A/N: It's baaaaaack...

Today, my co-workers staged an intervention for me. Not because of an addiction, but because of my fashion choices. FML

Today, I was playing softball with some NYPD officers. I hit what would have a home run... had it not hit a detective in the head, knocking him unconscious. Did I mention that he and I have a bit of a thing for each other? FML

Today, a dog didn't eat my homework. A guinea pig ate my trial notes for a crucial case. FML

Today was the best day of my life. The person I've been in love with for a year asked me out, I won all the cases I was prosecuting, and I ate a delicious dinner with my friends. Then I woke up. I'm single, suspended as an ADA, and none of my friends talk to me anymore. FML

Today, I went to a bar after work with a few of the detectives I work with. All seemed well, until a guy asked me to sit with him for a while. I did, but when I was ready to go, my co-workers had already left. FML.

Today, I started to sing during my lunch break in my office. My boss walked in, laughed, and told me not to quit my day job. FML

Today, I slept with a man who was an absolute god in bed. Only to find out that he was my deceased ex-fiancee's most hated cousin, who I had never met. FML

Today, someone broke into my house and stole my television, computer, laptop, and just about everything of value. I drove to my best friend's house, who just happens to be a police officer, and spent the night to be safe. While I was there, someone broke into his car and mine and stole everything. FML

Today, a friend of mine asked me to play New Super Mario Bros. Wii with them. All they did was try to kill my character, throwing him into pits, knocking shells at him, and leading enemies to him. When I quit, she killed me a whiny loser and has refused to talk to me since. FML