This idea came from the wonderful world of 4chan. One of their better ideas, I think! It's got the Mass Effect 1 characters in it, but it's in some kind of alternate reality where they're all working as cops. Deatails are as follows.

Male Shep as the Chief.
Fem Shep as the hardass FBI agent that fucks up their cases, but they still want in their pants.
Liara as the crime lab geek.
Ashley as the SWAT team leader.
Kaidan as a random wiseguy.

Tali as the plucky young assitant/secretary

Garrus is a cop looking to redeem himself after a scandal.
Wrex is a scarred mercenary looking for get-out-of-jail-free card.

Garrus surveyed the data file again. Everything by the book, done to regulations, except for two glaring flaws: the VIP ended up dead and the perp got away. Now he was taking the rap for it. Nobody really blamed him for what happened, not on the force anyway. A slightly synthesised voice called over the intercom. Tali'Zorah nar Rayya, Garrus' Quarian secretary. Doll had a great body, even with that suit on, but inter species didn't work, not with Quarians. Maybe if she was Asari like that chick down in the science lab, T'soni…Garrus put it from his mind and answered the voice.

"Yes, what is it?"

"The Chief wants to see you right away. He doesn't sound too happy."

Crap. This was just great. He had to walk all the way through the prisoner's block to get to the Chief's room. Shepard was a real nutbuster, worked the force for nigh on 20 years and spent his years off from active duty for a desk job watching over this place. Locking his terminal, Garrus shifted out of his seat and strode out of his office. Between the uniform and the pattern on his face, Garrus almost blended in with the steel walls, tinted blue by the lights at regular intervals. On his way, he passed one of his colleagues, Saren, who was seemingly trying to beat the coffee machine into divulging its caffeine. As he turned into the prison block, he was sure he heard Saren shouting at the machine, something along the lines of "Argh! Rarh! Argh!"

Prison Block C2, home to the mercs they'd picked up over the years. There were a hell of a lot of them, none too pleased to see the Turian walking by them.

"Vakarian." A gruff voice shouted to him from one of the lower levels. He turned to see a Krogan looking at him, standing against the wall of his cell and recognised him as one of the mercs he'd taken down with the help of 2 whole SWAT teams.

"Wrex. What can I do for you?"

"Heard you screwed up real bad. Chief's going to have your badge this time."

Garrus checked over his shoulder and walked to the force field covering the Krogan's cell.

"The Chief can kiss my ass. He's not having my badge. Not today, not ever."

"Well you're going to need a hand with whatever you're doing. You know it was probably a Krogan that made the hit. Thought you could use a little extra muscle."

"No. We've been through this, Wrex. Not going to happen."

"Whatever you say." And with that, he turned his back to the Turian and sat facing the wall on his bunk.

Krogan…how they still existed, even after the Genophage, was beyond many people, Garrus included, yet they still insisted on fighting and dying. Hopeless excuse for a species if ever there was one. Still, they were damn good in a fight.

He arrived at the Chief's door and knocked.

"Get your ass in here, Vakarian. You've got a lot of explaining to do."

The door slid open soundlessly, revealing the well-lit room of the Chief. He relaxed behind his desk, cigar in his mouth and feet up. To his right stood another human, a female whom Garrus had never seen before.

"What the hell do you think you've been doing, Vakarian? Now we've got the fucking FBI involved because YOU can't do your fucking job properly! I don't really want to hear your excuses; I've read the report. I'll leave you in the hands of the lackey the Feds sent." He finished, gesturing to the woman who didn't seem at all bothered by the Chief's lack of respect. "I'm getting myself a God damn coffee." And the door slid back as he left, somehow making more noise than when it opened. The other human was still facing the rear wall of the office as Garrus tried to speak.

"The name's Ga-"

"Garrus Vakarian, Turian, worked for Citadel Security before being snapped up to work with then Agent Shepard. Successfully rose through the ranks and then screws up what should have been a blue milk run in stopping an assassination." She turned to face Garrus for the first time. She had a cute face, a mean scar down her right eye and one hell of an attitude problem. "I should have your Chief Shepard court marshal you."

"And who exactly are you?" She flicked out her badge and he caught a glimpse of her scowling face on a photographic ID badge.

"Agent Shepard. Before you ask, no relation to that Chief of yours. Arrogant bastard."

"So what are you here to do?" Garrus had to ask to break the tension.

"I'm here to make sure you fix this fine mess you've made. You've got special clearance to do whatever is necessary to bring the perp in alive and kicking."

"Whatever is necessary, huh?" He mulled it over for a second. "Ok, I'll do it."

"You think that was a fucking request? You're gonna sort this out whether you like it or not."

Garrus left the Chief's room, Shepard's eyes watching him the whole way to the door which, while it was only a few paces, felt like it took an eternity under her steely gaze. The door slid shut behind him and he gave a heavy sigh of relief. So he had another chance to track down the perp and he needed help.

The Krogan was sat in the corner of his cell when the force field disappeared. This had to be a trick of some kind, they wouldn't just open his cell in the middle of the day. As Wrex contemplated his prospective escape run, a familiar Turian appeared from the direction of the Chief's office.

"Vakarian."

"Wrex, I have a proposition for you if you're interested."

"You know what I'm interested in. Credits and a good fight."

"In that case, you'll enjoy this. The Chief's given me permission to track down the perp and said I can use any means necessary. That means hiring a merc is fair game. Chances are that the guy we're after-"

"Whoa, we?" Wrex cut in "I haven't agreed to anything yet. You assume too much."

"But you're going to want to come. 5000 credits. Half now, half when the job's done and on top of that, we're prepared to let you go."

"No strings?"

"No strings."

"Ok then, you've got yourself a mercenary." The pair shook hands "So what are the details?"

"The guy we're after is likely a mercenary too. Turian, by the looks of the marksmanship on the hit." He added "No offence. Krogan hits are more brutal than this."

"Go on."
"Even if we get the perp, the guy who hired him is still going to be at large. We may need to use…unorthodox methods to get the information we want."

"I've got no problem with getting my hands dirty."

"Then come with me. We'll get your gear back from the requisitions officer and then visit the science lab for some mods."

The requisitions officer had a heck of a job locating all of Wrex's gear. When they finally brought him in, he had so many illegal items that even if they hadn't been after him, a trained security varren would have sniffed him out in seconds in a crowd. Grenades, rifles, shotguns, pistols and more mods than he it should have been possible to carry. And every single piece of equipment had been legalised since his capture. It was still pretty powerful stuff though, and Wrex was used to it. Only people in the system who had more firepower than him were Spectres.

I started writing this a while back and haven't really had the motivation to update it since. Still, if I get any comments on it I'll try to finish it off!