could you…help me with the jello shots?" Dean asked gesturing to the fridge. Both him and Cas know full well there were merely seven left and did not need major assistance nor were they in fact needed since vodka was being consumed downstairs. Neither of them minded that it was such a weak attempt to break the ice, Cas found it rather sweet actually.

"Sure" Cas spoke gently with curled up lips that formed a touching shy smile.

The boys experienced a major chick flick moment when their hands met going for the fridge handle. There is actually something to those moments, both the boys did go adorably embarrassed after feeling their fingers went fuzzy as they touched. They had been best friends for years and often touched and if the occasion called for it even hugged, once after Lisa broke up with Dean and broke his heart, Dean rested his head in Cas' lap, whilst Cas held him in his arms and tears rolled down both their cheeks, which was something that fell under the pile labelled 'things that will never be told to anyone never!' no doubt in both their heads, though fortunately that night led the two to their first kiss.

Some how now was different to all of that, they were both suddenly extremely aware of each other and what they were touching. Dean chuckled and Cas went red. Both fidgeted and looked around them. Cas gestured to the fridge, in an 'it's your house you get to open the fridge, it was my fault would happen again' kind of way, in reality it was just a quick point as he nodded slightly whilst keeping eye contact. But Dean knew what was meant

"Dude no need to apologise, you spend so much time hear it's practically your house too."

"That is true, you mum cooks more food for me here, then I get at home."

He joked, Dean loveed him for letting him lighten the atmosphere and going along with the stupid joke, stupid or not they both laughed.

"Yeah, you do all your homework here."

"And help baby-sit."

"Hell you might as well sleep here with me…in my bed...HOUSE."

'shit shit shit shit shit holy mother fucking shit shoot me fucking shoot me now.'

"Yeah I should"

Dean looked up from the floor which he was praying would open up very very soon, to look a Cas. Completely unaware whether he was joking or not.

"What?"

Cas coughed maybe he had not meant to say that, maybe it was a joke gone wrong.

"I err meant that it would be simpler, if I…."

Over the next few minutes Cas and Dean, were once again staring at each other, this time it was comfortable and no one was planning their escape route or next words. Dean noticed that Cas' eyes were like they were in his dream, hungry, lustful desperate. Doing something sober Dean would never do and drunk dean does too much, he moved up in Cas' personal space, took hold of Cas' right arm that was tense from nerves by this side. Dean moved in to Castiel's neck, he swallowed as if doing so would give I'm courage and gently placed a dry soft kiss under Cas' left ear.

"Why don't you?"

Dean whispered trying to make his voice sound as husky and appealing as possible. Cas instantly looked at Dean bewildered and in shock. Was he suggesting what Cas thought he was suggesting? Did Dean finally mean it? Cas couldn't get any words out, he just stood there lips inches from Deans, breathing so hard Dean could taste his breathe, the sound of it fill Deans ears and made him think of other ways he could make Cas breath that heavy.

Cas slowly moved his lips against Deans as a means of testing how serious he was. Dean did not pull away or flinch, they moved their lips against each others slowly and softy. When the kiss ended their lips lingered close to the others. Cas was obviously nervous, but it was not like Dean went the hole hog and pinned him to the fridge, which did come into his mind but was decided against, until he saw Cas lick his lips slowly and subtly as if trying to get the taste of Dean inside him. And he slowly bite his bottom lip whilst looking at Deans. Dean had told him a few years ago that it turned him on, during one of their drunken chats, and the basted remembered.

'Okay then you've got i.t'

Dean grabbed Castiel by the shoulders and violently shoved him into the fridge, Cas gasped half from pain half from pleasure, Deans lips lingered just in front on Cas', then rolled his tongue across Cas' lips gently, teasing him. Dean kept the pressure on Cas' crotch with his own, he could feel it slowly harden, Dean pulled his chest away in order see Cas pinned to the fridge he found the sight such a turn on. His hands found Cas' ass it was firm and ripe as Dean squeezed. Cas' hands were stroking Deans chest he raised them until his hands were around his neck playing with Deans hair for a moment. When Castiel began to pull him closer,

"Cas are you sure about this?" Dean's well meaning question merely got a smirk from Cas as he continued.

There was a sudden loud smash from behind Cas and Dean, followed by gearing from the basement. Both Cas and Dean froze, they hadn't intended an audience. Dean slowly turned to see none other then Sam, standing open mouthed with a pile of broken glass at his feet. Dean smiled an embarrassed smile at his brother. Cas not being able to, stared at the floor well Dean's ass but close enough. Sam looked from Dean to Cas back to Dean then Cas and so on. Until final be has able to speak

"What the fuck!"

"Sammy its not what it looks like"

"Oh really because it looks like my brother is making out with his best friend in our kitchen!"

"Okay well maybe it is what it looks like but it's not what you think"

"Oh so or not gay?"

"No!" Dean exclaimed instantly knowing right away it was a mistake. The too familiar word hit Cas like a million shards of glass that hit every part of his body whilst at the same time Dean himself was slowly cutting out his heart with a butter knife. A silent tear fell down Castiel cheek as he pushed past Dean.

"Wait Cas, I didn't mean…" Dean ran after Cas, Dean made sure to bang Sam with force in the shoulder as he sped past. So much force Sam spun round, in order to catch the middle finger Dean was giving him before he went out the front door to chase after Cas. "Cas please wait!" Dean caught up to Cas, and grabbed his shoulder so he would turn around. By turning Cas around he revealed tear stained eyes and quivering lips. Cas looked to the sky to try and stop the tears. "Cas I'm sorry"

"Sorry for what Dean? For lying to me, humiliating me, for making me fall in love with you all over again or for breaking my heart, again!"

"Everything okay, I'm sorry for everything." Dean tried to touch Cas' face but his hand was swatted away.

"This isn't just about what I said to Sam is it?"

"It's about everything Dean; you get lonely and horny I get it, your 18 it happens to us all, but why then come to me. I deserve to be happy don't I?"

"Be happy with me." Dean pleaded through tears. He had always cared for Cas, but only when he saw the pain on Cas' beautiful face, does he realise how much.

"Your not gay Dean, remember you said so yourself!"

"If I just wanted a quick drunken roll in the hay don't you think I would go for one of the girls instead of my best friend? And if I was drunk enough to go after my best friend, if I didn't feel anything why would I make that mistake again and again? It's because it's not a mistake, we're not a mistake Cas. I want you, just you, the hole you, everything."

"Stop playing me Dean." Cas spoke through gritted teeth

"I don't want anyone else"

"Then what about graduation?" Cas barked at Dean. There was silence Dean had no explanations no excuses.

"I'm sorry."

"what no big story, not the right time, too much pressure at school, at work, at home, oh yes and my favourite telling people wont make it more real, yes that ones a keeper!"

despite being emotional as Cas let go of all the pent up anger and frustration that he had kept hidden for so long, there was distinct hate in his voice.

"I'm way too drunk for this Cas."

"You see there's my point, your drunk, you're always drunk!" Cas shook his head and walked away. He had too. If he didn't he knew he would end up there by Deans side in a state of desperate hope forever.

"I love you!" Dean shouted at Cas as he was crossing the quiet road, Cas stopped instantly his heart leapt knowing full well Dean was basically an 'I love you' virgin, but forcing away the smile that had crept onto his face and making himself be strong he turned and shouted back

"Would you ever say that to me if you were sober?" Dean looked down he honestly didn't know, he'd never really said it to anyone before. "That's what it thought, you know how I feel Dean, and it's killing me here. Until you can admit to yourself and everyone else. Just, just stay away from me okay."

Dean stared at Cas, he had never seen him so emotional, at the sight of Cas in so much pain he felt his heart slowly sink and shatter. Cas not needing to wait for a reply carried on walking down the dark street making sure not to look back.

"Cas, please! Don't go! Stay with me! Please! CAS!" Dean was begging he was desperate for Cas to stay. There was nothing he wanted more than to have Castiel put his arms around him and tell him they can make it through. Dean collapsed to his knees, "Please" out of energy out of ideas out of hope; "I love you." Dean gently coughed out through his tears. His eyes fell shut as tears fell down his face, Dean just let them fall.

'Why couldn't I do this when I'm sober?' Dean stayed there, kneeling in the street at 1am. Picturing Cas' face; his dark messy hair, full lips and breathtakingly blue eyes. 'Why did this happen? Why didn't 'I love you' work? It's what all my old girlfriends wanted,'

For Deans to be theirs completely; heart, body, soul and mind. When he finally realised the person that had Deans all along, was the one that just walked out of his life, he realised but refused to believe it was too late. The heart broken boy tried desperately hard to force some resemblance of feeling in this body that had gone numb. Dean knelt there, as tears streamed helplessly from his blood shot green eyes onto his wet and blocky cheeks. Dean looked to the sky; the dark blue sky scattered with stars and prayed, for the first time in his life he prayed. He prayed for Castiel.

If you're not happy with how this ended- i know it's sad, so sorry lol and you want more check out the continuation 'too in love for this' X

please review xXx