South Park: Unanswered questions

Note: This story dosn't follow the continuanty of South Park, as Mecha Streisand didn't attack and kill people, including Pip, who plays a large role in this story. This story is set two months after Military Hijinks.

Chapter 1: Summer Jobs

It was two days after the start of summer vaction. Kyle and Kenny were busy in Kyle's garage, busy repairing a bicycle.

"Okay, $20 to check the tires, oil the chain and clean the bike. I recon we could make $20 a day each with minimal effort. Everyone's wanting their bikes serviced." Kyle said

"And I'll finally be able to get myself some decent stuff." Kenny said. A bike bell rang, and Stan rode up on a bike.

"Another one? Whose is that?" Kenny asked, holding a notepad.

"It's Clydes. He needs it fixed within two days, he's going camping." Stan said

"What's Cartman up to then?" Kyle asked, "Besides helping us with the bikes, he said he was doing a part time job."

"Believe it or not, he's actually got himself a job at the general store." Stan said, "He's moving boxes around."

"What the hell? Who killed him and replaced him with a replicant?" Kenny laughed

"Come on dude, you know Cartman's been pretty, well, nicer since that accident on the mountains." Kyle said, "He and Pip were nearly killed. Guess it gave him a wake up call or something."

"Yeah. Talking about Pip, what is Captain Britain up too now? Is he in summer school again?" Kenny asked

"Nah, he's working with Mephisto or something." Stan said, "His foster family went on holiday, and left him working with Mephiso."

"What, they just dumped him?" Kenny asked, "Man, those guys are dicks."

"Pip's not bothered, his older sister is a right bitch." Cartman said, pushing another bike into the garage, "I used to allways say Kyles mom was a bitch, but dude, your moms like mother Teresa compared to Pip's sister."

Kenny realised that Cartman looked ill, his eyes were bloodshot and he looked pale.

"Cartman, dude, you look terrible. Have you been having trouble sleeping?" Kenny asked

"I keep having nightmares." Cartman said, "The fall down the mountain, the dreams keep getting worse. Last one, i was falling, but i didn't die. At the bottom though, thousands of dead bodies. You guys, Pip, Mom, your parents, Ms. Garrison and most of our class."

"I can't even begin to try to imagine what you guys went through." Kenny said, "Maybe you should see a docter or something."

"You guys want some cheesy poofs?" Kyle asked

"Not right now Kyle. I gotta get to work." Cartman said, walking away, "I'll see you guys tomorrow morning."

"Okay, what the hell just happened?" Stan asked

"Maybe we should talk to Mr. Mackey." Kenny said, "I know it's outside of school time, but i don't know what else to do."

Later that day, Cartman trudged up the hill to Mephistos lab, and knocked on the door. Mephisto answered the door.

"Ah, hello Eric. What can i do for you?" Mephisto asked

"I've been having bad nightmares for a while now, do you have any inventions i could buy to stop having nightmares?" Cartman asked

"Come in my boy, come in. I'll check my records to see if a built such a device." Mephisto said

"Good afternoon Eric." Pip said brightly, "What brings you up here?"

"Nightmares." Cartman said, "About the mountain."

"Yes, that was quite terrible wasn't it?" Pip asked, "Eric, have you been eating correctly?"

"Last time i ate, it was 2 days ago." Cartman admitted

"Oh my goodness, you must eat something." Pip said

"I allways feel sick Pip." Cartman said

"I'll be right back." Pip said, and headed to the kitchen and found some bread and soup. He put the soup into a microwave and took it to Cartman, "Eat this Eric, it's Bacon and Lentil."

"Thanks Pip." Cartman said, and ate some of the soup. After a few spoonfuls, he put the spoon down.

"I don't know whats wrong with me, I guess i've got so much on my mind. I mean, i don't even know my mother." Cartman said

"I know, i heard the story about your parentage, but your um, mother loves you." Pip said

"I wish i knew the truth." Cartman said

"We could find out. The Docter keeps a profile on DNA from all south park residents." Pip said, "I'll run your profile throught the machine and through hospital records. You could find out in an hours time, who your parents are."

"Really?" Cartman asked, "How much would it cost?"

"Nothing, after the first time he did a dna match, he took dna from everyone in town." Pip said, as he accessed the computer, and typed in Cartman's name, "Okay, let's go and make some tea while we wait."

An hour later, the results came back, and Pip read the results.

"Eric Thedore Cartman: DNA profile.

DNA check: Normal

Parentage:

Father - Liane Cartman

Mother - Shiela Masters

Kin:

Philip Cartman

Kyle Cartman

"Okay, let's find out more about your mother...oh, Eric, i think you'd better sit down." Pip said.

"I am sitting down." Cartman replied.

"Your mother, her original name was Leonard Cartman." Pip said. Cartman tilted his head slightly, not understanding. Pip gulped and continued, "Your mother isn't a hermepridite. She's transgender."

"Transgender?" Cartman asked, "Isn't that like a transformation fetish where men transform into women or something?"

"Not that kind of transgender. Your mother was born a man." Pip said. Cartman's body gave a jerk, and he jumped up.

"She's a man?" he said cringing.

"Not quite. She's like Ms. Garrison, she had hormone replacement and surgery. Geneticly she is a man, but on the outside, she is a woman." Pip said, "Aparently the opperation was performed by Mephisto himself, he was a very skilled surgon until he went insane."

"Oh god, i'm going to need therapy after this. I have two brothers, Philip and Kyle. Can you find out about them?" Eric asked.

"It reads here, that Kyle remained with his mother Shiela." Pip said, "They live here in South park? Oh my, it's your friend Kyle!"

"Arrrgh!" Cartman yelped, "I've been bullying my own brother for 5 years?"

"And Philip was adopted by the Pirrups? Holy shit!" Pip said

"Arrrgh!" Cartman yelped again.

End of chapter 1