I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY! I didn't MEAN to not update for almost 3 weeks...for a week of those days, I was in Colorado, so I have part of an excuse. And the rest is that I was lazy and I had writers block. *cowers* PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!

But this chapter is 6 pages...I did it especially for you, because I'm sorry :D

But you may hate me even more after this chapter...BUT IT HAD TO BE DONE!

Just go read.

-KM

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Twilight or any of it's original characters and it's plot. That all belongs to SMeyer!

I never wanted to say this,

You never wanted to stay.

I put my faith in you, so much faith,

And then you just threw it away.

For a Pessimist, I'm Pretty Optimistic – Paramore

Chapter Three - Trust

I sighed as my phone buzzed, and reached over to grab it. The touch screen lit up, and I opened the message. It was from Alice. How the heck did she get my number? I didn't even use the phone that often, if I needed to contact someone, I could run to them, or, if it was urgent, I could just mentally talk to them. It was much faster.

I read the message: 'Bella, you're meeting Edward today at noon.' She gave me an address and said we were meeting in the alley behind it. (A/N: Sorry…it's 1:30, I'm too lazy to come up with a name or some crap like that…*yawns*)

I stared at the message for a few minutes. "Nope, not going," I decided. I sat the phone down, but it rang again, and saw another message: 'Isabella Swan, you're going.'

I glared at the phone and said "Fine," knowing she would see in my future that I was going.

There was a knock on the door and I opened it physically, it was only a few feet away. Demetri was on the other side, smiling like there was no tomorrow. He saw the tired, stressed look on my face and wrapped his arms around me. "What's wrong, Bella?"

"I have to go meet Edward today," I said, spitting his name out with hatred.

Demetri hated him too, and he hissed in my ear at the mention of his name. "You don't have to go, Bella."

There was immediately a text from Alice on my phone. 'Read my mind.' It said, and I laughed internally, and stretched my mind out, finding hers a few miles away. (A/N: I was going to try to find a spot to put this…but I can't find one. The Cullen's are staying in a hotel in Volterra...) You do have to go.

I sighed, and said, "I do, otherwise Alice will kill me."

Demetri gripped me tighter, "Then I'm going with you."

Well, Edward will probably get pretty PO'd, but he'll get over it. Alice thought to me.

"Then it's settled," I smiled. "I get to take you with me."

I walked towards a bakery that had been engulfed in flames a few weeks ago. There were no surrounding stores, and the bakery was apparently just going to be left here, broken down and unusable.

I walked hand-in-hand with Demetri, and came to an ajar gate (A/N: I may have used that word wrong…eh. *voice turns robotic* The door is ajar. The door is ajar. The door is…) that led to the alley way behind the bakery. I had us both shielded as a precaution. We walked through the gate, and saw Edward.

His eyes were brighter than they'd been last time I saw him. There was more life in him. He was leaning against the wall furthest away from us with his hands in his pockets. He may have seemed livelier, but he was still slightly resigned.

"Well?" I ask him. "What do you want?"

"Bella," Edward began. "I've told you how sorry I am. I can't even begin to cover how much it hurt me to lie to you, and to tell you that I didn't want you. I can't live without you, Bella. The entire time I was away from you, I was absolutely useless. I didn't even stay with my family because I affected them so much with how I acted. When I heard you were dead, I—it's impossible to explain how I felt. It was like everything was going against me. If I'd been human, I would have died on the spot from the absolute misery that washed over me."

Halfway through, I was shaking my head slowly. "Stop," I said to him. "As I told you and your family the other night, you can't fix this. When you left me, it was like there was this gaping hole in my chest. Most of the time, I couldn't breathe. It was like someone had stripped me of everything I needed to function: my lungs, my heart, my sanity. Every night, I woke up screaming. I could barely move; every day was a struggle to get through. I wondered if I would wake up the next day. I thought there was nothing without you, that everything was meaningless."

"Please…" Edward said. "Don't continue."

"No, you need to know the extent of what you did to me. Sometimes…I wished I would die, and that all my pain would just end. I actually tried killing myself a few times. Overdoses, sickness, I even got myself into car accidents on purpose." Demetri tensed next to me. He didn't know that I'd tried to commit suicide. I'd told him nearly everything, and whenever I mentioned it, he would curse Edward's name. (A/N: I'm going to have a flashback in this chapter…I wanna show how much Demetri lubs Bella :P) Nothing seemed to work. I knew that if I resorted to more drastic things, Charlie would be even more heartbroken. So I faked my death. (A/N: Sorry for another! I can't think of a way for her to fake it, so imagine it yourself, haha. Gimme ideas in your review and maybe I'll put it in here.) I came to the Volturi, and I asked them to kill me. There was no way I couldn't die if all my blood was gone. But Aro offered me a position. I thought about it, and I accepted it, and now I couldn't be happier that I did. I have a family, here." I wrapped my arm around Demetri's waist, and added, "And I also have someone who'll never leave me, no matter what happens."

Edward's face fell. He must have understood what I meant. "Oh" was all he said.

He stared at the ground in front of him. I kept my mind out of his head; I knew that he would just be cursing himself. After a minute, he looked up, his eyes focusing only on me and ignoring Demetri. "I…Bella, I love you so much. If I could just take back what I did, I swear—"

Demetri stepped in front of me, forcing Edward to look at him. "You swear you'd what? Play with her feelings? (A/N: Hmm…perhaps this will work to show Demetri's devotion! *giggles like a school girl* …don't ask) Keep her in danger every moment? You never knew what was good for her! You couldn't even begin to give her what she wants!" Demetri seethed.

"Dem…" I whispered, placing a hand on his arm.

"She's apparently told you everything, so I must tell you that I left only to help her." Edward said in a quiet and calm voice.

"Help her?" Demetri shouted. "She loved you, and you just threw it away!" He stalked closer to Edward with every word. "You hurt her beyond comprehension!" He was now in front of Edward, which worried me. Demetri was rarely this angry, and when he was, there were disastrous consequences. "You just walked away, you bastard!"

I gasped as Demetri tackled Edward, sending him sprawling on the ground. Demetri sat on top of him and punched him repeatedly, shouting other obscenities. (A/N: Bad Demetri! Stop cussing! Sorry, my characters just go wild sometimes…I should keep a closer eye on them, they just do whatever they like.) Edward just lay there, not fighting back at all.

He was then thrown up against the concrete wall, and my mind registered Demetri's thoughts. He was going to kill him. "No!" I screamed.

I was next to Demetri in a second, holding him back. For a second, he struggled, but then froze. I released him, and he turned to me. "Bella," he said quietly. He paused for a second. It was the longest second in my existence. "Do you still love him?"

I glanced from Demetri, to Edward, to the ground, and then back to Demetri. "Dem…I…I—"

"Answer me, Bella!"

"I don't know," I whispered.

Demetri just shook his head. "Find me when you can give me a real answer. You'll know where I am, Sparks." (A/N: Nope. Not telling! *seals lips shut*)

He flipped over the wall, and almost immediately, his mind was out of my range. Then I realized what I'd just done.

"No," I gasped. It felt like there was no air in my lungs.

"Bella," Edward said, reaching his hand out to comfort me.

I took a step backwards. I didn't want his pity. I took another step back, and then I continued until my back hit the other side of the space. I closed my eyes and slid down until I was sitting on the dirt, and put my head in my hands.

I heard Edward's steps coming closer. "Go away," I said weakly, not looking up.

He stood silently. "Bella," he said again. "I'm so s—"

"Don't you dare say you're sorry, because you caused all this." I spat, gaining strength from my hatred. "Just get the hell away from me, Cullen." I looked up, staring at him with ice cold eyes.

He opened his mouth, as if to say something, but he thought better, and left. A minute and a half later, there were approaching footsteps. "I thought I told you to leave me alone, ass—"

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I heard a different voice.

I glanced at the entrance and saw tiny little Alice with a furious face.

"If you're coming here to scream at me, Alice, don't worry. I'm already yelling at myself enough for the two of us."

I don't think she heard me. "I mean, seriously, Bella! Edward has done nothing but think of what's best for you, and you just let your boyfriend beat him up!"

"Shut up!" I screeched. "Just shut the hell up, Alice! I don't need you telling me that every single thing that I've done is wrong! That I've made the wrong choices! That I've never thought about what Edward's intentions were! You don't know the half of it, Alice. You probably only saw glimpses of what happened, so you don't have the slightest idea of how much I hate myself right now!"

There was silence from the pixie beside me. Then suddenly, her arms were wrapped around my shoulders. She sat next to me, and held me as I broke down. I cried tearlessly into her shoulder, letting her try to comfort me. I knew none of her words of sympathy would help me, but it felt good to have someone who wouldn't ask questions for the moment, and would just let me cry my non beating heart out.

After a few minutes when I'd partially calmed down, Alice turned to me and quietly asked me what happened.

I explained everything. Demetri's defending me, him attacking Edward, me saving Edward, and then Demetri leaving. Alice listened intently, and then looked into my eyes and asked the unanswerable question: "How do you feel about Edward, Bella?"

I pulled my knees up to my chest, and stared at the concrete wall across from us. "I don't know," I whispered again. "I hate him so much, but I guess a part of me still wishes things were the way they used to be. I know I love Demetri, but I'm not sure about Edward." I turned towards Alice again. "Has there ever been a vampire love triangle like this?" There was an edge of humor to my voice, but in a way, I wanted an honest answer.

"I don't know, Bella, I don't know."

I nodded slowly, and looked away, just enjoying the company. (A/N: Hmm…I guess I WILL have a flash back. I've deprived you guys so I want this to be a really long chapter…)

Somehow Demetri had gone from loving and fighting for me, to hating and leaving me in two seconds. What was going to happen now? He'd always hated Edward without even meeting him…he'd sworn that he would kill Edward if he ever showed his head around here. I would just smile and shrug. Edward would never be in Volterra, but it made me feel good to know that Demetri cared so much for me…

"Bella," Demetri whispered. It had been a few weeks since I'd joined the Volturi. I'd met Demetri days later when he was assigned to help me through my newborn months. We'd created a strong friendship. "What's wrong?"

I was sitting in my new room, on my new couch, in my new clothes (courtesy of Heidi). I'd curled up while lying down, hugging my knees. My eyes were shut, and my face was contorted in pain.

Demetri joined me on the couch, and pulled me up into his lap. I rested my head on his shoulder, and kept my eyes closed. "Bella, please, tell me." He'd noticed all of the signs of my depression, but didn't question much. It was one of the things I loved about him. He didn't push.

"I…Edward," I gasped.

"Who's Edward?" Demetri questioned me softly. "What happened?"

I looked up at him. "Cullen. He lived in Forks, he and I were…close." I slowly explained almost everything. I'd forgotten many of my memories…and over half of the ones I remembered, were of Edward. I was sure that was because they were etched into my mind…the pain was too strong to be forgotten. A few times I would have to stop because I'd told a touchy memory, or I'd just built up all the sadness, and I'd start crying into Demetri's shoulder.

Dozens of times, Demetri would growl, tense, or hiss. Whenever it happened, I would try to calm him down. When I finished telling Edward leaving, Demetri was frozen. His eyes were squeezed shut, and his breathing was slowed and elaborate, like he was trying to stay calm. "Bella…" he said softly. He stopped, appearing to be at a loss for words. He opened his eyes and stared at me intently. "I swear to god. If that monster ever shows his face, I'll kill him. I'll rip him to shreds, and there'll be no saving him. He'll pay for what he did to you, Bella."

I smiled weakly, and sat my head back down on his shoulder. "Thanks," I sighed.

Demetri reached down and put my upright so I was staring at him again. He leaned down…and he kissed me. Demetri kissed me. Now it was my turn to be frozen. My eyes were glued open, and I was unresponsive.

Demetri released me, took a glance at my frozen figure, and said, "I'm sorry. I should leave."

He started to get up, but my hand which had been holding onto his shirt from earlier held him down. "Bella…" His torso was twisted away from me, maybe trying to keep this situation less awkward. My eyes were still focused on the same spot, which was now an empty spot of couch.

I unfroze after half a second, shook my head at an attempt to clear it, and looked at him. It seemed like the sun finally broke through the clouds that had been covering my eyes for all these months…(A/N: I almost put years…but I realized: WAIT A LLAMA! It's only been a few weeks since she joined the Volturi. So it hasn't even been a year yet!)

I pulled Demetri back so he was in front of me, and brought my lips back to his. For a quarter of a second, he was frozen. (A/N: Gosh, these people just freeze all the time. STUPID CHARACTERS! GAWD!) Then he responded, and kissed me back. After a second—or a lot of seconds, I was a little distracted—he released me and looked into my eyes with a confused look on his face. I smiled softly, and whispered "I love you." Because I knew it was true. Demetri had been like my antidote this whole time. He always made me feel better when I was down. And now I knew I would never feel bad about Edward ever again, because now I knew I didn't need him. I had Demetri.

BUT Bella STILL told her boyfriend that she basically loved her ex. And that never goes over well.

So now it just depends on what happens...if I get a lot of reviews, there will be a happy B/D part SOON. If there aren't many reviews, there will be emo Bella for at least three chapters...XD

And I hope you're happy, because, as my friend says, I suffer from "writing to the extreme." When my character gets pissed, I get pissed. When my character is happy, I'm happy. AND WHEN MY CHARACTER GETS EMO, I GET EMO. SO THROUGH HALF OF THIS CHAPTER, I WAS MOPING.

Well...review. Seriously. Last month, there were 356 hits on this story. 12 this month. And all I've gotten are 12 puny reviews. You make me cry.

So review, and a unicorn will fly you to school/work/wherever you want to go every day.

-KM

P.S. In your reviews, gimmeh ideas. I can use them in later chapters. And I'll be all "OMG LYK TY S000 MUCH 3DWRDROX347!1"